Finally!

I finished getting my room cleaned and some pictures on the walls!

 When the right time comes, I'll paint and we'll put in wood floors.

Until then, it is the old carpet that was here when we moved in.

The Lord is so good to us.

                               This is our favorite office. :)  I love having a two seater tub. 

5 Things About My Day

Christine, asked me to say 5 things about my day.....

1. I trimmed my own bangs and I like them.  Saved $$....
2. I am taking a break from cleaning out my closet...I found a shirt mixed in the sheets that
    I had been looking for all summer.  Soon, it will be too cold to wear it.
3. I want a taco, but I don't want to cook.
4. I woke up this a.m. to a talk about politics, before coffee. Not such a good idea.
5. Many times I feel like a complete failure... and then I read in scripture.... that my value
    is in Christ.

And I'll add 6 more things, not necessarily about my day.

1. I scored 3 consistent times on the myer's briggs being an introvert.
2. I love spending time one on one with the girls.
3. I love to read when it is quiet and the house is clean.
4. Every time Erika falls, my stomach grips me, and I have to breathe
     and not respond like she almost killed herself for the umpteenth time.
     Instead, I just smile,  pick her up and dust her off, give her a hug and send her on her
     way......(not before reminding her of one more gray hair) and inside I am dying.
5. I love talking with my husband about anything and everything while playing backgammon
    and drinking our morning coffee. :)
6. I still struggle over the head covering issue. I forget to wear it.  If I should cover my head during    prayer and I am supposed to be praying without ceasing, then maybe the Amish are correct and I should cover my head all the time..... but then, I don't want to be legalistic about it either.
UGH.....

Just Sayin'!

I have to say this.  We applied to adopt our Anna, 7 years ago, and found out, that we would be her parents not long after our application was confirmed.  We had applied in August, and our first visit with her alone was in September.

Anna has many "anniversaries" in her inner clock, that seem to have come to haunt her every year.
August has always been a traumatic month.... she was moved in August more than once. Her most traumatic one, was when she was removed from her mother.  She remembered the police taking her away and for many years she was afraid of the police.
August would always bring up conversations about police, her birth mother, her memories, and it always seemed to be combined with inner turmoil.

Her other anniversary was Christmas.  She was removed 2 times during holidays. One of those times was to come to our house. It was December and she was so scared that Santa Clause wouldn't know where her new home was.  I remember her worrying so much, and no matter how much we encouraged her that He knew, she had a hard time sleeping on Christmas Eve that year.

All of these years, we have learned to read the bumps in the road with her, according to her internal memory/anniversary.  It seems that keeping that in mind, secures one's compassion to get through behaviors that otherwise seem more like plain rebellion.  But when looked at through the lens of the child with a trauma background; while it may be a rebellious act or snotty attitude, there is something much deeper behind it.

That does not mean, that during that time, we wouldn't use correction and instruction and lots of deep breathing to get her through, and us through.  But it does mean, that our focus and direction were that of restoration and healing, not punishment and relationship abandonment.

We have made some amazing strides this year with all of our girls.  They are becoming young ladies and the hormones are flowing, and the "dread" that I have heard so many moms speak of, is .........
just NOT there.  DID I say that?  I am NOT dreading the teens?  YES I did!

I didn't dread the teen years with my boys, and we do not have any plans to dread them with our girls.
I love teenagers, and I LOVE tweenagers. They are just so cute. They are discovering all sorts of things about themselves and about life.

SO, back to Anna, and really all 3 girlies.
I am AMAZED at them. Not only did we not have an anniversary/internal clock issue with Sarah or Erika in April or May.... we did not have one with Anna in August or September......
In fact, the months passed and I was waiting.... and breathing..... and I just got to see them blossom.
Wow!  I shed tears of joy to see them loving each other, loving us and loving God.

I have seen them pull together as sisters and really enjoy each other's company so much.
It is a relationship that I would have treasured among my sisters.   Our boys have a similar bond, and are very close. I am so happy to see that bond being forged with the sisters too.

For those of you who are skeptical about using methods like BCLC (Beyond Consequences Logic and Control) consider that Relationship is placed in utmost importance.  Relationship FIRST.
What I have seen is that in teaching our girls about themselves, they are so much more open to have "Relationship first" with their siblings.  I see them working things out in the most understanding of ways.
It is precious.

We have also expanded our use of BCLC to our Elderly neighbor.  She can be very difficult. She often comes over and yells at us and curses at us.  It is very sad to see her deteriorate to the degree she has.
At first we weren't understanding what was happening and I, YES I, even escalated things by challenging her on what she was saying in front of the girls.
But in my prayer, it dawned on me, (the Lord SHOWED me) that I was not loving my neighbor! I wept tears of sadness , realizing that I had not been a good example to anybody in my mama bear protection of my girls.
So I told the girls that I was sorry and we need to pray for our neighbor. And then, we made a plan to be kind to her no matter what.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to use BCLC on her! I was actually a little excited to try it out! :)
Weird I know.....
She came over cursing at us and yelling at us.... she thought her husband had loaned us tools and she wanted them back. We have never met her husband, as he passed away 2 years before we moved here.
So, instead of saying "We don't have your tools!"  I said, "Those tools are important, aren't they!"
She said, "YES! They were my husbands!"
I said, "You must really miss him!"  She had a tear and said, "Yes, I do."
So, I asked her, "So when you were younger, what did you do for a living?"  Her face brightened and she began to tell me that she was an accountant.  And I shared that our son was an accountant too!
"He is??"  yes, maam! A CPA!
I asked her about her grand sons, and she beamed with pride. And then I gave her a big hug, walking her back to the gate.  She said, "Well, ya'll have a nice day!"  I said, You too!  And she was gone.
Tomorrow, she may be back for something else.  It has been happening often, and I am sad that she most likely has althimers or severe senile dementia. 
BUT..... BCLC works! Yea!
It was a LOT easier to redirect her, than to be confrontational with the truth. "Hello, we don't have your husbands tools!" (the truth is important, but in her case it won't do any good)
Why is it that it is so much easier for us to fall into the negative than be in control with our emotions
even when we KNOW the fallout won't be good??!!!

I just want to encourage those in bloggy land, who are looking for information on BCLC techniques and trying to figure it out, to know that you cannot love too much. You cannot be too patient. You cannot be too kind. And none of those things make you a door mat.  BCLC is not doormat parenting. It is very much being in control! But in control of yourself first. If you can't control your own emotions, how will you be able to guide your child's?

I have been writing alot about my rocking chair and I have to say, it is a big part of BCLC parenting,

for us.  It is an amazing tool to use for gaining self control, breathing, praying, talking, communicating, rubbing feet and hands, massaging arms, wiping away tears, listening to hearts beat, listening to worries, fears, dreads, stories, happy excitement, dreams, wishes, and a place to talk about anything! It is a freeing place. Our freeing place. :)

I really think our internal clocks have been reset. :) We've really gotten rid of some heavy baggage!

Just sayin'

Rocking Chairs Rock

I took this picture from our living room and figured out how to add a caption.... So I just created a Rocking Chairs Rock Badge!  If you are a Rockin' Mama or Papa,  feel free to slide it onto your desk top and display it  on your blog. :),

THE ALL IMPORTANT ROCKING CHAIR

Did I ever mention that I think rocking chairs are important?

Well, if I didn't....

ROCKING CHAIRS ROCK! :)

I was reading a little earlier today, that a doctor thought a little boy was too old to be rocked. He was 6.
This got me thinking about our perceptions in our society about closeness with our children, showing affection, and why society thinks our kids have to grow up so quickly!  WHY?
What is our hurry?
I was reminded of the book, "I'll love you forever".  Where the mama rocks her precious son, and as he gets older, she sneaks in and rocks him.... and at the end of the book, there is a picture of him, rocking his very aged mother.  It is a precious little story about forever love.

Rocking chairs are such an important part of our lives. I had a rocking chair when the boys were little. I LOVED it.  I remember wanting one so badly when our first son was. born I rocked him, but it was me making all the motions. Rather exhausting. :)
I finally got my rocking chair and I used it.... BOY did I use it.  The boys loved being rocked.
Then, it finally wore out and I went without one for a long time.

Before we got the girls, we finally purchased another rocking chair. This one was perfect. It was soft, reclined and rocked at the same time, and even reclined to a fixed position.   I was used to rocking myself.  Then, Anna came.  She needed to be rocked. The very first time I met her, even before we decided to adopt her, I rocked her in that chair and sang to her.  She was visiting and couldn't get to sleep.
I still can't believe she let me rock her and sing to her, but she did.  She was 4 years old.
When we adopted her, we rocked her in that chair every single night for 2 years.  We rocked her in the day time, we rocked her when she was happy and we rocked her when she was sad, we rocked her when we needed to correct her and we rocked her when we praised her.  We ROCK!

The chair has also been thoroughly used with Sarah AND Erika.  Anytime there needs to be serious discussion, we say, "Head to the rocker!"  I couldn't imagine being without it.

I have even rocked my grand kids in it, including my grand daughter Katie who is 14! (she was 13 the last time we sat together in that rocker)
We even had a double rocker for a while.... but it wasn't the "rocker rocker". :)
The one we have serious conversation in.

I still rock my girls.... not like we used to, but we still enjoy a good snuggle in the morning or evening.
My Anna, still loves to be rocked and connected.  She NEVER wants to get rid of the rocking chair.

If you don't have a rocking chair, you are really missing out on something special. :)
Something about the chair, just seems to make life more pleasant, conversation easier, and snuggle time a lasting, fond, memory.

Somehow, getting into that rocking chair causes the girls to just open up in a way that amazes me.
It is just accepted, that while in the chair, you can say whatever is on your mind freely, you can listen better, and you can pray with mom without distraction.  A LOT of healing has gone on in that chair.

Do you have memories of a favorite rocking chair?

Emotions, Hormones and Girls

A good friend, a father of girls, was listening to one of my stories about girls and new found emotions and hormones starting to race through their precious little bodies. I was telling him about explaining to sweet Sarah that sometimes we just feel angst for no real reason, but we need to make sure that we don't react to it, and thoroughly feel it, wear it, try it out and exhaust it......

Sarah is very even keeled and is really more like one of the guys, if you will, but once in a while, she'll have this "girl time" that totally catches her off guard.

As I was sharing with my wise friend. He said his daughter had sent him a wonderful post that she wanted him to read. He said, "I wish I would have read it when my girls were little."

I thought it was very worth while for reading for all girls, big, small, happy, sad, spirited, calm..... after all, we are FEMALE. :)

If you have a few minutes, take some time to read.... you won't be sorry. :)
It is called "Spirited Rider".

School Work Wearing You Out?

Anna was working on her Language Arts and then I turned around and saw this! LOL
Poor baby.

Fantastic Zoo Trip

Erika put this slide show together of our family Zoo fieldtrip! All the animals were awake and busy today. I have never been so close to a Lion! Wow. The Dallas Zoo just opened a new Africa exhibit. It is so neat. The animals have plenty of roaming room and it is so wonderful to see them looking happy and healthy. We also saw the Anaconda AWAKE and moving! This thing could swallow Sarah whole! I have never seen it move in all the years we have visited the zoo. But today! It was awake and moving!

I think Erika did a great job!


the only thing that could have made this trip better, was if Daddy could have joined us. :)
And Katie and Lilly too. :(

Adoption and "The New Colossus"

We are studying poetry and Mike came across this old poem. I had not heard it for awhile. It describes the Statue of Liberty and what she represents. This poem is written on a plaque under the statue. :)

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
Emma Lazarus, 1883

I never thought of this poem in light of Adoption.... until, well, now. :)
"Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore."
These are the Orphans of many lands. Our precious gifts were viewed as the throwaways of society, the locked up, dying to get out and breathe the fresh air of freedom.
They are the homeless, the tempest-tossed, the lost children.....






Many of them have crossed oceans, suffered hardship and lived in conditions you or I cringe at. THEY are NO LONGER LOST!
They ARE AMERICANS! Our Americans! FREE AND BRAVE!
And Here are OUR 3 little Americans:




Would you consider opening your heart and home to one of these?
James 1:27

Language Arts Woes

I'm trying to find humor in this today. I am grading papers for language arts. Now I realize that the curriculum we are using isn't easy, but.... if nobody asks questions when I ask if they have any, I'm going to assume they are understanding. So, since I was sick yesterday, I didn't grade anything. When I looked at what was turned in today, I must say, my temperature went up abit! ugh!!!!

1. Erika was supposed to circle all words in a paragraph that required capitalization.
The paragraph had no capitalization or punctuation. After circling each word, she was supposed to write it down, and then say WHY you capitalize it.
Her answer:
You always capitalize the first word of each sentence. The others you capitalize because you are just supposta! SUPPOSTA???? LOL She had the correct words circled, but her definition was defective!

2.Anna: Directions said to read "My Evening Prayer", (copied in her book), and then to write a 3rd stanza for the poem with the same rhyme scheme and rhythm.
"Mom, I need to use the computer." Why? I need to find the 3rd stanza for this poem.... Ummm Anna, you are supposed to write it yourself...."How can I do that? I don't know what it is! LOL

3. Sarah: She is learning about rhyme schemes and rhythm. Is the poem, iambic, anapestic, trochaic, dactylic... they explain it pretty clearly using DUMM-de--de
etc.
Her first poem was "Dum-de-Dum-Dum.... LOL
NOT!

Needless to say, we will be repeating these lessons for next week until we get them correct. :)

Preparing for Winter

My friend Michelle and her husband are adopting once again in Ukraine. She graciously let me use this photo for my blog. :) Thanks Michelle. Ok, I had to use the other one too to see the whole scope of this pantry. :)

I was so fascinated with this well stocked pantry! WOW~! I have canned foods before, but never on this scale! I wonder how long this much food would last? If we grew our food and canned it all, I wonder if we would come up with this much food? Would we be tempted to go to the grocery store anyway? :)

I would love to have a full scale raised bed garden and then in turn start to can my own foods. It is a big idea, I know. This year, we got our famous tomato and that was it.
With all the chemicals and junk in foods these days, and the prices of organic foods not being cheap, I just wonder if we did this on a large scale, and took it seriously, how much food we could really grow?

Any ideas?

The Passage From Childhood to Youth

Here are some of the first arrivals. :)

The girlies are all in the 6th grade. When you are in 6th grade, you are ready to go to the SDG (Sola Deo Gloria) Bible Study every other Wednesday night. This group is for 6th -12th grade.
I can honestly say, I never in a million years thought I would ever put any of my children back into a youth group.
We had some rather bad experiences with youth groups, and I certainly didn't want a repeat of those years.

But here we are at a new church, with a very different focus. They are serious about studying the word of God, and this group is run at homes of the parents. So parent involvement is big. I like the focus being on scripture and life change.

The girls were so excited. They were all ready with bibles, notebooks and pencils.

My last words to them were to be gracious with their speech, to not speak foolish words, to not say anything that you would not say in front of your parents or God himself, and to have an enjoyable time.
I told them to be like the 5 virgins in the story of the 10 virgins, who are prepared with their lamps full of oil, not like the foolish ones who didn't prepare.
And then, I took their picture and drove away thinking.... wow.... they are growing up to be such beautiful, sweet, young ladies. I can't wait to pick them up and hear what they learned tonight. :)

Acting Out....

Hmmm. I wonder if the Beverly Hillbillies is the best influence..... :)

So What Do YOU Consider Disabled?

Aaron just landed his first double. You can see it on his website:

Sometimes You Need the Widsom of Solomon

Ever have one of those mornings? :)

We started out just fine, except the girlies left their room in a mess before bedtime last night. I told them that I wanted them to clean it up before we started school today.
So they were prepared when they got up that cleaning was on the first of things to do after breakfast.

So, this a.m. they were all cleaning and then I heard "No, that ISN'T yours! IT IS MINE!"
For a minute I had to check and see if I had 2 two year olds instead of an 11 and 12 year old.

All of the girls had identical book bags last year. Erika's is clearly marked "do not touch" on the outside. Sarah left candy in hers and it got all nasty so we sent it to book bag heaven and she did without.

Anna's bag lay dormant, because she has another bag she prefers. So this a.m.
Anna said to Sarah, "You can have this bag, I don't use it."
Erika got upset and said, "You gave that bag to me! I used it once last year!"

Anna has no recollection of giving it, but letting her use it.
Sarah says, "You already have one just like it! Why do you need 2?"

Erika begins loud sobs.

ugh

So I start to think: We are reading "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" and I wondered if there was any wisdom in there for me. :)
When Susan and Peter doubt Lucy's story, the professor asks them.... "is she prone to lying?" Lucy claims, "I ALWAYS tell the truth!" Which was true.

So I looked at my girlies faces and said, "There is no way, for me to solve this. You have all told untruths in the past so there is no way for me to know if you are telling the truth, trying to get something that isn't yours or if you have just mis- understood. Therefore, I will make no decision. You will have to work it out.
(I actually thought about dividing the book bag in 1/2, but I don't think that would have gone over so well. LOL)

So the sobbing child, the mad child, and the child who was rather bewildered that her kind gesture had turned into conflict went into the bedroom. Alone! And me, I stayed out of it. I actually made myself a nice omelette.:)

No more than 5 minutes later, I hear giggling coming from the bedroom. Then I hear down right cheerful voices.... and now, it is all settled. Erika has her book bag that says "do not touch", Sarah has Anna's old book bag and Anna has kept her alternate book bag that she has been using all along. Everybody is happy, and we have moved on.

Let the week begin!

Saturday Fun

It is never a dull moment around here. Having an autoshoppe is always fun on Saturdays. Customer's kids come and wind up playing games like Hide and Seek and Freeze Tag. Today, our little customer Conner came to play. :)

They all had a great time.
So how many pictures does it take to get 4 excited game players to all look at the camera at the same time??

Well this time, SIX! :)
Thank goodness for digital cameras.

Beautiful Post from a Beautiful Family

This post was written so well,from the heart. And she is 100% correct!

http://baseballsbutterfliesblessings.blogspot.com/2010/09/you.html

Family Life.....

We never had to deal with naked dolls when we had boys. We didn't do barbie dolls all these years, and figured we would get past them, but we didn't. We used the "Happy Family" dolls but they really are too childish now, yet the girls are still doll players.
They presented the question so nicely.... "Mommy and Daddy, If we make DECENT outfits for our dolls, can we have barbies?" We made concession. They have held up their end of the bargain, and made all sorts of wonderful clothes to keep the girls covered. And then.... I walk into the bathroom to see this! ACK!!!!! "Mommy, of course they can't take baths with their clothes on! We are drying them off! :)

Sarah decided to be a "stray animal caretaker" before school today. I thought about spraying endust on the bottoms of each animal, and my job would have been done! :)

Sarah's bestest friend Sarah called today. Those two are real chatter boxes. They made up this new way to hang up, because neither can say good bye. So, when they have to go, they count 1, 2, 3 and then, click. :)

The Minich Brothers

After our mom's memorial service 2 weeks ago, we all gathered around the hotel pool to spend time together. Unfortunately this picture does not include our Jim, as he is gone.
But it represents brothers who love each other but live in 3 different states! We all agree that we need to stay together and make a point to stay in contact.
I just thought this was a great picture of the guys. :)

9-11

You know, it is funny, I sometimes have to remember the year, but NEVER do I have to remember the date. The actual DATE of 9-11.

I know exactly where I was. Mike and I had opened up our Auto Shoppe for business. The first thing I did every morning was go online and read some CNN. All of the boys were at college and the girlies were not in our home at this time. We were official EMPTY NESTERS!
I had finished my career as a Home schooling mother, and had moved on to Secretary of Texas Auto Service Center! What a hard transition. That same year, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and was eating rabbit food for life. :) Literally.

So, off to work I went with My Mike, every morning.

That morning was like any other. And then, I checked CNN. A plane had crashed into the World Trade Tower. It was thought to be a small plane. Unidentified at that point

I got a call from my oldest son..... "Did you hear some idiot crashed into the World Trade Center?" He thought it was a small plane like a Piper.... and then we talked for a moment and that was it.

Not long after that..... we were listening to the radio in the Shoppe.... and the words "Terrorist Attack" were heard. "What is that?" I thought to myself..... so naive.
As we listened in DISBELIEF.... another plane hit the other trade tower, and then there was one that hit the PENTAGON!!! This one, sent shivers of fear into me.
And then, all planes were grounded..... and they kept talking about the ones unaccounted for, or headed for the White House....

And I felt sick.

I got a call from Son #2 asking if we had heard. And then son #3, and then son #4.
I noted that it was very interesting that they had all called in "birth order." :)

We worked our regular day and headed home, knowing that George Bush Jr. was going to address the Nation at 7:00. We didn't have T.V. hooked up, so Mike was on the roof trying to get the Antennae hooked up and by the time he did....The speech was over. LOL
George Bush Jr. was certainly not as long winded as Bill Clinton!

At that time, Mike and I were waking at 5:00 a.m. and walking 4 miles a day! It was part of my treatment plan. :) The first thing we noticed was how quiet it was in the sky. There were only stars. No planes. NO Plane for several days!!!

I was glued to the news reports about how things were progressing.... was anybody saved??? Not really. Only 2 people who were buried from debreit who were first responders. How AWFUL! HOW SAD!

My oldest son called back after 2 days of worry, on my part. He was terribly upset by the entire event and spent his time talking to some veterans of previous wars about things. He also had 9-11 tatooed on his neck as a memorial.....
I was surprised, but thought it was rather touching.

And then, the video of Osama Bin Laden was played of him Cheering the downing of the towers was airing. Who in the world was THAT GUY???? I had never heard of him, and had not payed too much attention to Islam in general.

There was a huge mosque not far from our home, and our church ladies offered to help escort Muslim women to the store and back if they were afraid. We were told no.

We had meetings later with the ladies there, but nothing really came of it.

It is interesting how that day is so vivid in my mind. How 9-11 will forever be a memory of tragedy and destruction.
Our girlies are too young to remember, even tough I teach it to them, it is like teach ing me about WW2, our our boys about Vietnam......

As I was looking at the news tonight... I was once again disturbed..... The Mosque fellow that wants to build a Mosque near ground Zero says, if it doesn't happen, National Security will be at risk???? And then there is the nut job wanting to burn Korans..... and is causing risk to the troops???? What kind of world do we live in now? Certainly not the one I lived in as a child. I didn't know what a Muslim was.
I didn't know about people who would threaten others because they didn't agree with the placement of a mosque, and I didnt' know of those who would burn books......
WOW. Alot of changes have taken place in the last several years.

We will always remember 9-11 as a terrible day, where EVIL people took over planes and murdered our citizens. I hope that they do not prevail and continue to propagate their ideology here.

I am all for feedom of Religion... but........ not all religion is good.

Oral Reading

One of the things we love to do at our house is to read a story together out loud. It is a great habit to get into, because we can learn to read with expression out loud, and mom can tell if we are going through "stop signs" (not stopping at a period) speeding through caution signs (commas) and being bland when there is something to get excited about! (exclamation point) Also, do we read a question like a sentence?
This oral practice is very good for ALL of us!
AND.... it is FUN.

Last year we read Noel Streatfield's books, "Ballet Shoes, Theater Shoes, Dancing Shoes and Party Shoes." We also read C.S. Lewis's "The Magician's Nephew".

This year, we are starting with C.S. Lewis's "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe."
We plan to finish the Chronicles of Narnia Series this year.

We read 20 minutes every day before lunch, and sometimes we even illustrate what we have read in the afternoons.

What books are you reading this year?

YUM!

I just found a new GLUTEN FREE product! Can't believe it! There it is in beautiful letters right on the front of the label. "GLUTEN FREE".... Oh joy!



Tortilla chips here I come! :)

Just Another Ordinary Miracle of a Day

You know, every day is a miraculous day. Even ordinary days. Because life just isn't that ordinary. :) You know, I can't imagine what our lives would be like without our sweet girls, nor can I imagine what their lives might be like. It would be too painful to even think about our sweet Erika in a mental institution, wasting away, in constant pain, and lonely. It would be awful to think of where Sarah might be, and Anna too. The Lord brought them to us for a purpose. He wanted us to love them and to guide them into adulthood. He has a plan for their not so ordinary lives. And he has taken OUR ordinary lives, and made them, well, just plain fun! Thank you Lord!

So, here are some highlights:

Erika was doing school work in the kitchen.

She solved the "paint on her shirt problem", but putting a sticker over it. There, solved!

Anna was busy studying poetry.

Sarah decided to do her work in her room, after setting up a boutique, putting up a "help wanted" sign, and arranging all her lip gloss, all for sale of course. :)





Anna was pretty pleased that she had a great school day. :)

All the miracles of an ordinary day. :)

The "Get Me An Egg" Followup

Following up on our Egg Post
Honestly, this was so out of the blue... we couldn't think of a particular reason for it.
There really WAS no reason for it. She just got up and was on the wrong side of bed. :)

We sat down and had our talk, and she was regretful at what she had done. She apologized and said she didn't really even know why she did it.

So, we moved on.

Since then, we have had a rather uneventful and happy day! They all worked on various things around the house, after all this is, "Labor Day", and attitudes have been MUCH better.

Now, honestly, here I am typing this and feeling a little gripey myself. :) I had to go shopping, and I am just not a shopper. It stresses me out. So it is my turn to have someone be patient with me. :)

The same little girl who was so offensive this a.m., came up to me in the store and said, "Mama, you look like you could use a hug." LOL
She was right.
And an escape to the nearest exit sign. :)

We did find some very good deals for back to school clothing. Today is the day we take all the stuff that is too worn, or too small and toss it into a sack and then, hang up the newer items that are in much better condition and fit. :) I found a nice winter coast for Sarah for 5 dollars! I found a dress for myself for 3.00 and 2 Christmas Dresses for the girls for 1.50 each! One still had the tags on it.

We are working on making sure we are dressed modestly, and not TOO casually. I have been a little concerned about just how casual we can get when left to our own choices. ME INCLUDED!!!! :)
But that is another post. :)

So, I guess, my question would be:
If the offender in the first post, has apologized, repented, and changed her ways, and has had a great day since...... is there really anything else that should be done?
I can't see it.
I think it is the same with our Lord. If we come to him and ask for forgiveness, turn from what we are doing and get in right relationship, he doesn't turn around and say, I'll forgive you later, or choose not to forgive. He is faithful and just to forgive us every time. And there are things I have to repent of, every day!

Parenting, even after all these years is a scary endeavor, wanting to make sure we do what is right for each child, making sure we are spoiling, being too harsh, or leaving them to themselves too much, or being too rigid.
And it is a new deal with each and every kid. Not one child is the same.
They are ALL DEMO-MODELS, missing instructions! :) So are husbands and wives, but at least you only have one model. :)

"Get Me An Egg!"

It didn't work. We do not demand for our breakfast. Saying things in a kind way will always get you an egg, as long as we have one. :)

Soooo, after an explanation of what a kind way to ask for something is, she said, "I don't need an egg."

So, daddy and I continued our morning coffee and conversation. I made him and egg, and me an egg and we had cheerful conversation. I asked our daughter once again, "are you sure you don't want an egg?" "No. Not if I have to say please."

Ok, just letting you know that the kitchen will be closed at 10:00 a.m. after that, you'll need to wait until lunch. Just so you know. :)

9:57---"Mama, would you please make an egg for me?" In the nicest voice. :)

Why sure!

10:00- kitchen closed, everybody fed. :)

Amazing Efforts

Erika spilled her candy today. Since she can't bend, it is very hard to pickup little baked beans that are everywhere. She gave us all a look like, "Help!"
I told Anna, "Hey Anna, I bet Erika will happily give you some of those baked beans if you pick them up for her!" Anna agreed and headed over to help......

And then, Erika said, "HOLD IT!" "I'll do it myself!"
LOL And she did! It is amazing what a kid will do to protect her candy! :)

Mr. Adorable jr.

Our Sweet Grandson Charlie.... his daddy is our youngest son Marcus. Someday, Charlie will know how GREAT of a daddy he has. :) He is awesome, and looks exactly like his daddy. :)

Spicy Goat

Bryan the goat has discovered Jalapeno Cheetos. :)



I need to try and lighten this. We took it at 8:00. OR, maybe he should eat his cheetos during the day like normal goats! :)

For As Long As We All Shall Live!

My heart hurts once again, for children who are suffering. They are not the children in Pakistan this time, but children who have been brought into families with the promise of being cared for, loved, accepted and cherished.

Yet, I have been made aware of SEVERAL children in limbo, facing disruption, or in the middle of active disruption. I think the new term is "re homed " now. That is just too sanitary for me.

The actual REAL word, is Adoption Dissolution. A disruption happens before an adoption is finalized. Animals are re homed. An adoption dissolution is a process in which an adoptive parent, who legally has the exact same place as a biological parent, divorces their child and sends them away to another family.

We have been the happy recipients of one such child, and I am so thankful for her. However, I still can't believe we have her or that anybody in their right mind would have wanted to not have her in their family as their precious daughter. My mama bear feelings come out when I think about it.

But this post is not about that. This post is about people who bring a child over here, waiting sometimes YEARS to adopt, only to disrupt after a very, short time.
The stories are often similar, with a few differences. But in every case so far, it has been a situation where a parent has not bonded to the child, cannot fully accept them as their own, and begins to concentrate on the bad things about the child instead of the good.

One of the things we forget to educate families about, is that LOVE is not necessarily a "gushy feeling at first sight". Love is a VERB. It is action. It gets up and changes diapers in the middle of the night while sleep deprived, and it is patient and kind to a very scared child. A parent may have those gushy feelings, or not... but one thing is sure, "True Love" will not hold back. We also forget to tell parents about the absolute FEAR and TERROR a child feels when they are taken from one environment to another, one culture to another, one family to another or from an institution into a foreign family.
It is hard enough for a child to adjust to a new situation within their own culture. But what about when that child cannot speak your language, eat your foods, AND knows NOTHING familiar and therefore has NO comfort?
Golly, I know adults who can't handle eating foods they aren't used to in other countries. What about children who will never see those things again?

How terrifying to be taken by adults onto an airplane across the ocean, and to hear nothing but foreign words. And don't forget, these people are expecting all sorts of things from you, and they seem to have mastered one word in your language. NO!

Children respond to extreme stress in very different ways, but many of them do the following:
SCREAM, BITE, HIT, KICK, SPIT, FLAIL, and did I say RAGE? Typically this is short lived, or not at all, and the child will begin to get more comfortable and feel safer, but then, something happens. They can no longer THINK in their own language. They can't remember it! AND they can't think in YOUR Language or remember much of it either!

They wind up being a child without a language. This typically happens after about 2 months. Yes that soon! And it can last awhile. A child may learn to speak English, and totally not understand what he is saying. His verbal language will be ahead of his expressive language. During this time, the frustration of not being able to communicate my be heightened and therefore the child may throw tantrums or fits out of sheer frustration.

I remember when Sarah came to us, after being here 10 months, she was speaking English very well. In fact, perfectly. No accent. But.... what had been considered misbehavior and rebellion, was actually a lack of understanding of English. We discovered this on her second day at home.

She was jumping off of the coffee table. I said, "Please don't jump off of the coffee table ok?" She said, "OK"... with a big ole' smile. And then, she jumped off of the coffee table. I was perplexed. So I repeated... and so did she.

I then asked her, "What is a coffee table?" guess what? She didn't know!
"What is jump?" SHE DIDN'T Know!

So, I showed her the coffee table and pointed at it, "this is a coffee table" and then I jumped.... "this is jump. "Don't JUMP off of the Coffee Table!" bingo!
A light went off in her little mind and she had a big smile. "OH! OK!" and she didn't do it again.

We as the adults, as the parents have got to educate ourselves on what to expect when it comes to adoption. It seems that sometimes the adoption process is romanticized and bringing the child home seems to be the climax, very similar to a bride who does everything to plan for the wedding, the dress, the cake, but forgets to plan for the marriage!

Money well spent, will be spent on education BEFORE the child comes home, not on cute outfits for the child to wear. It seems we spend more time fixing up rooms and redecorating instead of educating ourselves.
The cutest clothes and best award winning room will not make a child happy or a relationship good.

Please remember, your child needs things familiar. They need your tender care and understanding. They need familiar smells. They need familiar foods. And yes, they need the light on. Many of them have never been in a dark room. They don't turn the lights all the way out at the orphanage. They need to be prepared ahead of time if you are going to change their schedule. If you are going to go somewhere, they need to know where and why and how long. They have lived in such uncertainty, just going to the store can be traumatic.

Most of all, our kids need us to commit to love them. They need us to be the adult, the PARENT, the safe haven. It isn't about us or our needs, it is ALL about them.
You are the one who went and interrupted their life. If you are going to do that, then by golly commit to make it work! Do NOT withhold your love from your child. (love is a verb) Pour yourself into them, it is the very LEAST of what they deserve. It is what being a real parent is all about.