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Sunday, October 2, 2011

I AM SO ANGRY!!!! HERE WE GO AGAIN!

HERE WE GO AGAIN! (Click on this link for news story)

I am not one to ban books, but FRANKLY! The PEARLS NEED TO BE BANNED!
Another black eye for the adoption community and for the home schooling community!
REALLY PEOPLE.... THE PEARLS ADVOCATE CHILD ABUSE!!!!!
Another child is DEAD! DEAD MEANS YOU KILLED THEM! MURDERED THEM!!!!
GOOD HEAVENS WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!

14 comments:

Hevel said...

OK, all those people, who are now telling the details to authorities... where were they, when she was alive? Why didn't they speak up? Apparently, they knew what was going on.

Also, why on earth did these people adopt?

Mike and Christie said...

Hevel, according to the document I just posted....people DID report it.

Mike and Christie said...

here is a PDF link if interested:
addisvoice.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Hana-William.pdf

Hevel said...

Christie, I can't access that file.

Mike and Christie said...

Hevel, if you google Carri and Larry Williams, the first thing that pops up is this pdf file....

Mike and Christie said...

I just emailed it to you.

Hevel said...

OK, I found and read it, and I find no sign of anyone reporting anything to anyone before Hana's death in May. All the dates are from May 12 or later. What am I missing?

Mike and Christie said...

Somewhere in there, I'd have to go back and look, in an interview, a person said they did call CPS out of concern. I believe it was mentioned 2 x's....
The sewing circle ladies also seemed to have concern. I do not know if they acted on it separately, or if it was one of those ladies who reported as a consensus among the group.

waitingarms said...

I don't know what comes before - the chicken or the egg? Are sick and evil people drawn to the Pearl's writings to justify their own notions of discipline and child raising or do they read the books and then begin to abuse their children? I simply cannot wrap my mind around a sane person simply reading a book and then instead of putting it away in revulsion, they suddenly become monsters. It is also perplexing that they did not use the same discipline methodology for their bio children - somehow they were able to be sane in their discipline and not use the Pearl's "wisdom".

I think sometimes it is very difficult to believe that people on their own accord can be extremely evil - as a society, we are always trying to look for the cause - bad childhood, books read etc. Just as horrific are those who now say they had concerns after the child is dead. Why would the circle sewing ladies look for consensus before reporting? Each of them should have been calling CPS - it is CPS's job to prove or disprove any allegations. And the friends/guests who would see the mistreatment but stay silent? Either in the dark recesses of their minds they agreed with the abuse or they were too concerned with being the good guys and not causing any waves! This is just so tragic on so many levels!

r. said...

Waiting Arms -- They might have been using the same discipline methodology with all children, but it might not have done as much damage with neurotypical, non-disabled, non-trauma history children. In the news stories I've read about so far, the families had used Pearls' teachings with their biological children too, but when it didn't work with the adopted kids, rather than give up and move on to a different approach, the parents just got more and more restrictive and abusive. It seems like that was some of what happened here.

That said, I don't think it's fair to expect parents to treat their older adopted kids the exact same way as their biological kids. The adopted kids come with different issues and different abilities. But I think it should go both ways--maybe parents have to be more restrictive with certain adopted or disabled kids, but they should also be willing to acknowledge that certain behaviors are not the same signs of defiance that they would be if they came from neurotypical biological kids.

I have to say that I'm always troubled when adoption agencies think it's a good idea to place deaf kids with rural homeschooling families who have no ties to the Deaf community. It is quite possible that the little boy's language would be delayed no matter what--I know of a blog where the mom is a sign language interpreter (so she does know sign language herself), and extensive testing has indicated that her Ethiopian deaf kiddo just learns differently and may always have trouble with language issues. But I've also read a blog where the family, after a couple years (again, rural, homeschooling, no connections to deaf community) finally sent their daughter to the state boarding school for the deaf. On their blog (which has since been taken down--I wonder if the adoption disrupted), they acknowledged that while the idea had been for the whole family to learn sign language, they never did develop the level of proficiency to communicate with her and to develop her communication skills. But it took a couple years before this happened and in the meantime the girl had limited communicative abilities.

(Christie, please know that I'm not against rural homeschooling families in general, but I do raise my eyebrows when it has to do with deaf kids. ASL is its own language. It's just not fair that these kids sometimes end up with very little access to native (or even fluent, non-native) speakers.)

I also feel awful for the older kids who were made to participate in the abuse. As of the time of the investigations, at least, some of them still didn't think anything wrong was going on. I can't even imagine what that will be like for the children to live with moving forward.

Kelly said...

It's very sad. I pray for the children, and Lord help me, the parents, too.

r. said...

The investigative report has me thinking of things I read on another adoptive blog that has since been taken down. Their daughter kept having "accidents" and they made her take cold baths when it happened. (There was some sort of "logical" tie-in about how "Jesus washes away our sins.") Warm baths were only for when she hadn't soiled herself. Now that I read these stories, this sounds like Pearl teachings. Creepy!

PS - If you wonder why I didn't do something to report it, well, she made it sound like it was just regular tap water as opposed to warm water. I'm in Texas. It hadn't even occurred to me how bad a cold bath could be in other parts of the county until I saw viewer comments on that awful Dr. Phil episode--fellow Alaskans were more troubled by the cold showers (which at least one commenter said would be so cold as to be painful) than they were about the hotsauce. And I guess when you only get one part of the overall context, like is often the case in a blog, it's harder to see red flags for what they are.

Mike and Christie said...

R- I understand what you are saying. :)
As far as the cold water thing...
When our 3rd son was 3, he kept having these little concentrated AWFULLY STINKY raisin sized poops... (lol) because he was too busy to go potty. Typical kid.
I was using warmed babywipes to clean him up when I changed his brother and he seemed to enjoy the attention. So, one day, I decided to not use warm wipes but just tap water. Used a rather rough wash cloth and said, "oh my! we need to get you cleaned up..." He didn't say anything but the look on his face was a little telling... he did not expect that!
AND the result was: he didn't go in his pants again.
I had never read a Pearl book.
NOR would I advocate to anybody "you should try this"....
Honestly, had it not worked the first time, I probably wouldn't have done it again. I was just trying to not make the experience pleasant..... with the warmer nicer babywipes.
Now that I look back, I don't think I would have done the same thing.
I know many people who have used the Pearl's books and gone to the Growing Kids God's Way classes.
(that is the nicer version of the older book)
But still not nice.
The entire interviews were interesting because you could see how a family that seemed in control, became increasingly out of control. The same with the Stotz family. These people I am sure did not go overseas with bad intentions. I bet they had good intentions. And then.....
The unexpected. They were not prepared for how hard things would be. And that is precisely why I REALLY think that there needs to be some serious education and follow up with families to make sure they are doing ok.
People are going to make mistakes, but this went from a bad parenting paradigm in the first place, to worse, to plain sadistic evil. And I agree, to include the other children was heartbreaking. :( I can't imagine. I hope they find true peace and forgiveness.
And Kelly,
I too pray for the parents. My guess is that they are in shock with their situation and with the reality of the death of a child... and at how they did not bond.

For those struggling.... it is a STRONG MESSAGE to reach out and get help.

r. said...

Christine,

Your comments about the control issues are insightful. It kind of reminds me of anorexia--someone may have long since lost control and may even be dying of the disease, but they don't necessarily know it or know what to do about it. In their minds, they're still desperately trying to stay in control.

-R

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