His Mercy

"His Mercies Are New Every Morning"

A Thought

In this life we can not always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.." :) Mother Teresa

Prayer Quote

“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis

Faith

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)

Weather Underground

Click for Wylie, Texas Forecast

NEW WEB SITE

Check Out Our Other Web Site!
Posts are being added Daily......

www.parentingthatheals.org

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Almost 18 months home!

Alli and Daddy went out tonight for a special time.  She wanted to go to the art store and then they went to get dinner. 

Today was a perplexing day with everything going well, a mini meltdown and then everything going well again! :)
I feel better now. :)  J/K 

When I talked to our social worker about 4 few months ago she said that Alli has so many past anniversaries for Trauma related incidents, she is just one big anniversary!  There are a few things that stand out however and rewriting over those events with other major events has helped her.

Today was a bit of an off day for her.  Could it be hormones?  Could it be past trauma?  Honestly, it could be anything so we covered it all. :)  Feeling angst inside can happen to all of us; how we handle it, is what is very important!
When I look back on the last nearly 18 months, the event of today was rather trivial in comparison.... But that does not mean we settle for  second best; We strive for the BEST with the help of the Lord. 

We are on a new playing field of security and love.  We are not having to really work with her in this area anymore. She has gone with lightening speed into our arms of love and she LIKES it. She likes the security she feels and she knows she is here to stay.
We are turning our focus to issues of  neglect in her upbringing.  She was dependent upon HERSELF and not parents for her safety.  Habits form with this kind of lifestyle and she is learning that she is still very much a little girl.  She LIKES being young, and then at the same time, doesn't.  12 is a confusing age even for the most secure of children.  I can't imagine what it is like for a child of trauma. 
She actually figured out that it will be 4 years before she was 16 and she was celebrating how long that is, because Erika is only  2 years from 16. gulp!

I am comforted in how well Miss Alli is doing, and that we DO have a lot of years ahead of us before she goes into adulthood.

In the mean time.... There will lots of times for building memories and strong relationships  like tonight.  It just so happened that this Thursday was her turn for a Daddy Daughter Date. :)
 It couldn't have come at a better time. :)
 Daddy said they spent a long10 minutes in the jewelry section. :) After Michael's, they went to a restaurant called "Love and War in Texas".
 Honey Corn bread..... shaped like Texas.
 This was a plate for ONE!  They shared it.
And there was a BAND!  She said it was the best band she had ever heard.  :)

9 comments:

Aus said...

Great stuff in the last couple posts! My bride Marie turned me onto you guys - I don't recall where she picked you up - but there's some serious good stuff here! By way of intro - we're 3X adopted parents - once from Korea and 2X from china - we've got three grown bios at 28, 27 and 24 - so we get a lot of where you are as well!

and yeah - love your header information - you are an uncommon family!

looking foward to walking with you for a while if y'all don't mind!

aus and co.

Mike and Christie said...

Well thank you! Welcome to our family Mr. Aus. :)

Our oldest son is soon to be 34!!
As of today, they are 33, 31,30 and 29. :)
Life is certainly an adventure! :)

Dagbjört said...

Wow I can actually say that I went to Michaels last week! :) Well, in Florida, but still... I'm not used to "know" the places you talk about ;) I can imagine that Alli the artist found something there, SO many nice things :)

JJ said...

Just had a conversation about attempting to document all of the anniversaries of our son with the help of the family who adopted his sister. We can document 9 traumatic losses/separations/changes based on what we know. : /

Mike and Christie said...

Yes, she has at least that many. A new one she talked about today was having to leave a best friend from her first adoptive family. It was a little girl she knew from school.

I explained to her that it is not uncommon in America for people to make friends and then one moves away. This is not how it is in Russia. It is more common to grow up and live with the same people your whole life.

The pain of that loss is stinging. I remember when I was a young girl Alli's age. We had moved so much it was REALLY hard. I made a really great friend. We truly loved each other and then.... we were moving again. This was before the time of cell phones, face book and computers. Moving meant the friendship was over. I was devastated.
To have relationships broken over and over cannot be a good thing. :/

Mike and Christie said...

Anna and Alli are going through pictures for scrap booking. Alli is separating pictures from THREE different families. I think I have a stomach ache. I hope she is ready for this. It has certainly been on her mind. August is a HUGE month for her.

Mike and Christie said...

Dagbjort!!! Welcome to America!!! :)

JJ said...

How have things been since scrapbook???

Mike and Christie said...

New post to answer that one JJ....
I have a video but don't know a way for you to view it.

You Are Still Holy

LinkWithin