This is one of my favorite pictures of 4 of my favorite people. :)
3 of them have February Birthdays!
The Minich Family Blog: Every Family Has A Story...Welcome To Ours
Monday, February 21, 2011
Happy Birthday To SAM
I cannot believe it is Sam's 4th Birthday! He is growing up so fast!
This is one of my favorite pictures of 4 of my favorite people. :)
3 of them have February Birthdays!
This is one of my favorite pictures of 4 of my favorite people. :)
3 of them have February Birthdays!
Praying For New Zealand!
A very large earthquake just hit Christchurch NZ. I have a regular reader from that area. Our prayers are with you!
It's Your Kindness
"It's Your Kindness That Leads Us To Repentance"..... Romans 2:4
As I was describing working with a child who has difficult behaviors, I was asked, "But what if they aren't sorry for what they have done?" I was describing a process of bringing a child to your side, rocking them and talking about a behavior that is unacceptable.... I mentioned that the child would then be sorry, you could come up with ways together to do things differently, and then you move on.
The question was really a great question because we have had that happen before.
But first off, I'd like to say that life is a process. Discipline is a process.... bringing a hurting child to wholeness is a process that may take the rest of their lives!
So with that in mind. I think sometimes we can be really short sighted. There are books out there that demand a child be repentant, and if they aren't, you continue to punish them until they are.
To me, all that does is set a child up for being fake. They don't want to be punished again so they say they are sorry and they say what you want them to say. Inside, they may be exploding with anger. Long term this is destructive!
On the other hand, when our little girls have had unrepentant hearts, we have asked to pray for them. I am not interested in false confessions, false sorrow or fake repentance and neither is God.
So, what have done, is let our child participate in the discussion if they will, and then ask to pray for them. I have prayed prayers such as, "Lord, please help Anna see that we love her so very much. Help her to know that we will never leave her. Please soften her heart so that she too can receive forgiveness and so that she can be loved. Help her to see what the right path is for her life. Help her to know you.
Help her to come to you for forgiveness. Please take her heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh. And then, we would hug her, and that was it.
This was a long process. We had a very hard hearted little girl. But, eventually her heart began to change. She didn't always refuse to be sorrowful for disobedience like before, her heart began to soften and then, the day came where she came to us on her own and said, "Mama, I want my stone heart to be a heart of flesh. I want a soft heart." And the tears of repentance began to flow.
This change came about over a period of a couple of years; and it was genuine, not forced.
As Mike and I were talking tonight, we found that there was a common word to describe how children need to be treated. The word was Kindness. We need to be KIND to our children. Kindness is a word that has a certain feel to it for me. I think we can sometimes be loving, or intend to be loving without being kind. Kindness is a form of gentleness in both thought and action.
Here is the definition for Wikipedia:
Kindness is the act or the state of being kind —ie. marked by goodness and charitable behaviour, mild disposition, pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others.
Isn't that a great definition?
We can look at that and ask ourselves: Am I being good, charitable, of mild disposition, pleasant and tender towards my child? Many of our children's reactions to us, can happen when we are NOT doing the above.....
Why is it, we don't think we need to be as kind to our children as we are to a stranger? Why is the stranger more deserving of our gentle spirit than our own children?
Our own Heavenly Father is kind to us.... faithfully forgiving us, and bringing us to repentance through his tender, loving mercy and kindness.
As I was describing working with a child who has difficult behaviors, I was asked, "But what if they aren't sorry for what they have done?" I was describing a process of bringing a child to your side, rocking them and talking about a behavior that is unacceptable.... I mentioned that the child would then be sorry, you could come up with ways together to do things differently, and then you move on.
The question was really a great question because we have had that happen before.
But first off, I'd like to say that life is a process. Discipline is a process.... bringing a hurting child to wholeness is a process that may take the rest of their lives!
So with that in mind. I think sometimes we can be really short sighted. There are books out there that demand a child be repentant, and if they aren't, you continue to punish them until they are.
To me, all that does is set a child up for being fake. They don't want to be punished again so they say they are sorry and they say what you want them to say. Inside, they may be exploding with anger. Long term this is destructive!
On the other hand, when our little girls have had unrepentant hearts, we have asked to pray for them. I am not interested in false confessions, false sorrow or fake repentance and neither is God.
So, what have done, is let our child participate in the discussion if they will, and then ask to pray for them. I have prayed prayers such as, "Lord, please help Anna see that we love her so very much. Help her to know that we will never leave her. Please soften her heart so that she too can receive forgiveness and so that she can be loved. Help her to see what the right path is for her life. Help her to know you.
Help her to come to you for forgiveness. Please take her heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh. And then, we would hug her, and that was it.
This was a long process. We had a very hard hearted little girl. But, eventually her heart began to change. She didn't always refuse to be sorrowful for disobedience like before, her heart began to soften and then, the day came where she came to us on her own and said, "Mama, I want my stone heart to be a heart of flesh. I want a soft heart." And the tears of repentance began to flow.
This change came about over a period of a couple of years; and it was genuine, not forced.
As Mike and I were talking tonight, we found that there was a common word to describe how children need to be treated. The word was Kindness. We need to be KIND to our children. Kindness is a word that has a certain feel to it for me. I think we can sometimes be loving, or intend to be loving without being kind. Kindness is a form of gentleness in both thought and action.
Here is the definition for Wikipedia:
Kindness is the act or the state of being kind —ie. marked by goodness and charitable behaviour, mild disposition, pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others.
Isn't that a great definition?
We can look at that and ask ourselves: Am I being good, charitable, of mild disposition, pleasant and tender towards my child? Many of our children's reactions to us, can happen when we are NOT doing the above.....
Why is it, we don't think we need to be as kind to our children as we are to a stranger? Why is the stranger more deserving of our gentle spirit than our own children?
Our own Heavenly Father is kind to us.... faithfully forgiving us, and bringing us to repentance through his tender, loving mercy and kindness.
Despicable Me Review From This Mom
It is a animated feature film about a man who is a career criminal, who uses 3 orphaned little girls to further his life of crime and pull off stealing the moon. It sounds really silly, which it was...... it was also somewhat clever and humorous in parts..... and the little girls were all adorable...... and they made you like them..... Then there was the Orphanage director who was supposed to look nice and motherly, yet she was sinister beneath the surface and untrustworthy. She used the children, and then, when they didn't please her, placed them in "The Box of Shame"...... and everybody laughed. But me.
It was a little too real and surreal at the same time and I had trouble processing what I was watching. As a parent to 3 little girls who were orphaned at one time, it was a little too close to home. One of our girls didn't watch the movie but chose to play pool instead.... another wanted to see it, and as soon as the "Box of Shame" showed up, she went from the front row to sitting right next to us and I could feel her breathing...... she said it didn't bother her.... but her body language said something different.
Our other little girl laughed through the movie and enjoyed it.
Apart from the strong adoption - neglect theme throughout the movie.... here is what REALLY bothered me.
There was nothing moral about this movie. The criminal did not give up his life of crime. He did fall in love with the little girls and wanted to be their father, but he never apologized for being a career criminal..... so it was mixed between a really bad guy, who had a loving heart towards his kids.
That is sort of like, praising a bank robber who quits robbing at 3:00 to be on time to his daughter's ballet recital.... Is that something to praise? I don't think so.
I am concerned about this type of movie, because the message is subtly placed within a humorous plot and it is FUN.... some of it. So why be so fuddy duddy about it?
Because it is IMMORAL.
The bad guy was made to look good. There was no good guy in the movie at all.
You do not adopt children to use them. Stealing is WRONG. A life of crime is wrong. Just because a child gets a hug good night and a bedtime story at the end of the movie, it doesn't mean it is good.
I really did not like this movie.
For a child who is insecure in their placement, I could see that it could be devastating. Had it been 2 years ago, we would have all left to go and play pool or do video games or air hockey. I can't expect everybody to understand this, and I don't....but for those who might accidently get introduced to this movie; Beware.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Out On A Limb Family Retreat
I have blogged before about the wonderful camp the girls go to in the Summer. During the Winter time, there is a family retreat that takes place as a follow up to summer camp. The entire family goes, so the siblings and other parents can have part of the special experience that makes up Peaceable Kingdom for Children.
We had a really great time this weekend! As Abigail said, "It is amazing how 1 week in the summer and a weekend in the winter each year can bring you together like a family." And that is exactly how it feels; like a very special family reunion each year. Some of us see each other at the hospital during the year off and on as our appointments come together at the same time, yet sometimes the only time we see each other is at camp.
This weekend Anna's favorite thing was trying the Swing. It was her first time. She really loved it.
Sarah's favorite thing was playing the games. I didn't get many pictures of the crazy games they had us do, but it was fun.....
Here she is getting ready to swing. Scott the Owner of the camp is getting her ready:
And here is her epic swing! :)
Erika's favorite was teasing her Prosthetist in training Nathan. They got him with Water! Erika also loves to visit her best friend Brittany.
It is funny how in the clinic, everything is so "Clinical".... "Hello, can you stand, can you walk, let me fix that, how does it feel..... "..... and at camp the very same rather stoic fellow is like, "GET EM!!! WHOOO HOOOO!" LOL That was Nathan. :)
Getting ready for the day
Getting out of the web
Anna, enjoying a bird's eye view. :)
Team work!
They made the parents walk the plank too!
This was Erika walking a tight rope wire. It was a lot of work for her but she did it!
Playing a game on an I pad.
The pictures do not do justice to what this camp is like. :) A group of Motorcyclists came also from a local community and let the kids get on their bikes, honk the horns and rev the engines, then they joined us for dinner and games. They were really nice people. They raise money for this camp each year.
There are a lot of wonderful people out there who really do care to make a difference in the life of somebody else..... We are hoping, HOPING that this summer, some Veterans who have lost limbs will be able to join us at Summer camp to encourage them.... They will go home changed.
We had a really great time this weekend! As Abigail said, "It is amazing how 1 week in the summer and a weekend in the winter each year can bring you together like a family." And that is exactly how it feels; like a very special family reunion each year. Some of us see each other at the hospital during the year off and on as our appointments come together at the same time, yet sometimes the only time we see each other is at camp.
This weekend Anna's favorite thing was trying the Swing. It was her first time. She really loved it.
Here she is getting ready to swing. Scott the Owner of the camp is getting her ready:
And here is her epic swing! :)
Erika's favorite was teasing her Prosthetist in training Nathan. They got him with Water! Erika also loves to visit her best friend Brittany.
It is funny how in the clinic, everything is so "Clinical".... "Hello, can you stand, can you walk, let me fix that, how does it feel..... "..... and at camp the very same rather stoic fellow is like, "GET EM!!! WHOOO HOOOO!" LOL That was Nathan. :)
Erika had a great swing too!
Overall it was a really great weekend. Here are some shots of the cabin and
other activity shots:
Sarah waiting to be hoisted up on the swing.
The pictures do not do justice to what this camp is like. :) A group of Motorcyclists came also from a local community and let the kids get on their bikes, honk the horns and rev the engines, then they joined us for dinner and games. They were really nice people. They raise money for this camp each year.
There are a lot of wonderful people out there who really do care to make a difference in the life of somebody else..... We are hoping, HOPING that this summer, some Veterans who have lost limbs will be able to join us at Summer camp to encourage them.... They will go home changed.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Child Abuse and Adoption
I was sickened and horrified to read about yet another child abuse/murder case of an adopted child/children. It is just too much.....
We are all capable of much sin, I know this...... and I also know there are stresses out there with parenting that can bring you to the brink...... but honestly, it SEEMS that abuse is just over the top and out of control! I don't know if it is just that there is more reporting of it, but what I came across today really disturbed me to my core.
I was reading about the recent case in Florida where the children were tied up regularly. The twins were adopted, and the family had numerous issues with CPS. But it all came to an end, with a child dead and another clinging to life with severe burns. I wanted to find a local update from Florida so I googled adopted children abused... and came across this. The case of Cassandra Killpack, a 4 year old girl, adopted... not sure where from.....but murdered at the hands of her parents. The first article I read was about how the mom wanted out of prison so she could raise her biological children. They missed her. There was much blame placed upon her 4 year old who was said to have RAD. This family was from Utah and went to therapy at a Utah clinic in Orem. They claimed that they were told to do what they did. The clinic denied it.
However, I wonder......
Frankly, I have read some things that I find downright dangerous and abusive..... placed into the hands of a stressed out mother, I could easily see how things could spiral out of control..... it is the human factor.
I don't know why it is harder to do something out of a place of love and control than anger and hostility..... but it seems to be, even though the results of kindness and self control go FAR with a child who has RAD.
Why oh WHY would a RAD child WANT to attach to a scary, angry person?
There is the recent case of the angry mother who gave her child cold showers and hot sauce, there is the awful case of the little girls from Liberia who were both systematically BEATEN with plumbers pipeline until one of them died and the other was in critical condition..... and the list goes ON.....and ON!
What is sad, is the kids are being blamed.
THAT, I DO NOT get. I DO get that children can have very difficult behaviors. I DO get that it can cause a parent to be frazzled..... but I DO NOT get, how you can come to the conclusion that extreme punishments, exercises, holding positions, forced rages, forcing a child to ask for each and every direction, including if they can have a sip of water or go to the bathroom...... etc. etc. all done in the name of "THERAPY" have EVER made it out of a person's mind, into a book or article and somehow became "professional therapy"..... Where did these people go to school? Auschwitz?
I feel sad for people who have been caught up into these types of child torture, only to find their children harder to reach and further down the path of destruction, because now they can't even trust the one who claims to love them.
There are MANY great resources available for parents who are struggling.... but honestly..... as parents, we need to take responsibility for our OWN actions, our OWN control issues, our OWN temper fits..... and stop blaming our children.
It does not mean anything is easy.. ..... but GREAT things come from GREAT struggle, IF you are struggling in the right direction TOGETHER on the SAME TEAM.....
If you are caught up into some "therapies" that do not feel right, or you are not having success;
or, if you are parenting, not necessarily seeking help, and you are finding yourself frustrated and things are not working.... ask yourself, "How long do I do the same thing and expect a different result?" 1 year, 2 years? "If what I am doing isn't working, WHY am I still doing it?"
If my children have figured out how to press my buttons, why do I have my buttons exposed?
What do I need to deal with before I can help my own children?
It does seem sort of silly to try to help a child not have temper tantrums, when the adults in his/her life are throwing fits themselves.
We are the ADULTS.... WE ARE responsible! TAKE CONTROL! Be Empowered and Energized!
And if you are thinking about adopting, EDUCATE yourself......do your homework, research and investigate.... and PRAY. Sometimes Life can throw us some real curve balls.... sometimes life is hard for a season..... but keep it in perspective. Our children come to us broken and hurt....they didn't get that way overnight and they will not heal overnight. It is a process.... a LONG process.
Excellent resources:
Scripture: all about love, all about self control, all about relationship......
Heather Forbes - Dare to Love, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control volumes 1 and 2
Karyn Purvis- The Connected Child, and her website.
Clay and Sally Clarkson- Heartfelt Discipline
and Sally's Blog is full of wonderful advice for moms.
CHOOSE NOT TO ABUSE!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
New Kid
One of our little baby goats is still having trouble competing for milk and standing..... not sure why.... but he is in for the night with 3 little mothers waiting to feed him. He is eating really well and getting stronger. He really sounds like a kid! :)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tim's Birthday
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day Thoughts
Happy Valentine's Day to all... especially My Mike.On the Subject of Love.....
What is Love Exactly! It is amazing how many ways we use the word Love.
I "Love" Pizza!
I "Love" chocolate!
I "Love" my shoes!
I "Love" my husband!
I "Love" my children!
Somehow, this over used word loses it's true meaning when we apply it to food and clothing.
So, since Love is an abstract word, it is hard to understand it's meaning sometimes.
The Bible has a wonderful description of Love in 1 Corinthians 13.
This chapter not only explains what love IS, it also says what LOVE isn't.
One of the stand out portions of this scripture is:
If I speak with the tongues of Men and Angels but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have prophetic powers, understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I AM NOTHING. If I give away all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned but have not love, I gain NOTHING.
Does this mean that I could actually sacrifice all that I have, and actually NOT love?
YES!
Love, is a verb YES, but it is NOT just giving everything up sacrificially with the "woe is me, look at all the sacrifices I am giving up for you!"
TRUE LOVE is patient and kind! KIND! Not resentful! True love does not envy or boast.
True love does not rejoice when something bad happens to somebody or in wrong doing, but rejoices in the truth.
TRUE LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS and it never, EVER ends!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
A Morning Cup of Feminine Joe
each day while chatting about various topics......
Earl Grey is my Favorite! What is yours?
Joseph's Birthday Today!
He taught me so much, just by being himself. :)
I really like this picture! LOL
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Our Beautiful Truman
He live EON's away! :(
BUT..... His Mommy Becca has emerged from early babyhood and is blogging again!
YEA!!!!!
You can visit her blog HERE! :)
I love all of my daughter's in law..... Becca is a VERY SWEET mama! She loves her sons so very much and you can see it in her blogging. She is an awesome photographer and is a wonderful wife to our son Joseph.
Glad to see you blogging again Becca!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
A Thought Provoking Quote by John Piper
"The Gospel is not a picture of adoption, adoption is a picture of the Gospel". .. john piper
Monday, February 7, 2011
Pain
Folks, we live in a fallen world.... and it hurts to see all the pain that surrounds us.
I pray that the Lord will surround these people with His LOVE and Compassion. I pray that He will heal their hearts, souls, wounds, diseases, and that He will open the hearts of those who oppose Him.
I pray that the Lord will bring peace in the midst of terrible storms. Comfort in the midst to trauma and loss. Peace and healing in dealing with disease, and Spiritual Wholeness and Life to all. I pray that the Lord will DIRECTLY INTERVENE in the cases of adoptions being held up by Evil.
I pray for continued Miracles.
My heart is broken and overwhelmed tonight......
Thank you Lord for allowing us to bear each other's burdens and hold each other in our prayers.
I give all of these to you...... YOU HOLD us ALL in your hands....your merciful, loving hands.
Please join me in prayer for all of these unspoken requests.
Thanks
Gluten Free Oatmeal Cookies
Oat Meal Cookies
1 cup of butter
1 1/4 cups white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar packed
2 TSP Vanilla extract
3 eggs
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
5 cups of Bob's Redmill Gluten Free Oatmeal
1 cup of Tapioca Flour
1 cup of raisins (optional)
1 cup of chocolate chips (optional)
(I like the taste of the raisins and chocolate together.)
Beat butter sugars eggs and Vanilla together until creamy
Add flour, soda, salt and oatmeal
Mix VERY well.
Preheat oven to 350º
line a pan with parchment paper
bake for about 8-10 minutes or until desired doneness
do not remove from parchment onto wire racks until slightly cooled
If you removed when they are too hot they will fall apart.
1 cup of butter
1 1/4 cups white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar packed
2 TSP Vanilla extract
3 eggs
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
5 cups of Bob's Redmill Gluten Free Oatmeal
1 cup of Tapioca Flour
1 cup of raisins (optional)
1 cup of chocolate chips (optional)
(I like the taste of the raisins and chocolate together.)
Beat butter sugars eggs and Vanilla together until creamy
Add flour, soda, salt and oatmeal
Mix VERY well.
Preheat oven to 350º
line a pan with parchment paper
bake for about 8-10 minutes or until desired doneness
do not remove from parchment onto wire racks until slightly cooled
If you removed when they are too hot they will fall apart.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
"Stylish Blogger Award"
A fellow bloggy world friend, Katie, whom I was able to meet late last year at the President's 5K in honor of Texas Scottish Rite Hospital, and fellow mommy to a precious daughter with Arthrogryposis.... btw- one of the cutest babies ever..... gave me this "Stylish Blogger Award"...... If anybody is in need of an spiritual Uplift, read Katie's blog! She is a huge blessing from the Lord. She has insight that many times just blesses me so very much!
Now, Stylish? LOL
I am the no makeup, sweat wearing, wearing my husband's sweat socks to keep warm kinda girl. LOL
BUT THANK YOU! It is very sweet to know others read. :)
Now, Stylish? LOL
I am the no makeup, sweat wearing, wearing my husband's sweat socks to keep warm kinda girl. LOL
BUT THANK YOU! It is very sweet to know others read. :)
Upon receiving this award, I am supposed to:
1) Thank, and link back to the person who awarded it.
2) Share 7 things about myself.
3) Award 10 great bloggers.
4) Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.
7 Things about myself:
1. I Love the Lord Jesus Christ and want to glorify Him in all I do.
I fail at that many times a day. But I know HE knows and picks me up and holds me in his Hands.
2. I have been a Mom since I was 20 years old. I still think it is an amazing, wonderful, thrilling, gift.....
3. I am a Ya-Ya, and there is great joy in Ya-Ya-hood. :)
4. One of the biggest pleasures in my life was teaching a group of 4th - 6th graders for a Wednesday Night Bible study. They were sort of the "reform class" like in Reform school.... and all the teachers would quit after a few weeks. I volunteered. These kids were in need of serious truth. So we started a simple verse by verse bible Study through the book of John and little lives were transformed in that class. I miss those kids. (they are all grown up now) :)
5. I waited all week to go outside so I wouldn't fall on the ice. I have this bad habit of falling on ice and it takes a while to get over. So I kept a really safe distance from the porch, or made sure the snow was heavy enough not to slip. And then, last night my daughter in law called. I went in my BEDROOM to talk to her, sat in the antique rocking chair and it BROKE, throwing me back.... I was so embarrassed that I didn't make a peep, but while we were talking, it took me about 5 minutes to get out of that mess.
And yes, today I am sore! UGH
6. I am actually an Introvert. For some reason that shocks people. :)
7.I still don't know how to wear my hair! (that's deep) LOL
Now, for 10 bloggers awards:
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Facing The Giants
Frankly, THIS movie is the REAL SUPER BOWL...... it was really good on many fronts.
Glad we watched it. :)
I think our Little Ukrainian is loving this snow!
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