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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Building Bridges

These two girls just crack me up! :)
I was NEVER able to do this kind of bending as a child...It hurts just to see it. LOL

I have to say, we are building other kinds of bridges over here too. :)
Last night, during our Family worship time, Daddy asked Alli to get her bible out.  She said she would rather share with Erika.  I can't exactly remember the words, but he asked her again to get her own bible out, because that is what he wanted her to do.
She curled up....
We were wanting to start our talk after  a good time of singing.

And then Daddy said, "Alli, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I wasn't trying to hurt you...

And..... then he said, "Will you forgive me for hurting your feelings?"

AND>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Not only did she sit up, she said, YES, and I'm sorry, and she got her own bible out!!!!!!
I have been able to bring her around fairly easily, but daddy has had more trouble, very similar to what happened with Anna long ago.....

But then, not only did she turn her heart around, she readily participated! She was excited about what we were talking about, and she asked loads of questions.
Daddy's one humble statement, "I'm sorry, will you forgive me"...... turned her around.

He really DIDN'T mean to hurt her feelings. AND she is VERY sensitive sometimes.  She is learning VERY WELL not to be.... but she still is at times.
We have been able to talk with her about what happens when she feels overwhelmed and what causes it and she is becoming more aware that the problem isn't with everybody else in the world, but within her.   I am so proud of her.

This a.m. all went really well, and then in the afternoon she came up to me and said, "Mama, can I go out and see my daddy in the shoppe? "
I said, sure....
She had a  picture in her hand.
I asked, "Are you going to give him your picture?"  She said yes.... and I'm also going to tell him that I really love him and give him a hug too. :)
Last night, a HUGE BRIDGE was crossed!

Part of BCLC parenting is thinking outside the box.... It is trying to look at things from the perspective of the child who has so many wounds, so much trauma, and such a sad history.
It takes baby steps to get them to heal....little itty bitty steps, not huge strides.... But once those itty bitty steps get rolling, THEN you can see the huge strides start to take place....  If I look back at the beginning to now, there is so very much to rejoice over, even in such a short time.  

Daddy really didn't do anything wrong..... but Alli's PERCEPTION was that he was unkind. Her window of tolerance was not open very far....
Because that is how she took things, and it was not his intention for her feelings to be hurt, he apologized.  His humble apology and gentle love for her opened her window wide!  By not being defensive, he brought her defenses down and diffused her.

  They were able to talk some more later, and now she has a better understanding that when she is asked to do something, there is a purpose behind it, and daddy loves her. VERY MUCH.
He was so proud of her.

3 comments:

xpaul34x said...

Wish i could bend like that!!

KC said...

Love it. Thanks for sharing. I am learning much from your blog. Blessings.

TulipGirl said...

Such a sweet picture!

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