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Thursday, August 8, 2013

Thoughts and Support Group

Over the last 15 weeks, I had the honor of taking a small group of people through "The Connected Child".
We had such a great time, and several want to do it again!

Over the next few weeks I am going to research a way to do an online class with video, so I can talk and not just type.

Last night, we finished with Chapter 12, which is all about dealing with your own stuff before you can deal with your child's.
I wrote a blog post a while back called "Any Unpacked Bags".<<<linked....and I think this is what chapter 12 was written about.

One thing I love about Karyn Purvis and also Heather Forbes, is that they believe there is no child who is too damaged or too hurt, that God cannot intervene and help them to heal.
I know this to be true. VERY TRUE.

But, at the same time, our children need US to help them heal.  We are instruments that our Heavenly Father uses in the lives of our children.... and we need to be "in tune". :)

Just because you have had your own brokenness or trauma in your life, that does not mean you will not be an excellent parent, but you FIRST must deal with your own pain.

The good news is, you do not have to be like those who hurt you in your past. You can rise above it, and SHINE. :)

Your children CAN flourish!  They CAN heal!

I am so proud of where my Alli is right now.  2 years and 5 months ago, a very broken little girl came to live with us.  We had no preconceived expectations of her.  We didn't know her. 
As we studied her and worked to find delightful things about her, we began to get to know her, and she us. 
We delighted in her sweet laugh and beautiful smile at first.  We delighted that she was artistic and could organize her luggage quite well. We delighted that she was fantastic at playing hide and seek in a small hotel room, and could entertain her new nephew endlessly.  We also delighted that she was willing to try once again to let herself be vulnerable.
That last one was a give and take for a very long time, with her trying and then pulling back to her version of safety.

But today, she is just like any of the other girls.  She was even able to go with a sweet girlfriend to Art Camp this week at the "Biblical Arts Center" in Dallas!    She has also gone swimming and tomorrow, on the last day, she'll tour the museum. 
I am so proud of her!

She helped me to see over the last 2 plus years that I still had some unpacking to do. :)  Unpacking I didn't know I needed, but I did.  And so be it! 
The Lord was at work, working on her heart, and mine!

That special dance that we do with our children, starts with stepping all over each other's toes, but before you know it, you are like gazelles leaping and dancing to the High Places. 

Don't be afraid to unpack your excess baggage.  It is truly freeing!  And as you unpack, your child will be more willing to let go of the things that hold them in bondage.
Don't just dip your toe in the pool of love, and walk around the edges, DIVE IN with reckless abandon! 
Your child WILL follow....
maybe slowly, but they will get there.

If you are interested in joining an online support group class for "The Connected Child", please let me know.  We will be starting sometime in September. 


7 comments:

Annie said...

I would love to do the class with you sometime. I don't know that I could manage it in the evening, though.

I have just started watching "The Wholebrained Child" with Anastasia's therapist. It is AMAZING, and her strategies tie in very well with what we know about therapeutic parenting. So far, at least. I'm very much looking forward to going through that book.

Tracy said...

I would be interested as well.
I think I need to unpack some baggage myself, but am at a loss how...
I find so many of your parenting posts inspiring. Then I feel like I fall short when I try to practice it..,
And what about a husband who only believes in old school tactics...I struggle trying to explain why/how I think a different way is better. Maybe not being in the same page just makes it all that much harder.
Anyway, yes I'm interested.

Aus said...

Morning Christie - there's some real insight here. The last couple years we've been experiencing a "dark night of the soul" with Marie's family - and over the last few weeks reached some difficult and painful conclusions...and that's been maybe the toughest part in our married life. We're sound - but we have had to choose to reject some ideas forced upon us by "family" - and that hurts...

Maybe it's been because we've come to some insights into ourselves through our adopted kids journey - maybe we've just gotten old enough to look at ourselves and be confident enough to challenge ourselves - maybe it's just our Father deciding that we've languished enough and needed a little shaking up - probably it's all of that and more!

But it's good - for when you quit growing - well - that's being dead!

hugs - great stuff - aus and co.

Noah Hursh said...

I would love to join this class too

Christie Minich said...

Noah, I will be sure to include you.

Team Bedzyk said...

Please include me in the class, thanks!- Kim

N's loving parents said...

I'm just about to read this book again. Can I join the group?
Kim in MA :)

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