I was talking with a most very favorite person the other night about children and adoption and babies and all sorts of fun things. I was telling her about my children; all 7 of them. We talked about how fun babies are, and how funny Mr. Will is and how much like Joseph Sam is.
And then we were talking about when our lives take a different direction. A direction that is way more different from what we ever expected.
I remember being idealistic and young and how I knew absoloutly everything about life when I was 18. :) (NOT) I had no idea what would unfold in my life. If I had known, I most likely would have never stepped into the water of life, but hid out somewhere safe, and thus, would have never really lived.
Life is full of choices, it is full of pain, joy, and everything in between. The great thing about serving our Heavenly Father is that we are always living our life BEST.
It isn't second best, even when bad things happen, and circumstances are brought into our lives that we do not comprehend as being possibly good for us, our life isn't second best.
How in the WORLD can it be good to suffer? How can it be good to have pain? How can it be good to watch your premature baby day after day struggle to breathe and be told he will die?
I honestly don't have all the answers, and unlike when I was 18, I don't know everything.
But there is one thing I do know. When I am centered in God's will, when I am focused on serving Him, I know that He only wants what is best for us. I am most happy and satisfied in my life, when my desire is to bring Glory to HIM. My son has cerebral palsy. My daughter had her feet amputated and has arthrogryposis, my other daughter has restrictive band syndrome and a missing leg and fingers. We have had our share of tragedy and triumph, all 7 of my children have been affected by abandonment, adoption, rejection and acceptance. My children have come to us in various states of gestation and age. But they are all gifts from God. Each and every one of them are perfect just as God sent them to us. They are not second best. They are best. All 7 of them, each in their own way, with their own strengths and weaknesses.
So, back to my conversation with one of my most favorite people..
...
She has some decisions to make and is at a crossroads in her life. Her desires are good, but may not be what is in store for her. As she looks to the Lord for guidance, I pray that she will see that God does not choose second best for us. He chooses to bless each of us differently in order to refine us into pure gold.
That refiners fire may mold, shape and break us in ways we do not expect, but when we come out on the other end, we will shine. We will be greatful and we will see that our life truly was BEST.
The Minich Family Blog: Every Family Has A Story...Welcome To Ours
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Borscht for Oatmeal
Sarah and I came to an agreement. If she ate her oatmeal, we would make Borscht for lunch. She did, and we did.
Grating Beets
Sauteing Cabbage
More Grating Beets
Enjoying the Finished Product
Grating Beets
Sauteing Cabbage
More Grating Beets
Enjoying the Finished Product
Sunday, December 21, 2008
A Morning To Remember
Well, This is Christmas Sunday, and here I sit at my computer, typing this post, in hopes that it will bring help, understanding, joy to those who read, and Glory to the One who's Birthday we celebrate at this time of year.
(Anna is next door picking up the giant dog poop left in the neighbor's house by their dog. She is caring for their animals while they are on vacation)
We had all intended for this morning to be a special morning. It is Christmas Sunday. I love Christmas Sunday. It is a time for Celebrating our Savior and we were going to Attend the Morning Christmas Program. But..... something else happened, and plans changed.
When Mike and I got up this a.m., he told me about a funny dream he had, but I didn't tell him about mine. Mine wasn't funny. In fact, I'm not sure it was a dream at all. It was more of a "spiritual experience". The kind I don't like, but that have happened before. It was like I woke up to a bad presence, or oppression, and it was dark. I felt pressure and could barely move. I instantly began to pray, and speak out the name of the Lord, and then it came to my mind to pray for Anna. I began to pray for Anna, and then when drowsiness won, I went back to sleep peacefully.
So, while Mike and I were sitting peacefully by the fire, having our coffee, a little voice called from the room. Mommy, Daddy, can I come out and sit with you? It was Erika. She is so excited about her 3rd Christmas with us. While Anna and Sarah slept peacefully in the other room, we rested on the couch with Erika and enjoyed talking with her. She reminisced about Orphanage Christmases, and talked about identifying with the Character in the American Girl Movie "Samantha". Then she said, "May I never wake up from this dream!" :)
Anna and Sarah were sleeping so peacefully that we finally had to wake them. It was time to get ready for church and we were all excited to go and watch the Christmas program.
It had been agreed upon a few weeks ago that the girls would be wearing the same dresses that a relative had picked for them so sweetly. They are very pretty dresses, very FANCY, and we figured Christmas Sunday would be a good time to wear them before they get too small. :)
Anna isn't particularly fond of fancy dresses, nor is Erika, but Sarah is, so she was very excited to put hers on. Erika joyfully put hers on too.... but then there was our Anna. She wasn't joyful. Then, when mom said, Let's get a picture, she REALLY wasn't joyful. Soooo, I said, "common' Anna, we want to send a picture to your Aunt so she can see your pretty dress in front of the tree." Well, with that, came pouts, tears, and then anger. Real anger. She made some statements about not caring, etc. etc.
and we asked her one more time to just try. She pretty much refused.
So, then I stepped in, and said, "your behavior is inappropriate, and there is no reason to behave this way etc. etc. I shouldn't have followed the trail, but I did.
And it didn't help. It started to spiral in the wrong direction. So, I said, "Daddy, why don't you go ahead and take the girls to church and I will have to stay home with Anna. She is obviously in no condition to go to church, or out afterwards, we cannot reward this kind of behavior."
Dang.... that sealed my fate. I had to miss the Christmas program and miss eating out afterwards, because of my own words.
When we speak, we MUST keep our words, or they have no value. That is why it is also so important to not speak unless you are sure. I wasn't sure, but I spoke. I think I over reacted abit, but at the same time, felt the behavior could not be overlooked.
So sadly, Daddy, Erika and Sarah left for church and Anna and I stayed home, all dressed up with nowhere to go.
She was weeping because she really did want to go and started to say, "I said I was sorry." (she didn't)
I told her, sweety, if you had taken responsibility and said you were sorry, we wouldn't be sitting here right now.
She then became mad and started down the wrong path again. I listened to her and then I asked her to come over to the rocker with me.
So we sat at in the rocker together. Me in my Sunday dress, and her in hers, and we began to talk.
I told her about my "experience" in the middle of the night, and that I instantly knew to pray for her, and that I really felt that she was dealing with some serious anger, and I began to tell her about Anger I had as a little girl, how I didn't think my life was fair, and that I was mad about it for a long time.
For 2 hours, we were glued to the rocking chair, and as I presented the gospel to her once again, through the reason we have Christmas, and why sin exists etc.
As we sat and talked about how our loving Creator, who only wants what is best for us, came down, emptied himself of ALL HIS Glory to become a baby, child, man, and Savior, the words came to life for her. She asked lots of questions and she listened about how evil exists and sin exists in us BECAUSE of the fall. I also told her, I would rather have hardship in order to have found the Lord as my savior, than to have had an easy life, only to lose it in eternity because I never had a need for my Savior. Her final statement was, "I Never Heard the Gospel put that way"......
We talked about being thankful for hardship, and being thankful for good times. The hard times, let us know that the good times are REALLY Good! If we didn't have sin, we wouldn't understand Holiness and how Holy and Righteous God is.
It all seemed to click with her and she had a joy come over her that was so very good to see.
Then, she asked to redo that picture. She said she did care, and that even though the dress isn't her favorite, she will wear it, and she will have her picture taken in it when her sisters get back from going out with daddy.
So all in all, while our morning didn't turn out like planned, maybe it turned out as God had planned.
He is such a loving Heavenly Father. At first I wasn't glad that I had sentenced myself to stay home, but after our talk, I was glad that I did.
Here are some pictures from this a.m.
After they returned from Church:
(Anna is next door picking up the giant dog poop left in the neighbor's house by their dog. She is caring for their animals while they are on vacation)
We had all intended for this morning to be a special morning. It is Christmas Sunday. I love Christmas Sunday. It is a time for Celebrating our Savior and we were going to Attend the Morning Christmas Program. But..... something else happened, and plans changed.
When Mike and I got up this a.m., he told me about a funny dream he had, but I didn't tell him about mine. Mine wasn't funny. In fact, I'm not sure it was a dream at all. It was more of a "spiritual experience". The kind I don't like, but that have happened before. It was like I woke up to a bad presence, or oppression, and it was dark. I felt pressure and could barely move. I instantly began to pray, and speak out the name of the Lord, and then it came to my mind to pray for Anna. I began to pray for Anna, and then when drowsiness won, I went back to sleep peacefully.
So, while Mike and I were sitting peacefully by the fire, having our coffee, a little voice called from the room. Mommy, Daddy, can I come out and sit with you? It was Erika. She is so excited about her 3rd Christmas with us. While Anna and Sarah slept peacefully in the other room, we rested on the couch with Erika and enjoyed talking with her. She reminisced about Orphanage Christmases, and talked about identifying with the Character in the American Girl Movie "Samantha". Then she said, "May I never wake up from this dream!" :)
Anna and Sarah were sleeping so peacefully that we finally had to wake them. It was time to get ready for church and we were all excited to go and watch the Christmas program.
It had been agreed upon a few weeks ago that the girls would be wearing the same dresses that a relative had picked for them so sweetly. They are very pretty dresses, very FANCY, and we figured Christmas Sunday would be a good time to wear them before they get too small. :)
Anna isn't particularly fond of fancy dresses, nor is Erika, but Sarah is, so she was very excited to put hers on. Erika joyfully put hers on too.... but then there was our Anna. She wasn't joyful. Then, when mom said, Let's get a picture, she REALLY wasn't joyful. Soooo, I said, "common' Anna, we want to send a picture to your Aunt so she can see your pretty dress in front of the tree." Well, with that, came pouts, tears, and then anger. Real anger. She made some statements about not caring, etc. etc.
and we asked her one more time to just try. She pretty much refused.
So, then I stepped in, and said, "your behavior is inappropriate, and there is no reason to behave this way etc. etc. I shouldn't have followed the trail, but I did.
And it didn't help. It started to spiral in the wrong direction. So, I said, "Daddy, why don't you go ahead and take the girls to church and I will have to stay home with Anna. She is obviously in no condition to go to church, or out afterwards, we cannot reward this kind of behavior."
Dang.... that sealed my fate. I had to miss the Christmas program and miss eating out afterwards, because of my own words.
When we speak, we MUST keep our words, or they have no value. That is why it is also so important to not speak unless you are sure. I wasn't sure, but I spoke. I think I over reacted abit, but at the same time, felt the behavior could not be overlooked.
So sadly, Daddy, Erika and Sarah left for church and Anna and I stayed home, all dressed up with nowhere to go.
She was weeping because she really did want to go and started to say, "I said I was sorry." (she didn't)
I told her, sweety, if you had taken responsibility and said you were sorry, we wouldn't be sitting here right now.
She then became mad and started down the wrong path again. I listened to her and then I asked her to come over to the rocker with me.
So we sat at in the rocker together. Me in my Sunday dress, and her in hers, and we began to talk.
I told her about my "experience" in the middle of the night, and that I instantly knew to pray for her, and that I really felt that she was dealing with some serious anger, and I began to tell her about Anger I had as a little girl, how I didn't think my life was fair, and that I was mad about it for a long time.
For 2 hours, we were glued to the rocking chair, and as I presented the gospel to her once again, through the reason we have Christmas, and why sin exists etc.
As we sat and talked about how our loving Creator, who only wants what is best for us, came down, emptied himself of ALL HIS Glory to become a baby, child, man, and Savior, the words came to life for her. She asked lots of questions and she listened about how evil exists and sin exists in us BECAUSE of the fall. I also told her, I would rather have hardship in order to have found the Lord as my savior, than to have had an easy life, only to lose it in eternity because I never had a need for my Savior. Her final statement was, "I Never Heard the Gospel put that way"......
We talked about being thankful for hardship, and being thankful for good times. The hard times, let us know that the good times are REALLY Good! If we didn't have sin, we wouldn't understand Holiness and how Holy and Righteous God is.
It all seemed to click with her and she had a joy come over her that was so very good to see.
Then, she asked to redo that picture. She said she did care, and that even though the dress isn't her favorite, she will wear it, and she will have her picture taken in it when her sisters get back from going out with daddy.
So all in all, while our morning didn't turn out like planned, maybe it turned out as God had planned.
He is such a loving Heavenly Father. At first I wasn't glad that I had sentenced myself to stay home, but after our talk, I was glad that I did.
Here are some pictures from this a.m.
After they returned from Church:
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Erika The Knitting Princess
Erika learned to Knit and to Weave last year. She is one busy girl getting ready for Christmas. She made her prosthetist a great scarf in his favorite color, and is now making gifts for Christmas. Since we didn't have school today, I think she started knitting this a.m. and hasn't stopped. In fact, at about 5:00 I went to find her and give her a hug. I haven't heard a peep from her all day. She has been a busy bee!
Here she is making a gift for some lucky person. :)
Here she is making a gift for some lucky person. :)
You Tried Me Out Didn't You ?
This was the question my little Anna posed to me today..... My heart absolutely SANK!
We were having a discussion about if another child would be in our future. Would you girlies like a new sister or brother?
Anna said, "We could try one out".
My answer was, "We don't try children out... We bring them home and love them no matter what."
Her response was, "Didn't you try me out?"
NO! Heaven's NO!
"Then why did I have to go back?"
It is amazing what you can find out in simple conversations.
We had applied to adopt Anna through the foster care system. We were given an extended visit, and had hoped for more, but the social worker was not contacted in time before our visit time was up. So she legally HAD to go back to her foster home until our court date. I remember explaining it to her, but she was only 5. I rocked a sobbing child who did not want to go back. But we had no choice. All of our hearts were broken. 10 days later, we brought her home forever; but that 10 days made her think we might reject her. How AWFUL! Kids just go through the worst things. :(
So, today I sat her down and at 10 years old, she can understand what happened 5 years ago when she was 5 much better. When I explained to her why she had to go back and about the law and how we NEVER EVER EVER would just "try her out" or even consider not accepting her for who she was, she got this big smile on her face and I got a great big "I love you mommy hug!" I just love those really, really, real hugs. :)
I'm so glad we had this conversation, if for nothing else, that her understanding be cleared, that Mommy and Daddy LOVED her from the beginning and never EVER thought about "trying her out".
Anna found this silly hat in the Attic last week. I just love her smile. :)
We were having a discussion about if another child would be in our future. Would you girlies like a new sister or brother?
Anna said, "We could try one out".
My answer was, "We don't try children out... We bring them home and love them no matter what."
Her response was, "Didn't you try me out?"
NO! Heaven's NO!
"Then why did I have to go back?"
It is amazing what you can find out in simple conversations.
We had applied to adopt Anna through the foster care system. We were given an extended visit, and had hoped for more, but the social worker was not contacted in time before our visit time was up. So she legally HAD to go back to her foster home until our court date. I remember explaining it to her, but she was only 5. I rocked a sobbing child who did not want to go back. But we had no choice. All of our hearts were broken. 10 days later, we brought her home forever; but that 10 days made her think we might reject her. How AWFUL! Kids just go through the worst things. :(
So, today I sat her down and at 10 years old, she can understand what happened 5 years ago when she was 5 much better. When I explained to her why she had to go back and about the law and how we NEVER EVER EVER would just "try her out" or even consider not accepting her for who she was, she got this big smile on her face and I got a great big "I love you mommy hug!" I just love those really, really, real hugs. :)
I'm so glad we had this conversation, if for nothing else, that her understanding be cleared, that Mommy and Daddy LOVED her from the beginning and never EVER thought about "trying her out".
Anna found this silly hat in the Attic last week. I just love her smile. :)
Friday, December 19, 2008
Merry Christmas 2008
I had every intention of printing this on pretty paper with pictures and mailing it out...... ummmmm it hasn't happened. So sorry. Hopefully we will get a family picture at Christmas. So this is my attempt to send Christmas Cards. LOL
Merry Christmas Everybody!
Where did this year go? It seems that it barely started and now, here we are, almost to 2009!
This year has been a year of milestones, a year of excitement and a year of heartbreak.
All in all, it has been a full year of blessing and growing in the Lord.
So take a trip with us down Memory Lane.....
We began our year with a Family Camp at Peaceable Kingdom Retreat for Children. This camp is one of the highlights
of Erika's summer. It is now a highlight for the other girls in the winter as the whole family gets to go!
We had a wonderful time and were reunited with friends we made during the Summer over the past 2 years.
During the Summer, Erika returned to "Out On a Limb Camp" and had a wonderful time. She made some new friends and is eagerly
awaiting Winter Family Camp.
We had a fun Spring and Summer. Katie and Lillian, our grand daughters were able to spend Easter Break with us and we went to
the Dallas Zoo. Each of the girls was able to feed a Sting Ray at Sting Ray Bay! When we go to the zoo, they love to take the train
which stops right in front of the zoo. We acquired 3 new goats this year and some turkeys. The goats are named, "Sweetie-Pie, Joyful and Bryan". We are expecting goat
babies very soon. The turkeys have made it to the freezer. Of course this didn't sit well with Anna who says, she does all the hard work raising
them and I just kill them.
We enjoyed our summer, and we were able to go to the Lake a few times. We also had a fun visit with Joseph, Becca and Sam. They flew in for
a friend's wedding and it was wonderful visiting them. Erika and Sarah turned 10 and 9 in June, and Katie and Lillian turned 12 and 4. Wow, they are all growing up.
Erika was baptized by Daddy in August. She wrote a testimony that she read in front of the congregation before she was baptized. It was really a neat time.
This year I celebrated my 50th birthday by getting my hair cut and donating it to Locks of Love. I donated 14" and I wasn't bald! Just a few weeks
later, Mike and I celebrated our 19th Wedding Anniversary. We took the girlies out for a nice dinner to celebrate as we knew we were leaving a few weeks later for Ukraine.
In late August we received information about a little girl 8 years old available for adoption through disruption. She was also from Ukraine and her birthday was in June too. After speaking with the counselor and the mother for a few hours, the mother told us she had picked up to be the family of this little girl. Then, the counselor went on vacation and we didn't hear from the mother who was supposed to call us the next day. She didn't so I sent an email for information so we could pick the little girl up. The mother abruptly changed her mind and placed the little girl with a different family. She said she didn't want to wait. I was abit heart broken, but knew that if the Lord had wanted her to be with us, she would be. So we rested in Him.
I have thought about this situation a few times over the last months and if anything is to be learned from it, it is that we are open to having more children in our home.
In September we flew Becca and Sam in from D.C. to stay with the girlies while Mike and I flew to Ukraine for a short term missions trip. It was a wonderful trip and we were so thrilled to be able to go back to the orphanage where Sarah and Erika both used to live. We had a warm welcome there and we were so happy to be able to minister to the children in several orphanages and the TB Sanitarium in the Kharkiv area. We also had a quick peak at the Ukrainian border with Russia, but a soldier turned us back saying "Now that you have seen, go back!" Yikes..... but it was worth it. :) I also found out that Dart trains are not crowded at all! In fact they are nearly empty even when they "seem" crowded. If you want to know what it is like to get on a "crowded" train, catch a train in Kiev's metro. WOW! I think I was shoe horned in, and the great thing is you can't fall down because there is no room to move!
While in Kharkiv Ukraine, we were able to meet up with a friend that I only know from the computer. She was there adopting a 3 year old little girl with Spastic Diplegia. When she arrived, the weather was warm, but was turning quite cold and she needed some supplies. We brought some things
she needed with us and met up at a restaurant with her Translator. Her translator was very sweet and had pictures of US and Erika on display somewhere in Kiev! My friend plans to send us a CD of his artwork.
When we returned from Ukraine, we had 1 week to prepare for Sarah to have Surgery. She had surgery to shorten the bone in her amputated leg, and to stabalize the knee. She also had tendon surgery on her arm to help her have control of her wrist which was not functioning. The surgery was successful but the recouperation time has been long. She is just now beginning to walk around with her old leg on as I type this in December.
In the mean time, Erika outgrew her legs completely and is anxiously awaiting new ones to be finished. We are hoping for a before Christmas delivery.
Mike's gramma died right before Thanksgiving and that made us sad. She was 93 and died the day after her birthday. We will miss her.
Uncle Bob came for Thanksgiving this year and we had a good "backgammon filled" visit with him. He has been practicing with the computer!
Erika enjoyed playing Backgammon with Uncle Dave and Jake, Thanksgiving Day, on Yahoo games. Chuck, Jodie, Katie and Lillian also came for Thanksgiving. We really enjoyed having them. Chuck is working hard on his music, getting ready to record a second album, while Jodie works hard at her job. Katie is playing the Oboe in the school band and Lillian is in Pre K.
Joseph and Becca were able to visit Idaho with Sam, to see Becca's Mom and Dad and also Dabba. He is also in Seminary in Washington D.C.
Marcus and Ivy gave us some big news on Thanksgiving Day..... We are gonna be grandparents again in 2009! Marcus also started Graduate School this year for Accounting.
Timothy and Emily have been foster parents and 4 children have gone through their home this year. 1 baby was adopted, 1 girl went back home,
1 girl went to a different home and they are now fostering a very sweet 13 year old boy who originally came to the U.S. from Ukraine. Tim is enjoying substitute teaching and has decided that he really has a special love for Special Education. He has been taking more classes to be certified for Special Ed.
Anna's 10th birthday was on Thanksgiving Day this year. This also marked her 5th year with us. We are so proud of how far she has come.
She was with us on her 5th Birthday 5 years ago which also happened to be on Thanksgiving Day.
I have kept busy with blogging, and have enjoyed reading everybody else's blogs. Blogging is sort of like having a diary without a lock and then there is an invitation sent to come and read all about it. Quite different from the diary's of years gone by. :) The girlies have a blog too so they can learn how to type and have some fun along the way. Mike has an electric car blog too.
Mike's big news is that he is now the proud owner of a totally electric car. It was manufactured in the 1980s and is quite fun to drive around town.
We are thankful for all of the blessings we have had this year. We are thankful for all of our children, their wives and our grand children. We are thankful to have the opportunity to continue to minister to those around us and for the very special friendships we have.
May the Lord Bless All of you this coming year and bring you Peace and Happiness.
Merry Christmas
The Minich Family
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Still No Legs.......
We had our appointment for a final fitting today for Erika, and it failed to produce what we had hoped for. What they have decided to do for now, is to make a pair of legs like her first set, that have a window that locks on. That way, she can get back to walking, and they can continue to experiment with the newer legs and try to get them to work for her.
The problem is, that she has a very tiny calf, and a larger end at the ankle where the amputation took place. It is a problem, but not one that can't be solved. She has grown a lot and that is part of the problem. So in 3 weeks, she will wear her new temporary pair of legs home.
Sarah was fitted again today, and in 3 weeks she will be fitted and aligned and then most likely have her new leg in 4 weeks time.
YEA! This has been a very long ordeal, but we are thankful. The Lord uses these things in our lives to teach us patience and make us thankful for what we do have.
The problem is, that she has a very tiny calf, and a larger end at the ankle where the amputation took place. It is a problem, but not one that can't be solved. She has grown a lot and that is part of the problem. So in 3 weeks, she will wear her new temporary pair of legs home.
Sarah was fitted again today, and in 3 weeks she will be fitted and aligned and then most likely have her new leg in 4 weeks time.
YEA! This has been a very long ordeal, but we are thankful. The Lord uses these things in our lives to teach us patience and make us thankful for what we do have.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Its The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
I just LOVE it when the weather turns cold. We get to make great use of the wood stove. It is fun watching the flames through the glass door. That little wood stove heats our entire home and it does a great job. We have been maintaining 72º and sometimes 75º.
Here are some pictures of Anna and Sarah enjoying the fire.
Alright Girlies:
What did Adam say to Eve the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas Eve! :)
Here are some pictures of Anna and Sarah enjoying the fire.
Alright Girlies:
What did Adam say to Eve the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas Eve! :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Passing Notes During Class
Hmmmm. If you are home schooled, and there are only 3 students in your entire school, should you get in trouble for passing notes in class? :)
When I got out the camera, Sarah said, "Oh no! She's going to BLOG about it!" Aha! My new weapon. :) If you do something against the school rules, it might be Blogged About! LOL
It is hard concentrating with that big illuminating TREE 2 feet from your desk, screaming "Christmas is Coming, Christmas is coming!" But they are doing pretty well.
Erika's funny for the day:
She is working on math... The question is: How many 5 cent stamps can you buy if you have 18cents, and how much money will be left over?
Her answer?
NONE.. Stamps cost 41 cents.
:)
I just love kids. :)
When I got out the camera, Sarah said, "Oh no! She's going to BLOG about it!" Aha! My new weapon. :) If you do something against the school rules, it might be Blogged About! LOL
It is hard concentrating with that big illuminating TREE 2 feet from your desk, screaming "Christmas is Coming, Christmas is coming!" But they are doing pretty well.
Erika's funny for the day:
She is working on math... The question is: How many 5 cent stamps can you buy if you have 18cents, and how much money will be left over?
Her answer?
NONE.. Stamps cost 41 cents.
:)
I just love kids. :)
Family Rituals
Early in the morning, many times Sarah is the first one up and she and daddy will sit together by the computer or by the fire place and talk. I layed in bed this a.m. a little extra longer, just so they could be together and not be interrupted by my busyness of getting breakfast ready. So until I heard daddy say, "I can't believe mommy is still sleeping, she must have been tired!" I layed there joyfully listening to their sweet exchange.
One of the things they do in the a.m. is sing a sweet made up song.
He'll say, "My daughter", she'll respond "My daddy", and then they make up everything from there. It is funny and sweet and they both seem to just love doing their song.
Family rituals are so important and they are the memory makers, which is one of the ingredients in the glue that holds the fabric of a family together. These rituals do not take loads of money, they do not take huge planning efforts for expensive vacations. We have little rituals that are different with each girl. They simply just happen and they are from the heart.
Monday, December 15, 2008
A Good Memory Maker
There are those times when you sit back and say, "Wow, I am seeing something really special." Saturday was one of those days.
We have a ritual on Friday Nights, after pizza night where everybody piles into our room and watches a movie to go to sleep to. The girlies get piles of blankets and sleeping bags and watch a movie in the dark, while Mommy and Daddy rest comfortably on our bed. When the guys were little, we all camped out in the living room, but geriatric mommy's back can't take that kind of camping out anymore. :)
(SO I get to carry on the tradition, but I get to have my bed!)
The girlies watched "The Secret of Roan Inish" It is a folk tale, and kind of a strange little movie, but it is also fun.
Well, in the morning, the girls wanted to play "Roan Inish". "How will you do that?"
We're going to fix up the attic for you and daddy and surprise you!
In the movie, a little boy and girl go to an island and fix up an old cottage and surprise their grand parents.
They insisted they could do it, and it would be FUN! So Anna and Sarah went into the attic, which will someday be a large play room or library or sewing room or kid room, or something...... ??
And they began to clean. Things were going well, but they realized Erika was left out. She couldn't get up there. Anna came down and handed her a walkie talkie, and asked to borrow the camera.
I asked, "why do you need the camera?" Her answer was, "we need to take pictures so Erika can see what we are doing." Erika was given the Walkie Talkie so they could talk to her and let her know to be at the bottom of the stairs so they could throw something down for her to throw away.
It was a very creative and fun filled afternoon.
Sarah also got reaquainted with her old doll house. It was in the attic to keep it from getting destroyed. She wasn't very gentle at 5. :)
I just thought it was so thoughtful of them to come up with a way where everybody could be included, but not miss doing something because Erika couldn't go upstairs.
I love these moments.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Tis the Season
FOR ADOPTION!
I am so very excited. I know 2 people over seas right now, adopting little ones.
I also have a good friend here in our area ready to leave to go and get a little one here in the U.S. They are adopting through disruption and so very excited!
Please pray for each of these families that travels will be safe, the children will be secure and that each family will bond well with their new children.
In a short time, 4 more children will no longer be orphans, but sons and daughters and they will BELONG! Belong to a REAL Family, and they will be LOVED and CHERISHED!
I am so happy for the love these families will pour into these children.
It just makes my heart sing with Joy!
If you are considering adoption. GO FOR IT! It is the most wonderful, life fulfilling, exciting, life changing event. And you can do it again if you've already done it once. :)
There are orphans all around us that just need a chance; a chance for a home and parents and a new start.
Got a spare bedroom? Think about filling it with love.
God speed to those abroad..... bring your children home soon! :)
I am so very excited. I know 2 people over seas right now, adopting little ones.
I also have a good friend here in our area ready to leave to go and get a little one here in the U.S. They are adopting through disruption and so very excited!
Please pray for each of these families that travels will be safe, the children will be secure and that each family will bond well with their new children.
In a short time, 4 more children will no longer be orphans, but sons and daughters and they will BELONG! Belong to a REAL Family, and they will be LOVED and CHERISHED!
I am so happy for the love these families will pour into these children.
It just makes my heart sing with Joy!
If you are considering adoption. GO FOR IT! It is the most wonderful, life fulfilling, exciting, life changing event. And you can do it again if you've already done it once. :)
There are orphans all around us that just need a chance; a chance for a home and parents and a new start.
Got a spare bedroom? Think about filling it with love.
God speed to those abroad..... bring your children home soon! :)
LOVE: The Stuff of It
A good friend, whom I have never met in person but long to someday, here or there, wrote a post about love and if she loved her adoptive children any less than her bio children. It was a thought provoking post.
I have never really thought about things like she placed into her words, other than the "arranged marriage" part.
Love, is a decision. It is an action. It is a verb. It does not show favoritism, and it is patient, and kind. Love bears ALL things, HOPES all things, ENDURES all things. IT rejoices in truth. It puts the other person before yourself.
Love does not boast or envy it is not arrogant or rude or insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful and does not rejoice in WRONGdoing.
Without Christ, none of us can really LOVE anybody properly, no matter how we know them: friends, family, parents or children. We also have this dang thing called a Sin nature that can get in our way.
BUT GOD.....
He showed us in His word how to LOVE, by the LOVE HE poured into US. He did not withhold His love from us, but SENT HIS SON and gave him to us as a gift, WHILE we HATED HIM! HE LOVED US! We love him, BECAUSE HE FIRST loved us.
As we come to know our Savior more, we come to LOVE Him more. We become more familiar with him. Because of His outpouring of love INTO us, we cannot help but respond. As our husbands pour their love into us, we cannot help but respond, ands as we pour our love into our children, they cannot help but respond. As time goes on, and those responses are reciprocol, our love deepens to a different level. It is that familial level of trust.
I remember visiting Erika for the very first time at the orphanage. We did not really know what to expect, as we had been told "her joint don't work". That was all we knew. She was adorable, but she also had a terrible smell. LOL It was hard to wrap my arms around her and embrace her fully, but I did. I put myself aside, and LOVED HER. (I just breathed through my mouth) LOL I wonder if the Lord does the same when we come to Him. We are pretty stinky, but he fully embraces us.
I remember thinking when we walked away: "Wow, I have a nearly 8 year old girl whom I just showed love to, and I don't even know her. NOTHING about her!" But oh am I ever excited to get caught up.
The first thing we did when we could, was give her a big bath! Then I saw this little girl with a personality all her own emerge. She wasn't a baby. She was a 1/2 grown child, AND it was hard to cuddle her because of her joint problem, she didn't bend.
She was also way more interested in Daddy than mommy. She had had enough caretakers in her life that were women who didn't treat her very well.
So my love also had to be patient. Those first weeks I did most of the bathing and feeding and cleaning and singing and reading, and daddy got all the fun. LOL I didn't push myself onto her or pressure her for affection.
I would say she is still very much a daddy's girl, but that is ok. It is just her.
I was a daddy's girl too.
But with time being the great equalizer, and TRUST being established that yet another woman wouldn't disappoint or hurt her, she is very affectionate towards me too.
She adores us both and both of us adore her.
As time has gone on, the longer our children are with us, I forget that they were once somewhere else or somebody else's. I honestly do. I will get reminded when the girls ask about when their brother's were babies or I share a funny story with them. The conversation always goes to the girls saying, "Oh mommy, I wish you held me when I was a baby!" I can only tell them, "I'm holding you now. And we are making up for lost time." That is when I get reminded. Oh yea. It makes me sad, yet it makes me see how far we have come as a family.
I KNOW that time will come for my dear friend too, and it will be precious.
She loves her children with her whole heart. In her words, she would lay down her life for them. And that is exactly what true love is; laying down one's life for another.
I have never really thought about things like she placed into her words, other than the "arranged marriage" part.
Love, is a decision. It is an action. It is a verb. It does not show favoritism, and it is patient, and kind. Love bears ALL things, HOPES all things, ENDURES all things. IT rejoices in truth. It puts the other person before yourself.
Love does not boast or envy it is not arrogant or rude or insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful and does not rejoice in WRONGdoing.
Without Christ, none of us can really LOVE anybody properly, no matter how we know them: friends, family, parents or children. We also have this dang thing called a Sin nature that can get in our way.
BUT GOD.....
He showed us in His word how to LOVE, by the LOVE HE poured into US. He did not withhold His love from us, but SENT HIS SON and gave him to us as a gift, WHILE we HATED HIM! HE LOVED US! We love him, BECAUSE HE FIRST loved us.
As we come to know our Savior more, we come to LOVE Him more. We become more familiar with him. Because of His outpouring of love INTO us, we cannot help but respond. As our husbands pour their love into us, we cannot help but respond, ands as we pour our love into our children, they cannot help but respond. As time goes on, and those responses are reciprocol, our love deepens to a different level. It is that familial level of trust.
I remember visiting Erika for the very first time at the orphanage. We did not really know what to expect, as we had been told "her joint don't work". That was all we knew. She was adorable, but she also had a terrible smell. LOL It was hard to wrap my arms around her and embrace her fully, but I did. I put myself aside, and LOVED HER. (I just breathed through my mouth) LOL I wonder if the Lord does the same when we come to Him. We are pretty stinky, but he fully embraces us.
I remember thinking when we walked away: "Wow, I have a nearly 8 year old girl whom I just showed love to, and I don't even know her. NOTHING about her!" But oh am I ever excited to get caught up.
The first thing we did when we could, was give her a big bath! Then I saw this little girl with a personality all her own emerge. She wasn't a baby. She was a 1/2 grown child, AND it was hard to cuddle her because of her joint problem, she didn't bend.
She was also way more interested in Daddy than mommy. She had had enough caretakers in her life that were women who didn't treat her very well.
So my love also had to be patient. Those first weeks I did most of the bathing and feeding and cleaning and singing and reading, and daddy got all the fun. LOL I didn't push myself onto her or pressure her for affection.
I would say she is still very much a daddy's girl, but that is ok. It is just her.
I was a daddy's girl too.
But with time being the great equalizer, and TRUST being established that yet another woman wouldn't disappoint or hurt her, she is very affectionate towards me too.
She adores us both and both of us adore her.
As time has gone on, the longer our children are with us, I forget that they were once somewhere else or somebody else's. I honestly do. I will get reminded when the girls ask about when their brother's were babies or I share a funny story with them. The conversation always goes to the girls saying, "Oh mommy, I wish you held me when I was a baby!" I can only tell them, "I'm holding you now. And we are making up for lost time." That is when I get reminded. Oh yea. It makes me sad, yet it makes me see how far we have come as a family.
I KNOW that time will come for my dear friend too, and it will be precious.
She loves her children with her whole heart. In her words, she would lay down her life for them. And that is exactly what true love is; laying down one's life for another.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
New Playlist
I put my music back, but just 3 songs. I miss those three songs. :)
If you are a person who doesn't like to listen to music when you read,
just click on the pause or stop button and it will not play. :)
If you are a person who doesn't like to listen to music when you read,
just click on the pause or stop button and it will not play. :)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Cookies on Display
The girlies got very creative:
Erika did one with her initial, and the tree. Sarah did the rainbow and Anna did the flower.
Erika did one with her initial, and the tree. Sarah did the rainbow and Anna did the flower.
The Great Chain Breaker
I remember long ago reading about abuse, alcoholism, and any other ism you want to think of. Psychologists and psychiatrists said, these things run in families, they are disorders, they run in cycles; chances are, if you were abused, you will abuse, if your parents were alcoholics, you will be too, etc.
We live in the age of "diagnosis". There is a diagnosis for EVERYTHING! I could probably have a few of those myself if I took a few tests. I'm sure ADD would be at the top of my list.
There is SOME truth to man's wisdom. There always is; otherwise the lie would be easy to recognize and we wouldn't become trapped into a "diagnosis" that offers no hope. Yes, that is what I said.
Let me clarify: I am not anti counseling, or anti therapy IF, the counseling is to give the parent ideas for helping their child and the therapy is also done under the same guideline. Meaning: minimal invasion into the child's life and most of the help to be to given the parent for coping ideas for themselves AND their child.
I am compelled to write this, as after speaking with somebody this a.m. that called very discouraged. They have had a child for all of 4 weeks and have seen GREAT improvements with him, only to be told in a diagnostics situation that his life is a puzzle of a thousand pieces and he will be working on them the rest of his life to put those pieces together and will be lucky if he gets 3 pieces to the puzzle to fit.
This very caring person's heart was shot down to the ground and then some, by some grim, short sighted, test giving, BLIND, counselor.
I have met the child and he is in NO WAY the picture painted. PULEEEZE!!!!!!! And then that counselor charges his money, and says, "NEXT".
BULL PUCKEY FEATHERS, HOGWASH, MALARKEY, THAT IS JUST A BUNCH OF HOO HAW!!!!
WHAT ABOUT THE GREAT CHAIN BREAKER? WHAT ABOUT THE LORD? WHAT ABOUT DIVINE INTERVENTION? WHAT ABOUT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? WHAT ABOUT IT?
I don't know, but the last time I looked, weird was not a mental disorder, nor was it an attachment disorder. Lack of social skills is not RAD. It is lack of social skills.
I am really getting annoyed that RAD is being so overly diagnosed. And that diagnosis is having a backfire effect on the adoption community. People FEAR it.
When one of our daughters came home to us, she was in the "severe" category for emotional diagnosis. SEVERE at 5? Oh my! There is a horrific history in her background of abuse, drug abuse, alcoholism, and abandoning children etc.
Oh were we ever on our knees for a miracle break in that chain that could possibly bind her. This is not just an emotional battle but a spiritual battle as well. We continue on our knees to this day. She is doing awesome, and we pray that she will continue to break free. But it hasn't happened overnight, just as she didn't become neglected and abused over night. It happened over time, and it will take time to heal.
Backtracking to make things right is a lot harder than doing things right in the first place.
Do special children who come from Trauma backgrounds need special parenting techniques? Yes and no. It is probably more like, we all need to parent in a special way that will guide our children to the Lord. Being an example to them, and dropping the commonly seen sinful, angry parenting styles that are easy to fall into might be a good idea for starters. :) And that goes for ALL kids.
There is a big difference between Righteous Anger and Unbridled, you have bugged me and now I'm mad anger. Or Righteous anger and You hurt my feelings anger.
It is also safe to say that being SLOW to anger is a good thing.But GOD is SLOW TO ANGER, not willing that anyone should perish. (Righteous ANGER does not sin)
Also, that does NOT mean SLOW to DISCIPLE our children. We should be quick and and willing at all time to take the opportunity to disciple and teach our children to bring about understanding, correction and stability in their lives.
So when the counselor said, "he will never change", that is SO not right. He already HAS! Will it be on our "schedule" of when he should do things? Maybe not, but he is an individual person, not a cookie cutter person. And the most important things he can learn in life are of eternal value. He is already learning them.
I believe as he begins to unfold the understanding of the "spiritual" in his life, those puzzle pieces will begin to fit into place with greater ease. But he is a kid.
It took me a long time to unfold my life; to understand some things that were very painful, but that is life for everybody. It is a part of growing up.
I am so thankful for Jesus Christ in my life. He is the great Chain Breaker. He is the great intervener, and he takes broken and cracked pots to make them whole again.
Sometimes he crushes them and remakes them altogether, but HE DOES IT!
There is NO SUCH THING as NO HOPE. Man's wisdom says, "You can't." God's wisdom says, "I can Do ALL THINGS in Christ who Strenghtens Me."
And in the case of our own little girl; she is a beautiful, wonderful work in progress and I am EVER so thankful for the lessons she has taught me. :)
We live in the age of "diagnosis". There is a diagnosis for EVERYTHING! I could probably have a few of those myself if I took a few tests. I'm sure ADD would be at the top of my list.
There is SOME truth to man's wisdom. There always is; otherwise the lie would be easy to recognize and we wouldn't become trapped into a "diagnosis" that offers no hope. Yes, that is what I said.
Let me clarify: I am not anti counseling, or anti therapy IF, the counseling is to give the parent ideas for helping their child and the therapy is also done under the same guideline. Meaning: minimal invasion into the child's life and most of the help to be to given the parent for coping ideas for themselves AND their child.
I am compelled to write this, as after speaking with somebody this a.m. that called very discouraged. They have had a child for all of 4 weeks and have seen GREAT improvements with him, only to be told in a diagnostics situation that his life is a puzzle of a thousand pieces and he will be working on them the rest of his life to put those pieces together and will be lucky if he gets 3 pieces to the puzzle to fit.
This very caring person's heart was shot down to the ground and then some, by some grim, short sighted, test giving, BLIND, counselor.
I have met the child and he is in NO WAY the picture painted. PULEEEZE!!!!!!! And then that counselor charges his money, and says, "NEXT".
BULL PUCKEY FEATHERS, HOGWASH, MALARKEY, THAT IS JUST A BUNCH OF HOO HAW!!!!
WHAT ABOUT THE GREAT CHAIN BREAKER? WHAT ABOUT THE LORD? WHAT ABOUT DIVINE INTERVENTION? WHAT ABOUT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? WHAT ABOUT IT?
I don't know, but the last time I looked, weird was not a mental disorder, nor was it an attachment disorder. Lack of social skills is not RAD. It is lack of social skills.
I am really getting annoyed that RAD is being so overly diagnosed. And that diagnosis is having a backfire effect on the adoption community. People FEAR it.
When one of our daughters came home to us, she was in the "severe" category for emotional diagnosis. SEVERE at 5? Oh my! There is a horrific history in her background of abuse, drug abuse, alcoholism, and abandoning children etc.
Oh were we ever on our knees for a miracle break in that chain that could possibly bind her. This is not just an emotional battle but a spiritual battle as well. We continue on our knees to this day. She is doing awesome, and we pray that she will continue to break free. But it hasn't happened overnight, just as she didn't become neglected and abused over night. It happened over time, and it will take time to heal.
Backtracking to make things right is a lot harder than doing things right in the first place.
Do special children who come from Trauma backgrounds need special parenting techniques? Yes and no. It is probably more like, we all need to parent in a special way that will guide our children to the Lord. Being an example to them, and dropping the commonly seen sinful, angry parenting styles that are easy to fall into might be a good idea for starters. :) And that goes for ALL kids.
There is a big difference between Righteous Anger and Unbridled, you have bugged me and now I'm mad anger. Or Righteous anger and You hurt my feelings anger.
It is also safe to say that being SLOW to anger is a good thing.But GOD is SLOW TO ANGER, not willing that anyone should perish. (Righteous ANGER does not sin)
Also, that does NOT mean SLOW to DISCIPLE our children. We should be quick and and willing at all time to take the opportunity to disciple and teach our children to bring about understanding, correction and stability in their lives.
So when the counselor said, "he will never change", that is SO not right. He already HAS! Will it be on our "schedule" of when he should do things? Maybe not, but he is an individual person, not a cookie cutter person. And the most important things he can learn in life are of eternal value. He is already learning them.
I believe as he begins to unfold the understanding of the "spiritual" in his life, those puzzle pieces will begin to fit into place with greater ease. But he is a kid.
It took me a long time to unfold my life; to understand some things that were very painful, but that is life for everybody. It is a part of growing up.
I am so thankful for Jesus Christ in my life. He is the great Chain Breaker. He is the great intervener, and he takes broken and cracked pots to make them whole again.
Sometimes he crushes them and remakes them altogether, but HE DOES IT!
There is NO SUCH THING as NO HOPE. Man's wisdom says, "You can't." God's wisdom says, "I can Do ALL THINGS in Christ who Strenghtens Me."
And in the case of our own little girl; she is a beautiful, wonderful work in progress and I am EVER so thankful for the lessons she has taught me. :)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Forgiveness
One of the most amazing things about Christianity, is the idea of Forgiveness. No, not the idea, the CONCRETE FACT of forgiveness. It is a primary part of true Christianity.
Without the Atonement,the Blood Sacrifice of Christ, there would be no FORGIVENESS. Without FORGIVENESS, there would be no eternal life, and we would all be condemned.
I was watching a documentary the other day on the massacre in Rwanda. Oh what a heart wrenching, disastrous time it was. 800,000 people were massacared in less than 3 months. But what struck me in the documentary was a simple woman. She was just a simple village woman. She lived a very simple life with her husband and 5 children.
But, in one night, as she fled for her life, her husband and 5 children were massacared
by their neighbor. He answered the call of evil, and acted upon it, just as many neighbors did. It is hard to fathom, but it happened.
But, here she was sitting in front of her home weaving a basket with the neighbor's wife; her friend. And in the next scene, she was serving dinner to the man who massacared her husband and children, eating with him and breaking bread with him.
She was asked: "How could you forgive him?"
Her answer was very simple. "He asked. There is nothing that can bring my family back."
After this man spent 6 years in prison for his crimes, he was brought back to a tribunal to face those he harmed, and he humbly asked, publicly,for forgiveness.
Another thing that caught my attention was the humility of the murderer. He humbly asked for forgiveness and he received food from the person he hurt so very much. They were neighbors once again.
This may sound extreme and it is. But there is some basic truth here that is very important.
This helped me to see why in scripture it says one of the things the Lord HATES is pride. Proverbs 8:13 says, "The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride, Arrogance and the way of evil, and perverted speech I hate."
If this man had not humbled himself and asked for forgiveness, he would not have been able to receive forgiveness from this poor woman, and she could continue to be harmed in her spirit.
There would be unsettled business. The rejection of forgiveness by being unrepentant and prideful is another deplorable act against the individual.
This woman said she is a Christian and I believe her. The scripture is clear that we are to forgive those who harm us and sin against us.
Why is it so hard for us to forgive sometimes?
Jesus Came to atone for our sin, yet He was rejected. His forgiveness was for those who would receive it, yet there were those who refused His offer. Pride and Arrogance kept them from receiving what was offered to them. Instead, they chose death, and to walk in Darkness. John 3:19 says, "And this is the judgment, the light has come into the world and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil."
One of the most painful things we can experience is the desire to forgive somebody, and yet be rejected by them. So we offer our forgiveness, lay it out there for them to receive, but it really is up to them to take it, and it is up to us to keep a forgiving heart. This can only be done by the power of the Spirit working in our lives.
This is a theme that we have discussed many times with our children. They have had so many hurts in their little lives, yet must come to a place of forgiveness, as Christ has forgiven us. They do not get to see the other person accept their forgiveness or know if they are even sorry.
But offering forgiveness sets them free to love. It moves them to a new place in life. It has been taken care of before the Lord, and in that place, we can find the healing hand of God on our hearts.
Without the Atonement,the Blood Sacrifice of Christ, there would be no FORGIVENESS. Without FORGIVENESS, there would be no eternal life, and we would all be condemned.
I was watching a documentary the other day on the massacre in Rwanda. Oh what a heart wrenching, disastrous time it was. 800,000 people were massacared in less than 3 months. But what struck me in the documentary was a simple woman. She was just a simple village woman. She lived a very simple life with her husband and 5 children.
But, in one night, as she fled for her life, her husband and 5 children were massacared
by their neighbor. He answered the call of evil, and acted upon it, just as many neighbors did. It is hard to fathom, but it happened.
But, here she was sitting in front of her home weaving a basket with the neighbor's wife; her friend. And in the next scene, she was serving dinner to the man who massacared her husband and children, eating with him and breaking bread with him.
She was asked: "How could you forgive him?"
Her answer was very simple. "He asked. There is nothing that can bring my family back."
After this man spent 6 years in prison for his crimes, he was brought back to a tribunal to face those he harmed, and he humbly asked, publicly,for forgiveness.
Another thing that caught my attention was the humility of the murderer. He humbly asked for forgiveness and he received food from the person he hurt so very much. They were neighbors once again.
This may sound extreme and it is. But there is some basic truth here that is very important.
This helped me to see why in scripture it says one of the things the Lord HATES is pride. Proverbs 8:13 says, "The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride, Arrogance and the way of evil, and perverted speech I hate."
If this man had not humbled himself and asked for forgiveness, he would not have been able to receive forgiveness from this poor woman, and she could continue to be harmed in her spirit.
There would be unsettled business. The rejection of forgiveness by being unrepentant and prideful is another deplorable act against the individual.
This woman said she is a Christian and I believe her. The scripture is clear that we are to forgive those who harm us and sin against us.
Why is it so hard for us to forgive sometimes?
Jesus Came to atone for our sin, yet He was rejected. His forgiveness was for those who would receive it, yet there were those who refused His offer. Pride and Arrogance kept them from receiving what was offered to them. Instead, they chose death, and to walk in Darkness. John 3:19 says, "And this is the judgment, the light has come into the world and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil."
One of the most painful things we can experience is the desire to forgive somebody, and yet be rejected by them. So we offer our forgiveness, lay it out there for them to receive, but it really is up to them to take it, and it is up to us to keep a forgiving heart. This can only be done by the power of the Spirit working in our lives.
This is a theme that we have discussed many times with our children. They have had so many hurts in their little lives, yet must come to a place of forgiveness, as Christ has forgiven us. They do not get to see the other person accept their forgiveness or know if they are even sorry.
But offering forgiveness sets them free to love. It moves them to a new place in life. It has been taken care of before the Lord, and in that place, we can find the healing hand of God on our hearts.
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