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Saturday, June 11, 2011

BCLC.... Time to Share Again

Today is the day of our home study update.  In 2 hours our social worker will be here.  About 2 hours ago,  the girls were going to watch a movie. (trying to keep the house clean) :) 

Alli really does do best when everything is the same, on a schedule and she can count on what is happening.  She knows our friend is coming and that she is special. She does not know that she is our social worker, because she is afraid of social workers....
So, back to the movie:
Erika sits in one part of the couch where she is comfy and Alli likes the other end.  BUT... Miss Alli also likes to sit forward and it seems to block Erika's view. Soooo, Erika asked her to move back so she could see too....to which Alli refused. Flat out said No.  She told Erika, " I always have to move, it is YOUR turn to move!" 
Erika can't move easily... and she cannot sit on a floor at all..... I don't think Alli fully understood how much Erika cannot bend.  So instead of being kind, she wanted to help Erika to the floor so she could see better! The other girls said NO, don't do that, but she  managed to help Erika to the floor....but Erika didn't WANT to sit on the floor.  Alli was trying to show her ways she could. LOL  Erika was not amused.

Where was I?  I literally had walked out the back door to talk with somebody and was gone less than 5 minutes.....  UGH

So Alli came out to me and sat on my lap. I could tell she was upset... she was doing her breathing.
So, we went into the house together, turned off the movie and I asked Anna to give her best version of what happened.  Everybody, including Alli agreed that that was what happened.

So, I asked Erika if she was fine. She was.  I took Alli outside onto the porch swing and we had a  talk.
 Alli felt that everybody had ganged up on her... 
I told her, they all expressed their disapproval for what you were doing, and now I will have to do the same thing.  It was not right what you did.  We should NEVER EVER touch another person and make them move when they don't want to move.  That was wrong!
I think she finally understood what I was telling her when I gave her this example:
  I asked her to close her eyes and pretend she was in a wheel chair and couldn't walk.  And then I asked her to imagine somebody coming up to her and demanding that she stand up!  And then they insisted again that you stand up... and you said you couldn't.  And then they physically tried to take you out of your wheel chair!
"How would that make you feel?" 
Yet she was still mad that they were inside finishing a movie and she was outside talking to me.

I told her that had she tried to understand  while we were talking inside, we wouldn't be out here....but it wouldn't be fair for them to have to wait.
She listened intently..... and then snuggled up.... after about 20 minutes, she was calm and looked up and said, "I'm really sorry mommy..... "  I told her she also needed to apologize to her sister.

We rocked a few minutes longer and then she went inside and  very sincerely asked Erika to forgive her....
Erika did, and all was well again. :)

So next for me?  I think I need to rearrange the furniture. :)

3 comments:

KC said...

So what's next for me? I think I need a swing. Seriously loving this swing thing. What a great "retreat" to talk it out. Blessings, and give Alli our best. (love that name, and she's just got a face that says, "I am a live wire and full of life").

Mike and Christie said...

KC, rockers are serious around here! LOL If you don't have one, I surely recommend you get one.... :)
Rocking actually helps a child soothe. We rock babies for that very reason. Older kids need it too. I think I have spent more time in the rocking chair than anywhere! LOL

We had a family rocker (double seater) that I gave to my brother. It is a regret and we may need to find another one. :)

Annie said...

I think I need one. Nastia gets in my lap occasionally, but we can't rock.

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