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I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Anna, Packing Bags, Memories, Triumph

Anna has been with us for nearly 1/2 of her life. 4 and a half years. She is 9 and a half now. When her birthday comes in November, it will be exactly 1/2 of her life.

It doesn't seem possible,as life has been a flurry of events in the last 4 plus years. :)

Anna reminds me sometimes of a kitten that has been tossed into the water. When you pick them up they are frightened and the claws are extended, like "what just happened to me?"

This is how she is inside when we start to pack our bags for vacation, or for a short trip. As I was packing for us to go to Oklahoma, I could feel that she was uneasy.

If I recognize her uneasiness and stop and rock her, and talk to her, typically, she gets back in normal rhythm. If I don't, her claws might come out and she gets grumpy or whiny or sassy or all of the above.

She still gets afraid. Memories come back and when bags are packed that reminds her of moving from foster home to foster home and she is right back there.

It doesn't help when we are packing to go to Oklahoma, where she spent most of her foster care experience.


We kind of joked in the morning when she was curled up on the couch with "Kitty", her sleeping buddy watching the action of the day take place, that she was curling up and hiding so we couldn't see her. "Common' we gotta get moving so we can leave on time!" She didn't want any part of it. But after recognizing the "look", I had to stop, rock and talk. After our talk, and our rock, she was more relaxed and even participated in the packing.

Once we got on the road and to our destination, she did great. When we got home, she was exhuberant... "We're home! We're Home!" She talked about getting home, and then we were there. She ran next door to get her fish and turtle and check on her animals and was one busy bee; and then she slept. She slept calmly and contentedly in her forever bed, in her forever room, in her forever home, and in the morning, she was relaxed.

2 comments:

Melissa E. said...

As Christians, we often need to be reminded of our "forever home", too. Otherwise, we start dwelling in our 'orphan' past very easily. Even if, as I was, we were very young when we were 'adopted' into God's family.

Ps. I am trying the "If you think you are going to hit, come to Mommy" tactic. At the same time, I don't have time this morning to keep taking care of slip-ups so I have him hooked to my belt for the morning with a kid-leash! He's not that stressed about it except that he's concerned that he won't get to swim later. ( he probably will but I am keeping that a mom-secret) I have also warned all the others to keep a distance from him this morning. He's busy eating his cereal right now at my elbow so that's why I have some computer time!

Mike and Christie said...

melissa, you are such a good mommy.:)
I took a long time one of our dd's (the one written about here) to really trust...

She made huge strides, but looking back, it just keeps getting better and better. I'm so thankful.

When you are in the "thick" of it, sometimes it looks like the progress is so slow it is almost not moving, especially when they move ahead 3 steps and then go back 2....

Process, process, process! Just like our relationship with our Lord. :)

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