More Snow

Is This Really Texas?????

We woke up to almost 8 inches of snow!  Last night they said, maybe an inch, possibly 3 inches. This is added to about 2 solid inches of ICE.  The entire city is shut down. Those who have dared to venture out are stuck in long lines of vehicles with road and bridge closures.

The SuperBowl activities have been hampered all week, not that it has effected us personally,

but I do feel for all the folks who came for the event. I feel especially for the small businesses that are losing out on all that revenue! Our business has been a ghost town all week.

Mike had to go out and get hay for the animals again to put in the shelters and he said it was pretty treacherous. I am REALLY glad I bought extra groceries on Monday just in case~!

The just in Case happened.

 Sarah fell yesterday while playing on the ice hill. But she said it was WAY worth it. :)

 This is as far as Erika goes! We promised to carry her out into the snow today for a little while.

 Time for a snow ball fight with daddy. :)  But right now, it is just pretty for a picture.

The baby cows next door are enjoying the snow.

We are LOVING IT! :)

Question Regarding The Proverbs Verses

A very nice person visited my blog here, and posed a question, which I think is a very fair question.
They asked about what my thoughts were on the Proverbs Vrs... particularly
Proverbs 23: 13-14 and Proverbs  22:15.

I am going to attempt to answer this the best I can, with how I believe the Lord has brought us to understand these most controversial of verses.  Please understand in my answering these directly, that I do not hold judgement or condemnation on those who think differently than I do, as I know very well the church in general and America in general holds to a very different view.  I also know personally, many family and friends who do things different than we do. 
I believe the Word of God to be inerrant in it's original form. I believe it is GOD breathed and is the word of GOD and take it very seriously.  With all respect and honor, I will attempt to rightfully divide the truth as best I can.  I am not a theologian, but a simple Berean.  I do not believe God's word is so complicated that you must have a degree to understand it, but I do believe the Holy Spirit  can lead us into all Truth.  Life is a process. Spiritual life is a process too. :)

With that said:

There are many things in scripture that are not "Literal" but maybe more "General" observation.  The book of Proverbs is full of observation, and thought, in a Poetic form, but that does not mean that we are supposed to take it Literally that it is something we should do.  There are also scriptures that ARE literal, that we do not adhere to today. I will explain later.

A few examples might be:
Proverbs 19:23-  The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.

However, a dear friend of mine, who's father was probably one of the most godly men I ever knew, WAS visited by harm. He was murdered in his little business that he had owned for 30 years.
So, I guess I cannot take that one literally.

Proberbs 20:30- Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts.
This particular scripture is not aimed at children but adults.  Do you believe that if you sin, you should have blows to your body to cleanse away your evil?  Do strokes to your body make your innermost parts clean?
 Or do you go to your Heavenly Father and ask for his forgiveness and HE makes you clean?


Proverbs 25:15- With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.
Can a soft tongue really break a bone?

Those are just a FEW verses off the top of my head.
There is NO QUESTION that the verses in which you refer are speaking about discipline. The question is: What is discipline?
He who does not discipline his son, HATES his son. This is  very true. But discipline does not mean punish, nor is it equal to punish.
Discipline comes from the word Disciple. To teach.

Proverbs 22:15-Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
   but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
In this verse, it appears that DISCIPLINE IS the ROD, and the word ROD is being used metaphorically.  So this verse could be read, Folly is bound up  in the heart of a child but Godly instruction will drive it far away.
Proverbs 23:13-14-  Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod he will not die. If you strike him with the rod you will save his soul from Sheol.

I do agree that we should NOT withhold discipline from our children. We should disciple them as is written in Numbers.  When you wake up, when you walk, when you eat, when you lay down..... teach your children the ways of the Lord.
It does say, if you strike him he will not die.  That is true, sometimes. Some kids die.  But does it mean we are supposed to strike our kids? How many times? 1? 2? 3? 20?
The word child in this verse is very interesting. It is Naar.  It means a young MAN between the ages of around 16-24.
Now, that puts a new spin on this verse. If you are talking about a foolish young person who is out of control,  such as the young man in Singapore in the 1990's who destroyed a bunch of cars in a car lot, and got in trouble with the police. The actual punishment was 2 lashes.  In his case, I could actually see a justice there.  He wasn't 2. He was 17.    But in our society, we consider a 17 year old untouchable! LOL  Why? Because a group of Christians, who have PSYCHOLOGY degrees say that children learn everything by the time they are 5 and are set in their ways and if you don't punish them for every infraction possible, they will turn into hellions and go to hell...AND... It isn't true, nor is it biblical.
The truth is: YOU CANNOT SAVE YOUR CHILD. Nobody can come to the Father unless the Spirit Draws them. We come to faith by hearing the word of GOD and by trusting in the Death and Resurreciton of Jesus Christ.   HE cleanses us from sin, not us.

Which brings up the verse Proverbs 22:6: "Train up a Child in the Way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."
This scripture has been so misused over the years to put parents in bondage and fear.
It puts the salvation of the children ONTO the parent.  The Jewish interpretation of this scripture is more like, "train them according to their bent", speaking of occupation and when they are older, they will have a job that they will keep.

It is GOD's Desire that none of us should perish.  He leads us to repentence through HIS kindness.
Romans 2:4.
There are 2 verses in the Entire New Testament that speak to child raising.
1. Ephesians 6:4
2. Collosians 3:21
Both of these verses say the same thing:
Father's do not Frustrate your children, and the other Father's do not provoke your children to anger.

There is much in scripture to help us in raising our children to serve the Lord, but from the very best I can see, leading them by example, as Christ was an example to the Disciples and ultimately all of us, seems to be a clear way we are supposed to behave towards our children.
Christ did not berate the disciples or beat them. He instructed them.

One thing that is interesting to me in regards to the old testament scriptures regarding the raising of children is the verses within the law.
What about the verse for STONING children?
Deuteronomy 21:18-21
by the way, the same word for child is used.

There are many verses in scripture that speak of things we do not adhere to today, including slavery, beating a slave,  cities of refuge for murderers,  if a woman was raped she was required to marry her rapist and stay married to him her entire life......!

It is funny, I personally believe that the scripture in 1 Corinthians 11 regarding a woman covering her head in public worship is a command for today, so I cover my head..... but many I know do not. :)

There are plenty of scriptures that tell us to not be in debt. Yet, most people carry a home mortage, if not more, including car payments and credit card payments.

It is interesting to me that the Church seems to by hyperfocused on the "ROD" verses in Proverbs.

I believe that the ROD, can be used both as a real term for a rod, and metaphorically.  It seems there are places where it is interchanged.  The Rod of Correction may not necessarily be a rod but a word.
They Rod and Thy Staff they comfort me..... Rods and Staffs are used to PROTECT sheep.  The Rod is actually used to beat of wolves and those who would HARM sheep.
I believe that Paul uses this term in 1 Corinthians 4:18-21 when he says, "Should I come to you with a Rod or with Love in a spirit of gentleness?"

Honestly, the things that bother me most, about the "spanking" issue, are not the person who sees their little one running in the parking lot and in a heat of panic gives them a swat on the tush..... in a rare moment of wanting to keep their child safe.
It is the books written that put parents in bondage. The "If you do this GOD's WAY, your kids will grow up to be angels, and be saved and if you don't do it exactly like we say, everybody is headed to hell in a handbasket and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!   What horrible burdens to put on parents.
There are books out there that give you information on what implement of destruction to use, how to use it, when to use it, if the child doesn't receive the punishment, do it again, and again, and again, and then you have cases as in the little girl from Liberia and her sister who were severely abused and one of them died! 
The parents in this case were following teachings they believed to be "biblical".
I have to say, that when one of our sons was 3, the book, "The Strong Willed Child" came out.
I remember reading it and thinking, HOLY COW, if I were to follow this advice with my strong willed child,  he'd die.  I got rid of the book.  I am so glad I did, and that the Lord gave me understanding of my son, not long after that, as I sought HIS wisdom and not the wisdom of a Christian Psychologist,
that my son needed my tender hearted guidance and not a fear based parenting style.  He is serving the Lord today and is a huge delight to my heart.

Parenting is serious business and how we parent IS important! VERY important.  But one of the scriptures that really sticks in my head the most is the warning in Matthew 18: 1-6.... That scripture to me is CLEAR!   If I couple that with the other scriptures about not causing little ones to be exasperated or driven to wrath,  I find myself looking to my Lord for honest and true direction for how to raise my children in a God honoring way and I am continually reminded of my own need for forgiveness for my own failures.

I do ask this for contemplation:  Why do we hold our children to law, yet desire mercy from God for our own sin?  Why do we not lead our children to a life of repentence through grace and mercy given to all who believe? Why do we think we should make our children pay for sin, yet we do things every single day, that were it not for the mercy of God in our lives, we would be condemned?

Micah 6:8-  He has shown thee, Oh Man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you!
But to do justly, and to love mercy and to walk Humbly with your God.

Thanks for visiting my blog and asking! :)

Playing in the Ice

Here are Anna and Sarah playing in the ice and sleet!  If the camera was shaking it is because it is COLD!!!!!!!!  (about 25 degrees)  It has been in the teens most of the day.  And we are expecting more snow overnight.

Poor Erika cannot go out there in this stuff. She is resigned to observe.  I told her a head injury or trip to the hospital is just not worth it.  There is NO WAY she could balance on this stuff, and I cannot carry her. We'd both wind up in the hospital. :)

Happy Birthday To My Mike

I am married to an amazing man, who happens to be an amazing DAD!
Happy Birthday to My Mike! Our Daddy! My Love!

A REAL conversation part 2

I wrote about our dilemma here.

And now, I want to write about what came from it.

Sarah said she actually really enjoys taking care of the chickens, but sometimes she get distracted with other things. She said she knows she needs to try harder to get her chicken work done before she does anything else.

So we have agreed that a.m. is best for getting coop work done, and then eggs need to be brought in 2 x's a day. Early and later when she puts the chickens away.

She also  agreed that she had much room to improve in listening and responding.
We gave each other big hugs, and she is back to her normal self and I'm back to mine.
We both apologized.

I learned that I need to trust the Lord with every situation and not get to frustrated during the learning process.  It takes a long time to teach children to do things  in a manner that is beyond  kid approved. :)
I also remembered that HOW I present something can make all the difference in its reception.

I know this to be true,  and yet there are days when I become slothful in my parenting.
The funny thing is:   Slothful leads to more work in the end because you have to correct things. :)

Respond don't react!  RESPOND don't REACT!
A soft answer turns away wrath!
I was thinking about the hymn:
Softly and Tenderly

Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling, 
 calling for you and for me; 
 see, on the portals he's waiting and watching, 
 watching for you and for me. 
Refrain:
 Come home, come home; 
 ye who are weary come home; 
 earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling, 
 calling, O sinner, come home! 

2. Why should we tary when Jesus is pleading, 
 pleading for you and for me? 
 Why should we linger and heed not his mercies, 
 mercies for you and for me? 
 (Refrain) 

3. Time is now fleeting, the moments are passing, 
 passing from you and from me; 
 shadows are gathering, deathbeds are coming, 
 coming for you and for me. 
 (Refrain) 

4. O for the wonderful love he has promised, 
 promised for you and for me! 
 Though we have sinned, he has mercy and pardon, 
 pardon for you and for me

I am mostly familiar with the first and fourth verses of this song.... but it gave me

time to think about How God Deals with His children, softly and tenderly, 

with great mercy and pardon.
 
Why should we be any different...? 

A REAL Conversation

 An alternative title could have been: Salvaging a BCLC moment. :)  When a mom blows it!

As much of the nation is cold, so is Texas.  In fact, it is about 18 degrees outside.  Everything is frozen.
We knew it was coming, and I asked the girls to make sure the animal's bedding was changed, their sleeping areas clean, and to get prepared for a long week.
Anna takes care of the goats. Sarah takes care of the chickens.

We have had some difficulty with understanding the importance of doing things right and timely, AND how important it is for the chickens and eggs.  I SHOULD have checked on Sarah's work as she is still not fully understanding her job .

Sarah doesn't care for taking care of the chickens, but it is her job right now.  So, while the weather was in the 70's, I requested the above get done, so that all would be warm and secure.

Well, today, after she went out to fetch the eggs, several were FROZEN and cracked, meaning she didn't pick them up yesterday, and they had poop on them, meaning the bedding wasn't clean.

I had also told her this a.m. to be sure to open just the little door so the chickens could go in and out, but wouldn't get too cold.

SO.... I went out to investigate. I found that the coop had not been cleaned as requested. I found that the bedding was not fresh, just a little on the floor.  I was not happy.  I WAS NOT HAPPY!
And I was especailly NOT HAPPY that the chickens had been let out and both doors were closed so they couldn't get back in!
Now I was MAD!

So, I took care of the immediate problem so the chickens had enough warmth, and then worked my way back in the house .  It is very icy outside and dangerous to walk around.  I don't want her out there carrying arm loads of hay, so I did it.

When I came in I asked to talk with her. I let her know I was not pleased that she didn't do what she was supposed to, and said, there is no new hay in the coop, the eggs were not picked up, the chickens are locked out and the coop has not been cleaned! WHY?
Her instant reaction was anger.  She tried to defend herself. "I DID put hay in the coop!"  Then me:
"There is NO WAY you put hay in the coop!"  and her countenance fell.  I could see this was not going to be good, and honestly, I came in the house, freezing, glasses fogged up, covered in hay, and probably looked rather foreboding. :)

 Actually, I look abit like a terrorist! LOL

So, what do I do?  I say, "NO COMPUTER!"  duh... like that had anything to do with anything.


I shot up a quick prayer and took a deep breath. And the scripture in Proverbs popped into my mind:
"A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath".....
I had not been tender or soft in my delivery.

And then, I asked Sarah to write down what happened and how she saw things.  The following is our correspondence, word for word. (we wrote notes to each other)

Sarah:
First, I don't like eggs! (this is what I really think)
And I think I should be able to write this.  I don't think it is fair that you don't let me talk.
And I'm sure you don't care, like you said yesterday. Now yesterday I got hay! NOT a HANDFUL!
I didn't clean the poop because I didn't want to. I'm sorry, I'm not taking care of the chickens right.
Maybe someone else should do it.
Love,
Mad Sarah
P.S.-  I really did put hay in there, but you won't believe me! PLUS: I opened the big door (I didn't put in in the hook because I was oing to open the small door and close the big door, BUT I FORGOT!) ugg!!!!!
P.S.S.- I'm glad I wrote this on paper, because I would have been to scared to say this.

Me:
I'm glad you wrote it too. :)
I don't want you to be scared, but I DO want you to be respectful. When you interrupt and huff and cross your arms, and act mad when I am speaking, that makes me feel MAD!
I am sorry I raised my voice at you, BUT....
I am not sorry to point out where correction is needed.
1. We need to pray for a heart change.
2. You need to take responsibility for what you have been given.
3. Eggs are a good thing. They are used in many things you like, including cheese cake and cookies!
4. Responsibility is not about liking or not liking eggs. I don't like laundry. :)
5. Can we talk now? :)

Sarah:
I'd like hot chocolate. (You don't have to get it)
I'm shakey, but not cold. Well, you were saying all these things that weren't true.
I'm sure you would get mad if a person was saying all these untrue things about you.
Can I pray in my heart? If I pray out loud, I don't think I'd really mean it. I would smile if we
talked right now and you'd probably give me a look.
P.S.- I DON'T WANT TO DO SCHOOL! WHAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Me:
I don't mind if you smile, You do that when you are upset, I know that.
What did I say that was untrue?

Sarah:
That I put a handful of hay in teh coop. I didn't. Then you said I didn't forget, I did!
P.S.- Thanks for the hot chocolate. What do you want to talk about?

Me:
What we are talking about now, and other stuff.
How much Hay did you put in?

Sarah:
Uhh Ohh! What other stuff? I put in an armful.

Me:
Your armful is my handful.
Responsibility nad being respectful to each other.

Sarah:
No, the chicken move it around with their feet to look for food and I'm sure the wind blows the hay too! Uh oh again!

Me:
Are you saying you don't want to talk to me? WAAAHHHH! :)

Sarah:
No, but maybe I don't want to talk about R and R.

Me:
She says disrespectfully.

Sarah:
LOL! :)


 I appreciate Sarah's honesty. I appreciate when she gets calm, she can receive the instruction that she so needed today.  I also appreciate that she let me see where I had done some things wrong too.

And then, we drank our hot cocoa and talked. Really talked. :)
And then we came up with a solution.
And yes, she is still responsible for chickens, and yes I apologized for not listening better and she apologized for not doing her job.
And yes, she cannot do computer until chores are done properly first.
And yes, I do have this look..... glasses down, over the nose..... all 7 of them are used to seeing "the look". :)

I love my Sarah..... we are both back to norm, and she has a new outlook on taking care of the chickens and being responsible.  She understands that making excuses does not work..... if something isn't done, it isn't done, and if she needs help, she can ask.

I reinforced what I already in my heart know to be true.  How I handle something can make things go very simply, or complicate them.  Instead of dealing head on with the issue, in a tender and gentle way, I bulldozed through it.... that is never a good idea. I know I respond much better to loving instruction than accusation without complete fact.  duh

Brought to you today by Mama and Sarah!
signing off! :)

Miscellaneous Parenting Stuff and Stories that Don't Make Sense.

(I changed the title)

Here are a few things that have crossed my mind lately that I have wanted to blog about, but haven't had the real time to put into them.

Several weeks ago I was reminded of the Lamb Story.  This is a really good example of why TRUTH is so important, and accurate teaching is vital to parents.
THE FAMOUS BROKEN LAMB LEG STORY:
1. The Famous Story I grew up with about the Shepherd and the Sheep..... and that sweet, SWEET picture of Jesus holding the little sheep that I just love......  The story goes, that Jesus is holding the little lamb because it ran away and he had to use his staff to BREAK IT'S LEG because that was the loving thing to do and now, he holds it till the leg heals and then the sheep will never wander off again......

I believed that story.   And then, as I was trying to find confirmation that it was true, I could only come up with more reasons as to why it ISN'T true.  Most of the info I found said the origin was unknown, and I found a poem by an author Unknown...... and then I got to thinking about it.....

So here is this shepherd out in his field with dozens of little lambs running about..... and BELIEVE ME, they do run off when given opportunity!  They run here and there and if a Shepherd were to use his STAFF to BREAK their LEG, how in the WORLD would he be able to do his job carrying all those baby sheep! LOL  The picture in my mind really made me chuckle.  He wouldn't.

 This is about all a Shepherd can hold... and then he'd have to leave his rod and staff to hold broken legged  lambs!

Thy Rod and Thy Staff they COMFORT me makes total sense.  Breaking little lambs legs doesn't.

As a person who has raised sheep AND goats, the only thing you could do for a sheep or lamb with a broken leg is to put it down. They are prone to infection, and would never be able to escape danger after having a leg broken.

I'm sure glad God doesn't put his sheep down, when we wander into sin.  He lovingly brings us close.
We do not FEAR our heavenly father.  Those who should FEAR Him, are those who would seek to take a little one away FROM him.  He PROTECTS His Sheep.  Sheep should rightfully fear those who wish them harm.
Scripture DOES warn sheep not to wander... and also says, "All we like sheep have gone astray".....but the Loving hand of the Shepherd, keeps those who are His,  close and safe.

QUESTIONS ABOUT PUNISHMENT:
2.  So, if somebody says,  "If you don't punish your children, you aren't disciplining them."
Discipline is DISCIPLESHIP...... Jesus DISCIPLIED the DISCIPLES, whom he called His Children.
I see in scripture where he corrected them and taught them.  He didn't beat them.

CONSISTENCY IN PUNISHMENT:
3. Every time my child does something wrong, I MUST PUNISH them or they are getting away with it."
Hog wash. Where is THAT is scripture?  Where does scripture say to PUNISH a Child each and every time they do something wrong?
What it DOES say, is if you do not Discipline your child, you hate your child. I TOTALLY AGREE with this.  Discipline=Disciple, come along side, teach, instruct, guide.

What if, as an employee, your boss yelled and screamed and berated every single mistake you made in your job.  Or, if they had a whip and they kindly came over to you every time you didn't do what they expected, known or unknown and lashed you and demanded that you be still and not move or they'd start again, AND if you didn't say "why thank you for that", they'd start again...... Not only would you not tolerate it, you'd most likely quit and press charges.  Sometimes, that is what kids do.
They quit; they give up.  How sad.

FIRST TIME OBEDIENCE 100% OF THE TIME:
4. First time obedience, every time, or it isn't obedience.
I disagree.   We are human.... there is no such thing as perfection in the flesh.  First time obedience may  POSSIBLY be achieved in FEAR, or out of FEAR, but there is something inside going on that eventually will come out.... and it won't be good.
I DO believe our children should be obedient and respectful.  Just like I should be a perfect parent.
But, I'm not, and they aren't. AND THAT is where mercy and grace come in.
If we don't MODEL and LIVE mercy and grace to our children, they will learn to be great little law abiding pharisees.
I believe scripture refers to "white washed sepulchres full of dead men's bones".
But to this I will add: MOST of the time, we do have first time obedience, WITH cheerful hearts.
There are times when we don't, and it is dealt with.....but I must ask myself first:
1. Have I been fair?
2. Is this an off day?
3. What is going on underneath, is it a fear issue, a sin issue?
4. What can I do next time to cause a different result?

I'M NOT GETTING ANY RESULTS:
5.   "I am 100% CONSISTENT in Discipline, but I'm Not getting Any Results!"
Isn't that the definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting
something different to happen? LOL   Sounds like the need for a big paradigm shift.

My conclusion:

I am one who does not like Chaos.  I like order and living orderly.  I like a peaceful home.
I love my husband as he is the same way.  He doesn't like chaos either.  Can you achieve a peaceful and happy home without spanking, punishing or threatening your children?  Can you have obedient children who like to obey MOST of the time?  Is your home filled with peaceful and joyful living without spanking?

YES. :) YES. :)  and YES!

And all of our baby lambs will remain intact with no broken legs. Thank You. :)

Zoo Trip 2011

Yep, we went to the zoo again! Today we brought 2 guests; Jana and Marion.  We had a blast. It was everybody else's idea in the Dallas area to go to the zoo too! I guess the 76 degree weather, with sunny skys made the decision!
Today, our high light was watching a VERY large snake eat a VERY LARGE Rabbit! It took about 3o minutes from beginning to end.   Wow! That was an amazing thing to watch.  I am really thankful that we have such a nice zoo.  The Dallas zoo has improved so much over the years.

Their new Wilds of Africa Exhibit is so cool! Today the giraffes were so fun to see. We even got to feed them! Jana let out an EWWWWEEEEE!!!! when one of them licked her shirt. LOL

That is me feeding a giraffe. They really are gentle creatures.

 

This picture isn't that clear, but this is a VERY large Python eating a rabbit!

It was really cool to watch. Unfortunately, I THOUGHT I had my video going

but I didn't. It was all blank.   However, being so close to something so large

eating that rabbit was amazing.   The last 2 trips to the zoo have been great when looking at snakes.

In over 20 years, we have only seen them move the last 2 times we were there, and this time both large Pythons were feeding.  WOW!

Anna took this picture.... I like how this guy is staring right at her! :)

The Girlies and Compassion

Tonight, Sarah and I watched this video about a dog who is wearing a prosthetic paw.  Sarah's response was, "Oh, poor dog, what happened to him?"  "Oh poor thing!"

I have seen Erika at the hospital when we are there for a visit do the same thing.  "Oh poor child!"
One time, she was sitting there with NO FEET recooperating from surgery and saw a little child with CP walking with a limp and was full of sympathy.

It is really sweet that neither of them think this about themselves. They don't think to themselves, "poor me"; in fact, they work hard to overcome their differences and do what everybody else does.... so it is humorous to me when I see their reactions to something like this.

Sarah and Math

The problem:

Draw two parrallel line segments horizontal to each other.
Make one line segment shorter than the other.
Connect the endpoints of the segments to form a quadrilateral.
What kind of quadrilateral did you draw?

Sarah's answer:  A Trappazipple.    

Hmmmm.
Should I give her 1/2 credit? LOL

Watching History

Yesterday and Today we watched "The Diary of Anne Frank".
It is a movie based upon the true story of Anne Frank.
The girlies watched with great interest...... there was secrecy and mystery and fear and love.....

 The Diary of Anne Frank starts with a 13 year old girl in hiding in Amsterdam.  It is about her time of hiding.
Obviously there was a love story involved.......  Sarah is such a hopeless romantic!

I'm really glad we watched this.  It was an amazing movie about real life events.

Something Different

Today we will be joining another family to do oral reports and show off our talented art work. :)
This exercise will cover Speech, History and Art.  AND, it is FUN!

God's Provision

Many years ago, our son Marcus prayed for a piano so he could learn to play.  The next day, we got a call from Mike's dad who had no idea that his grandson was praying for a piano. He lived in another state.  He called and said, "Hey, do you want a piano? This piano has been sitting here for years, and I'll drive it down and deliver it right to you!"  WOW! What an answer to prayer!  Marcus DID learn to play that piano beautifully, and it went away with him when he married. It was his own personal answer to a very sweet prayer.

Then came the girls...... Now that they are a little older, interests are changing, and music has been on everybody's mind. They have a guitar, and I even bought a violin for ME, to see if I could relearn some old bad habits. LOL  (it was a great buy on Ebay)

Last night, Mike and I were talking about wishing we had a piano once again, even a little practice piano so the girls could learn, and we could have music in the house once again that didn't squeak! (my violin playing can make one cry)
We both looked at each other and said, "God will provide, if He wants us to have one!"  We didn't even have a chance to pray about it!

Today, one of our customers drove up and knocked on the door.  In the back of his truck was a practice piano, with bench and music!  I couldn't believe it!  He just said, "We want you to have this!" LOL

It is amazing how the Lord works in our lives and helps our faith to grow. :)
So, here it is!

I can't wait to hear Bach's Invention 8 once again!

Somebody's Growing Up!

One of our sweeties is growing up right before our eyes!  She has been a cat lover since we met her at nearly 5 years old.  She even learned how to purr, and would meow to us all the time.

There were moments when I wondered, "Would she REALLY NOT go to college purring?"

That is what I told myself. :) Just like I promised myself Joe would not go to college in diapers.

 Well, It has happened. Apparently Brad Paisley has won out over cats! The cat decorations came down and we have been serenated to Brad Paisley songs, only the good ones of course, for about a week now.  The room walls have been redecorated and I do believe we have entered a new stage in our sweeties life.

 Hmmm. I wonder who it could be? :)  Just in case you were wondering:


Our sweet Anna girl! :)

And just in case you were wondering:

Our sweet Joe DID go to college without his diapers. :)

Sarah and Her Daddy

Sarah woke up this a.m. with the adoring smile and admiration of her favorite man. Her daddy. :)

She is going through such a sweet stage.... She is still a little girl and yet becoming a mature lady too.

Her best friend gave her a diary with a voice controlled password.  She was sitting in the living room repeating her name into the speaker to get that diary opened to no avail.  Daddy rescued that situation by taking out the batteries to reset the code.  She just beamed at him and said, "Oh Daddy! You are the Best!

I think he liked that. :)

Funny Things You Never Expect To Have a Discussion About

Erika and I were in the prosthetist's office EARLY on Friday morning for her fitting.

She has begun to outgrow her legs, and before that happens, they start a new pair so she won't go without. One time,  we waited too long and she wound up not having feet for a few months!

So, as we were sitting there waiting to see the doctor, the therapist, the prosthetist and everybody else that comes to see us every time we go,  and after she had put on her shorts..... we had a discussion about what her new legs would look like. 

In all honesty, I was not pleased that she had picked playing cards and money to adorn her last pair of legs.  I was especially not pleased with them on Christmas Sunday morning, as they just didn't seem to go with her dress. LOL

So here we are, mother and daughter, sitting in a small room for what seemed like hours and we were talking about TATTOOS!  We were talking about what would adorn her legs next and her comment was, "Well mom, you know I don't like wearing dresses anyway, so if I didn't have to wear a dress, nobody would have noticed my playing cards and money. LOLSo then I say, but Erika, I really think you need to be prepared for Shorts and warmer weather, and really, we should be careful about what we want to portray on our legs..... and then I say, "If these weren't prosthetics, we wouldn't even be having this discussion! 

Sometimes it is hard, when there is STRONG influence to let the kids pick things that normally wouldn't be appropriate..... I think when they are littler, a butterfly or horse or princess is fine..... but now that they are older, I think we need to tone it down.

As we were driving home it kind of cracked me up that we were even having such a conversation.  If you had talked to me 10 years ago I wouldn't have understood anything about the world of prosthetics.

It is amazing how life changes.

Sarah has already agreed that she probably won't get anything put on her next set of legs.  I am hoping Erika feels the same way soon, even if she doesn't wear a dress. :) 

BUT.... I have put my foot down on the money and cards. ........that won't happen again.

Michelangelo

Each of the girls picked a person to study this week.  Erika picked Michelangelo.

I thought she did a pretty good job at her recreation of "Creation of Man" by Michelangelo.

The Confusion of Beyond Consequences Logic and Control Part 2

I was talking with somebody the other day, and over the last few months, more than one person.... about BCLC and how it works.  There are so many mis understandings about it, and I think maybe clarifying would be very helpful for those trying to put it into practice.

I wrote part one here:

BCLC is not really a program. It is a paradigm shift in thinking.  Instead of ASSUMING that all behaviors that are negative are stemming from rebellion, manipulation, and trying to get at you,
we consider that the child 1. Is not scheming to get at all your buttons. 2. Is in Protection Mode
3. Is operating from what is called Fright and Flight mode..... (they aren't thinking rationally)

Children with trauma backgrounds DO HEAL, CAN HEAL and WILL HEAL..... but if they are looked at in such negative ways as everything is either of cold calculation or manipulation or defiance and rebellion, AND, they are confused by those labels.... meaning, they don't understand why somebody would say such a thing about them, and they are hurt by those words..... the opportunity to heal is slim.

If instead, the child is accepted WHERE THEY ARE, and then brought into a place of firm and loving acceptance, only then can they be guided to a safe place of vulnerability to really heal.
External obedience based upon fear is not healing. It is delayed rage.  But when a child feels SAFE, safe to talk, safe to feel, safe to say what is on their heart, even if those words are hard to hear; only then, can real, life long instruction that will STICK and cause PERMANENT change take place.

Will they be perfect little human beings? No. As, I am not a perfect mama, and am full of imperfections, they will always be human. :)
But, if I don't hold my buttons out to be pushed, they can't push them.  If I am stronger, and the grown up,  and the immovable loving force, that takes them by the hand and REDIRECTS them into a place of love and calm, they will want to stay there, eventually.

For the child who is used to a storm, loving calm can feel REALLY weird and scary. Yes, scary.
They will do everything in their power to stay within the familiar, because it "seems safe".  It is familiar, and when everything else is unfamiliar, and uncharted territory, a good old fashioned storm seems safe in a warped sort of way.

Have you ever met an adult who seems to thrive on Chaos?  Apparently there are alot of them out there, otherwise soap operas wouldn't be so popular.

So, for clarification's sake:  BCLC is not a "coddle fest".  It is not an, "Oh, Suzie, you just tried to burn the house down, I know you are scared, let's go rock in the chair".  LOL

BCLC is instructive and waits instead of tying to accomplish everything in the "heat of the moment".
A child who is out of control cannot learn OR listen when they are in that mode.  Finding the best way to get them calm and quick is the beginning.  NOT the end.
If it is rocking, great. If it is sitting quietly next to them great.  If they are a teenager and they stomp off to their room to self regulate, great.  (don't go storming in) WAIT.
They will not cease to exist in the next 10 minutes or hour.

When things are calm and settled, reaffirm your love. Then, talk to them about better ways to handle things.  Ask THEM, "How do you think you could handle that better?"  "What can mom and dad do to help you?"  You may be surprised by their answers.
Sometimes you might get an "I don't know" and sometimes you might get an ear full. :)
BCLC is gentle shepherd parenting and instruction in righteousness, and right living, without brow
beating and judging every motive.
IS IT POSSIBLE you are dealing with rebellion? Yes it is.  But the instruction doesn't change.
We are ALL rebellious in our hearts towards God.  Yet, God tenderly calls us to come to him and rest.

As you instruct and pray with your child, bringing into the fabric of their lives the word of God,  instruction for life,  talking about past, present and future...... be encouraged that LASTING CHANGE will take place.
Will you go backwards sometimes?  Yes..... but then, you will quickly move forwards too.

We had this experience last week.... and I have to say,  the forwards has not just been 3 steps but about 10.  I am even a little shocked. :)

I think one of the things that helps me understand BCLC the most, is the bible.  God tenderly deals with us. He woo's us, he instructs us, his mercies are new every morning. He is GREAT in Mercy and Grace, not wanting anybody to perish.  He loves us with an everlasting love. The best model I can think of is Jesus himself with the disciples.  He was the gentle shepherd who instructed and taught and taught and instructed, and when Peter said something like, "I'll die for you!"  He said, actually Peter, you are going to deny me, but don't worry..... I am praying for you.... I love you. It will be ok.

Wow. This is our example.  Sometimes we have our kids written off before they are 3.  I know I have said this before.... but one of our sons, had we considered everything he did as negative rebellion and punished him constantly, we wouldn't have the son we have today. I am convinced he could have become a self fulfilling prophecy...... But instead, he is a loving and happy husband and father and a very loving son.

Behaviors are simply gauges to watch, and when they are in the red area, we work to bring them back into compliance and get them to stay there on their own. :)
For some it is much harder work than for others..... but BCLC teaches SELF CONTROL not external control that will blow up later.
It may take a little more time, but once things are set in place, it is pure joy.

Three Steps Forward Two Steps Back Three Steps Forward

On Saturday, we had a bit of a bummer of a day..... I posted about it here.  We all had a good night's sleep, and in the morning, everything was new. EVERYTHING.... attitudes were better, back to normal and actually improved!  Yea!

So we had wonderful day enjoying the Lord, enjoying each other and even had a pot luck.  That was really special since we missed the one on Saturday.   I went ahead and brought roasted beets and the girls were thrilled.

We all settled in last night and enjoyed a documentary on Cougars, and daddy went to the Nursing home to do a bible study with the ladies.  I got the girls off to bed and just enjoyed  some more quiet time. :)

Then, in the morning, I began thinking about the book I read..... "Three Little Words"..... one of the things the little girl wrote about was how, no matter how hard things had been the night before, every morning was a new day, and a fresh start.

That is EXACTLY how I feel each morning, even if the day before has not been the best. I want to present to the girls that God's mercies are new every morning, and every morning is the beginning of a new and wonderful day.
When Anna woke up,  we talked a little about school and a few changes I was going to make to help them improve in a few areas. That is my job...... I let her know ahead of time because she really does not like change.  I showed her carefully how her day would work, and that the new thing we were adding would not take up any more time, we are just cutting back a little on something else.

She looked at me and sincerely asked, "Have you noticed how hard I'm trying?"  I said, I SURE HAVE! And she had a big grin and gave me the most genuine hug.  She said, "Mom I love you!"
I told her the same..... and then I sat back and thought, wow! We have REALLY moved forward!
LOL

Typically news of a change would not have gone over so well at all...... she would have complied but it would have been more reluctant, and then after a couple of days she might admit she actually liked it..... but today was a NEW ANNA....  good for her!
Love that kid. :)

Erika and Sarah asked some good questions about what would be expected with the new assignments and they were ALL very happy that Laura Ingalls Wilder used some of the very same books they are using. :)

So, we are off to a great start of a great 2nd semester.......and no, we didn't take a snow day. :)