Birthday part 2: The LAKE

Erika requested her birthday cake at the lake with a BBQ. So that is what we did.
We picked up the grand girls and headed to the lake. Daddy came when he got off of work and we had a wonderful dinner and cheese cake for desert.

We stayed until sunset. :) It was a beautiful day.

Erika is 12~~~~!!!!!! WOW

TWELVE???? How did it happen so fast???
But here she is, all grown up. :)


We get joy out of making our day long and lasting. :) Erika asked for hard clues this year. So I obliged. :) Here she is looking in various places for yet another clue to where her gift is hidden. :)

We hid a clue in the beans and a clue in the bible....

There was a clue with daddy, and other clues I can't even remember. Goat feed seems to come to mind. :)

The Exciting Elevens!

For one special day each year, everybody is the same age. We have had the Lucky Sevens, The Crazy Eights, The Nifty Nines, The Terrific Tens, and this year, The Exciting 11's.

Sarah's 11th Birthday

We had an event filled day! Sarah turned 11. In order to find presents this year, we didn't just hide them. We hid them good! She had to open a series of envelopes starting with the first one on her desk that she found after cleaning it off. :)
That clue led her to the next and the next..... and finally after 7 or 8 clues, she found her presents in the dryer, tucked between the clothes. :)




We went roller skating with a couple of friends and Katie and Lillian. (it is also Katie's birthday too!)

After that we went home, played games with friends and had a dinner of Green Beans, Corn and freshly pickled cucumbers. (Sarah's choice) I added pizza for those who wanted some.

She picked making a chocolate cake with chocolate dipped strawberries. And then, we watched "The Jetsons".




It was a fun day! Happy Birthday Sweetie!

The Accidental Goat Brush Incident

Sad for Joy

Our friend Phil has been in the Nursing home for around a year and a half now. He met our other friend Joy, while there, and we have all had a great time together. Sometimes we have dinner together, and we bring them both to church with us on Sundays, and then take them out to lunch.

2 days ago, Joy found out that she is going to have to move to South Carolina. She is terribly sad about the move, but has been given no choice. She would love to Marry Phil and he wold LOVE to marry her, but in the end, she has no choice.

I am sad for her. Though she has dementia issues, she is not at a point of not being able to have a thought or feeling of her own. She is feeling rather violated right now, as her rights have been taken from her.

Her family doesn't like that she is in love. The move came suddenly for her, and she doesn't want to go. The nursing home staff would like to see her stay, but there is nothing anybody can do.

What a sweet heart of a lady. Our girls just loved her so much. We made some pre addressed note cards for her with stamps so she can write when she gets settled in South Carolina.

Taking the girls to the nursing home is great. We go about 2 x's a week and they visit the ladies. We will continue to go, and minister to those who have no visitors.

If you think of it, please pray for Joy, that she transitions to her new home well.
She is so sad right now.

A Very Good Question BCLC

The question was: What would we have done if she refused to obey at all, AND, isn't there a time for mom said it, just do it?
(paraphrased) :)


LOL... I was thinking about that last night after I wrote it.
She has not done that. (refused to obey) But what I would have most likely done is gone with her and asked her to help me help Sarah, and led her by example.
Remember , this is not her normal behavior but one that exhibits when she is very stressed. So, I most likely shouldn't have asked her in the first place, or just asked if she wanted to come along, which she probably would have. But that is 20/20 hindsight.

And you are correct, there is a time for Mom said so that is it. It just isn't that time in crisis mode. Remember the idea of staying present in the moment. If I had demanded she go, had she refused, which I could have, (and she then would have) It would have been nothing more than me exercising my over bearing authority just because I could and caused her to feel even more "entitled" to her wounds. I don't want to feed that, but cause her to face the fact that she is not reacting to anything but her own past hurts. THEN, when it is over, we can sit and clearly and precisely go over the issue and help her see she was being totally reactive and over a totally different issue really. Normally she doesn't mind helping.

When she was first home she didn't want to obey, so we showed her how by example over and over and over.We came alongside and guided her through each thing and then praised a job well done. Most of the time we are a well oiled machine around here. LOL Goals met are satisfying for all.
If a home is too authoritarian, not allowing emotion or feelings, the results can be total rebellion. I do not find that to be healthy or biblical. I also can see that blind following based upon fear can cause a lack of ability to make decisions later.

The goal of loving obedience? YES.... Blind obedience based upon fear? No.
Is there ever a place for fear? yes.... but that is another post. :)

We need to get Sarah a big flashlight!

Shoes Compassion and Mr. Will

My little grandson Will, was listening to his mommy talk about children in other countries that do not have shoes. She was explaining a little piece of life to him, and he said, he wanted to send shoes to the boys and girls who don't have any. So his Mommy, Ivy, found a place that will send the shoes to the boys and girls.

If you are interested in helping Mr. Will, help other boys and girls who have sore feet because they have no shoes, please visit Ivy's Blog and she can give you more information.

Will, Ya-Ya is so proud of you. You have a good heart. :) And you have a wonderful mommy and daddy too. :)

Another BCLC Moment Courtesy of Our Kids :)

This was written with permission from our unnamed sweetie. :)


This flower is very significant. It represents forgiveness and unconditional sisterly love. :)
We had a really fun weekend, too fun. It has also been a while since we have had any sort of melt down, or near melt down, so we were due. :)

A few things that took place this weekend were going to the lake, visiting with friends,going to worship, meeting our new Grand Sons, the Foster Care program, going to see the Movie "Marmaduke" which was rather cute, and the changing of the room. (that happened a little earlier in the week)

I had noticed a child who will remain nameless was a little more "clingy" than normal.
Even in the theater, she wanted to snuggle while she enjoyed the movie. She had also made some claims that I knew were most likely untrue, about some successes accomplished at the Lake, but couldn't prove it, so I didn't say anything. (regarding how far she would walk on a beam)

When we got home last night, it was a little late, and there were a few things to do before bedtime. We had to collect the eggs, make sure Wally was fed and put away in his pen, and make sure the chicken doors were shut to keep them safe from predators.

Sarah is afraid to go out in the dark alone; a fear I totally understand. I had that fear for a long time. So, while Erika was busy getting things ready inside, I volunteered our unnamed child for the job.
"Unnamed can go out with you and then you won't be afraid."

That sent her over the edge. "Mom, you didn't even ask me! You just ASSUMED I'd do it! I don't want to do it!"
I was not pleased, as we should all be willing to serve each other with humble hearts, considering each other more important.

BUT, I did not serve. I just said that our unnamed child would! So, I sat by her and said, "You are right. I didn't ask and I'm sorry. Will you help your sister?" She said she would.

So out they went, and then Sarah came in sobbing. Sarah doesn't cry easily so I figured something was dead. No, she was upset because somebody who will not be named called the chickens "dumb and the eggs dumb". "Why do I have to get the dumb eggs and put away the dumb chickens!" This crushed Sarah, because she loves the chickens. It also shocked her, because Anna loves them too.

So we comforted Sarah and sent her off to bed with Erika. And then it was time to deal with our unnamed child. :)

She was sitting on the couch sulking. It reminded me of what she was like all the time a few years ago. In my heart, I was mad, sad and disappointed all at the same time, yet I felt compassion for her. I was trying to think about what could be bothering her.
We had an incident at the lake recently, that I had yet to figure out..... and then,
it came pouring out of her.
"I'm nothing but a problem child!" WHAT? I was a little surprised. Why would you say that? It's true, that is what others think of me.

So, I dug a little deeper, and it appears she had been harboring a comment made to her by somebody who was mad at her. Words hurt. And children who have burdens or wounds that are not fully healed and take hurtful words right back into that wound and cause a major infection! I have no doubt that the person who said this had been offended in some way.....but words to this effect are not helpful. They are hurtful.

She began to sob as I began to talk with her about truth. The truth is "We are ALL problem children!" "We are all sinners and sinners sin." But our heavenly father sees and knows and loves us and wants to help us." We all have the same problem, including the one who said you were a problem child. :) That is the truth!

She began to sob more, but her sobbing and quivering lips were those of letting go of sorrow and past hurt. Another layer taken away.
As we were talking, I could see the memories of foster care,( our new grandsons are in foster care) adoption,( a boy our children had in foster care had been adopted over the weekend and he excitedly called to tell us) The move to a new room (packing boxes and suit cases) and then me not giving her a choice in how I told her to do something....(I was being bossy), the incident at the lake with the person who called her a problem child, and our neighbor who is rather cantankerous at 85, yelled at the girls on Saturday, all came to the perfect storm.

But I see that storm as a good thing. All those wounds she was holding inside came out, and we were able to deal with them. They started out as hurtful words of "I don't need a family".... and ended 15 minutes later with " hold me, I do need a family, will you stay with me tonight?"

I told her the very first thing.... "YOU DESERVE TO HAVE FUN! YOU DESERVE A FAMILY!"
She wept, no I don't, I'm a problem. NO YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE PRECIOUS, YOU ARE LOVELY< YOU ARE SWEET< YOU ARE KIND< YOU ARE! I believe in speaking life into our children. I believe we can speak truth into them. All of this is wrapped into the gospel of Christ. "You were dead in your trespasses and sins, but now you are ALIVE! And when you find you are not being those things, seek the Lord. HE WILL HELP YOU IN TIME OF DESPERATE NEED!"

We prayed together, and we reassured her of our love for her. We reassured her that she is no longer alone, and she is safe. We talked about the path of life and the choices we make. I let her know, we LOVE YOU FOREVER, but you must choose the path of love too. And in order to walk that path, you must also choose the path of forgiveness. Do not harbor anger, bitterness, unforgiveness in your heart. Those things will destroy you. God can use your hurts to make you strong, they don't have to destroy you!

Before she went to bed, she asked, "Mama, do you need me to go and get the eggs?" I told her no, they could wait until morning. She went to bed with a peaceful heart and woke up this a.m. our happy girl.

This morning, I was so thankful that Sarah, brought in a flower for Me and for our unnamed sweetie, after letting her chickens out. She has learned to keep short accounts. :) Keeping Short accounts is VERY important when dealing with troubles or offenses against us. (I need to remember this with our grouchy neighbor) We do not have time to harbor resentments or anger. Forgive, and move on. Each day is a new day. Each moment a new moment. Is that not what our Heavenly Father does for us? He is patient and kind. He instructs and corrects, and leads and guides. We fail, and He picks us right back up and keeps us moving into Life.
Love is patient, love is kind, Love Hopes All things, Endures All things, Love Never Fails.

An Afternoon at the Lake

We live about 5 minutes from the Lake. There is a wonderful beach front and swim area that we love to go to in the summer time. Today, we picked up Katie and Lilly and whisked them off to the lake with us for a fun afternoon in the sun.

Here are a few pictures of our day. :)

"I MUST CLEAN HIS HOUSE!"

"I MUST CLEAN HIS HOUSE!"Is what Sarah said this morning before breakfast. She loves taking care of Wally.

She found some windex and paper towels and out she went. Wally enjoyed staying close by and watching her.
I love it when the girlies have glimpses of being "little women". :)


And here is Sarah with a beautiful smile after a job well done!

Our Special Time

Tonight was Anna's special time to go out with me. We do this once a month with each of our girlies.

She was so excited to go, and as soon as we got into the van, the chatting began! In full, earnest swing, she chatted about everything from her favorite book, to where we were going to have dinner. :)

We picked a place we had never been to before. "Glorias". It is a Salvadorian restaurant and was quite good! We had an appetizer plate and shared it. The Fried Bananas were really delicious!

I was just sitting there admiring my daughter. She has changed so much from the baby 5 year old, full of rage, that we adopted 61/2 years ago. She was full of life and grins and the energy of a pre-teen with all the adorable expressions and phrases and animated hand motions. I fell in love with her all over again.

As we were deep in conversation, she mentioned the neighbor boy that moved away in the middle of the night. He didn't know he was moving, and had expressed how much he didn't like moving so much. His family was troubled. :( She expressed concern for him and at how sad his life was. Then, she stated, that he had thought about what it would be like to have to choose between living with a mother or a father. She said, "Mama, I couldn't choose like that!"

She said, "I would want you, because you are so fun. But I would also want daddy becasue he lets me be more "daring" than you do!" LOL

I said to her, that is why it is great to have a mom and a dad. We can balance each other out!
I reassured her that she would not have to choose between us. :)
She looked at me and said, "Mama, I'm happy!"

I know she is. I am happy too. I am happy that she has come so Very,VERY far. I am happy that she seem so settled and comfortable in her own skin. And I am happy that she is our wonderful, sweet, tweeny daughter. :)

Introducing Wally

Wally is our new kitten.




Wally was found INSIDE the WALL of my Brother's house! My sister kept on hearing this meowing coming from somewhere in the house. After a few days, she finally located the meow in the closet wall. They broke through the wall to find this little precious kitten meowing LOUDLY and hungry! So, after a few days of feeding him, we got the call, that they would bring him on over if we wanted him. DID WE WANT HIM? OH YEA!

The neat thing is, Anna was talking about wanting a cat again so badly. I told her, let's pray and see how God provides. Her prayers were answered the very next day!

I love these teaching moments and faith builders for our kids. She remembered right away our talk about letting God choose the right kitten for us. :)

My brother named him Wally, and we think that is a purrrrfect name for him. :)

Great Visit and Making Pickles

Our friends stopped in to visit us for a couple of days. We had a wonderful time together. The kids played and played, and we also took a trip to the lake. BUT.... I forgot my camera!!!!! UGH... Just imagine, water, wet kids, beach ball floating away to the other side of the earth, and hot sun. :)

While we were visiting I asked JJ if she had ever tried Clausen Pickles. She said yes.
We only had 2 left, and then she told me the most amazing thing. She said, "If you save the juice, just cut up a cucumber, put it in the jar and in a couple of days you'll have more pickles. WOW! We tried it and it worked! Thanks JJ! 44 cents for another jar of pickles. :)

Mike's Office

Mike loves Flags. He is actually designing his own flag and has been working on the final art work for it. Yesterday, he was getting really hot from the sun coming into the office, so he decided to hang a new flag. I thought it was really neat looking.
Here he is doing business! :) Howdy Mike!

A New Room For Anna

Well, the time came for Erika to give up her room to Anna. It is Anna's turn to have her own room for 6 months. They did really well, helping each other move things out of one room and into another, and vice versa. Erika was really happy in her own room, and Anna has said, if we get two twin beds instead of the bunk bed, she would be happy to stay with Sarah and let Erika have her own room for good. Sarah wants nothing to do with having her own room. She LOVES sharing and sleeping with her sisters.

I am thinking about Anna's proposition, but just THINKING. Erika wants me to think FAST. LOL

So while I am thinking and considering and discussing, Anna is enjoying reading in her room. :)

Comment Moderation

I am going to have to add comment moderation. I didn't want to, but the commenter named this: 韋于倫成 continues to place advertisements for pornography and CHILD pornography on my blog. I am sure this is some type of computer generated thing, but even using the little letter verification doesn't work. Soooo, because it happens at LEAST once a month, and I have to catch it, I am going to use the moderation tool.

I don't want to take any chance that this sick person would get any business.
Which leads me to my next idea.

Can we all agree to pray for this individual or these individuals and for the innocent victims that they so sickly advertise, the lives ruined, the babies permanently damaged, and the souls that are so sick that they would desire a child for devious reasons?

This is a family blog. It is a HEALTHY family blog where moms and dads and children love each other and love God. I cannot understand of fathom the depths of despair that goes behind a post like what this person put on my blog.

There is another person that comments from somewhere in Asia, who's posts are always fine. But I have to google translate each time to make sure.

It is so sad. Please join with me to pray that these people would come to know Christ, and their lives would be changed.

They're Here!

It's Blackberry Season again! It looks like we are going to have plenty for eating, baking and sharing!

Almost Done With Testing!

If I have learned anything the last week and a half, it is that our girls think very differently from the test makers. :)

Here are two examples of what I am talking about.

Anna:

She was given a map of a school (top view) and everything was labeled from the street to the parking lot, play ground, cafeteria, classrooms... etc.

She was asked, "Which classroom is located closest to the play ground?" There was a classroom that was right up against the wall to the playground. She didn't pick that one. (it was the correct answer) Instead, she picked a class that was the first class in the next hallway, that wasn't that close to the play ground. So I asked her why?
She said, because the door to the class room is in the hall way and you would have to walk all the way down that hall up the next and then turn to get to the play ground. The other class room is the one that if you walked out that dor, you would be there first! She was correct, IF you are thinking as a student being in a classroom. LOL


Sarah:
Howard had some metal shavings that he placed in a circle on a white sheet of paper.
He held a magnet over the paper and documented how many shavings he picked up at different distances. (there is a chart that shows ALL shavings picked up at 1/4 inch
most shavings at 3/4 inch, some a 1 inch and none at 3 inches.

The question was, at what distance did the MOST shavings get picked up. She answered 3/4 inch. I asked her about it. She said, they didn't say all, they said most and at 3/4 inch is when MOST got picked up! LOL

Ahhhh. we are almost done!

What ever happened to simple reading comprehension, vocabulary and math?

My Little Lilly Bean

We have always seemed to call Lilly, "Lilly Bean". Ever since we found out she was going to be, she was about the size of a bean back then, she was beany baby, and then Lilly Bean. :)

She is so funny. I am picking her up from Kindergarten right now because daddy is on the road with his band again.

Here was our conversation within the first 5 minutes after Kindergarten. :)


"Ya-Ya, I need a nap. Can I take a nap at your house? I had a long, hard day!"
"Ya-Ya, when I grow up I don't want to get married, I just want babies."
Ummmm Lilly, you have to get married before you have babies.
"Oh, then, I'll just be a vet...ranarian."Ya-Ya does this flower smell good? she smells it. "Ya-Ya, I think this is a stink flower!"