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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Things We Say

Last night when Sarah was perfectly miserable, a well meaning nurse came into the room and asked her, "Are you your mama's baby?"

Sarah looked up at her and said, "What?"

The nurse asked again, "Are you your mama's baby?"

Sarah answered, "No, I was adopted another mama had me as a baby".
She then said, "I really don't want to talk about that".

I knew what the Nurse meant. She saw that Sarah responded well to comfort from me, and that she sought me out to make sure where I was in the room when she was so upset. She doesn't understand all those things we say in english to communicate something as simple as "It looks like you and Mama love each other."

I was proud of Sarah to shut the conversation down she wasn't comfortable with, but a little sad that she thought the nurse was asking such a personal question.

It is puzzling, because at home she always says she wants to be my baby. And I often call her my sweet baby.

It is just a reminder to me of how our language and words matter so very much.

This same nurse, who was from India and had a difficult accent to understand also told Sarah, "if you do not pee, I will have to catheterize you, so you need to use the bedside commode." Sarah was like, "WHAT?" What is that, I don't know what you want me to do. This is one of the reasons it is so good to be able to stay with our children when they are hospitalized. Sometimes interpretation is needed.
"Sweetie, you need to try to pee." That was good enough. She did try in a diaper, but the nurse wanted more, so they moved our pain riddled little one onto the bedside toilet. She screamed in pain, but she peed. I think she will do much better at home tonight in the comfort of her own bed, with her sisters by her side.

She also had a difficult time telling the nurse that she didn't like graham crackers.
The nurse didn't understand and kept trying to make her eat them, in the form of graham crackers, then teddy grahams, then grham cookies of some bizarre type, to the point, we had projectile vomiting. (that was probably more info than you needed)

I have never been so glad for a shift to change! The day nurse if fantastic and while I am typing this, Sarah is sleeping away comfortably.

I'll cut this short, as I could really use an IV of coffee! :)

7 comments:

JJ said...

Daniel says to Sarah, "I hope your hand and your knee feels better. I hope you can come back to play."

...So do I!

Julie

(I'll cross post this one.)

mommajeane said...

So sorry to hear about the insensitive nurses or lack of communication... there is no place like home. We have been praying for you and hope you can be home soon.

Christine said...

Oh, that must have not felt good for her to be asked that. :( You are such an amazing mother, and she is blessed to be able to help her understand these kinds of things.

Christine said...

BTW, hope she recovers quickly!

JJ said...

I hope that you and your baby girl have a good night's sleep!!!

Melissa E. said...

There is no place like home...
There is no place like home...
There is no place like home...
There is no place like home...

Thank goodness for shift changes! What a good hospital to provide IV coffee supplements! ;-)

What a traumatic experience. In pain and having to eat yucky stuff and pee in front of someone you find irritating!

Michelle said...

poor sweet thing... I spent a lot of time in hospitals the years after my Sarah was born and I can attest that a difficult nurse makes life sooooo miserable...

and really, what child knows what a commode is?

I am certain she knows she IS your baby, whether she WAS "your baby" or not.

sweet Sarah.. feel better soon!

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