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Monday, September 6, 2010

The "Get Me An Egg" Followup




Following up on our Egg Post
Honestly, this was so out of the blue... we couldn't think of a particular reason for it.
There really WAS no reason for it. She just got up and was on the wrong side of bed. :)

We sat down and had our talk, and she was regretful at what she had done. She apologized and said she didn't really even know why she did it.

So, we moved on.

Since then, we have had a rather uneventful and happy day! They all worked on various things around the house, after all this is, "Labor Day", and attitudes have been MUCH better.

Now, honestly, here I am typing this and feeling a little gripey myself. :) I had to go shopping, and I am just not a shopper. It stresses me out. So it is my turn to have someone be patient with me. :)

The same little girl who was so offensive this a.m., came up to me in the store and said, "Mama, you look like you could use a hug." LOL
She was right.
And an escape to the nearest exit sign. :)

We did find some very good deals for back to school clothing. Today is the day we take all the stuff that is too worn, or too small and toss it into a sack and then, hang up the newer items that are in much better condition and fit. :) I found a nice winter coast for Sarah for 5 dollars! I found a dress for myself for 3.00 and 2 Christmas Dresses for the girls for 1.50 each! One still had the tags on it.

We are working on making sure we are dressed modestly, and not TOO casually. I have been a little concerned about just how casual we can get when left to our own choices. ME INCLUDED!!!! :)
But that is another post. :)

So, I guess, my question would be:
If the offender in the first post, has apologized, repented, and changed her ways, and has had a great day since...... is there really anything else that should be done?
I can't see it.
I think it is the same with our Lord. If we come to him and ask for forgiveness, turn from what we are doing and get in right relationship, he doesn't turn around and say, I'll forgive you later, or choose not to forgive. He is faithful and just to forgive us every time. And there are things I have to repent of, every day!

Parenting, even after all these years is a scary endeavor, wanting to make sure we do what is right for each child, making sure we are spoiling, being too harsh, or leaving them to themselves too much, or being too rigid.
And it is a new deal with each and every kid. Not one child is the same.
They are ALL DEMO-MODELS, missing instructions! :) So are husbands and wives, but at least you only have one model. :)

5 comments:

:)De said...

for me once there is an apology and change of attitude it should be over.

I have to be careful to use consequences to facilitate the change in attitude that is desired. Sometimes I will get a quick apology that comes as a result of the consequence and not the offence. At that point I remind my little nugget that I forgive, but there may still be some work to do to make things right.

It's hard because I sometimes feel like consequences take up relationship time especially if there is an absence of a spirit of obedience from my child. I often start praying out loud asking God to rain His spirit all over us so we can get back into harmony with each other and Him.

Any suggestions?

:)De said...

PS I love your egg face and will be making some this week!

Mike and Christie said...

De, that isn't my egg face. I just found it on images. :) I thought it was really cute. Our famous breakfast idea is Mickey Mouse pancakes. 3 small pancakes run together to make a face and ears. They love it. :)
I have also seen pancake molds (sorta like cookie cutters with a wooden handle that go on the pan... to make animal shapes. I have never purchased them, but might do it for Christmas this year.

I am on the same page with you as far as consequences. We too pray for our kids outloud....
I think our day went pretty well after our egg incident, and don't see any more reason to bring it up.

Though, tonight, she asked to be rocked and said once again how sorry she was. Some of our kids can be excessively guilty. I had to reassure her once again that she was all forgiven and I didn't even think about it today. We had a great day and I was proud of her. I prayed for her before she went to bed and thanked the Lord for giving me such and awesome daughter whom I know is sensitive to the Lord. She went to bed happily. :)

I think giving her a consequence would only have prolonged her guilt and reinforced that she isn't worthy to be forgiven, but must be punished instead. I think this can be dangerous for this type of child.
Consequences just add to the shame she already feels.

We have had her home for almost 7 years and she has come so far. I am so proud that she bounced right back and just went on with a normal day.

What ideas do you have ??

Happymom4 aka Hope Anne said...

If this was an abnormal thing, I'd let it go with what you have done. If it continues to happen again and again another two or three times . . . then I would be thinking hard about a consequence/teaching experience. (Maybe she needs to be the one to fry eggs for everyone for a couple of breakfasts so that she learns to appreciate the work Mom is doing, for instance.) we make plenty of mistakes ourselves. I'm glad God doesn't lower the boom on me every time I do so. sometimes he DOES consequence me, but not always--at least, not always that I can figure out. I think He's pretty merciful if I repent and say I'm sorry . . .

Chiara Elena said...

I'm glad really, for you all having a nice day, a big hug to all the minich girls

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