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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Rebooting The Ole' Brain

Things have been smooth sailing for awhile now with Miss Alli.  We got through the holiday just fine and she has been so happy and relaxed.  She has reached a new high water mark!
Then, at about 10:00 this a.m..... things took a "slight turn".  She seemed a little agitated.
We got through all of that just fine.
But at 2:00 this afternoon.... I could feel her mood changing.  There was a simple interaction involving a CD player she wanted to listen to while doing phonics and I told her no, because she wouldn't be able to concentrate on the sounds. I heard her say under her breath, "yes I will...." in an irritated tone.
She had also not put her glasses on. I asked her to put them on and she declared she could see without them.
I told her, "I didn't ask if you could see. I asked you to put your glasses on."  I could see we were headed nowhere fast so I asked her to join me at the rocking chair.

We rocked for a few minutes and I threw up a few quiet prayers. Then I asked her why we were in the rocking chair.   She said, "I have no idea, but YOU won't believe me!"
I said, " Since you say you don't know, I'll choose to believe you; and now I'll explain why."
I was direct with her and to the point. You didn't do as mother asked, and you were talking back.
She started to defend herself and I stopped her.
I could see she was unable to stop herself. She was stuck....
Instead, I said, "Alli, we have had a wonderful few weeks, haven't we? You have been so happy and relaxed and sweet! Doesn't it feel so good to not have any stressful days? "  "I have really REALLY enjoyed it! Haven't you?"
She said, "Yes."
Well, "How about if we keep on enjoying it!" She knows about having to reboot the computer if it acts up...."Let's reboot your brain right now, and turn off the attitude and go on with our day? What do you say?"

I wasn't sure what her response would be, but she said, "Ok!"

I prayed with her, and she went back to her school work with her glasses on and her headphones off.
I was sitting close by, praying quietly and waiting to see what would happen.
To my joy, she turned around and with a sad face said, "Mama, I'm really sorry. I don't know why I did that. Will you forgive me?"

YES YES and YES!!!!   So we hugged and I reassured her, and all the rest of our day has been fantastic, as if that ole' brain was rebooted! :)


2 comments:

Annie said...

Wow. That is thoroughly inspiring. How many parents (me included, on a bad day) would have reacted in such a way as to generate a big blow up. It is so easy to push the authority thing, and end up in a power struggle, where just being sensitive and connecting can put that proper relationship back into place. Some parents would argue - But she disobeyed you! She was defiant! Even suggest a spanking was in order. All that was needed was love. Patience. Kindness. Understanding. She WANTED to obey.

Mike and Christie said...

Yes Annie... parenting trauma can be really counter intuitive at first. We are so used to doing things differently now, it seems counter intuitive to do anything else. LOL We have continued to have good days.

This a.m. at church during communion, she had little tears streaming down her face. When I asked her why she was crying, she said, "God hates sin, and I am sorry for my sin, it makes me sad to think about it."

My heart rejoices in her understanding of spiritual issues.

And I whispered to her... we don't need to remember our sin anymore, because you are forgiven.
She had such a sense of peace. :)

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