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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Forgiveness and Blankets

Tonight, we had a HUGE breakthrough.....

Let me back up almost 6 years..... Sarah.... had BLANKET ISSUES!  She gave Anna a bloody nose over blankets. :/
Fast forward to Sarah and Alli sharing the same double bed...... They have been getting along grandly. In fact, today I observed them coming back from the dumpster near our road, arm in arm..... and the day went on quite well.....
Then, tonight happened....
Alli took the entire blankets!  ALL OF THEM... Sarah had none.
Sarah complained and Alli felt threatened..... escalation.............ugh!

So, I got Sarah in a good place, and she went over to Erika's bed to visit for awhile, while I spoke with Alli.
Alli INSTANTLY went into defense mode. She was in fetal position and recoiled when I tried to touch her.
I immediately implored for her to open her "tool box'.
She was not willing and recoiled to a different part of the bed....
And then, I just took her in my arms. She fought it for about 10 seconds and then it seemed ok.
I told her, she was safe and I know she needs blankets because for a LONG time, she was cold, all the time.
She relaxed abit and hugged me.  She thought Sarah was mad at her and that she lied about her taking the blankets.
I let her know Sarah would be ok, and she was not mad, but she DID take all the blankets, as Sarah had none when I came in the room.....
As we talked, I let her know that we MUST forgive others when we feel they have wronged us.
Sarah let Alli know she was sorry a bout their argument, and she didn't think she "stole" the blankets.
Alli at first refused to forgive.
As I talked with her more about what forgiveness REALLY is, she began to soften and calm down....
and then.... after some more discussion, she said, "Sarah, I 'm sorry!"  She went over and hugged her and asked her to forgive her! This is a BIG HUGE HONKIN" DEAL!
Sarah  sleepily forgave.... and Alli needed a banana and a drink of water.... LOL
BUT .... she moved on, and realized she could forgive and be believed at the same time.
I told her that she needed her OWN blankets. She seemed happy about that. So from now on, there will be separate blankets of those two sweeties. :)
So GLAD ALLI chose to forgive. :)
So GLAD Sarah chose to be humble..... :)
Those are my girls!

3 comments:

Diana said...

You are amazing! You inspire me. You really do.

I'm getting so weary of trying to help RAD heal and SO tired of the myriad of CONSTANT mind games and manipulation tactics and refusal to comply with anything and pretty much everything. The passive aggression (quickly turned physical aggression) is driving me bonkers.

I'm seriously slipping in my therapeutic abilities at the moment. Not a good place to be, especially since I've got RAD x 2 and my adorable children manifest on both ends of the spectrum...and there's a 3rd caught in the middle.

mommajeane said...

"Those are my girls." is exactly right...they have a beautiful role model in a momma who is humble and forgiving. That is the best teacher ever...what you walk and not just what you talk. I love hearing your stories.

Annie said...

I love the way you believed her. That is always my instinct, because, I think, the most horrible moments that stand out in my mind are those of not being believed when I was telling the truth (from my point of view). When I was accused of doing something on purpose which was an accident. I'd always rather err on the other side.

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