Report From Ukraine Regarding Adoption

Here is the interview with the SDA director.


IF YOU ARE ADOPTING FROM UKRAINE: Pay attention to this!
I'll comment more later....


"Adoption Department is under terrific pressure” – says Liudmila Volynets


Head of the Ukraine’s State Department for Adoption informs about progress and problems of this government agency



Ministry of Ukraine for Family, Youth and Sport is currently summing up the results of National Adoption Support Year. The Minister in charge Yuri Pavlenko is proud to state that the number of adopted children has finally exceeded the number of bereaved ones

According to the year results, 19,554 of orphaned children and children devoid of parental care have found families. It was in the year 2008, that the number of children adopted by citizens of Ukraine climbed above two thousand; fourteen of them were HIV-positive. "These children have finally implemented their right to be upbrought in Ukrainian families” – observed Pavlenko. “The ministry staff feel hopeful that the positive trend remains unchanged, and they have a good reason for that: nearly a thousand and five hundred applications have lately been filed by the Ukrainians, intending to adopt.”

Besides, it would be instructive to recall that last year the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine voted in favour of the amendments to the law “On the State Aid to Families with Children” and “On the Introduction of Amendments to Certain Legislative Acts”. This law provides a lump-sum benefit of 12, 240 hryvnias for the adopting family; the same amount of money is usually paid as a first child maternity grant. The Cabinet of Ministers has also established a work procedure to be followed by guardianship and custody bodies as they promote and safeguard the rights of children; as well as the procedure for adoption and the subsequent monitoring of the adopted children’s rights implementation. As a result, on and after the 1st of December the adoption procedure substantially changed. Among the most welcome changes is the access to information on children who are available for adoption. The law stipulates that the information has to be disseminated through mass media in order to make it accessible for the public. The categories of children available for adoption have also been clearly determined, the legal basis and relevant documents have been specified. And furthermore, officials at all levels are now personally liable for every particular child’s destiny.

Sure enough, the Department staff speak not only of the accomplishments, but also of problems. For instance, some officials and public figures extensively criticize the measures taken by the government as well as the state policy in the field of children’s rights protection. But most of the trouble has been caused by middlemen, who allegedly help foreign families to adopt Ukrainian children and charge $30,000-$50,000 for their services. This is precisely what gives rise to talk of public officers’ supposedly corrupt practice. “They come to the Department and make impudent demands. The system that appears to have been formed in the early nineties has penetrated deep into the country and affected boarding schools, orphanages and maternity hospitals”- says Yuri Pavlenko. But international adoption can by no means be prohibited! There have been numerous examples of foreign families giving no less than a new life and new opportunities to special needs children with severe disabilities. “However, we clearly give a higher priority to the national adoption”- goes on the minister. “If a foreign family and a Ukrainian one are willing to adopt one and the same child, the preference will decidedly be given to the citizens of Ukraine. This is what a moratorium year is meant for. Therefore, according to statistics we have no children less than three years old available for adoption. Foreign families adopt either children over 7 years old or severely disabled ones.”

Liudmila Volynets, the head of the State Department for Adoption and Protection of Children’s Rights, tells that the Hague Convention would be a great benefit in the matter of a full-fledged protection for children adopted by foreign families, and counteraction to corrupt middlemen. Unfortunately, the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine has already three times failed to ratify the Hague Convention.


Liudmila Semenovna, the National Adoption Support Year has already elapsed. What kind of a year was it for you?

The year results are habitually evaluated in figures, and we have positively succeeded in making these figures grow; yet I here would like to mention something entirely different. My primary objective is to make changes in mass consciousness of Ukrainian society; that is to alter people’s attitude about children who got into trouble and to develop their willingness to help. I am sure that all Ukrainians have become changed people in the course of past three years. Incidentally, “The All-Ukrainian Forum of Adoptive Parents" was there to persuade the public that there are people who are prepared to voluntarily commit themselves to giving orphans care and upbringing, and they are not scarce. It may be said that we are not the kind of people we sometimes seem to be. There are so many good people among us! We do have something to be proud about. Hence that is the major result of the year for me. Actually, as we held an opinion poll, it has been found that 14% of Ukrainians think themselves ready to adopt orphans into their families. Many of them are friends and acquaintances of people who have already made this important move. And it means that the more children are adopted and fostered, the more families are willing to adopt. It could be compared to a stone dropped into a pool of water generating many circular waves. Yet I regret to say that we have not exactly been successful in inspiring people to openly speak about the adoption of a child and the other people to look with favour on this fact. Meanwhile, we are unable to escape the absurd known as adoption secrecy.

This is exactly what I wanted to ask: does the adoption secrecy still exist? Are the guardianship authorities obliged to monitor the life of adopted children in their new families?

Adoption secrecy law is still in place. Adoptive parents have the right to preserve adoption secrecy, yet they may decide for themselves whether to keep it or not. Unlike parents, the officials are obliged to keep the information secret. Meanwhile, it makes families’ monitoring easier. For instance, a District Education Department representative can come and see a demonstration lesson. While sitting in class, the child will have no notion that it's him or her who this person has come to look at. Therefore, one needs to understand the way monitoring is performed. And we teach this understanding to public employees.

Minister Yuri Pavlenko spoke lately about pressure that is being put on you personally by people who deem the state’s adoption policy inadequate.
I can not discuss the matter at this very moment. Yet I have already filed a lawsuit to defend my hohour, dignity and professional reputation.

That means the pressure does exist, am I right?

Yes, you are. There is terrific pressure. Nevertheless, I would rather not give actual examples as long as each of the parties should be able to speak their respective minds, but I would like to highlight that the pressure is appalling. To begin with, the pressure is being exerted by foreign citizens that come to Ukraine to adopt a child. Their infertility has caused them a lot of suffering, so they are desperate to take action; they have travelled a long way to Ukraine and they must needs adopt. Still, they are often not very well prepared for the adoption and set forth fanciful conditions. And the children who have been orphaned and need to be adopted are not able to comply with their demands. For example, last week we received a family from Netherlands; they came to Ukraine to adopt twin boys less than three years old. According to their ideas, we were obliged to find them by any means. This example is the most telling one, it reveals that the prospective adoptive parents do not very well comprehend that we are not to be subject to their whims. Our Department’s primary objective is to find a family for the child, not a child for the family. Unfortunately, we have to spend most of our working hours on these wishes-to-be-met rather than work.

Another source of pressure comes from the family members that stay at home; they understand that in Ukraine young and healthy children are not available for adoption by foreigners, so they make the situation more difficult by encouraging the prospective parents to put forward demands, file complaints and brawl in order to attain their aim. All this continual instigation is downright unpleasant.

Officials are also putting pressure on the Department, aren't they?

I can show you a letter from the USA Ambassador in Ukraine; I received it through the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. I take it only as being pressed. Call it what you will, but when one receives a complaint being him- or herself the object of that complaint and being asked to take adequate measures – I call it pressure. The fact of the matter is that a voter turned to Senator M. MacConnell (the name of the voter being not specified) complaining of the Department administration’s prejudiced position towards the USA citizens. “According to his opinion, the present administration has set unfair limits so as not to let American citizens adopt Ukrainian children deprived of parental care,” – says the letter. The mentioned limits, though, have been established by law; specifically the law that limits the maximum age gap between the adopted child and the adoptive parent. The Ambassador goes on to say that against this background and inasmuch as repeated complaints have been filed by American citizens about inefficiency of the international adoption procedure, it should be mentioned that the represented facts do not contribute to the Ukraine’s positive image abroad. Mr. Ambassador has apparently failed to understand that debating current laws of Ukraine is beyond his scope of jurisdiction; we are to obey the law and not to discuss it. It is also not correct to write a letter of this kind omitting the name of the complaining person, since I am not given the opportunity to verify the made statements as to their correspondence to facts. How can I consider the problem and inform the Embassy of the obtained results?

Hence follows another important question: why do you think the Verkhovna Rada repeatedly fails to ratify the Hague Convention?

Ukraine lived through times (in the years 1994-1996)when it was found out that many children had been taken away from the country and no further information as to their whereabouts was available. As a result, moratorium was imposed on international adoption; some members of Ukrainian Parliament remember those times. I think this is the reason they are afraid of making changes, so as not to, God forbid, make matters worse. Sure enough, avoiding changes we shall aggravate the situation and make it even nastier than it was in mid-nineties. It must be understood that there is a procedure accepted by the global community! The Convention opponents keep assuring that pressure from the adopting countries will immediately follow. Aren’t we experiencing it now? Of course we are. We will feel pressure as long as the international adoption exists; any country unable to take care of its children will put them up for international adoption.

It should also be remembered that consideration of a draft law may be initiated only once over the Parliament convocation period. It failed to secure the necessary vote in 2006, but the Convention still has a chance since a new Parliament was elected in 2007.

So when will the Hague Convention be ratified after all?

The President has already introduced the law in draft for consideration of the Parliament. If the lawmakers get their work properly done, the law will be passed by the parliament in two or three months; Order of the Cabinet of Ministers will then be issued in another six months. And we would most like to make our way into the new decade with the new adoption procedure.

Is the middlemen’s access to the Department limited now?

Unfortunately, it is not. This kind of activity is permitted by article 243 of the Civil Code; as long as the article remains in its place, there’s no restraining them.

Have any middlemen been punished for their malpractice?

Everything is just on the contrary, they file complaints against us. Middlemen are individual persons and are therefore better protected than public officers.

Have any public officials been punished for bribetaking?

There was an episode of this kind in Kherson region. The judge of the Kherson Dneprovsky Court took a bribe and was caught red-handed by officers of the Security Service of Ukraine. Previously we received a claim from adoptive parents that money was being squeezed from them. It happened so that she was acquitted. Nevertheless, the public prosecutor who took part in that court session has already filed a cassation petition to the Supreme Court in order to falsify the judgement.

Do adoptive parents often report bribe demands?

There are more complaints against middlemen, than against public officers; most of the complaints are filed by foreign citizens. Consequently, if any case of corrupt practice becomes known to someone, this person should not hesitate to address his or her complaints to our Department. Yet foreigners often speak neither Ukrainian nor Russian language, so they cannot file a complaint. It usually happens like this: the Department employees say one thing; the middlemen translate for the foreigners something entirely different. The middlemen sometimes do not inform the adoptive parents of the child’s disabilities, or vice versa – present the child as a disabled one. In such a manner they present a diseased or disabled child as a healthy one, or hold the child for some other family.

Do you know these middlemen by sight?

They are always there at the Department door! They have become a part of our employees’ everyday life. Whereas the Hague Convention ratification would give us the basis for amending the legislation of Ukraine. We need adequate laws and time so as to establish order and eliminate the abnormal profits drawn by middlemen. They assure the foreigners that the money is needed for “communication" with public officers, but I am certain that no corrupt practice can ever be exercised in the State Department for Adoption and Protection of Children’s Rights.

Sarah's New Song

Sarah loves making up songs. Here is one she did yesterday. I really need to get a better movie camera, as this one is skipping something awful. Don't forget to pause teh playlist before you watch or you can't hear anything. :)

Anna's Funny for the Morning

During our morning snuggle, Anna said, "Hey mom, do you want to see me get a bowl of cereal in less than a minute without using my hands?"

I was curious, so I said, "Sure".....

She said,OK, " Mama! Get me a bowl of cereal, and FAST!"

LOL

She thought that was rather clever. :)

The Destruction of Bitterness

My last post was on Agape' Love, but today I am compelled to write about Agape' Love's Arch Enemy, Bitterness.

This morning, I had the privilege of going to the Women's Retreat for just 1/2 of the day. I sure do wish I could have stayed longer, but there was just too much going on.

I had no idea what the topic was going to be about, but after I got there and looked at the syllabus I was really excited.

This isn't a topic we Christians like to talk about too much, but it is very, very necessary to understand it, in order to understand my previous post about Love.

I thought Cathy did a fabulous job of helping us understand what bitterness really is. I looked up a definition online and it said "it is a frozen form of latent anger".
That is a very sterile way of saying, "a bitter person is an angry person, and the thing they may be angry about, they have been angry about for a long time.

But for the Christian, it goes abit further. Bitterness cuts away at our relationship with God, it destroys our relationship with each other, and it is sin. Pure and simple.

But what exactly IS it?

It is harboring anger or resentment against another person, real or imagined, and not forgiving them. It is bringing up another person's sin and not seeing that we ourselves are sinful. It is looking at what others are doing, and being critical, but forgetting to inspect ourselves.
We become great "Fruit Inspectors", except on our own tree.

Not only are we called to forgive, we are called to love. You cannot have bitter water and sweet water in the same well.

I was thinking about this in light of how we view our children. Bitterness can be a slippery slope we fall into if we are not careful of how we view and accept our children. We are to be loving and forgiving, but how many times do we show resentment towards them for something they have done? Especailly if we are dealing with extreme behaviors.

In Christine's Post yesterday on Smiles and Trials, she described exactly what I am talking about. A parent that is sinking into the depths of despair, because of real or perceived problems with their child, many times focuses on each and every thing the child does WRONG,even down to how they laugh, look,speak or smell, forgetting to concentrate on what he or she does right and how delightful it is to hear a child laugh. They begin to dislike the very person they are called to love and those thoughts birth actions that a person will regret. Sometimes it will lead to disruption, or even worse, a bitter, cold, unloving relationship.

Before they know it, a root of bitterness has taken root in their heart and it is not easy to get rid of it.

I thought Cathy's test was quite easy:
Want to know if you are bitter? When you complain about what somebody has done "to" you, and you remember it in detail, and remember it for a while, that is bitterness.
If you have forgiven a person, it won't come up again. If you haven't, you will have a long account of wrongs committed by this person.

I love my friend Kim's method, "KEEP SHORT ACCOUNTS". If somebody offends you, forgive and forget it. If your child does something, forgive and forget it. KEEP SHORT ACCOUNTS.

I truly believe that keeping short accounts, is going to help a person to not become bitter.

If you are harboring bitterness in your heart towards somebody, it is very simple to ask the Lord for help. He is faithful and just to forgive US, and help us.

I think the most important thing about what Cathy had to say today was about walking through that door to the other side. If we leave the wrongs behind and our wrong thinking behind, and walk through the door of forgiveness, our burdens are lifted and we are free from that terrible weight of sin. We are free from the terrible weight of trying to remember all our hurts, and only then can we be free to love Agape' Style. :)

Agape Love

Every time I hear the word "Love", my mind goes back to that silly movie, "The Princess Bride", where Princess Buttercup is marrying the Prince, who is not her "True Love".

The priest says, "WUV, TWU WUV"! and from there it is a blurrrr. But I always think about what is TWU WUV?


Lately, I have had the honor of talking with a few people about the meaning of love.
Our language does not have enough words to accurately describe love.

We use the word so casually... I love those flowers! I love that dress! I love your house!
But we all know those are just expressions for saying we really like something. We "feel good" about it or it makes us feel good. Some things just make us feel "happy".

But truly, loving, isn't necessarily about a "feeling" you have.
Love is a verb. It is an action. It is always putting the best interests of another in front of yourself.

1Corinthians 13:4-8 (just the beginning of vs.8) Love is Patient, love is kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love BEARS ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS.

LOVE NEVER ENDS...

The scripture speaks about Love as a Fruit of the Spirit and something to be SOUGHT.
That tells me that TRUE LOVE does not come naturally.
The Love the scripture is speaking about is AGAPE Love. It is the deepest form of love, and the same Love God has for us.

This word love would not be used to describe how one feels about their new couch.

This brings me to to "Loving" our children with AGAPE love.

When our kids come to us, many times they have bad attitudes, bad habits, or difficult behaviors. They are already grown and have lived life apart from us, so in fact, they are strangers as are we to them!

When they come, we MUST choose the AGAPE road of love with them in order to attach to them and for them to attach to us fully.

One of the ways to apply AGAPE love to our children, is to treat the adoption as we would a marriage. Not the modern marriage that ends in divorce 6 months later or the stale marriage that stays together because of the children. But the permanent covenant of marriage that has life flowing from it.
You walk in with eyes wide open and after you have "hopped over the stick", you close your eyes forever to those things that could draw you apart.

It is the same for our kids. We walk in, bring our kids home, and when the day is done, they are ours to CHOOSE to love. Some are easier to love than others, some respond more readily than others, but that doesn't change one iota of what we are called to do as parents in SACRIFICIALLY loving our children. And our kids cannot grow unless they truly know that the love we have for them is truly genuine.

As time goes on, and TIME is a BIG FACTOR, then, the "feelings that follow". Our feelings line up with our actions.

I have a deep love for all of my children and for my husband. That Love carries me through when they do something annoying. Guess what? I know that I annoy them too. If I were to concentrate on the things that each person did that annoyed me, I'd be one unhappy and miserable individual and so would they. If they were to concentrate on my annoyances, the same would happen.
Instead, looking at the positives, will bring out the best in our relationships.

Study your children. Look at what is GREAT about them. If they are trying hard to accomplish something, love that about them. If they have a cute smile, love that about them.

Seek to be joyful in the little things and big things will follow.

A child who is not loved, KNOWS IT. Believe me, they do. A child who is being patronized knows it. Their behaviors and feelings will show it too.
I have heard the saying, "fake it until you make it" thrown around for several years now. I have a big problem with that saying, because there is NOTHING FAKE about sacrificially loving your children. There is NOTHING fake about doing what is right.
Now, if you are talking about LOVING your children as you should, even when you don't have deep overwhelming powerful emotions, that has nothing to do with being fake.

When when our children begin to respond to AGAPE LOVE, you will see thier behaviors change and you will also catch yourself seeing what a sweetheart they are, or how cute their little toes are, or how sweet their little smile is.

Ask yourself:
Am I patient? Am I kind? Do I hold grudges? Am I choosing to see what is best in my child? Do I rejoice when they do what is right and good? Am I hopeful for my child's future? Am I bearing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things?
I challenge you to Make your love genuine. Make it to be TRUE LOVE... AGAPE LOVE.


That is what we are called to do.

The "L" Word

As many of you know, when you have kids, you deal with little bits of lying here and there.
But then, there is this other kind of lying that isn't necessarily "here and there", but out of bounds. It is not about getting into trouble, or even trying to get out of trouble. It could be about an everyday occurrence, or just a made up tale for entertainment.

Many kids do this during the toddler years, and I wouldn't consider it lying at that point, especially if they cannot tell the difference between reality and fiction.

Our girls are actually still learning that movies are not real. Like, all the actors didn't take a break during intermission time on the movie "The 10 Commandments" to go to the bathroom, so they could finish the movie. LOL
(Anna really thought this!)

Our Anna has been going through a really great period of time, and been pretty delightful, but everybody knows, when change is around the corner, sometimes old behaviors can creep back up.

I noticed this week that I was told a story about teaching the billy goat to "SIT". hmmmm.... Then, one about climbing a tree to a certain distance, and then saying she locked the goat pen, when she didn't.
Well, today, we were talking about flying kites and she said that she had to rescue our granddaughter's kite from a tree. I KNEW this was not true.

So, I called her over for a good rock in the chair. I told her,
I noticed that you are telling lots of interesting tales lately. Do you remember that lying can cause mommy to not trust what you say?

She said, yes.

So we went back over what we did before.

If mommy catches you in an untruth and you have not corrected it first.
This is what we will do.

You will say, "I lied", the TRUTH is: and then state the truth.

Then an I'm sorry.

We did this very thing with our older boys too.

She agreed that we needed to go back to this.

And then I said these words......

"We need to talk about our future relationship".
(I was thinking tween years and more freedoms that come with responsibility)

I am telling you, the look on her face was ABSOLUTE FEAR....
I instantly KNEW how I worded that, was so bad.

So I very quickly said, "How wonderful it is going to be, how it is a forever relationship and how excited I am to see you growing up into such a fine and HONEST young lady etc.etc..... LOL

Her body relaxed, and I thought, wow.... will it always be there? Will she always question another person's love and commitment to her?

We rocked abit longer and made that wonderful eye contact and she said very sincerely, "Mom, I'm sorry I haven't been telling the truth."

I told her sweety, isn't it such an icky feeling to always wonder if you will be found out? She started to cry and say yes.

I asked her, Isn't it great when you have a really great story to tell and it is totally true and you feel good telling it?

She said yes through her tears.

I let her know that as she gets older, she will have many fun stories to tell about life and animals but she will only feel good about telling them, if they are accurate and true.

So we went back over our scenario once again, and I reminded her that she must tell the truth all the time. That I will hold her accountable EVERY time... and we had a good hug.

I also reminded her that she is firmly placed in THIS family, and she held on tight.

I feel she walked away from our embrace a stronger and more confident girl.

I'm so proud of her.

Sweet Girls and Painfilled Bodies

You know, I have this long term relationship with my back. It follows me everywhere, and it hurts; a lot sometimes.

This is one of those times.

The weather doesn't help much... but the big thing was: I wrestled our billy goat to the ground the other day. He kept trying to butt me. I have a sore foot and finger, but somehow I became SUPER WOMAN for a few minutes and he and I had it out!
I WON! Sort of.... Let's just say when I let him up, he squared off at me again, lowered his head and then I stompled my foot and he took off running. :) THAT was so satisfying!

BUT....now I am paying, big time. I think my elbow doesn't hurt.... other than that....

So today, I was trying to do laundry. I put the clothes down to fold and tried to get into a comfortable position to fold them, but there wasn't one. Everything just hurt.
So I was sort of, quietly weeping at my dilemma of needing to fold clothes, and being in pain....
Before I knew it, Erika came over and tenderly asked, "Mommy, are you ok?"
I said, "Yes, I'm ok."

She asked, "Why are you crying?"

I said, "Probably because I'm a girl."

We both started laughing.

She wanted to hug me, but I was on the floor and she can't bend down, so I had to get up....
OUCH!!!!!

So, I finally got up and she hugged me and said the sweetest thing:
After she had layed her head on my chest she looked up with a smile and said,
"Well, at least your heart is beeping!" LOL

That just made my day....

The day I eat Cabrito will make my day too! Rotten goat.

Don't We All Wish That

Tonight I was making dinner for the family. It was time to serve, so I sent Anna out with Daddy's dinner and dinner for our employee.

She came back in and said, "Daddy is off running an errand."

I said, "Oh dear. I wish he had told me he was going, I would have saved his dinner."

In her finest accent she said, "Don't we all wish that of our men!" LOL

Twirly Girlie

New Baby Girls

The Joy Of Girls

I couldn't stop laughing last night when

Sarah came weeping.....

"I'm so mad at ERIKA!"

I said, "Why, what happened?"

She was sobbing...."She says she needs her PRIVACY!"

So I asked, "Where is she?"

"In the Bathroom!" boo-hoo!

Well, don't you think it is normal to want privacy in the bathroom?


"She never wanted privacy before? Now she does, EVER SINCE SHE GOT BREASTS!"

"Now she doesn't want me in the bathroom with her!"

"I wish sisters didn't get breasts until they were 30 !!!!! "

I just love Sarah. :-)


So fast forward to today:
Erika and I went out for our mommy daughter date


We got back from the store and I had my super secret stash of Boston baked beans. The girls saw them and had their hands out.....

I said "You don't want these, they are BEANS!"

They still had their hands out and I said,
"Are you sure you want these? They are magic breast growing beans!" LOL

Sarah said, "I'll take 2!"
Anna said, "Give me the big ones!"


Hmmmm. :)

Human Children! Hello! :)

I took Erika out for a mommy daughter lunch today. I try to take each of our children out once a month for mommy time, and daddy does the same.

We went to a restaurant during "off hours" so we didn't feel rushed and just sat and adored each other.

(for those of you who don't know, Erika has arthrogryposis (malformation of the joints) and 4 months after we returned home, had to have both of her feet amputated because she was in so much pain)

So here is this bright, beautiful, smart, and did I say sweet little girl sitting before me, and I posed a question to her.

"If somebody were to ask you, 'What kind of kids are available for adoption in Ukraine?' what would you say?"

She rolled her beautiful eyes and said, "Human children, Hello!" :-)
cracked me up.

She then went on to talk about being in the orphanage where she never had a visitor. Her orphanage was not popular for adoption, and during the 4 years she was there, she saw 5 of her friends leave, including Sarah. (her sister now)

(Erika's first four years were spent in a "left to lay room". Her actual
paper work doesn't even show her existence during that time. Sarah was found in a TB sanitarium and didn't even get to an orphanage until she was 4. She was adopted by another family on her 5th birthday, and she came to us 6 weeks before her 6th birthday due to an adoption disruption)

She said, "I never expected anybody to love me. I used to cry at night because I knew I would never be chosen, because I am like this.... (speaking of her body)

She continued, "But then you came. And I KNOW you love me." "I was so shocked that it was ME that time. I couldn't believe it! I never, ever thought it would happen to me!"

So we sat and sipped our cokes and had chicken enchiladas and adored each other's company. Mother and daughter, bonded by love for each other forever!

I couldn't be any closer to a child who came from my body... as far as I'm concerned it is as if she did, and I am proud of her.

I can't help but feel that people miss out so much and limit themselves so much because of fear. My husband and I don't have loads of money or a money tree.
But God does provide for our needs... (note, I said needs.) Trips like Disney World are out of the question, and new things are not important.
We are frugal, and don't really honestly care about stuff......
Kids are way more important.

I just wonder, how many children are there, going to bed at night, weeping alone in the dark, so very, very deserving of our love, yet all alone; knowing they will never be "chosen"?
Why? Because they aren't good enough, perfect enough, pretty enough,healthy enough.... :-(

At the same time, I don't judge somebody who wouldn't take somebody like Erika or Sarah, or even our Anna.... I just figure God had them all saved for me.:-)
I am so blessed. WAY WAY beyond what I deserve.

Oh to have a gold bar in my closet to chip from, and a few extra bedrooms.
(I'm dead serious)

BTW- did I mention we are getting our homestudy updated? :-)

The Tapestry Story

I do not remember where I heard this, but here goes:

I love the story of the tapestry.
There was a little boy sitting at his mother's feet as she was sewing a tapestry. After a long while of him gazing up, he had this strange look on his face. His mother asked him, "Darling, What is the matter?"

His reply was, "Mommy, that is the ugliest thing I have ever seen!"

His mother turned her tapestry over, and He was right! It was ugly. There were knots, and strings and threads and they were all crossed in various ways and it WAS ugly!

His mother replied, "Oh sweetie, you are right, but you are looking at it all wrong!

You see, if you look at it from up here, it is beautiful!"
With that she turned the tapestry over for him to see. It WAS beautiful. It was perfectly stitched.
"The little boy replied with joy, "OH Mommy! It is PERFECT!" I couldn't see what you saw!

That is exactly how this life is for us. We see things from underneath; from our human perspective. The entire time, GOD is weaving the tapestry of our lives from up above, and He sees our lives from HIS perspective. He sees the right side of that tapestry.

He is weaving something beautiful with the fabric of our lives. :)

How To Get Rich Quick

Sticking Out Tongues and Crooked Paths

Tonight during family worship, we were finishing up the 2nd Chapter of Proverbs. Chapter 2 speaks of treasuring wisdom and understanding the fear of the Lord.

We talked about the difference between "Healthy" fear, and "Unhealthy" fear.

The girls came up with very good ideas and seem to really understand the concept that not all fear is bad.

We talked about discernment and following the wicked and how it can lead from the path of life to a crooked path.

They were able to come up with lots of ideas on that scripture too.

As we were wrapping up the evening, the girls gave another idea of "healthy fear". It had to do with Bryan the Billy goat. It is good to be careful around him, because he can butt if you don't watch him. That is a type of "fear". We aren't trembling afraid of him, but keep our distance and don't let him behind us or he might butt us. And mom remembered the other day when Erika said, "Bryan won't butt me!" and she proceeded to walk up to him. He did and mom had to catch her on the way down. LOL

We were all laughing and I caught her out of the corner of my eye jokingly sticking out her tongue.....

So then I said, "And look at verse 23 in chapter 2!"

It says, "Thou shaltest NOT sticketh out thy tongue at thy mother, as it will leadeth down a crooked path!"

She looked down at her bible really fast and we all cracked up laughing.:)
There is no verse 23.

OH MOTHER!! :)

A Most Wonderful Time

I just love my little Sarah. :)

Every month I try to take each of my girlies out alone for mom and daughter time. Today it was Sarah's turn. She wanted to go shopping in Down Town Wylie.
So I took her out for a special meal and then we shopped at our favorite store.

My favorite time was just watching her all grown up and having a most wonderful conversation about life, school, friends, and morality. She is growing up to be such a great kid.

She informed me that when she is 14, I will be 54 and maybe by then we could go and see a movie together. :)
She said she has gotten really good at math by playing the Phase 10 dice game! And all this time I thought it was because I was such a great teacher. :)

While we were in the car, she announced, it sure it hot in here, glad I brought my deoderant! Then she proceeded to put it on! LOL I think we need lessons on appropriate places to put deoderant on. She was treating it like perfume. :)

BUT... I'm glad she is thinking about not stinking!

It is such a short time before our kids are all grown up. I sure am having a great time watching them turn into little ladies. :)

Oh The Deep Deep Love Of Jesus

I love this song:
I have it on my play list



O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus - Samuel Francis (1834 - 1925)

O the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me.
Underneath me, all around me,
Is the current of His love
Leading onward leading homeward,
To Thy glorious rest above

O the deep, deep love of Jesus
Spread His praise from shore to shore.
How he loveth ever loveth
changeth never, nevermore.
How He watcheth o’er His loved ones,
Died to call them all His own;
How for them He intercedeth,
Watcheth o’er them from the throne!


O the deep, deep love of Jesus
Love of ev’ry, love the best!
‘Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
‘Tis a haven sweet of rest.
O the deep, deep love of Jesus
‘Tis a heav’n of heav’ns to me;
And it lifts me up to glory,
For it lifts me, Lord, to Thee!

You Must Have Eight Hearts

We had our home study update started last night. We always enjoy visiting with our social worker. This will be our 4th home study with her. So we relaxed into conversation, pizza and business. She talked to the girls briefly about how they felt about having a new sister.

They were so funny. Erika really doesn't mind what kind of sister she gets. Sarah wants one EXACTLY her age, and Anna asked for a sister with "all her limbs like me."

I figured that was fair. :)

After our social worker left, Anna climbed into my lap and was giving me a loving contemplating look. I asked her, "What is on your mind?" She said, "You must have 8 hearts." I asked her, "Why do you say that?"

She said, "Because I know you love me with your whole heart, and I know you love my sisters and brothers with your whole heart too, and if we get a new sister, that will be 8."

So, you must have 8 hearts. :)

Tools Put To Good Use

With 5 little girlies running around here all week it has been interesting watching them figure out where they belong.... Having chickens makes "pecking order" come to life, and there is also a "natural" pecking order with kids, especially when they are all close to the same age. :)

Well, yesterday Sarah had HAD IT with being "bossed around" by 3 older girls. I heard her on the front porch after somebody corrected something she said say, "THAT IS IT!"
She was not a happy camper!
I don't know what "IT" was, but THAT WAS IT!

So I called her in and sat with her on the rocking chair a few minutes and told her, "Sweety, do you think you can solve your problem by yelling?" Her answer was, "No, BUT THEY....."

So I asked her again, "How can you solve your problem?"

I think she was really over reacting to a simple situation, so I asked her to open her "tool box" and she started to smile. I put a "no more yelling" tool in there. We snuggled for a minute and then she sat straight up! "MOMMY! I'VE GOT IT!"

She ran outside and went over to Erika who was sitting on the swing. She told her, "Hey Erika, Open your toolbox!" Erika was grinning and opened her "tool box". I heard Sarah say, "I know you don't think you need this but believe me you do!" She gave her a "no more bossing people around tool!" :)

And they played happily the rest of the day!

Pineapple Juice, Tents and Little Girls

We had such a fun day. After the park I suggested the girls get their tent out and set it up, then they could read and relax in their tent.

They had set up a miniature "Enterprise City" all around the house, each selling their wares to each other for various prices, and I figured it would be a good idea to get them back out into the sun.

Well, I noticed the tent went up, and then I noticed it went right back down. Hmmmm.
I asked the girls, "Why did you take the tent down?"

One of them said, "Somebody spilled Pineapple Juice in the tent". WHAT?

So I see this 1/2 gallon size can of Pineapple Juice laying on the lawn, empty.
I asked about the tent again, and a tearful Anna came up and said, "Mommy, I spilled the Pineapple Juice in the tent so we had to put it away."

Uh, did you clean the tent? No, we just put it away.

With that, I decided they should clean it, and I should go to the store.

I left them with daddy for a while and went to Wally World.

When I came back, there was the cutest note waiting for me.
They each wrote a little part of it and said how much they loved me.
Then, they said they had cleaned the kitchen, dishes, and living room. It was dark when I walked in. I heard these little giggles coming from the living room and then they all popped up from the couch and yelled SURPRISE! :)


I was so happy that Anna had told the truth, and happy that they had noticed that Mommy/Gramma needed some help AND they really wanted to do something nice for me.

I couldn't ask for sweeter kids. :)

Day Three Of Our Visit

Today we went to the park and flew Kites. We found some great Kites at Walmart and the girls got them so high, they ran out of string! Here are some pictures from our day.
I had a hard time getting pics of some of those girls. They were off riding bikes, flying kites, and sliding slides. Anna decided to just "hang" around. :)

Let The Week Begin

The grand girls are here for the week. I woke up to the need for STRONG COFFEE!
We are having a fun visit. So far today they have played STORE all day long. That means they all have junk and pennies and set up little stores and sell their wares.
Lillian did pretty well. I gave her some old stickers to sell and she made out with a lot of pennies. Anna purchased an old wallet and Katie purchased something from Ukraine. :)
Oh the joys of childhood. :)

The Best Visit Ever

Tonight, we had such a fun time with our son Marcus, our daughter Ivy and our sweetie pie of a grandson Will. I so much enjoyed our visit.

Having older kids is just great. Especially when they are wonderful older kids bearing grandchildren. :)

Marcus and Ivy are great parents. I watched them tonight as they lovingly watched over little Will. They reminded me of the birds I see caring for their young, tag teaming to make sure he was safe, fed and not in any danger. :)

They are going to be bringing a new member into the family and I am so excited for them.

There is no greater joy than watching your adult children follow in the footsteps of the Lord. I just love them all so much. But dangit~ I didn't get a picture!

Anna's Salsa Recipe GLUTEN FREE! :)

Yesterday, I was deep into typing and Anna asked if she could make something in the kitchen. I told her yes.

She came up with : Anna's Salsa and I must say it is really good!

SO here is her recipe:

Anna's Salsa


Great Value Italian Diced Tomatoes- 1 can
Rotel diced tomatoes with cilantro and lime
1/3 cup of pace salsa
1 shake of Garlic powder
1 small shake of Cardamom
1/2 shake of cream of tarter
2 shakes of Dill weed
1 shake of sweet basil
2 shakes of old bay seasoning
5 sprigs of fresh cilantro torn up

Mix it all together.


We took it over to a friend's house for our play date and her older daughter came home from college. She said, "Wow, this is the most delicious salsa I have ever had!" LOL
What is the recipe? I told her to go ask Anna. :)
From her recipe, it looks like she cooks like Mama.

stir and put in a jar.

The Confusion of Beyond Consequences Logic and Control

I have had many conversations over the last couple of years about the approach we use with our children.
It wasn't until after a post yesterday that I actually understood where the confusion comes from when folks don't quite understand.

I don't think the approach is really that different from what we have always done, minus a few time outs or a grounding or even a swat or two from long ago with the boys.

I think the difference really is the "Outlook" or "Perspective" from where you parent.

There is no question that you love your kids.
BUT...Are you parenting your child in a state of panic and fear of the future, wanting them to turn out perfectly or better than you did? Are you hoping that your parents will be proud of your skills and that others will applaud your efforts? Are you feeling like everything they do is a reflection of you personally? Do you feel that their spiritual values are totally dependent upon you and not the Holy Spirit?

OR

Are you parenting from deep love in your heart that you pour into another individual, giving them guidance, spiritual understanding and acceptance, and loving them on a path that leads to life? Not reacting to their "off the trail" adventures to the never land of destruction, but shining the light back on the trail so they can be gently guided back?

I think that is where the confusion comes from. "What about when they go off that path? How do you not REACT?" "Why wouldn't you REACT?"

Reactive parenting winds up being usually like "arm chair" parenting. Stop that!
I said Stop that! If you do that again, you are going to get a time out! That's it! TIME OUT! Don't look at me that way! Who do you think you are? I am your mom and you WILL OBEY ME NOW! YOU WILL RESPECT ME! YOU WILLL....."Don't you roll your eyes at me!..... And those little heals dig in and those little eyes no longer look at the crazy fuming person who is supposed to love them and they forget all about what they did but start to feel defensive and scared and wonder if they are going to die or if mom and dad are going to love them any more and then when they are alone in their room with all that time to think... they say, "why bother", I'll never live up. They don't care. I have to take care of myself. I have to survive. All those little things they think are not true. But they don't know that, their experience tells them something different. Because they HAVE been abused. They have been neglected. They have been wronged and rejected.

The idea is instead of react, RESPOND. Responding requires planned, self controlled thought out direction. It is studying and knowing what will work best for your child to bring them back on the path.

Reacting is instant. It doesn't require thought. It usually reaches way back to somewhere in our past and brings out the worst in us. And the thought "Why did I just say what my mother used to say to me?" Where did that come from?

We ALL react sometimes. I know I do. The goal however, is to get to a place of naturally RESPONDING. I truly believe that can only be done with much prayer and supplication, surrendering our hearts to our Lord and learning to treat our children as HE has treated us.
He Brings us to a place of complete TRUST. We go off the beaten path when we don't trust Him.
He gently woo's us back because he is slow to anger and abounding in long suffering, patience and kindness. While we hated him, HE LOVED us. He knows us, from our very inward parts.

As we get to know our children, we learn to respond to their needs. When we respond instead of react, it puts the child in a place where they can begin to trust. When they are able to trust, then it isn't so scary to let go of control and allow themselves to be guided and loved by a parent.

This does not mean, you don't discipline. This does not mean they get away with horrid behavior. To discipline is to teach and to guide. It is to provide knowledge about life by modeling it to them.

As our children learn to trust us, and as they become more relaxed, there are natural consequences that will happen in life during the course of a regular day that will also help to guide them.

In BCLC there is a model called the Window of Tolerance. In a traumatized child the window is barely open compared to a child who is being raised in a nurturing environment.
The goal is to get that window open wider and wider. You will see a huge difference over time as you respond to your child's needs. And eventually that window will look like any other window. That is the goal.

Here is an example of how a parent would handle a younger child in a store.

If you ask them to not grab things in the store and their little hands keep on grabbing; simply taking them home is a natural consequence to grabbing. Explaining gently that they must listen to mommy is very important at a later time when they are calm and you are calm, that is the teaching and guiding time.
You spoke truth to them that they can trust.
You responded to their disobedience.
AND THEN, after things were calm, and they were in a place that they could listen, you go back over the event that occurred in a loving manner and explain what is expected. Communicating with them at a very deep level. Children respond very well to this.
Then, before you get out of the car next time, you gently remind them of what they learned the day before or the hour before..... "remember what we talked about"....and give a big hug.

My guess is, and my experience has been, even with my boys,that it only needs to happen once. And you no longer have kids grabbing things in the store.
Very simple, very calm, and problem solved.

For the parent who says, "if you touch that again,I'm going to spank you, or we are leaving if you do that ONE MORE TIME, and then thousand times later, the parent opens a yet to be purchased bag of chips in the store to keep the little hands busy" etc. This parent has taught the child 4 things.
1. You don't mean what you say.
2. The child has upset you.
3. The child is rewarded with chips for unwanted behavior
4. Mom lets me have things without paying for it.

No lesson of value was learned.

People will ask though: "Where is the discipline?" I think what they are asking is, "what punishments do you give out?"

The answer is, leaving the store was the natural consequence. It isn't a "consequence like, If you do this then I do that." Those types of things usually don't teach much.
AND with a child with a low window of tolerance, it will teach NOTHING.

The discipline, which is teaching and guiding takes place during that calm discussion time where you can reach your child's heart, talk about their behavior, their fears and their frustrations. At THAT time you can offer them the "tools" I talk about so much. What you are really teaching is true discipline, which is self discipline. You are teaching them INWARD discipline which is much more powerful that outward control because of threats of punishment. You are really reaching their hearts.

As time has gone on with our own children including our famous Joseph....:) we have seen those windows of tolerance open wide. It has taken longer for some than others, but through loving, consistent guidance and direction, they are all doing well and we are quite thankful.

I have also learned a lot about myself. I am enjoying parenting so much now, and feel free to just love them as individuals. Each of them. All wonderful 7 of them.(even though 4 are grown) :) My instruction to them spiritually is freed too. I don't feel like I have to open their heads and pound in truth. I have been guilty of that before. I just need to model it to them through my life.

I think it was St. Francis of Assissi who said, "Share the gospel daily, and if you have to, use words."
you can read part 2 here

Little Moments With Sarah

Little Moments with Sarah
The Turn The Other Cheek Lesson

"If somebody strikes you, turn the other cheek!" This was part of our little talk this a.m. along with Love your Neighbor as yourself......

So I say, you would never want somebody to strike you, so you should never strike anybody else.

Sarah says,"Oh, I thought turn the other cheek meant, if somebody hits you on the cheek you turn and hit their cheek right back!"

LOL

One Of Those Great Mommy Moments

Anna and I were talking off and on over the week about tools in our toolbox. A few posts down she had asked "how she should respond" when she did her math wrong....
I was so proud of her!

Well, for years now we have used the imaginary "tool box" and we have had humorous moments of using those tools, or needing to get them out when the tool box seemed to be locked!

We have had such wonderful weeks with her really applying herself in all areas of life.

I complimented her today and told her how proud I was of her doing so well.

Her reply was, "Well Mama! You are just the 'Locksmith of love'!"

cracked me up.

Having Our Homestudy Updated and Grand Daughters Visiting

Mike and I are going to have our home study updated at the end of next week.
We are really excited to see what the Lord is doing in our lives, and there have been rumblings and hints in our hearts of another family member, so we figured, instead of scrambling to get things done last minute, we will get ahead of the ball and update.

Home studies in the U.S. are good for 18 months, so our last one went out of date about 18 months ago. :)

For an adoptive family, not having an updated home study makes one feel rather naked.:)

We always look forward to our social worker coming. She is the best.
When we had to have our first one done for Anna, I was actually scared to death. I had never come face to face with a real social worker at my house.
She came in and put us at ease and we fell into conversation. Since that time, she has updated our home studies twice, so this will be our 4th time with her. She loves seeing the girls progress and always stays just to watch them play.

I think she will have an extra treat this time because our grand daughters will be visiting next week too. So there will be 5 little girls running around. I gotta get this house clean, but then again, with 5 little girls all next week, maybe we can play "Poor Pretty Princesses". :) I am picturing clean floors and windows. LOL

I am so happy for the little girl who needed a home in California. She was able to stay in California. As she transitions to her new home, please pray for her and her new family.

And as for us: Please pray that the Lord sends to us the child He has chosen for our family. The girls are excited about the prospect of a new sister. Anna doesn't want to be told about any child needing a home until we are SURE they are coming! So we told her we wouldn't say anything to her. :) Erika and Sarah want to know everything including all the plans if they happen or not.
I joked that our next child will probably come with 8 cavities. (the others all did)
But I better not say that...... :/

Mike says, with all the estrogen flowing in this house we could run our own power plant. Just wait till Katie and Lillian come next week. We'll have extra to spare. :)

Frontier House

Most of ya'll probably know that I LOVE history. I didn't know I loved it until I started teaching it. It is a crime to make history boring, but that is what I experienced during my growing up years, with the exception of 4th grade.

We have been studying the Westward Expansion, which included The Oregon Trail.
As part of our unit, I included the PBS series called Frontier House.

The series is not for little kids, and discresion is needed as there are some issues of morality, but there is also much value to the series.

I decided to let the girls watch and use some of the objectionable material to promote discussion. Everything went really well and there were numerous issues that came out of that series, not necessarily having to do with history, but having to do with marriage, roles in families, and what is truly important.

I also had the girls do a paper on the series and write about each family, and if they would like to have lived back in 1883.
Their paper required a Cover, Title page, Map and Drawing along with a report.
They started last Wednesday and finished yesterday and today. I am so proud of them. We did a first draft, then second, then third, and some did a fourth and probably need ed a fifth but mommy is a merciful mommy and decided not to push fate. :)

I think they are really proud of themselves, I know I am proud of them.

Importance of Adoption and Special Needs

This Red Bud Tree is How I feel when I see My Children Succeed. I want to break out into singing, lifting my hands in Praise the to the Lord.

I was not going to blog for at least a week as my hand is sore, but I have to come out of rest and blog about this very important issue. ADOPTION!

Since the woman in California gave birth to Octuplets after having 6 other children under the age of 7,there has been a backlash in the community against large families, and especially against families with Special Needs Children.

I know of nobody who would defend this woman's actions, BUT... her children are here to stay, they are healthy and she is their mom.
SHE has NOTHING to do with typical large families or those who adopt special needs kids. She has simply tried to make a name for herself and seems to wind up in the media a lot.

The backlash I am speaking of has me very concerned. There have been people rudely attacked with vicious words of disdain because they have large families or special needs children.
They have been accused of being addicted to adoption, adopting "throw away kids", and my favorite was the wonderful man who asked me how much my daughter was costing him.
(referring to his taxes)
The answer: NOTHING.

Not every person who has children with special needs applies for benefits for those children even IF it IS their right to do so.
I am really concerned about the attitudes towards families and children in general.
We are scarily on the slippery slope that led to Nazi's gassing the "unwanteds".
We need to remember that all of us are 1 accident away from being an "unwanted".

It is considered unnatural or weird to WANT to be a mom, especially a stay at home mom and especially if you want more than 1 or 2 children.

It is vogue to order a baby and schedule the due date, and even try to have two at
one time, but it isn't ok to just be a mom, especially if you don't have your entire life planned out to the nth degree for mega retirement and the mansion on a hilltop, and don't forget the complete coverage of all your children's college educations.

Just one look at our present economy and you can see that the most responsible of people can lose out in the end. Their barns were full, but now they are empty.

Adopting children is not about us. It is about them. It is about the ability to love another person fully and totally, giving without expecting back in return, and it is a rewarding, HUGE blessing.
It is about molding and shaping a life and giving them a chance where there wasn't a chance before. It is about taking an arrow pointed at destruction and aiming it at success.
It is about unconditionally loving another human being. It is about pouring yourself out in prayer and tears for the sake of another, and much of the work is hidden.

There is concerted effort to make another succeed both emotionally and spiritually. There is no "luck" in the equation. It is hard work, it is the lowest paying job monetarily on the planet (as it is voluntary AND will cost you money. Lots of it!) But it is the most rewarding job you will ever do.
Watching a child who never smiled before break out in a huge grin, watching a child walk for the first time without pain,watching a child love you back unprovoked for the first time, watching a child give from within themselves and do a selfless act,watching a child pray,watching a child BE a child for the very first time! This is what adoption is all about.

It isn't about a selfish addiction, it is about a selfless life.

For those families whom I love and admire for all of your HARD work and selfless giving:
May the Lord Bless You and Keep you and Give you Peace.

Psalm 127:3-5
Behold Children are a heritage from the Lord........
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.....

Ever Have One Of Those Days? We have ...GOOD AND BAD AND UGLY

Bad and Ugly first:
Yesterday was a mixed day. I'm getting used to getting around on a broken foot and even cooked breakfast....Then, I got really brave and decided to go to the store. This was my second time to the store. The first time didn't go so well. So I figured, more time, less pain....
I went out to the car and it was plugged in. So I tried to unplug it.

That plug was hard for me and then it came out really fast and I lost my balance and fell into these lovely auto shop thingys.


So once again, Mike had to rescue me from my own disaster. I was stuck and could not get up. This time, my right wrist is very sore, and I think I may have broken my finger too. It is very sore and it doesn't bend, which makes it hard to type.
Since they don't do much for fingers, I'm just going to tape it and hope for the best.

My foot hurt more last night along with my wrist, back and finger. My sweet husband got in bed and announced, "You're a mess!" gee thanks dear, I needed that.

So, I think I am going to need a bit of a break from blogging. I'm going to take a week off and see if my finger and wrist feel better. I can't stand typing this way.

I need a new heart attitude. I know. Kids with no legs and loads of issues and I can't handle a little broken foot and finger. BUT....THEY DON'T have to do all that I have to do! Excuses.... I know.
I just need to go pray.

I have the condo on the beach with sun shining through the sheer windblown curtains, while sitting on a chase lounge sipping iced tea with a little umbrella thingy and smelling the ocean breeze, listening to the waves. And everything is white, AND clean...... dreams.

TRUTH..... laundry, goat poop, walls that need painted, porches that need cleaned, and white floors that need scrubbed.

I think we need to play the Cinderella Princess game again. :)

I have one more post for this week and it is about Anna.
I think I'll just do it here to save my fingers: The Good Part of this post:

Anna has learning issues most likely caused by D and A exposure. She has been improving rapidly and I just wanted to share something.

Typically, if she is faced with a problem that she really struggles in, she may react by getting mad, or crying, or staring off into space etc. It is a job to keep her focused. But today, she was working on long division. She is doing remainders. I remember my own days of trying to learn, and there was no help because my mom didn't understand long division. I remember crying every day over it. I shared that with Anna last week.
And I also told her. Mom is here to help get you through this!

Guess what! She said to me, "Mom, I just did the wrong line in my book and got it all wrong.... What do you think my reaction should be?" LOL
I turned around and said, "We'll I'd be frustrated by that too, so your reaction should be to come and get a big hug and mom will help get you to the right line!"
YEA.... I cracked up at her trying to use a tool from her mental tool box.
She chose "self control". I'm so happy for her. It was also just darn cute. :) Here she is doing her math. I think she looks proud of herself!


She also cooked herself this great breakfast!

These eggs came straight from the coop and into the frying pan. :)

Praying For Little Dennis

Dennis is getting ready to have surgery in about 10 minutes. I'm sure he is already being prepped and mom (Christine) is waiting to hand him over to the surgeon. Please keep them in your prayers today. I have no idea how long his surgery will be, but I'm sure it will be lengthy. If you scroll down my side bar, you will see a picture of Dennis. He is from Ukraine and today is a huge day. He is having reconstructive surgery on his face. He has restrictive band syndrome, like Sarah, but the fibrous bands went around his face and caused his deformities. Sarah's were around her legs,arms and fingers. He is a happy little guy, and I'm sure when he wakes up, he is going to be a mad little guy. Please pray for comfort for Dennis and his family as they help him recuperate from surgery, and as he gets used to how he will look. This is one of many surgeries to follow.

Signs of Spring and Sweet Gestures

I can't believe that it "Feels" like Spring already! Our Red Bud Tree is beginning to bloom.

We are seeing little flowers pop out of the ground. Anna brought these flowers in yesterday and put them in her refrigerator sheep. :)

The sun seems to be coming up earlier and Earlier! I heard a rumor that Spring Forward is next weekend. I'm not sure it that is true or not, but it sure seems awfully early!

Some of the things I look forward to in Spring are the rain storms, the sounds of the Thunder and the sight of the Lightening. It is just awesome and spectacular sitting on the front porch and watching the sky light up in the thunderous clouds piled thousands of feet high. I also love working the soil and planting the new garden. This year I am vying for raised beds. I think we need to have a successful garden this year and not just a "want to be a garden". :)

I love going and picking out the seeds to plant and the smell of the tomato plants.
I also love that life starts afresh. We are going to have baby goats any time now and I can't wait to meet them.

Here is a picture of Erika and Mike sitting by the window early this a.m. The sun is already up! Usually it is still dark at this time, but not today! Spring.....


My Daughter in Law Jodie came over last night to visit with our grand daughters Katie and Lillian. They are such cutie pies. They brought me this wonderful bouquet of Spring Tulips!

I love tulips. They are my favorite flower.:)
I thought that was so sweet of them to bring me flowers. Spring Break is coming up for Katie and Lillian and we will be able to spend the week together. How special is that? My grand daughters are so sweet. I'm really looking forward to a week together.
We are planning a spelling bee,math bee, reading "Stepping Heavenward",doing some science experiments and creating lots of great artwork.

Morning Events

One of my favorite parts of the day is watching Sarah and Daddy interact. She loves to get up early so she can spend time with him alone. Today, since I am a bit layed up, they cooked breakfast together. He is so patient. He let her turn the bacon carefully showing her how to keep from getting splattered with grease. When I took this picture from my chair daddy said, "Oh No Mommy! I haven't even combed my hair yet!"LOL


Anna's morning job is to let the goats, chickens and duck out, feed them, get them their water and collect the eggs.
Today she had a creative way of getting the eggs. I think she would have had a problem if there were more than 2!