The Trip Back

Back to where she came from.  I cannot imagine what is going through her head right now as she prepares to come back home.  I'll have more to say soon, but here are a few photos of her at her old
orphanage.....

Erika and Papa Dima

 Then and now

 Then and now

What an incredible experience. :)

more to come

Our very first posts were about our experience bringing Erika home from Ukraine.
She came home in April of 2006. I started blogging in Feb of 2007.

Seven Years

Abandoned at birth, in a laying room for her first four years, rocking back and forth in a crib with nobody to love her, severely neglected, and then by some miraculous event, a  place in a special needs orphanage opened up in the country outside of Kharkiv Ukraine.  She was sent to Vysoki Special Needs Baby House. 

One of the workers there saw that she had potential.  She worked with her, teaching her how to walk and talk. 

We did not meet this woman on our trip to get Erika, but we met her two years later when she tearfully came up and hugged us and shared with us how worried she was when Erika left. She was so thankful that Erika was doing well and thanked us again and again.  It is strange being thanked, when we feel so thankful. 
Erika is a treasure.  She was hidden from us for nearly 8 years, but God knew..... He was with her.
I do not understand suffering, nor do I pretend to.  But I know that Erika knew how to pray. She felt the presence of God in that awful laying room.  She remembered, and told us when she learned to speak English.
I remember when Papa Dima
went with us to the orphanage he asked her, "What are you thinking about today?"  She said, "I'm thinking about Jesus."  It wasn't until several months later that she fully understood the Gospel, putting the pieces together of Jesus coming as a baby, dying on the cross, and taking our sin upon himself.  But when she did, tears began to flow out of a thankful heart.

Erika was smart! She knew that we were not the same people who had picked up Sarah nearly 2 years before.  She told us, "You aren't them."  We had to explain to her about Sarah's disruption with the other family, and then showed her pictures of Sarah and Anna, and she poured over them with reserved excitement.  Her smile was so precious.... a nervous smile, one that was holding back out of uncertainty, yet wanting to let go and break free.

She told me that she never thought anybody would ever come for her. She cried at night after each child left or had visitors. She had none, except Papa Dima who had been coming for a couple of years to minister to the children twice a month.


She couldn't believe it was her turn, and in true Erika fashion, she was sweetly relishing and enjoying the moment. 
(at the Atlanta Airport, a new American Citizen)

That is something I really admire about her.  She doesn't forget to enjoy the moment, take it in, smell the flowers and ponder it in her heart. 

We didn't know all the physical needs Erika had, nor the ones she would have.  It didn't matter.
She is a person, not a list of disabilities.  What we have found is that she is more abled, than disabled! And she is more abled than many who do not have any physical disability!  She is lovely inside and out.  There is nothing she won't try, sometimes to a fault. :)

(Erika standing on her own for the first time after her feet amputations)

Some earlier pictures to enjoy. :)

Erika is a wonderful big sister. She is not bossy or arrogant, but gentle and kind.

 She loves to play guitar....

She is a good teacher.
Erika we love you more than you will ever know! Happy Familyversary!

 
And yes, you truly ARE sister gold hair.  :P

What About Them???

It has been 4 years since we last visited Ukraine.  I remember the little boy sitting with the lady in blue the most.
I remembered him when we went to get Erika 2 years before. He was so sweet.  When we came back, he remembered us, and He remembered Erika.
He sat next to me and carefully went through each page of the photo album we brought, carefully looking at Erika and smiling. 
And then, the tears began to flow.  His little tears captured my heart and will forever be there.
There was NOTHING I could do for this little one, other than to comfort him for the moment.
He was a "social orphan". He was not available for adoption, but he was STUCK, just like many of the children are.
I do not know what he was thinking. Was he thinking "I miss My Mama?"  Or was he crying tears of Joy for Erika.  I don't know. I just know they were sincere.

And then, there was little Igor.  He is the little boy in the Blue, who also captured my heart.  He has the same type of cerebral Palsy as our Timothy, (spastic diplegia) and he LOOKED SO MUCH LIKE OUR SON did at that age.
Of course this little boy was suffering being in the orphanage. He sounded so cute speaking with his little Russian voice.... But he was saying with a cute smile, "I want to grab your glasses and break them!"  He tried a few times to do just that.... But we smiled and redirected him. 
Poor Igor.  I FEAR for where he is today.  He is no longer a baby in the baby house. Is he one of the Lost Boys in Ukraine who is to rot forever in a mental institution for the crime of being born different?
I pray that somebody was able to bring Igor home. He desperately needed a family, as ALL these children did!
When I think about them, I pray for them.

I do not know ANYBODY who has gone overseas to adopt , who has not been affected deeply, by the  little ones left behind.
Their little eyes will always be with  you. They are in your dreams.  They are living human beings with no hope, no future....
BUT GOD.....

I pray that wherever they are.... they HEAR the Gospel.  I pray that those in their own country will reach out to them and bring them comfort and love.

And I pray for their future families, that they will LOVE THEM with an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that they so deserve!

The Ukrainian Bathroom Saga

In my previous post<---- link, I wrote about how God uses even our selfishness to bring about His purposes in our lives.  I mentioned that we used McDonald's for coffee and sometimes a bathroom, but there was a long story behind that. 

Here is that story! :)


When we picked Erika up from the orphanage, she still had her feet.  She was in braces that she could sort of walk in, but it was hard for her and she was in a lot of pain.  She would more like "slide" her feet in what she called "her bricks".  
These braces attached as high as her upper thigh, just below the buttocks.  They had straps and hinges, so you could let the tops down, but they only went to a 90º angle.

Now, many of you who have been to Ukraine, know that public restrooms can consist of a porcelain hole in the ground.  It would be required that a person "squat"..... a position that I certainly have never been used to. LOL
And Miss Erika, who is unable to bend, hardly at all, CERTAINLY could not attain a position like that!

Back to the story:

We were in the Internet Cafe' near Victory Square.  It is upstairs and there was no elevator.  The handicapped are pretty much UNSEEN in this country. They are neatly tucked away in institutions out of the sight, minds and hearts of this nation. :(

We carried Erika upstairs with us and were enjoying writing to our relatives, when Erika got this look on her face and said, "Toilet"!  I'm really glad "Toilet" is the same in English and Russian! :)
But that look on her face convinced me this was urgent.  We asked her if she could wait, and the answer was "NYET!"
So, I took her to the bathroom at the internet cafe'.  It was a hole in the ground.  I struggled to try and help her over that hole but there was no way! And she said, "TOILET!" Even louder!
Ok, Ok!   I'll get you to a toilet!

So, I got her dressed again, and headed down the stairs with her.  There was a McDonald's about a Foot Ball field in length away..... I was walking as quickly as possible holding her in my arms.  She was small, but she was a bundle at 45 lbs!
It was so cold, and I was getting out of breath. We had to go up stairs into the McDonalds, and then Down a  flight of stairs to the bathroom...
There was a CODE that had to be typed in at the door, meaning you had to PURCHASE something or you couldn't use the bathroom, and oh the LINE!
A manager saw me coming back up the stairs and I must have been was terribly out of breath!
I managed to get out.... "TOILET!" 
Erika said it again! "TOILET!"
The manager quickly took us down the stairs and opened the door with the code for us..... Thank YOU Manager!
The door opened to a room FULL OF BEAUTIFUL TALL WOMEN all crowded around the mirror.... there was no room to fit in! 
Erika said, "TOILET!" 
It was like the red sea parting.... There was a stall open and we rushed in.....
I quickly got her undressed, coats off, braces pulled down...... and then..... AND THEN.......
AND THEN!!!!
There was this, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle..... "Spaciba!"  And a big smile. :)
I was thinking, " for all that effort can't you produce a little more?"
Nyet! It was just a tiny TINKLE???? 
LOL....
So we finished up, and I carried her back up the flight of stairs and we sat on the steps of the McDonald's so I could catch my breath and not keel over from a heart attack. :)
After about 15 minutes, we went back to the Internet Cafe' and back up the other flight of stairs where Mike was happily typing away to his dad.  LOL
He looked at me and said, "Wow, what took so long!"

How God Uses Even Our Selfishness For HIs Purposes

I have wanted to share this since 2006 when I started this blog.  Our 2nd post <--- link  was all about our Trip to Ukraine.  It was more, just a series of emails.  The April 17th Email was written by Mike's Dad.  He said there was a story to tell, and I am going to tell that story today. 

We were sharing this with our Pastor Justin on Sunday and I remembered again, how God is so full of Grace and Mercy towards His children.

Mike, Erika and I were back in Kyiv on the last leg of our trip.  She had passed the American Embassy physical, and had her passport.  We had all of our adoption documents, but we were there a little longer than expected, and had to change our Air  Line Tickets.  We had one day to find the Delta Airlines office in Kyiv, but they had MOVED, and we couldn't read the door in Ukrainian that gave the new directions. 
We called the phone number feverishly, but nobody answered. Instead, we got a disconnect message. Or I think that is what we were getting.

Our translator was gone for  Easter Weekend.  We were quite comfortable when she wasn't with us, and in fact found it better for her time with us in Kyiv to be limited.  She was young and sweet, but made some errors in judgment that caused everybody struggles.  She kept purchasing gifts for Erika, and at one point had Mike carry all her luggage while she pushed Erika in the wheel chair.  Needless to say, we were a little stressed, and concerned and disappointed that her first Ice Cream cone didn't come from us, even though we had made a real request that it did.
I know this may sound silly, but we were being very careful with a very attention deprived, sensory deprived child, and we were on red alert trying to get her through without too much stimulation.
I was cooking most meals so we could just eat as a family, though we did meet with another family a few times and took walks.
Erika ENJOYED the sun and the sights. :)

I remember enjoying that Easter  Sunday morning SO MUCH, listening to the Church Bells going off all over the City, and standing on the balcony of our High Rise Apartment Building to remember the Resurrection of our Dear Lord.

After being pretty exhausted from a full day on Monday, longing for home, anxious to  be back with the girlies, I headed out to get some salsa, and ground pepper.  We were going to have scrambled eggs and toast, and I wanted some spice!  This was my "pre night shade" era where I could have SALSA!

However, Salsa is not a popular item in Ukraine.  IN fact, it was TERRIBLY expensive, so much so, that I could not justify the cost, so I decided to settle for ground pepper.
In the stores, you are not allowed to go behind the counter, you have to point for things, or say the correct word in Russian or Ukrainian. 
I waited in line and when I got to the counter I couldn't remember the word for pepper.  So, I said "salt' in Russian and then signaled "SALT....shaking  and ?? shaking my other hand hoping they would understand I wanted pepper."
She did! YEA!  But she gave me pepper corns, not ground.  So I explained with hand motions again.... doing the grinding motion. 
She got mad and kicked me out of line!  I was BOOTED!

So I went to the end of the line and tried again.  BOOTED AGAIN!
So I went to the end of the line and tried again!  I felt like I was going to cry, but sucked it up.
After all, I should have KNOWN that word, but I had left my book in the apartment.
The 3rd time, I purchased the peppercorns and figured I'd try to crush them myself.

When I got back, Erika was enjoying a luxurious bath and I started dinner.  But I couldn't get those pepper corns crused.  It was too hard and they kept shooting out from under the knife.

That is when MY window of tolerance shut and I began to cry.  Mike came in to find a hysterical wife saying, "I'M NOT COOKING ONE MORE MEAL!" "I'M NOT!"
I told him, "I want NACHOS and Jalapenos and SALSA!"  We had been SO GOOD not to go to McDonald's when there was all that wonderful Ukrainian food to be had! 
McDonald's was for coffee only, and the bathroom, but that is ANOTHER LONG STORY!<--Link

We knew there was a TGI FRIDAYS about 4 blocks from our Apartment, so we headed out.  When we arrived, the restaurant was FULL! There was no place to wait, especially with a wheel chair, but we insisted we would wait!

Then, this man's voice that was DISTINCTLY AMERICAN spoke up and said, "I'm at a table for 4 and I'm by myself, I'll move!" 
We said, "Don't Move, can we just join you?"  He said, "Sure!"
So we introduced ourselves, and he asked the obvious.... "Why are you in Ukraine!"
We explained to him why we were there, and told him all about the miracles that took place to even get there, and all the adventures we were having.

Erika entertained us with her new ability to Sing "Jesus Loves Me"..... every time she heard the word "Cheese", she'd break into song. LOL   (cheesus loves me) :)


We told him about my pepper nightmare and need for spice, and then told him we needed one more miracle.  As we explained to him our predicament about needing to change our Airline Tickets by the very next day, or we'd have to buy new ones, he was intrigued. 
"What airline are you with?"

We told him we were with Delta Airlines.   He got this huge smile on his face and said, "Well, it looks like your last miracle has taken place!"
"He then picked up his knapsack.... It said, "Delta Airlines" right on it!  He was the NEW DIRECTOR for Delta, and had been in Ukraine for 6 weeks, originally from Atlanta Georgia!

We couldn't believe it!  He pointed to a building across the street from the restaurant, and said, that is the new building. Sorry about the phones, nothing happens quickly here. LOL
And then, he said, when you come tomorrow, ask for me, I'll come out and make sure you are taken care of.
The next day, we did just that.  When he came out, he explained to the two ladies that were there what we needed.  They were so kind, and as they were looking for the best deal on tickets, both had little tears streaming down their faces; happy that Miss Erika was headed to her forever home.

I will never forget how God even used my own selfishness of not wanting to cook, to bless us so very much with one more confirmation that HE was in control, even to the point of the mean pepper lady who kept on kicking me out of line! :)
And we RESTED in HIM.

And then, about 4 hours into our second flight, my mind was numb staring at that airplane going across the sea.....:)
And I began to struggle with fear thinking, "We have no money! We have to start over after being out of business for the last 5 weeks....we now have 3 children!  Are we crazy??"
And as soon as I thought it, I confessed....."Lord, you know all things... If you can get us through Ukraine and back, while it is supposed to be closed, arrange for the details of our trip home, and provide all you have provided.....I'm SURE you will not abandon us!

When we finally made it home, it as very late.  We headed straight to bed and sort of went into hybernation.  Our ministry group  had decorated our home, filled it with food, and left all sorts of cards on the counter. 
At about 3:00 in the afternoon, I was opening cards and then found an envelope with $$.... a GIFT to us from those who love the Lord.  
And another thing was placed in my heart to remember God's Faithfulness to His Children.

And she really does love to dance. :)

Our Trip To The Euro Deli

We took our quarterly trip to the Euro Deli that the girls affectionately refer to as "The Russia Store".
Comfort foods are part of our lives. :)  The girls LOVE to find things that are familiar from Ukraine and Russia. They always find something new. :)
And HALVA is always on the list.

I must admit, I was a little bit nervous this time, as Adoptions have been banned to American Citizens.  I didn't know if the atmosphere would be different. I couldn't have been more wrong!
The girls don't speak fluid Russian anymore and I know that was a little disappointing for the owner of the store before. He always questions them on their Russian. 
Today was no different....He spoke Russian to them, and they picked up on some of it.  He also said that his own children cannot read or write in Russian but speak it, because they speak it at home.

This trip was also special, because the ladies behind the counter smiled extra, and,
when the  owner came up to the girls to give them all hugs, he then apologized about the ban and said he thought it was wrong.
He asked a few questions about the girls, something he has not done in the past, such as, where exactly they were and how we came to get them.  And he inquired about where Alli was before, since she hasn't been home as long.  When I told him, he took her by the shoulders and gave her a hug and then he said, "You are safe now! You are in a good family!"  "A VERY Good Family!"  :)   It was really touching.  She was beaming.

Everybody got a free candy bar , along with the rest of our stash. :) 

I was so honored to talk to this man, and then embarrassingly said, Pazhalsta instead of Spaciba.  LOL  I really need to work harder on my Russian.
Oh well. :)
But we all said, Dos Vadanya!

Erika's Walking Journey

It is important to see this.  Erika had ZERO hope in Ukraine. The situation in Russia is pretty much the same.  Erika was ready to be sent to a mental institution on the very DAY our paperwork arrived at the orphanage.... that "Intent to adopt" paperwork.  The orphanage director emailed us.... "ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE GOING TO ADOPT HER?" "HER JOINT DON'T WORK!"
We assured him as soon as we could get there, we would be there for her. We had never met her. She was Sarah's best friend, left behind. :(

7 months later. SEVEN LONG MONTHS.... not NEARLY as long as many have to wait, we went to get our daughter.  She was already ours, we knew it. A love for her grew in our hearts as we gazed at the few pictures of her that we had.
That day came..... she came and sat between us, "My Matchika, My Papitchka".... the translator had tears. She said that had never happened.
Erika was nearly 8 years old, HIDDEN in the baby house because of compassion by the director. He didn't want her to go to that awful institution. His institution was bad enough!
Two days later, Erika had a terrible black eye. She was tripped by a worker; the same worker who cursed in our faces because she knew she could.  Erika told us through the translator.
We saw Erika struggle down stairs in ICE, barely being able to scoot in her famous "bricks". :)
She called her red shoes that, I'm sure that is how they felt. They were also about 3 sizes too small, as were her braces, and when we tried to help her, the orphanage workers scolded us and yelled NYET!
She had tears as she struggled to get around.
She was our baby and was being abused in front of our eyes. She had bruises on her wrists and arms from being grabbed roughly and yanked around. 
The worker who cared for her black eye mocked us saying, "Your mama is fussing over your eye!"
We could not WAIT to get her out of there.
But we had to be careful. We didn't want to make anybody mad. But inside, my mama heart was burning.
When we were finally able to spring her from her prison, the first thing we wanted to do was give her a nice warm bath.  She was terrified to have her braces removed. Her stocking were stuck to her legs, feet at toes, where there were DEEP wounds on top of wounds. IT WAS AWFUL.  Poor baby was in terrible pain.  Once we got her in that bath, she was in heaven. She had never had a real bath.
She rocked back and forth at night to begin her sleep routine. My tears could not be contained.
The depths of abuse and neglect were so raw and real.
Children do NOT just rock back and forth because they like it. They have been neglected since BIRTH.
(Alli, as bad as her past was, does not rock, because she had a mother and father, brother and sister for her first 7 years)

My father in law Ed, put this video together of Erika. I am so thankful he did. :)  I miss him so much.
He died of complications of cancer treatment 3 years ago.
Ed LOVED Erika. :) He loved all the girls.  I wish he could have met Alli. He would have loved her too. :)
Erika has her own blog, you can see it from my side bar, or HERE.http://theadventuresoferikaminich.blogspot.com/

As you think about it... Pray for the children left in orphanages all over Eastern Europe who are without hope.  There is rumor that there is a bill before the DUMA that will allow for the adoption of Special Needs children.  Please pray this goes through.  Pray for those who voted for this bill, that hearts of compassion will prevail. 
We adopted Erika in Ukraine during a ban on adoptions. BECAUSE she had special needs, we were allowed to go and get her.

A Peek At The Past

This was the first picture we ever saw of Erika. Papa Dima sent it to us so we could show Sarah what her friend looked like. She missed her so much.  After they saw this picture, both girls wre jumping up and down, "Let's Adopt her! Let's adopt her!"  
So we did.  :)

The girls and I were reminiscing about when Erika and Sarah first met in the airport.  Erika was shocked that Sarah couldn't speak Russian and Sarah INSISTED "I never talked like that!" LOL
We had such a great adoption experience in Ukraine, even with all the stresses that come with  International Adoption.  We were going through some of Erika's life book and I thought I'd share some of the pictures. :)
This page has a picture we found on the internet. It is the earliest picture we have of her. She was around 6.
The people at the bottom are from our church. They went to visit her before we were able to get there!  On the right, Papa Dima is getting a hug.  The bottom left, I am getting her ready to break out of the orphanage....They strip them down right in front of everybody. :(
These pictures were taken during our 10 day wait.  Her first bath.... she enjoyed it once we convinced her she wasn't going to be in trouble for taking off her braces.   She also got hold of the camera and took loads of pictures of herself. :)
These were some pictures of our trip.  The van driver stopped and purchased these lovely pastries to celebrate Erika leaving the Orphanage..... We taught her to say, "Let's blow this joint!" And she yelled it! LOL
These were taken during our travels home. I think we were all up about 26 hours straight.  She did sleep on the last leg of our trip between Atlanta and Dallas.
Here is our happy airport welcome! The girls wasted no time playing. The picture (3rd down on the left) is where Sarah insisted that she had never talked like Erika.  The top middle picture was when they first saw each other.
The middle picture of us.... yeah, we were EXHAUSTED and waiting in Atlanta for a final flight home. Erika took that one. :) 
These are just pictures after we came home of Erika settling in to her new environment.  The picture on the bottom right was Erika's first popsicle. :)

More random pictures.  The one in the middle was published in our agency's magazine. But they are no longer in existence. :(
These were of Erika's first boating experience. We had a family reunion in Oklahoma.  The top left picture, she is in the left innertube.  4 days after this picture was taken, Erika had her feet amputated.
She likes to see this picture so she can remember her feet. :)
In this video, she had no idea what she was saying.... Every time we said "Cheese" she would break out into the song we were teaching her. LOL

Using Fear To Control

My mama bear fur was ruffled tonight.  It has been ruffled before when I have heard similar stories from my girls. 
Many of you who have adopted children from Orphanages in Eastern Europe know the routine that our children have endured.
Instead of a bedtime story and a kiss goodnight, like many children get, they were treated, terrified with HORROR MOVIES, THREATS, AND MONSTERS.

Yes, even in the baby house.... they were forced to watch scary movies. In the baby house they were told monsters would come and get them if they talked, and then the workers would terrify them. Both Erika and Sarah remember weeping and crying in terror as they were tormented by workers who were supposed to care for them.

Tonight, it was time for Alli to shut the chicken coop door.  She forgot to do it, and as we were all getting ready for bed, she remembered. She insisted that Erika go with her, to which I said, no. Erika is already ready for bed... You go ahead and do it. 
I got a flat out "NO! I WILL NOT!" 
Now this has not happened in a LONG time, and I was a little taken back! 
So my response was not as eloquent as I would have liked. :)  I said, "Ummmm YES you WILL!"
That was probably not the best way to respond.  But as I explained to her later.... "You tie my hands to change my mind when you speak in a disrespectful way!"

She did go out and I promised to watch her from the porch.  But before she went, she said, "Mama, I'm scared!" 
I reassured her I would watch. (I was already ready for bed or I would have gone with her)
So she ran and did her job.  GOOD GIRL!
When she came back, I gave her a hug and told her I love her.  And then, I said, "I didn't know you were afraid of the dark."
She said,  "I'm not!"
"I'm afraid of the movies I've seen!"  "They happened in the dark!"
"What movies?"
"Please mama, I don't want to say!"

So we snuggled.... and I told her I was sorry. I didn't know she was afraid.  I had no idea.
Another layer of onion was peeled back for more healing!

We had a discussion about what transpired and then she came to our room to snuggle before bedtime. Both daddy and I prayed with her and then I said, "Sweetie, I'd really like to know about those movies."  She had mentioned watching bad movies before, but never any details.

She told us a few of the movies they were FORCED to watch before bedtime.  They were told murderers could come to their room and get them. 

WHY, WHY , WHY do these people, whoever they are, think this is a way to treat children?
Alli was between 7 and 9 when she was introduced to this, AFTER all the trauma she endured in her home. :(  I understand that they do this in order to keep the children in bed and full of fear. :(
It is LUDICROUS!

We prayed together once again after her descriptions of the movies she was forced to watch, and asked the Lord to take those memories from her. :(

I am so thankful that tonight happened.  Once again, FEAR was the driving force behind the behavior.  I was reminded of this!  It has been quite a while since I have gotten a NO! :)
She trusted us with her fears, and told us about them, and that is HUGE!

Our sweetie went to bed and is sleeping peacefully, while I am awake, bearing her burden.

Sometimes I have readers from Eastern Europe. I pray, if any of them work with children in an orphanage, that they would think about how damaging horror movies are to children, and consider reading them a comforting bedtime story instead.

Memories

It is interesting how things will suddenly come up from the past for no reason.   Just being in the right frame of mind, at the right time, in the right circumstances can really be profitable! :)

I was talking with the girls today about some of what they remember from the orphanage days.  Alli had brought up how scared she was at night because they had to watch very, VERY bad movies.  The other girls chimed in about scary movies being shown before bedtime OR a worker coming in and pretending to be a monster and scaring the children so badly they would shake and cry.

Erika remembered the Hospital stays being a luxury, even though if she said she was having pain they told her to "shut up" :(
Erika also used to sleep close to Sarah and she remembered a worker coming in and saying to Sarah, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, I will cut it off!"  Erika remembered feeling burning anger inside at the thought of Sarah having her thumb cut off, but she was silent, and she shed silent tears for her little friend in the bed next to her.
Erika also remembered being dragged from her bad and forced to sleep in the kitchen once for talking.  Both girls remember being forced to sleep in the cold for talking.  Sarah had many nightmares when she first came home about being cold.

The orphanages that the girls were in  were vastly different.  Alli's orphanage was a much nicer and better equipped orphanage than Erika and Sarah's orphanage.  Sarah also remembers being transferred in a van to a new place (from the Sanitarium to the orphanage).  She said she was around 4, and that there was an older girl being transferred too. 
She remembered seeing a tall, tan building.  There is a tall tan building in the middle of the orphanage at Vysoki.   She also remembered a brick wall and a cellar. 

The thing that struck me from their casual conversation, was that even if a child is in a "good orphanage".... that orphanage is NOT GOOD!    While Alli had allowance, clothing, food, snacks and more, her experiences of terror at the hands of unscrupulous workers was no different that Erika's or Sarah's. :(   Sadly, she said that she was always afraid of being kidnapped or killed at night, and she wished she had had something to protect her.   
What an AWFUL thing to do to children. :(
There are many children who come over here and want to take a knife of scissors to bed to put under their pillow and their parents think they are homicidal, while in most cases, they are fearful and trying to protect themselves. :(

And for that worker to come in and pretend to be a monster and scare poor Sarah at 4 years old to the point of terrified crying, or dragging poor Erika,  just makes me burn with anger.

I sat and watched my beautiful girls laugh and talk and remember things nobody should ever have to remember, yet there was a serenity and security in their conversation, that let me know, this was truly in the past for them.  LIFE HAS CHANGED and they are loving it.

Alli finds it rather humorous that I won't allow a scary movie. She'll say, "But I've seen them, MUCH worse!"  And I say, "Yes, I know! And that is why we WON'T watch them, EVER." 
And she smiles with a look of knowing that she is loved. :)

Sarah's Beginnings

Sarah's KNOWN beginnings came from this very TB Sanitarium.  She was not in this section, but isolated in a room down stairs to spend her days alone in a crib.  We do not know how long she was there. There are no exact records, but it is believed she was there about 3 years.  She didn't make it to the orphanage until she was 4.  Then, she climbed a tree and broke her hip and wound up back in a hospital for awhile.  I can so see Sarah escaping from crib life, to climb trees! LOL

Papa Dima's daughter told us that they went to visit Sarah at the hospital when she had broken her hip and that she was FUMING mad because they tied her to the bed.   Yes, that is my Sarah. :)
I couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for her, after being confined all those years and then having to go back and get tied in a bed! Poor baby.

I wanted to show the video of the Sanitarium, because MANY children live here for periods of time. They get TB, and then are institutionalized. Some come from orphanages, some go back to homes. Many are abandoned.

Sarah must have caught TB in a hospital or laying room, because she was abandoned at birth.
The darkness of this place was overpowering. It was COLD... it was DARK, the dark you see, was REALLY THAT DARK... the children were precious, and many had no hope. 
I remember a young boy in particular who cried the entire time we were there. He was in total despair. My heart broke for him. 

I am haunted by the things we saw in Ukraine.  I think of the children left behind all the time.  Most of these children are most likely on the street or ready to be turned onto the streets, as this was taken 6 years ago next month.  :(

My Ukrainian Princess

Sarah asked me to do her hair Ukrainian style today. :)  Love that girl!

Erika.... almost 6 years later.

I love how thoughtful Erika is.  She is just turning into such a wonderful teenage girl.  14 is just around the corner! YIKES~!

 Erika is a wonderful daughter and sister.  She has  a real sense of logic and a sereneness which comes from her relationship with the Lord.  I have seen her reach out to each of her sisters and comfort them, offer them true and unbiased friendship offer them kindness and wisdom.  She is kind and considerate to all.

And I love how each of the girls has little collages by their bed.  It is fun to see the pictures they put up. 
I am so fortunate to be Erika's mom. 

This video cracks me up.  She was trying SOOO HARD to learn any English. It was amazing how well she did.  She would hear the word "Cheese" and instantly start to sing. This was taken during our 10 day wait. :)
And Here we are killing Loads of time! :)

Sending a message back to Anna and Sarah on the other side of the world. :)

And she never looked back!

And she never thought it would be her.  But it was! :)
Love you sweetie. :)

Another Trip To The Russian Store

That is what we call it.  It is actually the Euro Deli.  It is a little store that caters to Eastern European foods.  Oh the girls were in Heaven!   I shouldn't have gone out, but Miss Alli really needed to go.
So, I hacked, coughed, oh so lady like, there and back...... I'll be glad when this bronchial whatever it is, is OVER.
Miss Alli loves smells from Russia and reminders of her heritage.  I LOVE being able to do this for her.  She likes the foods we have, and never complains, but I know, if I were to have to move to Russia or Ukraine, there would be foods from America that I would miss, and it would be so fun to be able to have them once more.
I am very thankful that the Euro Deli is not too far away. (40 minutes)  The man is always so nice and tests the girls on their Russian. :)  Dobre Utra, .... spaciba... pashalsta...Das Vadanya ...paca..

Here is a picture of our stash:

 Alli is holding this sunflower something.  I couldn't understand the name, so if anybody know, please help me...  Habla?  Or Havla?   It is ground sunflower seeds, sugar and probably egg?  It is a very interesting texture and  is REALLY tasty!  She saw it and said, "Is that what I think it is??"  Then she smelled it and said, "IT IS! IT IS!" Complete with jumping up and down with excitement. :)

 Anna like the pickles.

 Sarah remembers these. She picked them last time too. :)

 Erika always goes for the fish. :)

 And me? I go for Library Books that are in the "donation" area.  I picked up this little bible picture book for a fraction of the value. :)

 Here is a better picture of the sunflower thing. ( I don't know what to call it)

 I think Alli was very pleased.  Mama was too. It is a pleasure to make my girls happy.

Holding up some more favorites.  Last time we found Sausage from Chuvashia region. They were out of it this time, so we settled for Moscow Sausage. :)