Creating Lasting Holiday Memories

What are some of the things ya'll do every year that make new, positive and lasting memories for your children?

Many years ago, when we were very poor, we couldn't afford Christmas Ornaments, so I had this bright Idea to bake cookies with hooks in them to decorate our tree.  I had to fabulous Dutch Christmas Cookie Recipe, and hooks were cheap! 
Our tree was so pretty with all those cookies. But our baby Marcus, found out that they ornaments tasted WONDERFUL.  I caught him licking them, and  then, I saw ANTS! Apparently the ants thought they tasted good too! I think we were the only family on the block that had an ant poison jar under our tree. LOL
Over the years, we kept up that tradition, and we do it to this day, 30 plus years later.   We have always had assembly line cookie decorating day, and the cookies get put on the tree and then disappear with just hooks left. :)  It really is fun, and I have wonderful memories of this practice. 
It is something we all look forward to.

7 years ago, we started decorating Ginger Bread Houses.  It is now a tradition. Our grand girls have always come over to help, and this year, sadly (sniff) they won't be here, as they moved to Albuquerque.... but I'm sure they will do their own, and we can share pictures. :)

This year I bought two sets because the grandsons will be here to decorate.  I'm hope to have one for the girls and one for the boys.  I can't wait to see them get all messy and see those little smiles. :)

Here is a post from last year's decorating.

We love to make our own ornaments and we add to the tree each year.  For many years, most everything on our tree was home made.  Now it is a combo of purchased ornaments and home made.

The girl's tradition has been to buy a new ornament from Hobby Lobby each year. They get to pick one.  This has really, REALLY helped them in transitioning bad memories to good memories.  It is funny how little things like this done repeatedly, reboot the brain and teach us different responses over time, replacing our traumatic memory with good memories.  It does take time, but it happens!

I think keeping busy with planned activity is a good way to get through the season.  We like to sing Christmas music and the girls as well as the boys love to put on skits.  We have a big celebration at Church and this year we will all be participating. 

We try not to emphasize too much in the gift department, although we do give gifts.  We also like to do angel tree, or find a family in need and the children get to shoppe for that family.  It really is enjoyable to see them give.

Cooking is a big deal....and trying out recipes make for great bonding time in the kitchen.  This is something that is different with our girls. Our guys were great taste testers, but not that interested in Food Science. The girls however, love to cook. :)

I am really thrilled to see my girlies facing the Holiday season with excitement.  It is catchy, ya know. :)

LISTS ALREADY!

These girls are so funny.  Anna's birthday is coming up the day after Thanksgiving, so we were talking cake, and favorite movie.....

It is the first day we have really had a good, dreary, Fall like type day that makes it feel "Holidayish". :)

I got out of the shower to some little list makers. :)  Yep, they are thinking about Christmas already! LOL
Makes me want to put Holiday music on. :)

I  love it that they are making lists.

I remember not long ago when the idea of a gift was so foreign. After much thought, Erika asked for a comb.  She has become too smart. One of the things on her list was for me to do her chores! LOL

Sometimes The Boom Has To Be Lowered

I was pretty sad tonight when Sarah and Erika decided to keep goofing off in bed.  They were teasing each other and laughing and having a good time.  I gave the warning blow..... "Please be quiet and go to sleep!"  Five minutes later, they were back at it.....

So, I sent Erika to the guest room to sleep.  (Anna is supposed to be sleeping in there, but she misses her sisters, and sleeps in the other room)

Then, I hear these loud sobs coming from Sarah.   "Sarah, did I not tell you to go to sleep quietly?"
"YES"!  But I CAN'T SLEEP BY MYSELF!!!! Sob Sob.....
I NEED ERIKA!!!!

"Well you should have thought of that before you disobeyed!"
"I KNOW!" sob sob.....

Poor baby.....
I was nearly ready to bring Erika back in the room and then I heard......."NOTHING!"
SILENCE!!!!!!

They are all asleep. :)

I think they finally used all their words for the day. :)
I just love those little girlies. :)

Our Time Line

 We made our Timeline today.  I have been wanting to do this, and today we got the gumption. :)
I love the idea of a visible time line, so when you study History, Art, Music, Science, Exploration, or any subject really, you can put a picture in your mind of where that occurred in History.

We plan to fill our time line with information over the next year as we study our lessons.
The girlies had a good time decorating the Time Periods. We didn't have room for a modern days one, but we'll get there.... it isn't that important right now, as we are not studying modern days. :)

Forgive the mess..... If you double click on the pictures, you can see the time line above the themes.
That is where we will be putting stickers, dates, events etc.

I hope to have it decorated with all sorts of things we have studied.

November is Adoption Awareness Month

There are thousands of Children who are in Foster Care in Texas alone, who are also available for adoption!  There are over hundreds of thousands of orphans world wide.   Each of them have a name, a story, a life to live.

Many of us sit in our homes, filled with rooms of unused furniture, unstained carpets and silence.
Why do we do that?

Our lives are not our own. They belong to God, if we will let Him lead.

Nobody ever said adoption was easy.  It is exciting and challenging and life changing. 
Adoption makes us very aware of our own sinfulness and selfishness, and in the process
allows us to truly open ourselves before the Lord to change our stone filled hearts.

Adoption awareness month should also remind us of our OWN adoption in Christ. We are adopted sons and daughters of the Most High!  What an awesome thing to own.  We can call the creator of the Universe, the one who hung the moon and stars and knows every part of us.... Abba, or Daddy.

Happy Adoption Awareness Month

My Amazingly Perfect Taco

YUMMMM!
2 Corn tortillas cooked until crisp in a little oil
Head Country Salsa
Chicken Fajita Meat
Avocado Slices
Mexican Cheese
ALL GLUTEN FREE!

Erika's New Doo

One lesson I learned.  When cutting hair, never say, "oops".... made my poor baby cry. LOL  I fixed the oops.... it was just a teeny oops... and we all recovered.  :)

Here is our "blooper picture".... I told Sarah, this should be titled, "Erika and Cousin It". :)

Our New Little Grand Guys!

I am so excited. Adoption papers have been signed for Joseph and Christoper!  We can now post pictures of our new grand sons. :)

Joseph, is the oldest. He is 4.  Christopher is 3.   Tim and Em are so blessed to have these little guys in their lives and so are we!  They are doing AWESOME!  The first weekend home, I remember Tim showing me his bruises from 2 very terrified little guys. He took it all in stride and they worked through it.  The boys have come so far! They are so sweet.
What an amazing blessing Adoption is in our family.  I am thrilled beyond words.

Congratulations Tim, Em, Joey and Bam-Bam!

 notice bam bam's stick. :)

such little cutie pies. :)

Reformation Party and Trauma Revisited

Last night, was our annual trip to the Reformation Party.   We had a wonderful time visiting with old friends and new friends.  There were more kids than we could count and even more people!  Food was everywhere as well as laughter and excitement and just good fellowship!

So what does that have to do with TRAUMA?  She is what it has to do with Trauma. :)

(My beautiful little Anna.  (posing with Sarah)  I love this picture they took of themeselves. :)
Love that they are cheeck to cheek, skin to skin..... close, and enjoying themselves together.)

7 years ago, Anna attended her first Reformation Party. She was so excited to go. She knew she would be bobbing for apples and doing a Pinata and even watching a movie! She knew there would be loads of kids to play with, and that mommy and daddy would be there with her.

It was an amazing time, because it was the first time we had acutally seen her really REALLY let her hair down, run around like a crazy 5 year old and just have the time of her life.  She forgot all about her fears and we watched her just be a kid. It was a wonderful sight.

BUT.... when it was time to leave, she said her good byes and we got into the car to go home.  She started to kick the back seat, she became sullen, her color changed, her eyes changed and she began to scream.... "I hated that party! I hated those people! I didn't have any fun! I didn't like it! I don't want to go back!  and she raged on.
As a parent, it is hard to hear those words, esepecially when you know they aren't true, and you WANT to say, "YES YOU DID!" I SAW YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME!"...... but it wasn't about that.
It wasn't about her lying, or being bratty or rebellious.  It was all about TRAUMA.  It was all about how she felt about herself.

You see, she didn't think she DESERVED to have a good time. She didn't think she was WORTHY of a good time. So she decided to sabotage it. To get rid of it. She had to get rid of the "evidence". :)

At first we said, "We saw you having fun."  But it only enraged her. So we remained quiet.

When we got home,  we took her to the rocker and she was fiesty mad.  We went through the relaxing things... take some breaths etc.  And I began to sing to her as always.  Then, when I felt she was calm enough, I was making eye contact with her and said,
"Sweetie, it is OK to have fun!  It is OK for YOU to have a good time. You DESERVE to have a good time. You are precious." And I continued to speak into her TRUTH.

She started to cling to me and then she began to sob.  And she sobbed for a while. It was a mournful sob, and it was deep and wrenching.  And it  was healing.

She looked up and said, "Mama, I'm sorry. I really did have fun. I did like those people. I really did!"
I said, "I know." It is ok.  And then she fell asleep.

That folks is what Trauma does to a child. It robs them of their joy.  If we recognize it, we can get them out of that "negative feedback loop", and place them right back into childhood, in all its wonder and discovery. We can help to place them back into safety. We can help to get them to the safety and love they so crave, yet are so terrified to embrace.

After a few of these patterned responses, which I like to call, "Rebooting the ole' hard drive", they will start to recognize their own fears and begin to embrace the new life as a gifted flower, and not a thorn that will just continue to hurt them.

I will never forget that first Reformation Day Party for our Anna.  Because, it makes me SO enjoy watching her at all the ones we have attended since, and the one we enjoyed so much last night.

                     She has conquered the wild beast of trauma that held her captive for so long.

On the way home, we heard all the exciting news and what a great time everybody had.
And that, is music to a mama's ears. :)

Sweetie Sarah

Our sweetie Sarah has really been enjoying "Buildabearville".

Buildabearville is an interactive place to go and enjoy doing activities. She LOVES being a waitress.
It is fun because other children play at the same time in a sort of "virtual" world. So one child somewhere in the U.S. may be a customer and she can be the waitress...
It seems to be a very safe environment. She said she also like shopping.  She gets paid, goes shopping, etc.
We don't have a video game system, and this particular site is one that is daddy approved. :)

Glue Sticks Are For Gluing

I have heard more than a few times last year and this year, folks are using GLUE STICKS; the larger foot long kind;  you know the ones we get for our crafty glue guns??  They are using them to "spank" their children.

I'm sorry, but GLUE STICKS ARE FOR GLUING things. They are meant for fun family projects.... Not this!
So, I googled it..... and sure enough, just as I suspected once again.... there is a group of people on the internet recommending glue sticks be used as "a rod of correction".

If you believe in spanking. Fine. This post isn't about that. Spanking vs. not spanking will be an eternal debate in this country.   This post is about  common sense and not harming children. 

WHAT IS GOING ON????    We are such a society of extremes.
I read several posts such as: "the liberal left who wants to keep you from any form of disciplining of your children", and then,  "the extreme fundamentalist right who wants to beat their children for pleasure"......  Those are really near quotes from some of the wesites and blogs I went to.
Frankly, I think both of those extremes are emotionally charged statements that don't solve anything and certainly don't lead to somebody with an opposing view to soften their ideas.

(I won't send you on a wild goose chase, just google for yourself, it will keep you up all night)
Keep in mind these names: Michael and Debi Pearl,  The Ezzos, Richard Fugate . There are others.
Their books have been around awhile.

  I read Mike and Debi Pearl's book a long time ago, when their name kept popping up, and when I kept hearing about how selfish babies are and how they need to be trained from newborn not to demand being fed, held, etc. ????? I'm serious,  I got totally freaked out.  The Ezzo's are regurgitated Pearls in a nicer package, but the message is basically the same. 

One of the problems with these people is they prey on insecurity, guilt and fear. They tell you if you don't do things THEIR way, which is OF COURSE, God's way, then your kids will grow up to be unrepentant  ax murderers and it will all be your fault!  That is a basic synopsis.  In fact, I did a book review one time and was shocked at the venom, just because I dared to disagree with a certain book.
Of course, my soul's eternal state was in question, all because I didn't agree with the person's book!

 People Please!  "Train Up Your Child in the way He should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." IS NOT an etched in stone command that guarantees your child's sure salvation.  No man comes to the Lord unless the SPIRIT draws.
If you are going to take that Proverbs passage literally, then you will have to take the entire poetic book literally and make it all fit into a neat little theological box.....It won't, because it wasn't meant to be literal.  The word used for "in the way he should go", is talking about a child's strength or "bent"...... meaning..... if he is great at carpentry, teach him the skills, and when he is old, he won't depart from being a carpenter, or a plummer, or a musician or a seamstress..... fill in the blank!  But it is just an observation.

After 30 plus years of hearing this type of stuff...... ENOUGH! I am sad to see young parents drawn into the same illegetimate garbage of the day. I am sad to see them saddled with guilt,burdens and fear, that if they don't do things just like so and so, their child will not grow up to serve God.   IT IS NOT TRUE!  There is NO scripture that says this. 

Scripture says CLEARLY, "He who does not DISCIPLINE his son, HATES his son!"  THIS IS A TRUE FACT..... but what is discipline? That is the million dollar question.... Sadly, for many, all it means is punishment, and punishment is NOT = to  discipline.


And that's all I have to say.
maybe

Amputee Humor for Fall

 Our little squirrel Erika has been stowing away Acorns in the bottom of her foot! LOL

It  took Anna, and Erika's pocket knife to get the little culprit out and back out to the real squirrels. LOL

That Girl Is A Hat Makin' Machine!

Wow! She is doing so well!  I had the honor of showing her how to make the little puffy ball on the top.
In return, I want her to show me how to knit! LOL

My New Awesome Sign

Here is the last sign I bought. :)

I don't know that I made any money, but I wonder if I can with this one??? :)

Gluten Free Black Bean Pumpkin Bread

I'm at it again with those black beans! I need to come up with some good recipes for Thanksgiving, so I tested one out today. Mike says for me not to change a thing, he likes it as it is...... His 2 customers agreed.... I was thinking it could use 1/4 cup more sugar, but they say no, so here it is!

 I made 1 large loaf and 4 mini loaves....with this recipe.  It can make 2 large loaves.

 Gluten Free Black Bean Pumpkin Bread

3/4 cup dried black beans (soak overnight, drain, add water and cook until very tender)
then puree'.
1 1/4 cups Rice Mix Flour ( I like the EnerG brand)
(it contains Rice Flour and Baking Powder)
1 15 oz can organic gluten free pumpkin
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 Tsp Baking powder
1 Tsp Baking Soda
1/2 Tsp salt
1 Tsp Cinnamon
1 Tsp Nutmeg
1/2 Tsp ground cloves
1 TLB Vanilla Extract
1/2 cup rasins
1/2 cup of chopped walnuts (or your favorite nut)

Mix Pumpkin, beans, sugar eggs and vanilla together making sure eggs are well beaten and beans are mixed very well. 
Add flour, soda, baking powder, salt, and spices Mix WELL

Spray baking pans before use to keep from sticking.
This will make 2 large loaves or 8 mini loaves or a combo of both

I cooked it in a pre heated oven of 350º  for about 35 minutes for the smaller loaves
 and 55 minutes to one hour for the larger loaf.   OR until cake tester comes out clean and when you touch the top it springs back.

Remove from oven and let sit for a few minutes and then remove from pans while still warm.
Serve with fruit butter, or plain butter, warm or cold.... store in air tight container.

FRUIT BUTTER:

1 stick of butter
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup thawed frozen strawberries
Blend and store in fridge to use on holiday breads.

A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words

A Cyber Friend was talking about her son, and some observations she had made.  She got me to thinking.... a dangerous thing, I know. :)

We have had some pretty interesting experiences with our girlies.  Some of which we "caught" onto, and some that the light went on at a later time.

Anna has graciously given me permission to put her drawings up for you to see. She is such a neat kid. She said, "If it will help somebody, go ahead."  "Besides, I googled myself, and now I'm famous!" ROFL!

Anna was adopted at the age of 5. She had been in a series of Foster Homes during her toddler years that took a huge toll on her little life.  I am so glad that we took the PRIDE TRAINING classes, because those classes described our sweetie to the T.   She was an infant emotionally, she was a 5 year old girl, and she was also in some areas of her life, very street smart and going on 30.  We had to figure out who we were dealing with, and sometimes it would change in the same conversation. :)

I have always provided blank paper, scissors, glue, glittler, markers, colors, beads and all sorts of wonderful messy things for my children to use, to create and to imagine.  Of course the Girlies are no exception, so one of the most exciting parts to getting ready for Anna to come, was getting all that messy stuff out once again!
I am no artist by a long shot, but I love seeing little ones create.

To my shock: With all she had to use..... This is what she drew.
The picture on the left, was her first one.  There was no reason to it, there were no real letters, there was no form.... just scribbling.  I have countless pictures like this, where I said, "Let's draw a goat!" "Let's draw a house!"  They all looked the same.  No color, no reason, just chaos.
It made me cry.
Her little life must have been so crushing for her. She was not able to express in the most basic form what was in her mind.
She also couldn't jump on one foot. She couldn't skip, like a little girl would.... there was MUCH she couldn't do.  She sure could scream! :)  She didn't know how to communicate at first. She hadn't been taught.
Communication is so important and we communicate in many ways; through the arts, through speech, through writing, through emotions.  She had learned the most basic infantile form of communication. The one she was born with; her lungs. But she had not learned anything else. She was very much an infant or toddler, in a 5 year old's body.

After working with her for a few months: Her drawings IMPROVED!   I started to notice a much more visual picture.  And not long after, she started to draw faces. I was very glad they were happy faces. :)

And then about a year later:  We got a picture of FAMILY!

I was very happy to see that she saw herself as important.  She drew Katie really small, because she didn't live with us.  The guy on the left was Marcus (our youngest son).

And then, she started being able to draw some nature:

Notice, she still wasn't really adding much color to anything?  She had plenty of opportunity to, but her world was still very small.

I have loads of pictures and artwork she has done over the years. She is not the best of artists, that isn't the point of this post.  But she has made HUGE strides in artistic expression! And I am so proud of her.
It also tells me that she has healed in so many ways!
She prefers to design barbie clothes, and she loves to dress up and design outfits. She has an artistic flare for writing too.
But here are a couple of her recent drawings..... Note the COLOR!!!!

Anna also has a real knack for writing.  She still has many issues with Spelling. She is working on it, and has come a long way!
But here is an excerpt from a book she is writing.... I am amazed at her ability to write, yet, she cannot spell well.

On 10/27/10 10:43 AM, Anna Minich wrote:
> It was cold and seemed like it was about to rain. As Hannah walked along
> the road, she heard a truck rumbling a little way behind her.So she steeped
> to the side of the road as the truck pulled in to view. When it reached her
> it stoped.
> And the driver asked "You need a ride miss"? Hannah hesitated she had tried
> to hitch hick but every time a driver stoped and asked it was always a
> young man so she had declined. Then she noticed a women about the same age
> as the driver
> in there 30s or so. So she agreed." Hop in dear it's about to rain" The lady
> said kindly.Hannah got in the back and they drove on.
> "What is your name dearee"? "Hannah Harrison whats yours?" Josefina
> Cobbler my Friends call me Joe you can do the same, And this is my husband
> Peter Cobbler." You can call me peat. "
> "Now whats a pretty thang like you hitch hicking on the road in this
> weather"? I'm going to the golf." Hannah ancerd. "Whear are you from?"
> "Canada." "Do you have any family"? "Only a brother back in Canada."
> "Hut oh miss it's raining to hard to take you to Town. How 'bout you comen'
> to our house till mooring. well i don't want to in- pose.No no you won't be
> imposing , the lord gave me a big house with Lot's of room.
> Hannah gave it some thought... they seem nice...um. Well just until
> moring. Hannah ancerd..When Hannah arrived at The Cobblers house,She noticed
> that Mr.cobbler was not exzadgerating it was a big house. With a big front
> porch,and a swing.
> Better come in side Heaven knows what you could catch in a storm like
> this.. Miss cobbler led her to a big room witch a table in tha middle ,And a
> stove. THIS is the kicthan.
> You what hear and I'll go get a room and a bath ready. just make your self
> comterbull.Said miss cobbler as she walked away her hi heals clicking on the
> Wood floor.Hannah could not stand to where hi heals.
>
> Hear it is and your bath is ready. um leave your clothes by the door so i
> can clean them.Oh but I can't let you do that. Oh fiddle sticks I have one
> of those new finagled washing meshene and I've been meaning to use it .OK
> if you insist.When Hannah got in the water she felt the water rush over. In
> her orpang the soweres had been short and cold.
>
>



It will be 7 years in December, and  she is   such a lovely young lady. :) Her thoughts are deep and she is so sweet.  I am so thankful that she is able to now express herself, keep a journal, draw her favorite things, write a book if she wants to....... She is living life. I cannot take away the past, or what happened to her years ago; but I sure do have hope for the future, and that she can truly LIVE her Life in a good way!

Sarah's New Doo

Sarah decided it was time for a change.... I love it!

Erika's Hat

Erika started working on a new hat Saturday. She finished it last night.  I want her to teach me! :)

She amazes me with her talents!

Happy Saturday Activities

It has been really quiet here all day. I have been blogging, writing, cooking, and cleaning. I even went Christmas Shopping! shhhh!

If my girlies are reading this STAY OUTTA MY CLOSET! :)

So, what have those girlies been doing?

I just love it how Anna and Sarah have been playing Barbies and Paper Dolls, literally for HOURS after they finished their chores. We have this great front porch and they have been playing out there all afternoon.  I can hear their music playing on 94.9 KLTY, the thunder and rain pouring, and little voices pretending all sorts of things.  I love how they are still "little girls" and "big girls" at the same time.
Tweenies is such an interesting age group.

And then Miss Erika has been busy out in the shoppe helping Daddy.... She LOVES to help Daddy and he Pays her WELL....

She also loves to knit. She started knitting baby hats last year, but had scarves to finish...... She had an unfinished baby hat, and I found her on the computer learning what she forgot. She amazes me! So, she finished THAT baby hat, and is now working on another one!

So what has your Saturday been like?   I am really proud of Sarah who played outside on the porch in spite of the Tornado Watches and Warnings, Thunder and Lightening, Heavy Rain and Wind........ (the Warning was one county over, but for her, THIS IS A BIG DEAL!) Typically this begins alligator tears!
This time she just asked, "When you were in that tornado, what was it like in the closet?" I answered her, and she went back out to play! YEA!

Holidays Full Steam Ahead!!!

I just got a call from Joseph!  He, Becca, Sam and True are coming for Thanksgiving!  I feel thankful all over! :)

In the process of cleaning, I decided since it is getting closer to holiday time, I'd go ahead and start decorating..... I have these shelves in the kitchen that needed dusting and polishing.  So, I just took everything down and got it ready for the Holidays.  I know it is a little early, but.... before I know it, it will be a little late.  So, I decided to just do it now.

Here are the 3 shelves in the kitchen. :)  The white and red dishes were my old Christmas Dishes.
I had stored them at a friend's house. When they were moving, the box dropped and they ran them over with a truck. LOL This is all that remained. My friend was so sweet. She went and purchased the other Christmas dishes, which I love too.  :)  She really didn't have to, but she did, and I am glad. They don't make these any more that I know of.

I really do love the Holidays, and look forward to making a Ginger Bread House Village with Sam and the girls and any other grand kiddos that might be stopping in and out. :)

Oh... btw- for those of you that are Gluten Free..... this might excite you!  I couldn't believe my eyes!
Gluten Free Clam Chowder!!!!!