Alli, her sister and brother we all adopted 4 years ago from Russia, and brought to America but things didn't go so well. :( Alli's adoption was disrupted after much turmoil.
Today, Tatyana is also on her own.
Our visit however DID go well!
Both of these girls are amazing, strong girls. I am so thankful, that they were able to reunite and that they will have a relationship for the rest of their lives.
I feel as though we have added another daughter, with Tatyana. She is a sweet heart, and she and Alli have a lot of the same traits. It was so fun to just watch them compare fingers and toes, and talk about the same likes.... or have the same types of responses when language came into play. :)
I am so proud of both of them.
Some thoughts about this weekend have come to mind.
I think sometimes as adoptive parents, even with the best of intentions, we have preconceived ideas about who our children will be and what they will be like.
That is a dangerous thing, because our children are not blank slates. They come with personalities and behaviors that formed long before we met them.
We cannot change them!
But we CAN guide them and tweak those behaviors that are too strong, or too active, in the right direction.
Our children come to us with behaviors that are based upon survival. They cannot just shut that off and become what our dream of them would be. We need to love who THEY are!
Instead, we need to support the child that comes to us, because I promise, they have a LOT to bring into our lives to enrich and teach US.
As adoptive parents we need to EXPECT to be challenged by our OWN behaviors, our own thoughts, our own expectations, our own failures, and our own selfishness... our own sin. That 3 fingers pointing back thing that tells us .... we still have a long ways to go in this life, in the area of loving acceptance, will help us to stay on our knees and know that we cannot do this on our own. We need the loving hand of our Heavenly Father to lead and to guide us.
If you are struggling, don't isolate yourself! Reach out for help.... But reach out to those who are doing well and succeeding! Go to those conferences that are offered, connect!
Go to the online classes! Join the proper support group! ( I say proper because you don't want to belong to a misery loves company group)
And trust the Lord that He is at work in YOUR life, just as much as he is at work in the life of your child.