Adoption Update:

A short note to tell you things are progressing well. Noelle4 and Christie are keeping busy with visits from friends in the area, incoming family [Joe & Co.] and meetings with lawyers and social workers. She is doing great and understandably confused with all the commotion, but is happy and looking forward to meeting the Noelle's.
She loves to draw and paint, sew, swim, and is uncomfortable around lots of people. She is taking very good care of a fluffy cat Anna sent to be with her! Please pray that all responsible party's would be coordinated and efficient so that my ladies can return ASAP. =) Everyone is working very hard to make this as smooth as possible, and Lord willing, the details will be completed timely.

The Girlies are all bathed and bedded are doing well and enjoy any phone calls from Mom.
I am getting an increase in work and appreciate prayers that I would focus on completing my work.

Our Church family is taking good care of us and we praise God for love and are thankful for all their prayers and support.

Praise God for His Incredible Mercy and Grace!

IPOEL

Mike

Adoption News

Remember when I posted about news back in November and then it didn't turn out?
Well, we got a call today that I need to be on the East Coast tomorrow!  I am leaving in the A.M.
Only one of us has to go, but I'll be gone a week.
I'll try to update if possible..... but if not.... see you in a week!
I can't leave much detail, as I don't know too much.
This is a disruption adoption, and anything could happen.
There are some great people involved, whom I greatly respect.

So the saga continues!
I'm in shock.

Alibris.com and History

I found this website that is a clearing house for used, hard to find, out of print books of all sorts!
One of my favorite books for history has been America's Own Story.  It was a history book I personally used in elementary school and really loved. 
As I was looking at the introduction, I realized this book was a part of a series. I had no idea. So I went to the Alibris website that viola! There were the other books! I ordered them and can't wait to get them, as we will be using them for future study.
Another fabulous book SET is called "A Picturesque Tale of Progress".  It was written in the 1950's and is a 9 volume set. I purchased it from EBAY about 15 years ago, and LOVE it.  The pictures inside are hand painted or tainted.... amazing detail and beautiful.  The books are informative and cover so much history.
The next set of books I will be introducing in the next couple of years will be The Uncle Eric Book Series. "What ever happened to Penny Candy?"  "Ancient Rome, How it Effects You Today", "Whatever Happened to Justice?"  "Are you Liberal Conservative or Confused?"  and a few others.
This series is really well written and you can also order workbooks to go along with them, if you like.

I LOVE teaching history and seeing the girls eyes light up when we read something they already know about and can then recall.
That happened today. Anna knew the name Tamerlane... and that he was related to Ghengis Khan. They all excitedly raised their hands when I asked what another name for Vikings was?  "OOOH OOOH I KNOW I KNOW!"  Yes, Northmen..... and then, one of them said, "Our friends live in Denmark now.... are their still Vikings there? :)

We are starting our study on Conquests, Exploration and Colonization..... we are going back a little bit in time to cover the Vikings for about 2 weeks, and then we will move forward to our more famous travelers of the World..... from the Various Countries in the Known World.....why they came, where they went, what they saw and more........
Did I say I LOVE history? :)

O Glorious Day!

I love it when old hymns are resurrected! :)

Designed for Love

There are so many hurting children, and adults that have suffered abuse, it just makes my heart heavy.
WE WERE NOT DESIGNED FOR ABUSE BUT FOR LOVE!

And that being the case, the case that everybody KNOWS is true, why is it such an issue?  Why do we take  precious little babies, so innocent, so sweet, and cause them harm?  How is it that a baby can in such a short time be effected for the rest of his or her life, based upon the experiences of the very first few years or months of their little lives?  It just makes me feel so angry..... WHY??? 

My heart is burdened, because I know of some folks right now who suffer from past trauma, including my  children; and I know children who are at this time unable to love or even receive the least amount of love because of the trauma handed down to them by their "parents".  

How is it the very hand that is designed to caress and love and serve and hold and snuggle and tickle and feed and change and comfort, can turn into a weapon of destruction upon the very soul of the little person they are supposed to care for?  

The destruction and havoc that child abuse wreaks on the victim is so insidious, so destructive, so encompassing, that were they not some of the strongest people on this earth, they would not survive.

The doubts that child abuse brings into the victim's mind, which carries over into their adult lives, are devastating; the doubts of being loveable, worthy of love, likable, valuable,  having something of importance to say,  worth smiling at, worthy of a home, or clothes or even a  cup of coffee.....

The doubts go deep into the soul.... and the person doubts if God could love them. How could HE? Nobody else has! Those doubts get buried for basic survival.

It takes a long time to process what happens in the early life of a child. For some children, it will be a lifetime of figuring and sorting things out.  When the right time comes, as a parent, you can be there for them, no matter what their age. The great thing is, life isn't over or decided by the time you are 5 or 12 or 15 or even 30. :)  Healing happens and continues to happen, as a person is able to let go, forgive,  trust and move on.  Notice I didn't say forget.  To forget would be to deny what happened. It happened for sure, and we shouldn't forget,  so that we can remember, REALLY remember, not to repeat it!

Now, that doesn't mean "dwell" on it either...... just don't forget.

Not all things should be discussed and talked about just because somebody else thinks you should. There is this idea that the earlier the therapy, the better.  I totally disagree! I hate the idea that children have no voice in this and are forced into therapy that very well may cause further damage, because they are not given the rights even to their own thoughts.  People, all people, big and small, if given the chance will talk about things at the right time, when they are ready.  We just need to be there, and give the opportunity, and LISTEN.

The modern way of talking to a therapist : A simple stranger with a sign on the door, who happens to get a degree in psychology and therapy as a career choice,  listens your deepest wounds and makes a living at it,  just seems WRONG to me.  It also seems so wrong that YOUR pain has to COST you money to share with somebody, because there is nobody to share with! Wow, what a slap in the face!

One of the things that I like about Heather Forbes is that she gives parents tools and ideas to help their children themselves.  Parents are the ones with the relationships of their hurting children.... and building trust in those parents is one of the keys to unlocking a new world for that child; a world of love and acceptance.  If a parent gives all of the healing over to a perfect stranger and stands on the sidelines, how can real healing happen within the context of the parent being truly involved more than a bystander?  Instead of saving up things for a therapist to hear, why not sit down with your child and hear them yourselves?  Why not share, and take on their pain, with them?  

One of the things that we read about in Scripture, is how God took on our Sin, our Pain, our Hurts.... HE absorbed them all, and took our punishment.  He waits with open arms and eternal ear, to hear our hearts, to receive our sorrow, so bear our deepest burdens, to comfort us with all comfort, to love us with unending ETERNAL PERFECT Love..... a love that none of us are capable of showing, as we are fallen creatures and imperfect in every way.

I pray that the Lord will bring TRUE HEALING and RENEWED hearts to those who have been so effected by child abuse and neglect; both parents who are picking up the pieces of shattered little lives, and for the children, who's lives are a confusing puzzle.  May the Lord  make all of our paths straight as we follow in His light and HIS footsteps. And then that image, of which way to go, or which way to turn will be perfectly clear.  Turn to HIM!

Trust in the Lord will all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will make your paths straight!  Proverbs 3:5.

For your encouragement

Oklahoma Couple Abused Adopted Children

Here we go again. Here is another case of Adopted Children being abused.  I am shocked by the allegations.... but more shocked at the amount of bail set. 9,000 dollars for the wife, and 7,500 for the husband. 
I find that offensive to the children. This judge, if I ever find out who he is, will be getting a personal letter from me.
It is also very upsetting to find out these people were using "home schooling" to hide their deeds. These people were NOT home schoolers!
There was a case a few years ago about a 4 boy sibling group who were rescued from their adoptive home. They were so underweight it was horrible. The parents said they had eating disorders. They didn't. They were being starved to death.  The boys are now FLOURISHING in their new adoptive home 6 years later. I was so thrilled to see this!

This is my hope and prayer for these children.

Sweetie Pie Giving Birth

I never get tired of new life! She had 2 boys, at the very same time, Maple was giving birth to her first baby. A girl.  Altogether, 6 babies this week.  4 boys and 2 girls.

This little guy's name is Chester. :)

My Grandson Will

FOUND THE WORLD! :)
You can read all about his adventure here, on my daughter in law Ivy's Blog. :)
Will is such a sweet heart.... and so is Charlie.   But I just love Will's curiosity and sweetness.
He is at the wonderful age of 3, soon to be 4 and just exploring his wonderful world.... and his mommy, is such a WONDERFUL mommy. She enters his world and shares his excitement.

I am such a blessed Ya-Ya!

Abortion and The Handicapped

She deserves to LIVE and have a LIFE TOO!  This is one of the children from Reece's Rainbow.

This little girl doesn't have an adoptive family because of her handicaps.

She is a precious child. But many will not adopt her, just like many people choose to abort.

So she gets to rot in a bed, because there are those who only want perfect children.

I'm not feeling very politically correct today.  Sometimes, there is a time to throw up on your blog. Since it is my blog, I will.

Technology being what it is today, gives parents the ability to see into the womb. It gives parents information about their baby ahead of time.  This information can be a blessing and a curse.

What if, you were given information that the baby you were carrying had a birth defect, or deformity or disease or condition that would lead to a "quality of life" issue?

I am so disturbed that the common line is "We can abort"..... ABORT!  GET RID OF! DESTROY!!!
Why? Because our kids aren't perfect?  There is actually PRESSURE to abort.  Just like there was pressure for us to remove our son from Life Support.  "He will never have a life. You're life will be ruined.... you can have another baby....he will be a burden."  These words were spoken to me about my son who was already born!
Why do we not treasure our children? Why do we not protect those who need the most protection?
What gives US the right to decide who lives and who dies and for that matter, who has a better QUALITY OF LIFE?
I was talking to a woman one time after Erika had her feet amputated. She said, "If I had a 'mongoloid' child, I would have kept it, but anything else, I would have aborted!"  I was so stunned I couldn't speak.  This was while my little girl was sitting in the next room healing, with no feet, my other little girl was running around happily playing and my son who has Cerebral Palsy and is a happily married man, was in college!
This woman knew each of these children, yet said this!  As if I had made a bad decision.

I will never understand this type of thinking.  Our lives are not given to us to be selfish.  Our lives are not our own.  True JOY in life and true QUALITY OF LIFE comes from Giving, Loving, Caring.....
A handicap is NOT the end of the world! Ask Nic Vuyjic!
Ask Erika!  Ask Sarah! Ask Tim!  and Many Many More!

If you are reading this and you would like to link your blog sight in the comments section, so those who are considering Abortion can see that there is abundant LIFE even with handicaps or special needs, please feel free to do so!

LIFE IS PRECIOUS! Don't Waste another person's life out of fear.  There are MANY willing to help.

Happy Birthday To SAM

I cannot believe it is Sam's 4th Birthday!  He is growing up so fast! 
This is one of my favorite pictures of 4 of my favorite people. :)
3 of them have February Birthdays!

Praying For New Zealand!

A very large earthquake just hit Christchurch NZ.  I have a regular reader from that area. Our prayers are with you!

It's Your Kindness

 "It's Your Kindness That Leads Us To Repentance"..... Romans 2:4

As I was describing working with a child who has difficult behaviors, I was asked, "But what if they aren't sorry for what they have done?"  I was describing a process of bringing a child to your side, rocking them and talking about a behavior that is unacceptable.... I mentioned that the child would then be sorry, you could come up with ways together to do things differently, and then you move on.

The question was really a great question because we have had that happen before. 
But first off, I'd like to say that life is a process. Discipline is a process.... bringing a hurting child to wholeness is a process that may take the rest of their lives!

So with that in mind.  I think sometimes we can be really short sighted. There are books out there that demand a child be repentant, and if they aren't, you continue to punish them until they are.
To me, all that does is set a child up for being fake. They don't want to be punished again so they say they are sorry and they say what you want them to say.  Inside, they may be exploding with anger. Long term this is destructive!

On the other hand, when our little girls have had unrepentant hearts, we have asked to pray for them. I am not interested in false confessions, false sorrow or fake repentance and neither is God.

So, what have done, is let our child participate in  the discussion if they will, and then ask to pray for them.  I have prayed prayers such as, "Lord, please help Anna see that we love her so very much. Help her to know that we will never leave her. Please soften her heart so that she too can receive forgiveness and so that she can be loved.  Help her to see what the right path is for her life. Help her to know you.
Help her to come to you for forgiveness. Please take her heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh. And then, we would hug her, and that was it. 
This was a long process. We had a very hard hearted little girl.  But, eventually her heart began to change. She didn't always refuse to be sorrowful for disobedience like before, her heart began to soften and then, the day came where she came to us on her own and said, "Mama, I want my stone heart to be a heart of flesh. I want a soft heart." And the tears of repentance began to flow. 
This change came about over a period of a couple of years; and it was genuine, not forced.

As Mike and I were talking tonight, we found that there was a common word to describe how children need to be treated.  The word was Kindness.  We need to be KIND to our children.  Kindness is a word that has a certain feel to it for me.  I think we can sometimes be loving, or intend to be loving without being kind.  Kindness is a form of gentleness in both thought and action.
Here is the definition for Wikipedia:
Kindness is the act or the state of being kind —ie. marked by goodness and charitable behaviour, mild disposition, pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others. 
Isn't that a great definition?
We can look at that and ask ourselves: Am I being good, charitable, of mild disposition, pleasant and tender towards my child?  Many of our children's reactions to us, can happen when we are NOT doing the above.....
Why is it, we don't think we need to be as kind to our children as we are to a stranger? Why is the stranger more deserving of our gentle spirit than our own children?

Our own Heavenly Father is kind to us.... faithfully forgiving us, and bringing us to repentance through his tender, loving mercy and kindness.

Despicable Me Review From This Mom

When we were at Camp over the weekend, we were introduced to a movie we had never seen.  "Despicable Me".....

It is a animated feature film about a man who is a career criminal, who uses 3 orphaned little girls to further his life of crime and pull off stealing the moon.  It sounds really silly, which it was...... it was also somewhat clever and humorous in parts..... and the little girls were all adorable...... and they made you like them..... Then there was the Orphanage director who was supposed to look nice and motherly, yet she was sinister beneath the surface and untrustworthy.  She used the children, and then, when they didn't please her, placed them in "The Box of Shame"...... and everybody laughed.   But me.

It was a little too real and surreal at the same time and I had trouble processing what I was watching.  As a parent to 3 little girls who were orphaned at one time, it was a little too close to home.  One of our girls didn't watch the movie but chose to play pool instead.... another wanted to see it, and as soon as the "Box of Shame" showed up, she went from the front row to sitting right next to us and I could feel her breathing...... she said it didn't bother her.... but her body language said something different.
Our other little girl laughed through the movie and enjoyed it.

Apart from the strong adoption - neglect theme throughout the movie.... here is what REALLY bothered me.
There was nothing moral about this movie.  The criminal did not give up his life of crime. He did fall in love with the little girls and wanted to be their father, but he never apologized for being a career criminal..... so it was mixed between a really bad guy, who had a loving heart towards his kids.

That is sort of like, praising a bank robber who quits robbing at 3:00 to be on time to his daughter's ballet recital.... Is that something to praise?  I don't think so. 
I am concerned about this type of movie, because the message is subtly placed within a humorous plot and it is FUN.... some of it.   So why be so fuddy duddy about it?
Because it is IMMORAL.
The bad guy was made to look good. There was no good guy in the movie at all.

You do not adopt children to use them.  Stealing is WRONG. A life of crime is wrong.  Just because a child gets a hug good night and a bedtime story at the end of the movie, it doesn't mean it is good.
I really did not like this movie.

For a child who is insecure in their placement, I could see that it could be devastating.  Had it been 2 years ago, we would have all left to go and play pool or do video games or air hockey.  I can't expect everybody to understand this, and I don't....but for those who might accidently get introduced to this movie; Beware.

Out On A Limb Family Retreat

I have blogged before about the wonderful camp the girls go to in the Summer. During the Winter time, there is a family retreat that takes place as a follow up to summer camp. The entire family goes, so the siblings and other parents can have part of the special experience that makes up Peaceable Kingdom for Children.
We had a really great time this weekend!  As Abigail said, "It is amazing how 1 week in the summer and a weekend in the winter each year can bring you together like a family."  And that is exactly how it feels; like a very special family reunion each year.  Some of us see each other at the hospital during the year off and on as our appointments come together at the same time, yet sometimes the only time we see each other is at camp.

This weekend Anna's favorite thing was trying the Swing. It was her first time. She really loved it.

Sarah's favorite thing was playing the games. I didn't get many pictures of the crazy games they had us do, but it was fun.....
Here she is getting ready to swing.  Scott the Owner of the camp is getting her ready:

And here is her epic swing! :)

 
Erika's favorite was teasing her Prosthetist in training Nathan.  They got him with Water!  Erika also loves to visit her best friend Brittany.
It is funny how in the clinic, everything is so "Clinical".... "Hello, can you stand, can you walk, let me fix that, how does it feel..... "..... and at camp the very same rather stoic fellow is like, "GET EM!!! WHOOO HOOOO!" LOL   That was Nathan. :)

 

Erika had a great swing too!

Overall it was a really great weekend.  Here are some shots of the cabin and 

other activity shots:

 Getting ready for the day

 Getting out of the web

 Anna, enjoying a bird's eye view. :)

 Team work!

 They made the parents walk the plank too!

 This was Erika walking a tight rope wire.  It was a lot of work for her but she did it!

Sarah waiting to be hoisted up on the swing.

 Playing a game on an I pad.

The pictures do not do justice to what this camp is like. :)  A group of Motorcyclists came also from a local community and let the kids get on their bikes, honk the horns and rev the engines, then they joined us for dinner and games.  They were really nice people. They raise money for this camp each year.
There are a lot of wonderful people out there who really do care to make a difference in the life of somebody else..... We are hoping, HOPING that this summer, some Veterans who have lost limbs will be able to join us at Summer camp to encourage them.... They will go home changed.

Child Abuse and Adoption

I was sickened and horrified to read about yet another child abuse/murder case of an adopted child/children.  It is just too much.....

We are all capable of much sin, I know this...... and I also know there are stresses out there with parenting that can bring you to the brink...... but honestly, it SEEMS that abuse is just over the top and out of control!  I don't know if it is just that there is more reporting of it, but what I came across today really disturbed me to my core.

I was reading about the recent case in Florida where the children were tied up regularly. The twins were adopted, and the family had numerous issues with CPS.  But it all came to an end, with a child dead and another clinging to life with severe burns.  I wanted to find a local update from Florida so I googled adopted children abused... and came across this. The case of Cassandra Killpack, a 4 year old girl, adopted... not sure where from.....but murdered at the hands of her parents.  The first article I read was about how the mom wanted out of prison so she could raise her biological children. They missed her.  There was much blame placed upon her 4 year old who was said to have RAD.  This family was from Utah and went to therapy at a Utah clinic in Orem.  They claimed that they were told to do what they did. The clinic denied it.
However, I wonder......
Frankly, I have read some things that I find downright dangerous and abusive..... placed into the hands of a stressed out mother, I could easily see how things could spiral out of control..... it is the human factor. 
I don't know why it is harder to do something out of a place of love and control than anger and hostility..... but it seems to be, even though the results of kindness and self control go FAR with a child who has RAD.
Why oh WHY would a RAD child WANT to attach to a scary, angry person? 
 There is the recent case of the angry mother who gave her child cold showers and hot sauce, there is the awful case of the little girls from Liberia who were both systematically BEATEN with plumbers pipeline until one of them died and the other was in critical condition..... and the list goes ON.....and ON!
What is sad, is the kids are being blamed.
THAT, I DO NOT get.  I DO get that children can have very difficult behaviors. I DO get that it can cause a parent to be frazzled..... but I DO NOT get, how you can come to the conclusion that extreme punishments, exercises, holding positions, forced rages, forcing a child to ask for each and every direction, including if they can have a sip of water or go to the bathroom...... etc. etc. all done in the name of "THERAPY" have EVER made it out of a person's mind, into a book or article and somehow became "professional therapy"..... Where did these people go to school? Auschwitz?

I feel sad for people who have been caught up into these types of child torture, only to find their children harder to reach and further down the path of destruction, because now they can't even trust the one who claims to love them.

There are MANY great resources available for parents who are struggling.... but honestly..... as parents, we need to take responsibility for our OWN actions, our OWN control issues, our OWN temper fits..... and stop blaming our children.

It does not mean anything is easy.. ..... but GREAT things come from GREAT struggle, IF you are struggling in the right direction TOGETHER on the SAME TEAM.....

If you are caught up into some "therapies" that do not feel right, or you are not having success;
or, if you are parenting, not necessarily seeking help, and you are finding yourself frustrated and things are not working.... ask yourself, "How long do I do the same thing and expect a different result?"  1 year, 2 years?  "If what I am doing isn't working, WHY am I still doing it?"

If my children have figured out how to press my buttons, why do I have my buttons exposed?
What do I need to deal with before I can help my own children?
It does seem sort of silly to try to help a child not have temper tantrums, when the adults in his/her life are throwing fits themselves.

We are the ADULTS.... WE  ARE responsible!  TAKE CONTROL! Be Empowered and Energized!

And if you are thinking about adopting, EDUCATE yourself......do your homework, research and investigate.... and PRAY.  Sometimes Life can throw us some real curve balls.... sometimes life is hard for a season..... but keep it in perspective. Our children come to us broken and hurt....they didn't get that way overnight and they will not heal overnight.  It is a process.... a LONG process.

Excellent resources:
Scripture: all about love, all about self control, all about relationship......
Heather Forbes - Dare to Love, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control volumes 1 and 2
Karyn Purvis- The Connected Child,  and her website.   
Clay and Sally Clarkson- Heartfelt Discipline
and Sally's Blog  is full of wonderful advice for moms.

CHOOSE NOT TO ABUSE!

New Kid

One of our little baby goats is still having trouble competing for milk and standing..... not sure why.... but he is in for the night with 3 little mothers waiting to feed him.  He is eating really well and getting stronger.  He really sounds like a kid! :)

New Babies

Introducing, Tarzan, Phillip and Suzy!

Tim's Birthday

It is another birthday for Timothy!  I am so excited about him being THIRTY!!!!! :)
I wrote this post a few months ago about Tim and Em and their announcement.  What a wonderful Gift God has given us, in Tim.
I wrote this post about Tim a while back....

Happy Birthday Dear Son!

A Slide show

Happy Valentine's Day Thoughts

Happy Valentine's Day to all... especially My Mike.

On the Subject of Love.....

What is Love Exactly! It is amazing how many ways we use the word Love.

I "Love" Pizza!

I "Love" chocolate!

I "Love" my shoes!

I "Love" my husband!

I "Love" my children!

Somehow, this over used word loses it's true meaning when we apply it to food and clothing.

So, since Love is an abstract word, it is hard to understand it's meaning sometimes.

The Bible has a wonderful description of Love in 1 Corinthians 13.

This chapter not only explains what love IS, it also says what LOVE isn't. 

One of the stand out portions of this scripture is:

If I speak with the tongues of Men and Angels but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have prophetic powers, understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I AM NOTHING. If I give away all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned but have not love, I gain NOTHING.

Does this mean that I could actually sacrifice all that I have, and actually NOT love?

YES! 

 Love, is a verb YES, but it is NOT just giving everything up sacrificially with the "woe is me, look at all the sacrifices I am giving up for you!"  

TRUE LOVE is patient and kind! KIND! Not resentful! True love does not envy or boast.

True love does not rejoice when something bad happens to somebody or in wrong doing, but rejoices in the truth. 

TRUE LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS and it never, EVER ends!

A Morning Cup of Feminine Joe

Sarah and I got our fancy cups out of the cabinet to use for our morning Coffee today.

 We both felt quite Feminine by using our favorite delicate cups!

She prefers hers with Milk.

I think we need to get a couple of different fine cups so we can all enjoy a feminine cup of Tea
each day while chatting about various topics......
Earl Grey is my Favorite! What is yours?