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Thursday, March 7, 2013

TRANSFORMING

                        
The last couple of days I have been contemplating life....not an unusual thing to do for me. :)
I was feeling a little tired, and starting to feel like I was in a bit of a "rut". 
I hadn't written in the girls' mom dad and me books for a while, and I didn't like that.  Some of my parenting was beginning to look a little on the LAZY side! 

Today, I decided as I was preparing for support group to just spend lunch time alone and read and pray.  I CANNOT TELL YOU ENOUGH how REFRESHING that was!  Oh Wow!

And JUST WHAT I NEEDED was an encouraging word, which came from "The Connected Child".
We are going to be doing Chapter 9 tonight, and I am excited about it.  Chapter nine is about being PROACTIVE to make life easier with children who are struggling. 
I already had prepared for that so I moved ahead to Chapter 10.  It is on supporting healthy brain Chemistry, and then Chapter 11 is about Handling Setbacks.
BOTH of these chapters really ministered to my heart today. 

I was so encouraged that we are on the right path regarding nutrition, fish oil and nuts.  Healing CAN happen in a brain that is damaged by trauma.  I have known this, but it is the first time I read CLEAR, DISTINCT evidence from their own studies!

In Chapter 11, she is so encouraging.  She talks about setbacks children have and how we STAY THE COURSE!  (my wording)  She said to go back and look at where your child was when you started and then look at them now.  Are they calming easier? For increased lengths of time? Can you play a game with them?  Are they making warm eye contact?  Are they cooperating more? 

I began to think about EACH of our girls, where they came from and all that we have been through as a family.  Reading a blog post out loud to Mike this a.m. also brought to mind just how much progress we have made?
The questions asked in this blog post were heart wrenching to read, and we answered YES to MANY of them; no to a few.  It is a WORTH WHILE READ!<<---- link  Every adoptive family or potential adoptive family should read this. 

Putting it all in perspective today brought tears to my eyes as I contemplated my own life. :)
I am so happy.  My life is not normal. But I am so happy!  My girls are THRIVING and the LORD has been SO VERY GOOD TO US. 
We do have setbacks now and then.... me too.  But that is human nature.

Today,  I called the girls to me and  asked them a few questions:
(These are out of "The Connected Child" book.....)
1. When I was angry I used to........
     Now when I am angry I.......

2.  When I was sad I used to.......
      Now when I am sad I..........

3.  When I was afraid I used to.......
     Now when I am afraid I........

As we each answered those questions, ME included, I could see how the Lord was working in each of my girls' lives and in mine too. :)

We talked a little bit about grief and how sometimes it comes in cycles. We shouldn't be shocked or scared if we start feeling insecure or have memories come back, or waves of past pain. 
This is NORMAL, because we have not lived NORMAL....
I was more and MORE convinced today, of the ORCHESTRATION of our lives together by the Lord's hand.  We are in that TAPESTRY!  And the picture is BEAUTIFUL!

I decided to stop at the store on the way home and get some specific stickers that each girl would really like.  I also found 4 small, very cool, journals that will be different from the Mom Dad and Me books.  These are for me to write a specific verse or word of encouragement, and also to write down an awesome behavior I noticed, and then place a sticker on the page.  It is NOT a reward book.... just a book of acknowledgment for them to keep.  I pray that they memorize the scriptures and that the words I write encourage them to press on to new heights of love and wholeness!


It has been a good day. I can't wait to share tonight at support group what I learned today. :)
I'm loving the path we are on.  God is in the business of transforming lives.... and for those of us on this journey; we are transformed too. :)

8 comments:

Brooke said...

Your post echoes what I have been thinking lately. I love your new "encouragement" journals. What a beautiful way to honor the virtues you are seeing in your young ladies.
Here is a teaching that I have listened to 3 times in the past week. It will bless you.

http://circeinstitute.org/2012/07/assessment-that-works-an-andrew-kern/

JJ said...

What a great post on how to get a better perspective! This post encouraged me more than you might imagine. THANKS!

Did the journals come from Tuesday Morning, BTW??? :) I like them!

Christie Minich said...

Thanks Brooke! :)
JJ no, they came from Hobby Lobby.
But I bet you could find some at Tuesday Morning or Half Price books.

Emily Minich said...

That's a great journal idea.

Aus said...

The journal idea is a great one - and I like Brooke's "title" of "Encouragment Journal" - very nice!

Glad you had a good and refreshing day - they're important to keep us 'recharged'. I used to say "refilled" - but lately I've been trying to live my life being a "hose" - not a bottle - keeps me from getting "empty" that way.

At our place last night the youngest retreated to his "place" - that place where no one can reach him - where he knows only anger and rage and pain and grief - and he stayed there a long time. We just laid on the bed and while he wouldn't be "held" - he did "give in" a little and kept his foot touching my leg...

In the fullness of time fatigue gave way to exhaustion - and with that some calming...

but before he fell completely asleep he moved closer and put his head into that niche on my shoulder, then relaxed and fell asleep - acutally both of us did...

And that's "perfect joy"...

It works - it really does...

hugs - aus and co.

Christie Minich said...

Aus and Co... I am so proud of you!
There were many times when what you described was exactly how things were with a couple of our daughters.
That little foot, or even a little finger that would unclinch from a fist and soften would signal we were reaching the heart. No eye contact, too fragile.... and then and exhausted snuggle and peace.
GREAT JOB!

Sallie Kaye said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Christie Minich said...

Sallie Kaye,
Thank you for your comment.
Please email me....
c.minich.bclc@verizon.net

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