God's Provision

Many years ago, our son Marcus prayed for a piano so he could learn to play.  The next day, we got a call from Mike's dad who had no idea that his grandson was praying for a piano. He lived in another state.  He called and said, "Hey, do you want a piano? This piano has been sitting here for years, and I'll drive it down and deliver it right to you!"  WOW! What an answer to prayer!  Marcus DID learn to play that piano beautifully, and it went away with him when he married. It was his own personal answer to a very sweet prayer.

Then came the girls...... Now that they are a little older, interests are changing, and music has been on everybody's mind. They have a guitar, and I even bought a violin for ME, to see if I could relearn some old bad habits. LOL  (it was a great buy on Ebay)

Last night, Mike and I were talking about wishing we had a piano once again, even a little practice piano so the girls could learn, and we could have music in the house once again that didn't squeak! (my violin playing can make one cry)
We both looked at each other and said, "God will provide, if He wants us to have one!"  We didn't even have a chance to pray about it!

Today, one of our customers drove up and knocked on the door.  In the back of his truck was a practice piano, with bench and music!  I couldn't believe it!  He just said, "We want you to have this!" LOL

It is amazing how the Lord works in our lives and helps our faith to grow. :)
So, here it is!

I can't wait to hear Bach's Invention 8 once again!

Somebody's Growing Up!

One of our sweeties is growing up right before our eyes!  She has been a cat lover since we met her at nearly 5 years old.  She even learned how to purr, and would meow to us all the time.

There were moments when I wondered, "Would she REALLY NOT go to college purring?"

That is what I told myself. :) Just like I promised myself Joe would not go to college in diapers.

 Well, It has happened. Apparently Brad Paisley has won out over cats! The cat decorations came down and we have been serenated to Brad Paisley songs, only the good ones of course, for about a week now.  The room walls have been redecorated and I do believe we have entered a new stage in our sweeties life.

 Hmmm. I wonder who it could be? :)  Just in case you were wondering:


Our sweet Anna girl! :)

And just in case you were wondering:

Our sweet Joe DID go to college without his diapers. :)

Sarah and Her Daddy

Sarah woke up this a.m. with the adoring smile and admiration of her favorite man. Her daddy. :)

She is going through such a sweet stage.... She is still a little girl and yet becoming a mature lady too.

Her best friend gave her a diary with a voice controlled password.  She was sitting in the living room repeating her name into the speaker to get that diary opened to no avail.  Daddy rescued that situation by taking out the batteries to reset the code.  She just beamed at him and said, "Oh Daddy! You are the Best!

I think he liked that. :)

Funny Things You Never Expect To Have a Discussion About

Erika and I were in the prosthetist's office EARLY on Friday morning for her fitting.

She has begun to outgrow her legs, and before that happens, they start a new pair so she won't go without. One time,  we waited too long and she wound up not having feet for a few months!

So, as we were sitting there waiting to see the doctor, the therapist, the prosthetist and everybody else that comes to see us every time we go,  and after she had put on her shorts..... we had a discussion about what her new legs would look like. 

In all honesty, I was not pleased that she had picked playing cards and money to adorn her last pair of legs.  I was especially not pleased with them on Christmas Sunday morning, as they just didn't seem to go with her dress. LOL

So here we are, mother and daughter, sitting in a small room for what seemed like hours and we were talking about TATTOOS!  We were talking about what would adorn her legs next and her comment was, "Well mom, you know I don't like wearing dresses anyway, so if I didn't have to wear a dress, nobody would have noticed my playing cards and money. LOLSo then I say, but Erika, I really think you need to be prepared for Shorts and warmer weather, and really, we should be careful about what we want to portray on our legs..... and then I say, "If these weren't prosthetics, we wouldn't even be having this discussion! 

Sometimes it is hard, when there is STRONG influence to let the kids pick things that normally wouldn't be appropriate..... I think when they are littler, a butterfly or horse or princess is fine..... but now that they are older, I think we need to tone it down.

As we were driving home it kind of cracked me up that we were even having such a conversation.  If you had talked to me 10 years ago I wouldn't have understood anything about the world of prosthetics.

It is amazing how life changes.

Sarah has already agreed that she probably won't get anything put on her next set of legs.  I am hoping Erika feels the same way soon, even if she doesn't wear a dress. :) 

BUT.... I have put my foot down on the money and cards. ........that won't happen again.

Michelangelo

Each of the girls picked a person to study this week.  Erika picked Michelangelo.

I thought she did a pretty good job at her recreation of "Creation of Man" by Michelangelo.

The Confusion of Beyond Consequences Logic and Control Part 2

I was talking with somebody the other day, and over the last few months, more than one person.... about BCLC and how it works.  There are so many mis understandings about it, and I think maybe clarifying would be very helpful for those trying to put it into practice.

I wrote part one here:

BCLC is not really a program. It is a paradigm shift in thinking.  Instead of ASSUMING that all behaviors that are negative are stemming from rebellion, manipulation, and trying to get at you,
we consider that the child 1. Is not scheming to get at all your buttons. 2. Is in Protection Mode
3. Is operating from what is called Fright and Flight mode..... (they aren't thinking rationally)

Children with trauma backgrounds DO HEAL, CAN HEAL and WILL HEAL..... but if they are looked at in such negative ways as everything is either of cold calculation or manipulation or defiance and rebellion, AND, they are confused by those labels.... meaning, they don't understand why somebody would say such a thing about them, and they are hurt by those words..... the opportunity to heal is slim.

If instead, the child is accepted WHERE THEY ARE, and then brought into a place of firm and loving acceptance, only then can they be guided to a safe place of vulnerability to really heal.
External obedience based upon fear is not healing. It is delayed rage.  But when a child feels SAFE, safe to talk, safe to feel, safe to say what is on their heart, even if those words are hard to hear; only then, can real, life long instruction that will STICK and cause PERMANENT change take place.

Will they be perfect little human beings? No. As, I am not a perfect mama, and am full of imperfections, they will always be human. :)
But, if I don't hold my buttons out to be pushed, they can't push them.  If I am stronger, and the grown up,  and the immovable loving force, that takes them by the hand and REDIRECTS them into a place of love and calm, they will want to stay there, eventually.

For the child who is used to a storm, loving calm can feel REALLY weird and scary. Yes, scary.
They will do everything in their power to stay within the familiar, because it "seems safe".  It is familiar, and when everything else is unfamiliar, and uncharted territory, a good old fashioned storm seems safe in a warped sort of way.

Have you ever met an adult who seems to thrive on Chaos?  Apparently there are alot of them out there, otherwise soap operas wouldn't be so popular.

So, for clarification's sake:  BCLC is not a "coddle fest".  It is not an, "Oh, Suzie, you just tried to burn the house down, I know you are scared, let's go rock in the chair".  LOL

BCLC is instructive and waits instead of tying to accomplish everything in the "heat of the moment".
A child who is out of control cannot learn OR listen when they are in that mode.  Finding the best way to get them calm and quick is the beginning.  NOT the end.
If it is rocking, great. If it is sitting quietly next to them great.  If they are a teenager and they stomp off to their room to self regulate, great.  (don't go storming in) WAIT.
They will not cease to exist in the next 10 minutes or hour.

When things are calm and settled, reaffirm your love. Then, talk to them about better ways to handle things.  Ask THEM, "How do you think you could handle that better?"  "What can mom and dad do to help you?"  You may be surprised by their answers.
Sometimes you might get an "I don't know" and sometimes you might get an ear full. :)
BCLC is gentle shepherd parenting and instruction in righteousness, and right living, without brow
beating and judging every motive.
IS IT POSSIBLE you are dealing with rebellion? Yes it is.  But the instruction doesn't change.
We are ALL rebellious in our hearts towards God.  Yet, God tenderly calls us to come to him and rest.

As you instruct and pray with your child, bringing into the fabric of their lives the word of God,  instruction for life,  talking about past, present and future...... be encouraged that LASTING CHANGE will take place.
Will you go backwards sometimes?  Yes..... but then, you will quickly move forwards too.

We had this experience last week.... and I have to say,  the forwards has not just been 3 steps but about 10.  I am even a little shocked. :)

I think one of the things that helps me understand BCLC the most, is the bible.  God tenderly deals with us. He woo's us, he instructs us, his mercies are new every morning. He is GREAT in Mercy and Grace, not wanting anybody to perish.  He loves us with an everlasting love. The best model I can think of is Jesus himself with the disciples.  He was the gentle shepherd who instructed and taught and taught and instructed, and when Peter said something like, "I'll die for you!"  He said, actually Peter, you are going to deny me, but don't worry..... I am praying for you.... I love you. It will be ok.

Wow. This is our example.  Sometimes we have our kids written off before they are 3.  I know I have said this before.... but one of our sons, had we considered everything he did as negative rebellion and punished him constantly, we wouldn't have the son we have today. I am convinced he could have become a self fulfilling prophecy...... But instead, he is a loving and happy husband and father and a very loving son.

Behaviors are simply gauges to watch, and when they are in the red area, we work to bring them back into compliance and get them to stay there on their own. :)
For some it is much harder work than for others..... but BCLC teaches SELF CONTROL not external control that will blow up later.
It may take a little more time, but once things are set in place, it is pure joy.

Three Steps Forward Two Steps Back Three Steps Forward

On Saturday, we had a bit of a bummer of a day..... I posted about it here.  We all had a good night's sleep, and in the morning, everything was new. EVERYTHING.... attitudes were better, back to normal and actually improved!  Yea!

So we had wonderful day enjoying the Lord, enjoying each other and even had a pot luck.  That was really special since we missed the one on Saturday.   I went ahead and brought roasted beets and the girls were thrilled.

We all settled in last night and enjoyed a documentary on Cougars, and daddy went to the Nursing home to do a bible study with the ladies.  I got the girls off to bed and just enjoyed  some more quiet time. :)

Then, in the morning, I began thinking about the book I read..... "Three Little Words"..... one of the things the little girl wrote about was how, no matter how hard things had been the night before, every morning was a new day, and a fresh start.

That is EXACTLY how I feel each morning, even if the day before has not been the best. I want to present to the girls that God's mercies are new every morning, and every morning is the beginning of a new and wonderful day.
When Anna woke up,  we talked a little about school and a few changes I was going to make to help them improve in a few areas. That is my job...... I let her know ahead of time because she really does not like change.  I showed her carefully how her day would work, and that the new thing we were adding would not take up any more time, we are just cutting back a little on something else.

She looked at me and sincerely asked, "Have you noticed how hard I'm trying?"  I said, I SURE HAVE! And she had a big grin and gave me the most genuine hug.  She said, "Mom I love you!"
I told her the same..... and then I sat back and thought, wow! We have REALLY moved forward!
LOL

Typically news of a change would not have gone over so well at all...... she would have complied but it would have been more reluctant, and then after a couple of days she might admit she actually liked it..... but today was a NEW ANNA....  good for her!
Love that kid. :)

Erika and Sarah asked some good questions about what would be expected with the new assignments and they were ALL very happy that Laura Ingalls Wilder used some of the very same books they are using. :)

So, we are off to a great start of a great 2nd semester.......and no, we didn't take a snow day. :)

It Snowed

and we are staying toasty warm inside with our handy, dandy, wood stove. :)

Questions About Dad

In My previous post, the girlies answered questions about Mom.... here is the dad version.


Erika:
1. What is something Dad always says to you? I love you

2. What makes Dad happy? When we do what we are told.

3. What makes Dad sad? When we don't do what we are told.

4. How does your Dad make you laugh? When he tickles me.

5. What did your Dad like to do as a child? Play.

6. How old is your Dad? You're 52 right? He's 50.

7. How tall is your Dad?  5'5

8. What is his favorite thing to do? Go boating

9. What does your dad do when you're not around? I don't know, I'm not around.

10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for? Racing

11. What is your dad really good at? Boating

12. What is your dad not very good at? That's hard...keeping track of his keys.

13. What does your dad do for his job? works on cars

14. What is your Dad's  favorite food? Fish and Rice

15. What makes you proud of your Dad? The way he takes care of us.

16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be? Cinderella's Prince

17. What do you and your dad do together? He tightens my legs.

18. How are you and your dad the same? We both finish our food.

19. How are you and your dad different? He has a beard and I don't.

20. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?   to the Lake

21.How do you know your dad loves you? The way he cares.

Anna:

1. What is something Dad always says to you? Have a good day.

2. What makes Dad happy? Steve Vye

3. What makes Dad sad? WHen we don't do what were supposed to.

4. How does your Dad make you laugh? Teases us

5. What did your Dad like to do as a child? Throw snowballs at passing cars.

6. How old is your Dad? He must be going on 51

7. How tall is your Dad?  smaller than my mom

8. What is his favorite thing to do? watch a music dvd of the guy with the long hair.

9. What does your dad do when you're not around? I don't know, I'm not around to know.

10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for? cars

11. What is your dad really good at? cars

12. What is your dad not very good at? cooking

13. What does your dad do for his job? works on cars

14. What is your Dad's  favorite food? Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

15. What makes you proud of your Dad? When he fixes my bike.

16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be? I don't know I don't watch cartoons really.

17. What do you and your dad do together? Spend time with each other.

18. How are you and your dad the same? We both like to do dangerous things mom doesn't like to do.

19. How are you and your dad different? He's a boy.

20. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?   Home Depot

21.How do you know your dad loves you? Because He told me so

Sarah:
1. What is something Dad always says to you? He loves me.

2. What makes Dad happy? When you hug him.

3. What makes Dad sad? When you don't hug him in the morning.

4. How does your Dad make you laugh? When he makes up different voices.

5. What did your Dad like to do as a child? Play with his brothers.

6. How old is your Dad? 50

7. How tall is your Dad?  shorter than my mom

8. What is his favorite thing to do? Have a daddy daughter time.

9. What does your dad do when you're not around? Work in the shoppe.

10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for? Racing

11. What is your dad really good at? Fixing things

12. What is your dad not very good at? That's hard...UNKNOWN-emphasis insisted.

13. What does your dad do for his job? works in the shoppe

14. What is your Dad's  favorite food? Sandwiches or rice

15. What makes you proud of your Dad? When he fixes things.

16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be? Popeye

17. What do you and your dad do together? Have a daddy and daughter time.

18. How are you and your dad the same? We're both very good at hugging and squeezing.

19. How are you and your dad different? He is better at fixing things.

20. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?   Home Depot

21.How do you know your dad loves you? Because He says so.

Questions about Mom

Keri posted these on her blog, so I decided to ask the girls.....

Directions:  Ask your child these questions and write down the answers, exactly as they respond. 


Erika:

1. What is something mom always says to you? I love You... Be Careful

2. What makes mom happy? When you rub her feet, when we have a good attitude.

3. What makes mom sad? When we have bad attitudes.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? Tickles me and tells me funny jokes.

5. What did your mom like to do as a child? Did you like going to school?

6. How old is your mom? 52 almost 53

7. How tall is your mom?  5-7

8. What is her favorite thing to do? spend time with us, I think.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? I don't know, I'm not around to know.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? writing a book, helping others

11. What is your mom really good at? cooking and typing

12. What is your mom not very good at? keeping up with the laundry<----TRUE

13. What does your mom do for her job? BCLC

14. What is your mom's favorite food? gluten free pizza?

15. What makes you proud of your mom? The way she takes care of us, and expresses her feelings.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Olive Oyl.

17. What do you and your mom do together? Shopping, spend time with each other, pretty much everything.

18. How are you and your mom the same? We both like jeans and we both order coke when we go out, and we like spice!

19. How are you and your mom different? I can get 3 loads of laundry done in one day. I know how to knit, crochet and sew, she doesn't.

20. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?   California

21.How do you know your mom loves you? Because she says it all the time, AND she cares for me.

 Directions:  Ask your child these questions and write down the answers, exactly as they respond. 


Anna

1. What is something mom always says to you? I love you

2. What makes mom happy? If you do the laundry.

3. What makes mom sad? When you disobey.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? Say funny things.

5. What did your mom like to do as a child? cuddle

6. How old is your mom? Are you fifty two yet?

7. How tall is your mom?  5 foot 3 inches

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Sing

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? I don't know, I'm not around.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Parenting.

11. What is your mom really good at? Folding laundry.

12. What is your mom not very good at? Nailing in boards.

13. What does your mom do for her job? She's a parent trainer.

14. What is your mom's favorite food? I don't know

15. What makes you proud of your mom? When you help someone in need.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Daffy Duck

17. What do you and your mom do together? Get a coke.

18. How are you and your mom the same? I don't think we are the same.  Oh, we're both girls.

19. How are you and your mom different? In every way but one.

20. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?   Walmart.

21.How do you know your mom loves you? Because she tells me so.

Sarah's answers:
Directions:  Ask your child these questions and write down the answers, exactly as they respond. 


Sarah

1. What is something mom always says to you? I love you, you're wonderful.

2. What makes mom happy? When you tell her you love her and you hug her.

3. What makes mom sad? When you have a bad attitude and yell at her.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? When she tells about when my brothers were little.

5. What did your mom like to do as a child? Go to the beach.

6. How old is your mom? 52

7. How tall is your mom?  6 feet

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Having fun with the whole family.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? She gets on the computer.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Writing a wonderful book.

11. What is your mom really good at? Typing and hugging.

12. What is your mom not very good at? Writing on the Chalk board.

13. What does your mom do for her job? She homeschools.

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Rice

15. What makes you proud of your mom? She's really good and cute with animals.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? When I was little: witch in the wonderful wizard of Oz because of her moles:
                                                                                                                                   Hmmm. I don't know.

17. What do you and your mom do together? Shopping

18. How are you and your mom the same? We both like talking to each other alot.

19. How are you and your mom different? I like doing dangerous things. She wouldn't want to.

20. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?   Movies

21.How do you know your mom loves you? Because she hugs and kisses me alot.

Well, there you have it. :) 

When Your Head Knows What To Do

When your head knows what to do and you don't do it, what is that called?

I call it Blowing It!

Today, wasn't too much different from most days, though 2 of our nameless, nap taking children, just fell into a pit.....
Not a real pit, but a pit of behaviors that are totally unacceptable around here. Let's just say they got a case of the "snottys".

I probably COULD have diverted, redirected, ignored, accepted a half hearted apology...... but no. I didn't.
I indulged myself. I admit, I was caught of guard. Our morning went great. What could happen by just walking out the door to go shopping? Isn't that supposed to be fun?

Instead, I allowed my hurt feelings to show. Then, I got bossy.  Then, I got unhappy..... and then,  when we returned home,
I started crying.
It is a RARE thing for me to do this, so it caught Mike's attention. I overheard him come in the house and ask the girls, "What did you do to mom?"  Since there was no sufficient answer... he came in and asked, "who"..... I told him Erika was innocent.  The other two, who shall not be named were asked a few questions and then sent to separate rooms to think of some answers.

As he and I talked, I told him, I just want to fix things.  I want things to work out right.  He said, "wow, you sound like a guy!" LOL  Thanks dear.  I said, yea, "Now I'm an emotional guy!" :)
We both got a chuckle out of that.  We came up with a game plan together.  LOVE that MAN!

Gosh, I feel better.  Not totally better, but way better than I did earlier today.  Sometimes a good cry isn't so bad. I think what really made me feel better was Mike stepping in and in a very good, kind, yet firm way, letting two little girls know their behavior effects everybody, and it was NOT ok.

We were supposed to go to a special event tonight, but instead, Mike and Erika will be going to the movies.  It is a daddy - daughter date which is much deserved.
The other 2 darlings will be staying home with mom, not because they are in trouble, but because we aren't going to our event,  which was obviously going to be too overwhelming, and we don't want to overwhelm them.

I probably could have handled things very differently early on, and just gone home from our attempted shopping trip early. That is my normal policy, and I broke it.  Instead I tried to make things work, and it was like trying to put a square peg in a round hole.  I won't be doing that again. Way too much stress for me.

I'm sure we will all be back to normal by morning as these bumps seem to occur, as none of us are perfect.....and sin natures are alive and well. :)  I was hoping to attend that event, but there will be other events to attend, and honestly, I am really happy that Erika and Dad get to go and have a great time together.

Three Little Words

A MUST READ!

The flowers are courtesy of my Mike! :)  Thanks dear.