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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Glue Sticks Are For Gluing

I have heard more than a few times last year and this year, folks are using GLUE STICKS; the larger foot long kind;  you know the ones we get for our crafty glue guns??  They are using them to "spank" their children.

I'm sorry, but GLUE STICKS ARE FOR GLUING things. They are meant for fun family projects.... Not this!
So, I googled it..... and sure enough, just as I suspected once again.... there is a group of people on the internet recommending glue sticks be used as "a rod of correction".

If you believe in spanking. Fine. This post isn't about that. Spanking vs. not spanking will be an eternal debate in this country.   This post is about  common sense and not harming children. 

WHAT IS GOING ON????    We are such a society of extremes.
I read several posts such as: "the liberal left who wants to keep you from any form of disciplining of your children", and then,  "the extreme fundamentalist right who wants to beat their children for pleasure"......  Those are really near quotes from some of the wesites and blogs I went to.
Frankly, I think both of those extremes are emotionally charged statements that don't solve anything and certainly don't lead to somebody with an opposing view to soften their ideas.

(I won't send you on a wild goose chase, just google for yourself, it will keep you up all night)
Keep in mind these names: Michael and Debi Pearl,  The Ezzos, Richard Fugate . There are others.
Their books have been around awhile.

  I read Mike and Debi Pearl's book a long time ago, when their name kept popping up, and when I kept hearing about how selfish babies are and how they need to be trained from newborn not to demand being fed, held, etc. ????? I'm serious,  I got totally freaked out.  The Ezzo's are regurgitated Pearls in a nicer package, but the message is basically the same. 

One of the problems with these people is they prey on insecurity, guilt and fear. They tell you if you don't do things THEIR way, which is OF COURSE, God's way, then your kids will grow up to be unrepentant  ax murderers and it will all be your fault!  That is a basic synopsis.  In fact, I did a book review one time and was shocked at the venom, just because I dared to disagree with a certain book.
Of course, my soul's eternal state was in question, all because I didn't agree with the person's book!

 People Please!  "Train Up Your Child in the way He should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." IS NOT an etched in stone command that guarantees your child's sure salvation.  No man comes to the Lord unless the SPIRIT draws.
If you are going to take that Proverbs passage literally, then you will have to take the entire poetic book literally and make it all fit into a neat little theological box.....It won't, because it wasn't meant to be literal.  The word used for "in the way he should go", is talking about a child's strength or "bent"...... meaning..... if he is great at carpentry, teach him the skills, and when he is old, he won't depart from being a carpenter, or a plummer, or a musician or a seamstress..... fill in the blank!  But it is just an observation.

After 30 plus years of hearing this type of stuff...... ENOUGH! I am sad to see young parents drawn into the same illegetimate garbage of the day. I am sad to see them saddled with guilt,burdens and fear, that if they don't do things just like so and so, their child will not grow up to serve God.   IT IS NOT TRUE!  There is NO scripture that says this. 

Scripture says CLEARLY, "He who does not DISCIPLINE his son, HATES his son!"  THIS IS A TRUE FACT..... but what is discipline? That is the million dollar question.... Sadly, for many, all it means is punishment, and punishment is NOT = to  discipline.


And that's all I have to say.
maybe

18 comments:

Happymom4 aka Hope Anne said...

I know this is a hot-button topic, but I honestly truly hope you keep blogging about it, Christie. Our son (first born) was "a handful" and we were given all kinds of books (M and D P's included) and encouraged to spank, spank, spank. I won't even go into what all went on and how it created tremendous grief in our family . . . thankfully God eventually helped us get some sense back and we repented of seeking men for answers rather than GOD, and started to learn better and wiser ways of parenting that were far more effective. We learned about grace-based parenting and love and logic and so many other things. We now can see how God was geting us ready to parent adopted children. . . . 'nough said! ;-)

Hevel said...

I think child abuse is a pretty good way to actually raise children who will not be a followers of a deity that commands abuse.

Annie said...

I don't think I ever read a book, or ran across real-life people, who advised spanking. Apart, from (the very reasonable, to me) James Dobson who suggests reserving it for out and out defiance. Our bio kids were so compliant it never came up and the Russians so clearly had something deep BEHIND the defiance that had to be addressed.

Knowing what I've learned about children so far, I can't imagine ever needing spanking with a weapon. Get that far, and there is clearly something else going on that needs to be addressed.

All the glue sticks I've seen could only be used to stab people...they make long ones?

:)De said...

Glue sticks???? Who looks at glue sticks and thinks "discipline"???

~sigh~

Mike and Christie said...

De, LOL.... Not me! That is not until I have heard it brought up more than once.... UGH

I'm so glad my girlies look at glue sticks with excitement because it means we get to do an art project!

Mike and Christie said...

I wonder if some of the conversation I have heard has to do with the part of the country I live in. My son says that things are very different in the East than they are here. He and I have talked about some of this on the phone, and he says that we live in a very extreme area. I wonder if that is right? However, I grew up in a very extreme household and around extreme people, in Southern California, so my perspective is different.

Hevel, I agree with the logic of what you said. I know many and I mean MANY people who turned away from their religious up bringing because of abuse, but it isn't true for all.
I also feel sorry for parents who are wanting to do what is right, and are pressured by those who act in authority over them, and confuse them. I think truly, there will be a price to pay for false teaching.

Ivy said...

I am absolutely with you on the glue sticks. I don't even want them in my house for crafts.... they are practically lethal whackers.

Lyn said...

They are kind of missing the love and trust aspect of raising a kid, I think, if you are going to use something like glue sticks.
That's kind of... harsh.

Happymom4 aka Hope Anne said...

Or PVC plastic thing plumbing tubes . . . My husband, who has worked in construction all his life, became livid when I told him that certain people are advocating using those to spank--and that people ARE doing it.

Mike and Christie said...

For those who would like to seem more that I have written on this subject, you can go here.
http://minichfamilyblog.blogspot.com/2009/04/thy-rod-and-thy-staff-they-comfort-me.html

or just click on the "maybe" in the post itself. :)

Thank you for ALL your comments.

Hermana Linda said...

Ah, that's good that you added that link. I also added it to my site.

Have you found Gentle Christian Mothers? I think you would fit in there very well. <3

Muddled Muse said...

Working at the Montessori school as a preschool teacher for 15 children was a wonderful learning experience about alternative forms of discipline. We teachers emphasized "logical consequences" for negative behavior. For instance, if a child hit another child, they either had to sit out to calm themselves or hold a teacher hand to demonstrate self control. Although I don't agree with the entire Montessori philosophy, I loved how each child was treated as an individual who was responsible for their actions--even 20 month old preschoolers can learn self control with loving and non-physical discipline.

Young Mom said...

Growing up my family used a wooden spoon, but we were close friends with a family where the mom used (and reccomended!) the long glue sticks. The Dad in that family just used his belt. Of course it was all "biblical", never spank in anger, tell the child why they are being spanked, spank until they stop rebelling, and hug and tell them you love them afterwards.

Mike and Christie said...

When our children have needed correction; we have taken them to the rocking chair, made sure they were calm, discussed the issue, prayed with them, and then it was over.

Sorta everything without the hitting part. It is amazing how well it works.

If we were to use the other method, which included spanking, then their obedience would be attributed to spanking by those who deem spanking necessary.
What we have found is that the children are not afraid of being spanked and therefore are more open with us when we talk with them. They are well behaved and sweet little girls.

Have we ever had a child show a sinful attitude? Yes, we have, because we are all sinners.
But, talking with them or having them think things over for a few minutes usually changes the heart attitude.... and it is not coerced.

We have ended a discussion sometimes without resolution and a request to really consider our discussion, only to have that real resolution later in the day or the next day. It is interesting to me how willing the girls are to apologize and repent. Relationship is important.
Frankly, the majority of our time is spent enjoying each others company. These times of correction are really few and far between.

We prefer to use "instruction" for teaching about life as life happens.
For normal behaviors like forgetting something, we just tell them to remember and they do. ;)

Thanks for stopping by! :)

Young Mom said...

Exactly, I was so afraid to stop spanking because I was sure that my kids would never learn anything. Imagine my shock when EVERYTHING improved.

Mike and Christie said...

Young mom,
Yes, that fear was there with me too.
I was taught that I was responsible if my children turned away from God, and it was all because of my own lack of parenting, disciplining etc....if this were to happen.

Is there scripture for this? NO.
This has been used over the years to spiritually abuse people and keep them in control.

It is DANGEROUS. I just came across an article by W.G.Bowen on shepherding which was so very insightful. There is PROPER use of this term for the church. I'm going to post about it soon.
You can read it here:
http://www.biblebb.com/files/mac/shepherding.htm

Kim said...

I was making bread yesterday and grabbed my wooden spoon and thought about when my neice and nephew where young and my sister would spank them with a wooden spoon...what??? I always thought it was crazy and NEVER knew WHY she used a wooden spoon...seemed like abuse to me but my sister is the furthest from an abuser that I know so I'm not sure WHERE she got this kind of idea! CRAZY if you ask me!!!

Samuel Martin said...

I rejoiced in reading this.

bless you.

keep up the great work.

Samuel Martin
www.biblechild.com

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