Adventures at The Grand Canyon

Mike and I only took short vacations to visit family in Oklahoma on holidays like Memorial day or Labor day. We had one unusual trip to Michigan for Thanksgiving, and it was great seeing more extended family up there. When we married we already had 4 sons, and there was not a lot of extra beyond clothing and groceries to spend. Family was lovely and the perfect place to vacation with the children.


When we had just 2 girls at home, we surprised them with a trek to the Grand Canyon. It was their first REAL getaway and we knew that our time with them was very short. We wanted to give them some great memories.
I hiked the Bright Angel Trail as a teenager and had such fond memories of falling stars at night, sleeping by the Colorado River and the treacherous climb up. Going down was Easy Peasy. Going up? It took me about 12 hours. Now, we knew we were not going to Hike down to the bottom and back up at our ages! So, we started our treck by stopping in Albuquerque NM,

then the Petrified National Forest in Arizona, and our final destination, The Grand Canyon.

I told the girls to close their eyes until we were right at a place driving to the South Rim and the Bright Angel Lodge so they could take in the whole scene at the same time. There were Oooh's and Ahhh's and much excitement!

We had such a lovely time that Mike and I went 2 years later for our 35th Anniversary. :) When the girls went with us we stayed in Williams AZ which was really fun. We stayed at the Rail Road Car Motel right near Bearazona, which is a Bear drive thru and zoo.
This time we won the Lottery getting a slot at the Bright Angel Cabins! We had such a wonderful time together! Here are some highlights:

What an amazing trip we had! This was our cabin.

The Cabins do not have AC so it was a little warm during the day, but we were out hiking anyway. At night we decided to go and lay on the ground outside by the mouth of the trail to see the stars. As a Kid, I had no worries and just enjoyed the sight. As an adult, after about 15 min we looked at each other and said, we are in a desert, National Park, and there could be snakes! So we went back inside... Ha. We had the best time, and I was so happy to share my great memories of the Canyon as a kid, with the girls and with Mike. It was a dream come true!

Featured Book: 1

I'd like to start a series of posts on favorite books and why they are favorites. There are so many books to read and yet not all of them are worthy reads. I would like to offer some of the books I have found very useful for personal study or in counseling ministry.

The title for today is "Dark Clouds Deep Mercy".

This book has been so helpful to me personally as well as to many friends. It is a book about Lament and how to use the Psalms. It comes with a journal that really is a stand alone journal you can use without reading the book, as much of the book is in the journal. The author of the book is Mark Vroegop.
The book guides you through a series of Personal Laments, Corporate Laments, Laments of Repentance and Justice Seeking Lament. Each section contains specific chapters for the book of Psalms. In it, we learn to 1: TURN: Talk to God even in the messy lives we lead. 2: COMPLAIN: tell Him all about the problem. 3: Ask Ask Him for deliverance, and then 4: TRUST Have confidence in GOD's trustworthiness in all circumstances.
The Author says that trusting in the Lord is the destination of all Lament.

NEXT: there is a section to personalize it and write your own lament. We read, explore, pray and reflect on each scripture passage. It is a great exercise in personal prayer and seeking the Lord. The more you familiarize yourself with the method, you find it easier to pray and wind up with praise and trust.
I hope you grab a copy, especially the journal, and try it out. I'm going through it for the 3rd time.

A Ceiling Fan Funny

There is this great trick to cleaning ceiling fans that I learned several years ago so I wouldn't get dust everywhere using a regular duster. You take a pillow case, cover the blade, and hold it tightly as you slide it off. All the dust is caught inside the pillow case and you simply shake it out outside and wash it and you are done!

Well, today was ceiling fan cleaning day. I picked a pillowcase I hadn't used before. I had just finished replacing the sheets and quilt on the bed and began the job. To my surprise, I was getting dust on the bed! I made sure to grab it tighter so no dust would escape and then went on to the other room. In the second room the same thing happened! So I decided to shake the dust down so it wasn't near the top and then it wouldn't escape. When I shook it, there was dust on the floor.
I looked into the pillow case and to my fun surprise, it was open on both ends! HA
So my lesson for today was to make sure I get RID of that one, and use one that is normal, as in closed on one end!

Old Video Resurfaced

Erika made this slide show for Sarah. I just love it. It brings back so many wonderful memories!

Donato and Erika's Wedding!

My blog had shut down just after Sarah's wedding. Erika and Donato got married 6 months later! sooo 4 years later.....

She had a beautiful wedding with many special guests. Her wedding was a definite tip to Ukraine as it was surrounded by Sunflowers. Big Sunflowers! Donato's aunt decorated the reception hall with sunflowers cascading down the stair bannister and everything was just beautiful!

Every wedding has something funny happen. This time, was no different. I noticed during the early morning before the wedding we had run out of coffee cups. Then I noticed there were no cups, napkins silverware or plates for cake. The caterer's brought larger plates for the food. So as she was getting ready I went in and asked, "Did you plan for drink cups and cake plates, napkins etc? I got this hilarious stare. "Don't worry! I've got it!" Of course Uncle Bob was on his way down from Oklahoma and about 1/2 an hour away. And my sweet friend Lori was on her way. They stopped at every walmart between where they were at the time and the wedding location and bought all the cups and plates and napkins and silverware possible.

SAVED just in time! All was well, I let the bride know it was all taken care of and nobody knew, except you who are now reading this and a few sweet volunteers. :)

You can follow Erika and Donato's adventures in Europe on a 4 month honeymoon by clicking the hightlight.

So What Have We Been Doing?

We've beem Staying Engaged and Busy!

After graduating all the kids from homeschooling, our church started a biblical counseling ministry. I joined. There is a lot that goes into being a biblical counselor including, a 14 week overview course, a lot of reading, a test that requires 44 short papers, and then 50 hours of supervised counseling. We also attend yearly conferences to learn more. This year we will be heading to TN.

I have learned so much through this process and donate my time to helping others. We have a good hierachy that backs us up and keeps us responsible for making sure proper HIPPA papers are filed as well as proper reporting if ever needed.
Overall, the last 5 years have been so rewarding. I love seeing people succeed in the Lord. The expereiences I have had in life, some of which I never thought could be used to help another person, have been used by the Lord.

(this is an old photo of the shoppe with a few of us in the hammock) I'm also helping Mike in the business. I am old enough to be retired, and so is he, but for now we work. :) We are doing some remodeling and planning to stay where we are. We truly enjoy seeing the grand kids and hosting various events including Christmas and Thanksgiving, the 4 of July and Easter.

We have a ministry group that regularly meets at our home and we also host the 5th Friday night Movie night. September 12 we will be hosting a party to welcome our Son's new wife into our lives. What a blessing! So this is some of what we are doing presently. I'm so thankful for the Lord's blessing us with family and friends.

My New Place To Write

This room used to be bustling with little girls! There were bunkbeds, toys, dressers and the conversation was endless. I remember one time coming in to clean and it was Sarah and Alli's turn to share a room. (we used to rotate kids every 6 months) They took off from the "Mom, Dad and Me" books and made their own Sarah and Alli book. They were writing to each other to solve their roommate problems! We had a rule of no perishable foods in the bedrooms. Each girl had a lunch box with non perishables so if they woke hungry, they wouldn't feel that feeling of not having enough. Early in their lives they DIDN'T have enough! So, those non perishables were neatly placed under beds for emergency use. :) During that time, Alli and I were going to have a talk so we went into her room, THIS room, and she had the bottom bunk. The bottom of the top bunk was exposed above her and there were several rails. The mattress cover against those rails formed numerous pockets to place things in. She had some toys, papers in some, but as we were talking I noticed some "fruit flies"! As we looked at the pockets she sheepishly pulled out, apple core, apple core, banana peel...so we incorporated into our talk another talk about the WHY of not having fresh fruit in the bedroom. It really was quite humorous. Now, this room is filled with memories. It doesn't have apple cores, just a cup of coffee or a glass of water and the bunkbeds have been taken down to make way for books. The sun shines in here in the morning and I can watch it rise from my window. It is perfect for writing and remembering. So this is where I will be writing from now on. I used to be in the kitchen on a shared computer with all sorts of things going on around me. Now, it is just Mike and me. I hope you keep reading and looking at old posts if you are reading this. There is much for me to process and share with love and new insight. The Lord has been so good to us. SO VERY good, even during hard times. He didn't remove those times, but clearly walked us through them. Where we are now doesn't mean their won't be hard times to come, as with anybody who lives on this earth. We have both faced cancer and physical ailments, and the aging process is certainly not for the faint of heart. Ha! But I will write as long as I can about the goodness and glory of the Lord and how He gently leads us and calls us to Himself. He is most certainly a God of Love and compassion. I'm thrilled to be writing again.

Don't Give Up!

This was something our Albina (Alli) said to us many times. She wrote in in art form and sent it to us when she had to be away. She wrote it in chalk when she was home and she expressed it in voice when she was distraught. After us being her 4th set of parents, she needed to know that our love was unconditional and that we would not give up on her. It was HARD, but looking back on all that has occurred, oh so wonderful. The Lord brought her to us. He had work to do in her life and in ours!

She and I were talking earlier today about that time. She said, "I was such a bad kid".... I said, No. You were a HURT kid.
And today, she is a lovely daughter and friend. Honestly, 10 years ago I was afraid for her future, but today, I'm so proud of her. She is truly a success story! She of course is more than that! I'm just so thrilled to see her flourish in her life.
I was there was her son was born 7 years ago. I remember her saying, "Mom will you come? Your're the only mama I have!" and it touched my heart so deeply. I cannot wait for her new sweetie to be born and be brought into our lives. What an amazing story. What an amazing God we serve! No Sweetie! We didn't give up and neither did you!

The Adventures of Donato and Erika

After Donato and Erika married, they waited a year due to covid restrictions and then set off on a 4 month honey moon in EUROPE! They traveled to many different countries and recoded much of it so we could all follow. It was so fun!!! If you go to their site on You Tube you will see some amazing things! They came home to stay with us for a bit until they found a new apartment and caught up with job life. But what an experience! I'm so glad they did it!

Living Homeschool

My dear friend Trece Davis is the author of this most excellent book on homeschooling! Living Homeschool is the title of her book. She also had developed a FaceBook page for those who are interested. She has MUCH WISDOM as a fellow homeschooler who has raised 8 children! She still teaches classes and is just an amazing friend! Go check out her page! If you click on the highlighted word Facebook, it will connect you to her page. :)

Describing A Negative Feedback Loop

This is an old post from 2011. I remember making that toast! :) I have rarely used this wording , but we CLEARLY were in a negative feedback loop for a couple of days.
One of the things our kids will do for us, is keep us from being lazy parents. Lazy parenting will get you into all sorts of trouble whether your child is adopted or not!
Heather Forbes and Bryan Post in "Beyond Consequences Logic and Control" talk about "Negative Feedback Loops" that our children AND WE can get into.... and they discuss breaking out of the loop.

Have you ever been in a useless discussion argument with your spouse?  SOMEBODY has to make the effort to STOP, turn things around and jump off the roller coaster of despair!

In the VERY same way, this can happen with our children.  I wrote earlier today about my own issue but wanted to clarify in this post a little more detail.

We started school 4 weeks ago, we have had a really great start,  but I was not feeling very well.
It turns out my thyroid is overactive..... so my meds are being adjusted.  As a result I was not sleeping well, concentrating well, and just feeling overwhelmed.
At the same time, Alli's 6 month anniversary happened and she was feeling the unseen calendar.... the one that says "It is time to move on."  She didn't know why she was feeling so anxious, she just was.
This started her in a spiral backwards that she just didn't seem to be able to control. She was too busy trying to control everybody else. LOL
Poor baby.... She needed ME to be on top on things and I just wasn't.  What resulted was a little bit of head butting.
I won, every time.... but at what cost?
I began thinking about it.... and was convicted in my heart of looking for short term solutions to long term goals. This is called "goal killing". :)  I was becoming snappy, and judgmental and internally angry.  Instead of gently guiding, I was becoming a coach, barking orders.

Alli has come SO FAR in such a short time.... I am so proud of her.   I didn't look the other day past her initial behavior to see  that she was overwhelmed, and instead called her on the behavior, not caring about why it was there.   This did not help her at all and so, because of my OWN failures, we locked horns off and on.
And the Lord was convicting me.  I needed to be her lifeline and instead I pulled the rope away.

After seeking the Lord and feeling back on track , I was trying to do things right for Alli, but she was STUCK in a loop of negativity. Had I not escalated, I don't think she would have been stuck.
I cooked her favorite fish. We had green beans and I also made everybody a Strawberry Milk shake.
She likes those too.
I figured we would talk after dinner.
Instead, she came to the table angry and then proclaimed she didn't like what I had prepared.
She couldn't rise out of her trouble.  As Mike and I tried to encourage her, she dug in more and more.
And then, she started to cry.  She said, "I really will eat everything, but I want a piece of toast too!"
Honestly, I don't think she knew what she wanted, she just couldn't get out of her loop.

So, here I am thinking. No way!  But my husband saw something I didn't. He saw her trying and she didn't know what to do.  So he very gently said, "do you need the toast?"  She said "Yes Daddy".   He asked ME to make her some toast.
Inside, I was not wanting to, but I put myself aside, and trusted my husband's wisdom.   I brought her the toast and she thanked me, and then she ate every bite on her plate.  She even liked it.  And then, we had a chance for more conversation.

Without any prompting, she wept and said how very sorry she was for how she had been acting. She then began to tell us about some of the memories she was having and we were able to pray with her. I also repented to her that I had not been more helpful.  She engaged in deep conversation for quite awhile, and then during our family worship time, she openly prayed to the Lord, asking for help and forgiveness, thanking Him for her family and how much we care for her.

That small gesture.... a piece of toast, broke her out of her negative feed back loop.

Some may ask, "wasn't she manipulating"?  Some may ask, "What about discipline?"

My answer is, no to manipulation. She was out of control, lost in her emotions and sometimes in trying to gain control it can look like manipulation, but it really isn't.    And what about discipline. The end result of all of this was a very happy, repentant and apologetic child who ate every bite of her dinner and  told us how thankful she was to have us.  Isn't that what every parent wants?   She knew she had done wrongly and we did talk with her and give her tools to learn how to break out of those negative loops. 

I just need to be reminded that I am the one holding the rope. If I don't give it to her to hang onto,  it won't do much good.

Our Sarah

Who would have thought that not so long ago this sweet baby girl who was interested riding her first bike, would grow up, get married and become a wonderful mother to TWO little girls! Her newest baby was born yesterday! We do not post pictures of the babies but just know, they are so adorable. :) That little girl hanging out on her daddy's back while he fixed her bike and then learned how to ride it, is still so very precious to us. What a life the Lord has blessed us with!