The Minich Family Blog: Every Family Has A Story...Welcome To Ours
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Does God Heal Us?
YES HE DOES!!!!!
My sweeties are the perfect pictures of God's work in Healing! :)
Monday, August 12, 2013
Shot Day!
Today was errand running day including going to the Health Department to get shots.
Alli had to get 4, Sarah 2 and Anna 1. Erika is done until college...
Now, they are ALL done until college! Yea!
We drove down the street and dropped off the new records at the Dr's. office and payed for our after hours phone call from Alli's medical incident last month. (He charges 15 dollars for an after hours consultation)
Then we headed to the high school to drop off Anna's shot record update and to make sure she was placed in Pre AP biology.
It has been one of those paper work days, and it isn't over! I just payed the deductible for Alli's hospital visit, and had to call and request an itemized bill, and now I'm filling out paperwork for the Medical Share program we are a part of, and the accident incident program we are a part of.
If I finish all this, I might be able to get ready for our upcoming School day on Thursday!!!!
For now.... I'm exhausted!
Alli had to get 4, Sarah 2 and Anna 1. Erika is done until college...
Now, they are ALL done until college! Yea!
We drove down the street and dropped off the new records at the Dr's. office and payed for our after hours phone call from Alli's medical incident last month. (He charges 15 dollars for an after hours consultation)
Then we headed to the high school to drop off Anna's shot record update and to make sure she was placed in Pre AP biology.
It has been one of those paper work days, and it isn't over! I just payed the deductible for Alli's hospital visit, and had to call and request an itemized bill, and now I'm filling out paperwork for the Medical Share program we are a part of, and the accident incident program we are a part of.
If I finish all this, I might be able to get ready for our upcoming School day on Thursday!!!!
For now.... I'm exhausted!
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Adoption Disruption and Thoughts I Can't Express part 4.
I was going to title this: "The Anatomy of Disruption"..... but just decided to label it part 4.
I have written 3 other posts on Adoption Disruption. Here, Here and Here. And then one more here.And yet another one here.. And then here. There are more.... but those are the main ones. :)
So, here I go with another disruption post... WHY? Because I guess I haven't covered all my thoughts on this very difficult topic .
Since I wrote those other posts, we have adopted again from Adoption Dissolution/Disruption.
Miss Alli came home almost 2 1/2 years ago.
Since that time, we have been through a lot with our sweet girl. The most recent, was the reuniting with her sister Tatyana. She has not yet reunited with her brother who is still in the first adoptive home.
Aren't they just beautiful together? :)
Tatyana is now on her own, so we could reunite.
I would like to visit this from the perspective of the child, and how things unraveled into a huge mess, but with a happy ending.
Let me start with the premise that I believe is most important. God is in control. It doesn't matter how I feel, or how I perceive things, He is in control. He chooses to allow things to happen that I do not understand, but I trust Him, that His purposes are always for our good.
I have had discussions with Alli's older sister and Alli, separately, to gain some perspective for writing this. Earlier today, for clarification, I asked Tatyana about Alli's behaviors back when she was a little girl in Russia, and then when she came home to America.
Tatyana has emphasized that all Alli's behaviors were typical kid type behaviors. She didn't feel that anything warranted what happened to her sister.
I asked Alli, "Do you remember how you behaved in Russia compared to America?" Her answer corroborated her sisters. She was a typical little girl in a very bad situation.
She was also picked for her good behavior in the orphanage to go to the store and go on a trip to the Black Sea, and to do something special at Christmas.
In watching the video given to us the the children's interview, Alli was typically nervous being recorded but said she liked Pink, and Barbies.
She was adorable.
What Alli DID say, was that she was very afraid to come to America. "I didn't want to leave my mommy."
That broke my heart.
Her mommy didn't have custody of her, but she still felt a connection with her.
Of COURSE she did! All kids love their mothers!
But she agreed to come, because she didn't want to lose her brother and sister.
And that is PRECISELY what happened to her!
Her biggest fear, came true. :(
Alli went through a time of shock, having 2 new parents that she couldn't relate to or communicate with, and a new brother who was younger than her. This was not their fault or her fault.
She was forbidden from speaking Russian to her siblings, which was her only form of communication.
And, she lost it.
She cried and had melt downs.
As time went on, things got more and more out of control. She didn't understand what was being required of her, and didn't get why they were so mad at her.
This was a hard time for all of them. And I am sure many of us could see themselves there.
Please remember that when a child is learning English... they may speak it LONG before they comprehend it! Misunderstanding RULES!
She was afraid of the family and didn't trust them. They were afraid of her and didn't trust her. She was angry.
Since she felt she could do nothing to please her family, she gave up trying.
She began to talk back and had decided in her mind that she was apart from them.
I can picture the "talking back".... it happend here too!
Things spiraled out of control and she wound up going into respite care where she did quite well.
At the end of her stay in respite care, she was told it was time for her to go back home. Her statement was "I'd rather die than go back to those people," which landed her in a Unit for evaluation, and then she was disrupted.
She called her home to communicate with her brother and sister, but was told they didn't want anything to do with her. She was devastated.
A disruption occurred.
Her second adoption didn't go so well either. And by then, she really just didn't care.
She decided she would rule her own life, and acted out whenever she felt like it.
She had begun to form a habit of unwanted behaviors to hide the pain she was in.
Then came us..... She wanted to try, she really did, but the fear of failure and self judgment ruled her heart and she was full of shame.
She would try, and then give up, try and then give up. It was a cycle of shame, sadness, anxiety, and then hope once again. It was HARD for all of us!
As Alli began to help us unravel her past, and opened up more and more to us, her window of trust and tolerance began to open wide, and she began to drop her old bad habits of unwanted behaviors she had clothed herself with.
She began to let go of the grip of fear that consumed her and began to trust once again.
But, as encouraged as we were, we knew we had a long road ahead of us, because when somebody allows themselves to go into reckless abandon behavior wise, it can be easier the next time, and next time, and there is so much disconnect. It becomes a habit ; and habits are hard to break!
Today, Alli loves and trusts us. In fact, during our talk, she said that she is glad she came to America, and she is happy that she is home with us.
And she very much feels "At Home!"
I was able to tell her how much I love being her mom. :)
So why am I writing this? I am writing it because it is so wearying seeing adoptions fail. :(
Adoptive parents NEED to be prepared for the adjustment phase of children coming to America or just into a new family.
The grief process is huge. We need to educate ourselves about what grief looks like and how we can help our children loving them through it, not judging them through it.
PARENTING METHODS MATTER HUGELY!They matter, especially, for a child who comes from a Trauma Background!
While Alli came from a background of trauma inflicted upon her in Russia, there was even more trauma forced upon her by her previous families and she couldn't handle it.
She went from feeling safe in the orphanage, to being terribly frightened and alone in America.
Feeling safe in an orphanage should say alot about what her home life in Russia, was like!
Parents, do all you can to educate yourselves on Trauma. LEARN HOW TO PARENT FROM A PLACE OF SAFETY AND LOVE!!!! STAY AWAY FROM FEAR BASED PARENTING!
And for heaven's sakes, stay AWAY from groups that call themselves "support groups" when they are really more like "misery loves company" groups.
I am so thankful for our sweetie's healing in her heart. SO THANKFUL!
But I am also thankful for the process we have all gone through over the last 2 and a half years. I have learned a LOT! :)
Parents, Never stop learning! Parenting is an art form that takes practice and effort! If we cease learning.... we lose, and it can be the difference between a greatly successful bringing of a family together, a cold existence living under the same roof, but not really being family, or a traumatic disruption that has profound effects on everybody. :(
This is my last post on disruption.
This post was meant to help folks to see disruption from the Child's perspective.
My daughter is healing. She is awesome and she is strong. She is real!
There is NO DOUBT that there are situations where disruption is necessary. I do not fault parents who find themselves in sad predicaments and do end adoptions.
My goal is not to fault anybody. Please do not personalize what I write.
It isn't about you!
My goal is to let adoptive parents know there is HOPE and there is HELP!
BUT..... we must be willing to be introspective and see where we must change.
I have had to change a LOT of things in my life, in the views I once held and more.
It has been a good and LONG journey.
I have written 3 other posts on Adoption Disruption. Here, Here and Here. And then one more here.And yet another one here.. And then here. There are more.... but those are the main ones. :)
So, here I go with another disruption post... WHY? Because I guess I haven't covered all my thoughts on this very difficult topic .
Since I wrote those other posts, we have adopted again from Adoption Dissolution/Disruption.
Miss Alli came home almost 2 1/2 years ago.
Since that time, we have been through a lot with our sweet girl. The most recent, was the reuniting with her sister Tatyana. She has not yet reunited with her brother who is still in the first adoptive home.
Aren't they just beautiful together? :)
Tatyana is now on her own, so we could reunite.
I would like to visit this from the perspective of the child, and how things unraveled into a huge mess, but with a happy ending.
Let me start with the premise that I believe is most important. God is in control. It doesn't matter how I feel, or how I perceive things, He is in control. He chooses to allow things to happen that I do not understand, but I trust Him, that His purposes are always for our good.
I have had discussions with Alli's older sister and Alli, separately, to gain some perspective for writing this. Earlier today, for clarification, I asked Tatyana about Alli's behaviors back when she was a little girl in Russia, and then when she came home to America.
Tatyana has emphasized that all Alli's behaviors were typical kid type behaviors. She didn't feel that anything warranted what happened to her sister.
I asked Alli, "Do you remember how you behaved in Russia compared to America?" Her answer corroborated her sisters. She was a typical little girl in a very bad situation.
She was also picked for her good behavior in the orphanage to go to the store and go on a trip to the Black Sea, and to do something special at Christmas.
In watching the video given to us the the children's interview, Alli was typically nervous being recorded but said she liked Pink, and Barbies.
She was adorable.
What Alli DID say, was that she was very afraid to come to America. "I didn't want to leave my mommy."
That broke my heart.
Her mommy didn't have custody of her, but she still felt a connection with her.
Of COURSE she did! All kids love their mothers!
But she agreed to come, because she didn't want to lose her brother and sister.
And that is PRECISELY what happened to her!
Her biggest fear, came true. :(
Alli went through a time of shock, having 2 new parents that she couldn't relate to or communicate with, and a new brother who was younger than her. This was not their fault or her fault.
She was forbidden from speaking Russian to her siblings, which was her only form of communication.
And, she lost it.
She cried and had melt downs.
As time went on, things got more and more out of control. She didn't understand what was being required of her, and didn't get why they were so mad at her.
This was a hard time for all of them. And I am sure many of us could see themselves there.
Please remember that when a child is learning English... they may speak it LONG before they comprehend it! Misunderstanding RULES!
She was afraid of the family and didn't trust them. They were afraid of her and didn't trust her. She was angry.
Since she felt she could do nothing to please her family, she gave up trying.
She began to talk back and had decided in her mind that she was apart from them.
I can picture the "talking back".... it happend here too!
Things spiraled out of control and she wound up going into respite care where she did quite well.
At the end of her stay in respite care, she was told it was time for her to go back home. Her statement was "I'd rather die than go back to those people," which landed her in a Unit for evaluation, and then she was disrupted.
She called her home to communicate with her brother and sister, but was told they didn't want anything to do with her. She was devastated.
A disruption occurred.
Her second adoption didn't go so well either. And by then, she really just didn't care.
She decided she would rule her own life, and acted out whenever she felt like it.
She had begun to form a habit of unwanted behaviors to hide the pain she was in.
Then came us..... She wanted to try, she really did, but the fear of failure and self judgment ruled her heart and she was full of shame.
She would try, and then give up, try and then give up. It was a cycle of shame, sadness, anxiety, and then hope once again. It was HARD for all of us!
As Alli began to help us unravel her past, and opened up more and more to us, her window of trust and tolerance began to open wide, and she began to drop her old bad habits of unwanted behaviors she had clothed herself with.
She began to let go of the grip of fear that consumed her and began to trust once again.
But, as encouraged as we were, we knew we had a long road ahead of us, because when somebody allows themselves to go into reckless abandon behavior wise, it can be easier the next time, and next time, and there is so much disconnect. It becomes a habit ; and habits are hard to break!
Today, Alli loves and trusts us. In fact, during our talk, she said that she is glad she came to America, and she is happy that she is home with us.
And she very much feels "At Home!"
I was able to tell her how much I love being her mom. :)
So why am I writing this? I am writing it because it is so wearying seeing adoptions fail. :(
Adoptive parents NEED to be prepared for the adjustment phase of children coming to America or just into a new family.
The grief process is huge. We need to educate ourselves about what grief looks like and how we can help our children loving them through it, not judging them through it.
PARENTING METHODS MATTER HUGELY!They matter, especially, for a child who comes from a Trauma Background!
While Alli came from a background of trauma inflicted upon her in Russia, there was even more trauma forced upon her by her previous families and she couldn't handle it.
She went from feeling safe in the orphanage, to being terribly frightened and alone in America.
Feeling safe in an orphanage should say alot about what her home life in Russia, was like!
Parents, do all you can to educate yourselves on Trauma. LEARN HOW TO PARENT FROM A PLACE OF SAFETY AND LOVE!!!! STAY AWAY FROM FEAR BASED PARENTING!
And for heaven's sakes, stay AWAY from groups that call themselves "support groups" when they are really more like "misery loves company" groups.
I am so thankful for our sweetie's healing in her heart. SO THANKFUL!
But I am also thankful for the process we have all gone through over the last 2 and a half years. I have learned a LOT! :)
Parents, Never stop learning! Parenting is an art form that takes practice and effort! If we cease learning.... we lose, and it can be the difference between a greatly successful bringing of a family together, a cold existence living under the same roof, but not really being family, or a traumatic disruption that has profound effects on everybody. :(
This is my last post on disruption.
This post was meant to help folks to see disruption from the Child's perspective.
My daughter is healing. She is awesome and she is strong. She is real!
There is NO DOUBT that there are situations where disruption is necessary. I do not fault parents who find themselves in sad predicaments and do end adoptions.
My goal is not to fault anybody. Please do not personalize what I write.
It isn't about you!
My goal is to let adoptive parents know there is HOPE and there is HELP!
BUT..... we must be willing to be introspective and see where we must change.
I have had to change a LOT of things in my life, in the views I once held and more.
It has been a good and LONG journey.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Thoughts and Support Group
Over the last 15 weeks, I had the honor of taking a small group of people through "The Connected Child".
We had such a great time, and several want to do it again!
Over the next few weeks I am going to research a way to do an online class with video, so I can talk and not just type.
Last night, we finished with Chapter 12, which is all about dealing with your own stuff before you can deal with your child's.
I wrote a blog post a while back called "Any Unpacked Bags".<<<linked....and I think this is what chapter 12 was written about.
One thing I love about Karyn Purvis and also Heather Forbes, is that they believe there is no child who is too damaged or too hurt, that God cannot intervene and help them to heal.
I know this to be true. VERY TRUE.
But, at the same time, our children need US to help them heal. We are instruments that our Heavenly Father uses in the lives of our children.... and we need to be "in tune". :)
Just because you have had your own brokenness or trauma in your life, that does not mean you will not be an excellent parent, but you FIRST must deal with your own pain.
The good news is, you do not have to be like those who hurt you in your past. You can rise above it, and SHINE. :)
Your children CAN flourish! They CAN heal!
I am so proud of where my Alli is right now. 2 years and 5 months ago, a very broken little girl came to live with us. We had no preconceived expectations of her. We didn't know her.
As we studied her and worked to find delightful things about her, we began to get to know her, and she us.
We delighted in her sweet laugh and beautiful smile at first. We delighted that she was artistic and could organize her luggage quite well. We delighted that she was fantastic at playing hide and seek in a small hotel room, and could entertain her new nephew endlessly. We also delighted that she was willing to try once again to let herself be vulnerable.
That last one was a give and take for a very long time, with her trying and then pulling back to her version of safety.
But today, she is just like any of the other girls. She was even able to go with a sweet girlfriend to Art Camp this week at the "Biblical Arts Center" in Dallas! She has also gone swimming and tomorrow, on the last day, she'll tour the museum.
I am so proud of her!
She helped me to see over the last 2 plus years that I still had some unpacking to do. :) Unpacking I didn't know I needed, but I did. And so be it!
The Lord was at work, working on her heart, and mine!
That special dance that we do with our children, starts with stepping all over each other's toes, but before you know it, you are like gazelles leaping and dancing to the High Places.
Don't be afraid to unpack your excess baggage. It is truly freeing! And as you unpack, your child will be more willing to let go of the things that hold them in bondage.
Don't just dip your toe in the pool of love, and walk around the edges, DIVE IN with reckless abandon!
Your child WILL follow....
maybe slowly, but they will get there.
If you are interested in joining an online support group class for "The Connected Child", please let me know. We will be starting sometime in September.
We had such a great time, and several want to do it again!
Over the next few weeks I am going to research a way to do an online class with video, so I can talk and not just type.
Last night, we finished with Chapter 12, which is all about dealing with your own stuff before you can deal with your child's.
I wrote a blog post a while back called "Any Unpacked Bags".<<<linked....and I think this is what chapter 12 was written about.
One thing I love about Karyn Purvis and also Heather Forbes, is that they believe there is no child who is too damaged or too hurt, that God cannot intervene and help them to heal.
I know this to be true. VERY TRUE.
But, at the same time, our children need US to help them heal. We are instruments that our Heavenly Father uses in the lives of our children.... and we need to be "in tune". :)
Just because you have had your own brokenness or trauma in your life, that does not mean you will not be an excellent parent, but you FIRST must deal with your own pain.
The good news is, you do not have to be like those who hurt you in your past. You can rise above it, and SHINE. :)
Your children CAN flourish! They CAN heal!
I am so proud of where my Alli is right now. 2 years and 5 months ago, a very broken little girl came to live with us. We had no preconceived expectations of her. We didn't know her.
As we studied her and worked to find delightful things about her, we began to get to know her, and she us.
We delighted in her sweet laugh and beautiful smile at first. We delighted that she was artistic and could organize her luggage quite well. We delighted that she was fantastic at playing hide and seek in a small hotel room, and could entertain her new nephew endlessly. We also delighted that she was willing to try once again to let herself be vulnerable.
That last one was a give and take for a very long time, with her trying and then pulling back to her version of safety.
But today, she is just like any of the other girls. She was even able to go with a sweet girlfriend to Art Camp this week at the "Biblical Arts Center" in Dallas! She has also gone swimming and tomorrow, on the last day, she'll tour the museum.
I am so proud of her!
She helped me to see over the last 2 plus years that I still had some unpacking to do. :) Unpacking I didn't know I needed, but I did. And so be it!
The Lord was at work, working on her heart, and mine!
That special dance that we do with our children, starts with stepping all over each other's toes, but before you know it, you are like gazelles leaping and dancing to the High Places.
Don't be afraid to unpack your excess baggage. It is truly freeing! And as you unpack, your child will be more willing to let go of the things that hold them in bondage.
Don't just dip your toe in the pool of love, and walk around the edges, DIVE IN with reckless abandon!
Your child WILL follow....
maybe slowly, but they will get there.
If you are interested in joining an online support group class for "The Connected Child", please let me know. We will be starting sometime in September.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
My Birthday....
I was surprised last night by 5 of my children's plans, and 3 more calls from my other children.
They are all such a blessing in our lives!
I am having back problems so must have taken an awfully long nap, which COULD be why I'm up blogging at 6:00 a.m. LOL
Erika made the famous Lemon Cake, and did a wonderful job! They also went shopping and I had birthday presents and very sweet notes!
What rich blessings from the Lord my children are. I think of that verse in Psalms 128:3...."they shall be like olive branches round about your table."
Today is a very busy day, and I pray that my back holds up to do what needs to be done. So far, I lasted about 5 minutes.
The Lord knows.
A game of spades
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Processing The Weekend......
Alli, her sister and brother we all adopted 4 years ago from Russia, and brought to America but things didn't go so well. :( Alli's adoption was disrupted after much turmoil.
Today, Tatyana is also on her own.
Our visit however DID go well!
Both of these girls are amazing, strong girls. I am so thankful, that they were able to reunite and that they will have a relationship for the rest of their lives.
I feel as though we have added another daughter, with Tatyana. She is a sweet heart, and she and Alli have a lot of the same traits. It was so fun to just watch them compare fingers and toes, and talk about the same likes.... or have the same types of responses when language came into play. :)
I am so proud of both of them.
Some thoughts about this weekend have come to mind.
I think sometimes as adoptive parents, even with the best of intentions, we have preconceived ideas about who our children will be and what they will be like.
That is a dangerous thing, because our children are not blank slates. They come with personalities and behaviors that formed long before we met them.
We cannot change them!
But we CAN guide them and tweak those behaviors that are too strong, or too active, in the right direction.
Our children come to us with behaviors that are based upon survival. They cannot just shut that off and become what our dream of them would be. We need to love who THEY are!
Instead, we need to support the child that comes to us, because I promise, they have a LOT to bring into our lives to enrich and teach US.
As adoptive parents we need to EXPECT to be challenged by our OWN behaviors, our own thoughts, our own expectations, our own failures, and our own selfishness... our own sin. That 3 fingers pointing back thing that tells us .... we still have a long ways to go in this life, in the area of loving acceptance, will help us to stay on our knees and know that we cannot do this on our own. We need the loving hand of our Heavenly Father to lead and to guide us.
If you are struggling, don't isolate yourself! Reach out for help.... But reach out to those who are doing well and succeeding! Go to those conferences that are offered, connect!
Go to the online classes! Join the proper support group! ( I say proper because you don't want to belong to a misery loves company group)
And trust the Lord that He is at work in YOUR life, just as much as he is at work in the life of your child.
Fifty Five and Still Learning
So this is the face of 55. :)
And these are the hands of 55. :)
This was an interesting year. I was nervous to turn 54. It seems silly, to be nervous, but my father died at 54. The entire year that was on my mind. He was so young. I miss my dad.
So now, I'm 55 and older than my dad. That is surreal.
I am so thankful for each day, each breath, each life that I come into contact with, and so thankful for God's intervening, causing lives to intersect, divine appointments, and just such a rich life of love.
I am so thankful for family and friends who are so special. I am thankful for the good times and the deserts. The "eremos".
On Sunday, when we were in Skiatook Oklahoma, the Pastor at Lakeview Baptist Church talked about the desert experiences we have, that are a part of the Christian walk.
We had a mountain top experience last weekend,when Alli and Tatyana were reunited, and we met new friends in the process.
However, when we got home, I was faced with a few emails that hurt my heart beyond belief.
While the person didn't mean for her comments to be "personal", they were VERY personal to me.
I had sat that Sunday watching a young couple lovingly care for their severely handicapped child.
I was thinking to myself, how isolated they must feel in such a small town.
I remember feeling very isolated when our Tim was so very young. There was nobody I knew that had a child which such severe special needs, or any special needs for that matter.
(back then, Children didn't normally survive being so premature)
I thought about the precious ministry my Daughter In Law has with other parents of children who have special needs. I couldn't help but go over and hug her and ask if she had heard about "Hope's Seed".
She hadn't, and NOW she has! :)
I know that Emily will minister to this mama's heart!
And now back to the emails.....
The gest of them had to do with a child who has developmental delays and how this child will never live on their own and that nobody would ever love this child......but worse.
Something in me just snapped. I couldn't help it. I was so angry. I was so offended, because my sweet grand daughter may never live on her own. I was told my Tim would never live in HIS own, let alone, LIVE!
I LOVE my grand daughter and I LOVE my Tim, and I LOVE Erika and Sarah! ( I LOVE ALL of my children and grand children) :) We were told Erika was an imbicile that would never live on HER own! "Why would you want to adopt such a child?" I hurt to hear those words! And Erika is NO imbicile! She is precious, and smart and she will most CERTAINLY be able to live independently!
And YES our son Tim was considered profoundly mentally retarded, and the schools treated him just that way, telling us he couldn't learn. They lied.
Handicaps, physical or intellectual do NOT define an individual! Those citizens in our lives who have special needs enrich our lives IF we let them. They are some of the strongest, bravest people I know. I know many folks, old and young who are considered "less than" by many. They are mistreated, and there is extreme prejudice in our society towards those who are deemed weaker.
But, for those of us who know personally, the preciousness of each and every life God has ordained to walk this earth, we see the blessings that have come through very dark times.Sometimes God's blessings do not come through rainbows....they come through tears.
May I be so bold to say.... if we don't have hard times, we won't be able to see the blessings?
So, back to the email again....
I let the person know how deeply offending the comments were. It wasn't mean, it was just factual; but it was not gracious either, and it was not received. And I most likely blew my testimony. And for that I am humbled and sorrowful. :(
I need to remember and keep in mind that ALL of us have Special Needs; even those of us who don't know it.
We are all poor and naked and broken before a mighty and Holy God. We are all sinners, who God, in His great mercy, LOVES and forgives.
So, it is my birthday today... and I am so thankful for my family. I am thankful that God is not finished teaching me and picking me up when I fall down.
I am thankful for the mountaintops and for the deserts.... He is there, in both.
So thankful to the Lord today that He is still molding and shaping my life.
Today He has seen fit to bless me with some pretty severe nerve pain in my back.
I always take this as a message to slow down and pray.
May I spend the rest of my days bringing glory to Him!
And these are the hands of 55. :)
This was an interesting year. I was nervous to turn 54. It seems silly, to be nervous, but my father died at 54. The entire year that was on my mind. He was so young. I miss my dad.
So now, I'm 55 and older than my dad. That is surreal.
I am so thankful for each day, each breath, each life that I come into contact with, and so thankful for God's intervening, causing lives to intersect, divine appointments, and just such a rich life of love.
I am so thankful for family and friends who are so special. I am thankful for the good times and the deserts. The "eremos".
On Sunday, when we were in Skiatook Oklahoma, the Pastor at Lakeview Baptist Church talked about the desert experiences we have, that are a part of the Christian walk.
We had a mountain top experience last weekend,when Alli and Tatyana were reunited, and we met new friends in the process.
However, when we got home, I was faced with a few emails that hurt my heart beyond belief.
While the person didn't mean for her comments to be "personal", they were VERY personal to me.
I had sat that Sunday watching a young couple lovingly care for their severely handicapped child.
I was thinking to myself, how isolated they must feel in such a small town.
I remember feeling very isolated when our Tim was so very young. There was nobody I knew that had a child which such severe special needs, or any special needs for that matter.
(back then, Children didn't normally survive being so premature)
I thought about the precious ministry my Daughter In Law has with other parents of children who have special needs. I couldn't help but go over and hug her and ask if she had heard about "Hope's Seed".
She hadn't, and NOW she has! :)
I know that Emily will minister to this mama's heart!
And now back to the emails.....
The gest of them had to do with a child who has developmental delays and how this child will never live on their own and that nobody would ever love this child......but worse.
Something in me just snapped. I couldn't help it. I was so angry. I was so offended, because my sweet grand daughter may never live on her own. I was told my Tim would never live in HIS own, let alone, LIVE!
I LOVE my grand daughter and I LOVE my Tim, and I LOVE Erika and Sarah! ( I LOVE ALL of my children and grand children) :) We were told Erika was an imbicile that would never live on HER own! "Why would you want to adopt such a child?" I hurt to hear those words! And Erika is NO imbicile! She is precious, and smart and she will most CERTAINLY be able to live independently!
Handicaps, physical or intellectual do NOT define an individual! Those citizens in our lives who have special needs enrich our lives IF we let them. They are some of the strongest, bravest people I know. I know many folks, old and young who are considered "less than" by many. They are mistreated, and there is extreme prejudice in our society towards those who are deemed weaker.
But, for those of us who know personally, the preciousness of each and every life God has ordained to walk this earth, we see the blessings that have come through very dark times.
May I be so bold to say.... if we don't have hard times, we won't be able to see the blessings?
So, back to the email again....
I let the person know how deeply offending the comments were. It wasn't mean, it was just factual; but it was not gracious either, and it was not received. And I most likely blew my testimony. And for that I am humbled and sorrowful. :(
I need to remember and keep in mind that ALL of us have Special Needs; even those of us who don't know it.
We are all poor and naked and broken before a mighty and Holy God. We are all sinners, who God, in His great mercy, LOVES and forgives.
So, it is my birthday today... and I am so thankful for my family. I am thankful that God is not finished teaching me and picking me up when I fall down.
I am thankful for the mountaintops and for the deserts.... He is there, in both.
So thankful to the Lord today that He is still molding and shaping my life.
Today He has seen fit to bless me with some pretty severe nerve pain in my back.
I always take this as a message to slow down and pray.
May I spend the rest of my days bringing glory to Him!
GLUTEN FREE POPOVERS
I read a recipe that was for a German Pancake several weeks ago and
wanted to experiment with it. After several weeks, Erika and I came up with
something quite different.... but the taste is wonderful!
I love accidently discovering good food! :)
These babies melt in your mouth and you cannot eat just one! (or at least I can't!)
The top variation has maple glaze... The bottom one was just butter and powdered sugar.
I can picture a few variations, including Lingonberry butter with powdered sugar for a Swedish variety, Lemon curd with powdered sugar....
Or just plain, for plain old folks like me! :)
I know they aren't pretty... I haven't perfected that yet. :) And don't know how I could.
They look interesting in the oven. They puff up, and then when you take them out, they sink down which is the desired effect.
So, here is the recipe: If you try it, please drop a line and say if you enjoyed it or not....or offer ways to improve! :)
Gluten Free Popovers
PREHEAT oven to 400º
1/2 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup tapioca flour
1/2 tsp salt ( I use sea salt)
1/2 tsp xantham gum
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
2 TLB sugar
STIR all dry ingredients WELL
add:
1 TLB vanilla extract
6 eggs
3/4 cup of milk
1/4 cup of melted butter
Blend with mixer until all lumps are gone and everything is well mixed.
It will be a very thin batter. (so don't worry)
Using a spray oil.... grease muffin tins. (I used a regular muffin pan and a mini muffin pan)
Pour batter into each muffin pan so it is about 1//2 full. (notice.... not half empty) :)
Bake at 400º for 20 minutes.
Popovers will swell up and even turn in the pan.....
They will start to get a golden color....
Remove from oven and place on racks.
Serve warm with melted butter and powdered sugar, or any variety of toppings you choose or just plain.
They remind me of the taste of a French Crueller.
Recipe for maple glaze:
9 TLB powdered sugar
2 TLB real maple syrup
2 tsp vanilla extract
mix well
drizzle over popovers.
I love accidently discovering good food! :)
The top variation has maple glaze... The bottom one was just butter and powdered sugar.
I can picture a few variations, including Lingonberry butter with powdered sugar for a Swedish variety, Lemon curd with powdered sugar....
Or just plain, for plain old folks like me! :)
I know they aren't pretty... I haven't perfected that yet. :) And don't know how I could.
They look interesting in the oven. They puff up, and then when you take them out, they sink down which is the desired effect.
So, here is the recipe: If you try it, please drop a line and say if you enjoyed it or not....or offer ways to improve! :)
Gluten Free Popovers
PREHEAT oven to 400º
1/2 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup tapioca flour
1/2 tsp salt ( I use sea salt)
1/2 tsp xantham gum
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
2 TLB sugar
STIR all dry ingredients WELL
add:
1 TLB vanilla extract
6 eggs
3/4 cup of milk
1/4 cup of melted butter
Blend with mixer until all lumps are gone and everything is well mixed.
It will be a very thin batter. (so don't worry)
Using a spray oil.... grease muffin tins. (I used a regular muffin pan and a mini muffin pan)
Pour batter into each muffin pan so it is about 1//2 full. (notice.... not half empty) :)
Bake at 400º for 20 minutes.
Popovers will swell up and even turn in the pan.....
They will start to get a golden color....
Remove from oven and place on racks.
Serve warm with melted butter and powdered sugar, or any variety of toppings you choose or just plain.
They remind me of the taste of a French Crueller.
Recipe for maple glaze:
9 TLB powdered sugar
2 TLB real maple syrup
2 tsp vanilla extract
mix well
drizzle over popovers.
Monday, August 5, 2013
The Brother
He took them shopping to several different stores, and grocery shopping! Wow!
In the afternoon he played board games with Alli and Sarah and then tonight, he's giving a guitar lesson to the girls. :)
They are loving having their brother home.
And I am loving having our son home in Texas again!
When Joseph was a younger teen he was always a little envious of his friends who had little sisters. He and Marcus both wanted a sister.
But Joseph said, "I would love to have a bunch of "insanely gorgeous sisters" to watch over. :)
And we had no idea that the Lord would bring into our lives.... 4 sweet girls to be his "insanely gorgeous" sisters. LOL
It was so sweet watching them all interact today. It is a brave thing to take 4 teenage girls shopping!
So proud of all of them! :)
I can't wait for the rest of the crew to arrive in about 2 weeks! :)
Sunday, August 4, 2013
It Happened!
Oh! My! Words!
This was a weekend to remember! This was a weekend that has been bathed in 2 plus years of prayers!
This was a reuniting of what should have NEVER been divided!
And we had the honor and privilege to be a part of it.
Many of you know that we adopted Alli because of disruptions in her adoptions! I made that plural on PURPOSE.... Yes, 2 disruptions!
Alli came home to us 2 years and 5 months ago. (If you would like to follow her story from the beginning... go back to March 2011 on our blog and go from there....) :)
Sarah and Alli waiting......
Alli has LONGED to be with her sister and brother all this time. When she first came home she demanded that we go and just knock on the door and say, "I want to see them!"
I explained that we can't do that..... but we can PRAY for God's perfect timing. And we did.
This weekend, was God's perfect timing to meet her older sister Tatyana....:)
Her are some video's and pictures of our weekend:
The first meeting:
The Hurricaine! It was simulated.... at the mall. Only a category1. :)
We met at Uncle Bob's house! Thank you So MUCH Uncle Bob for being a very important part of this. We love Uncle Bob. He is such a great guy!
He even helps fix windshield wiper blades! :)
Let's go to the beginning:
It was a LONG DRIVE!
AND THEN::::
We were all together:
Oh, and there was another problem with the van. Good thing Mike is a mechanic!
There was shopping to be done!
Uncle Bob to entertain! :)
Precious moments to be had....
After the church meeting, we met one more time!
Comparing Hands... they already compared toes... and decided: They are the same! :)
At Gibson's house!
A fun meal at the Freter's....
Sisters.... Together again!
And They are sisters with New sisters.... and old sisters.... I feel like we have 5 sisters now. :)
I asked Alli.... "Does God answer our prayers?" She gave a very abundant smile with a great big YES!
This was a weekend to remember! This was a weekend that has been bathed in 2 plus years of prayers!
This was a reuniting of what should have NEVER been divided!
And we had the honor and privilege to be a part of it.
Many of you know that we adopted Alli because of disruptions in her adoptions! I made that plural on PURPOSE.... Yes, 2 disruptions!
Sarah and Alli waiting......
Alli has LONGED to be with her sister and brother all this time. When she first came home she demanded that we go and just knock on the door and say, "I want to see them!"
I explained that we can't do that..... but we can PRAY for God's perfect timing. And we did.
This weekend, was God's perfect timing to meet her older sister Tatyana....:)
Her are some video's and pictures of our weekend:
The first meeting:
The Hurricaine! It was simulated.... at the mall. Only a category1. :)
We met at Uncle Bob's house! Thank you So MUCH Uncle Bob for being a very important part of this. We love Uncle Bob. He is such a great guy!
He even helps fix windshield wiper blades! :)
Let's go to the beginning:
It was a LONG DRIVE!
AND THEN::::
We were all together:
A fun meal at the Freter's....
Sisters.... Together again!
And They are sisters with New sisters.... and old sisters.... I feel like we have 5 sisters now. :)
One of the final hugs good bye until December. :)
I asked Alli.... "Does God answer our prayers?" She gave a very abundant smile with a great big YES!
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