Ilse and Ems

So Sweet! :)

Russian/Ukrainian Christmas

Today is Orthodox Christmas.  We had our very first Christmas Meal on January 7th.  It included traditional Salad, Pelmeni and then Borscht.  Our desert was those Russian Cookies that are chocolate covered wafers. 
It was really fun!

What Do You Do When Damaging Words Are Spoken?

I wrote a blog post a couple of days ago called "THINGS NOT TO SAY!" 
I wanted to give an update on what happened and why our WORDS are SO VERY important.  I also want to share how I personally feel about situations like this, and what good can come from them.

If you read my linked post, a relative visited and said, "If you don't like this home you can come home with me!" 
This statement was made to a child who has been removed from her first home into an orphanage, then adopted by Americans, rejected by them, then sent to respite care, rejected once again by the first family, then sent to a Psych Unite for Evaluation, rejected once again by the first family, back to respite care then on to another adoptive family and rejected by them once again.  BOTH families spoke things I cannot write here. Things that SHOULD NEVER BE SAID.

Now, this relative KNOWS this.  She also KNOWS that Alli is fragile. She is doing well, has been doing very well, but she is still fragile.
To say I am upset about it is an understatement.  I am mama-bear angry.

Alli has struggled the last few days to gain her stability back.  She went from being a family member, to feeling like an outsider.  She has been dysregulated off and on and still says the statement really scared her.  It put her RIGHT BACK WHERE SHE WAS BEFORE SHE CAME HOME.
It has been hard work over the past couple of days to reassure her of our love for her, that she is not an outsider and does not pick her family when this one doesn't work out, because THIS ONE WILL WORK OUT! 
She was already worrying about what she was going to do and where she was going to go. 
Logically she knows she is staying.... but emotionally, she was walling up and protecting her heart, which means she began to lash out. 
To the average person, that lashing out made no sense.  But to us, it made total sense.
I have to say, I have the most awesome  husband and daughters.

They are all outside playing together right now, and being very forgiving.  Working through all the hurts of the past really HURTS.... A scab was pulled off and is beginning to heal once again.

A scab was pulled off for me too, and my wounds hurt too.... this relative is just difficult.

As for Mike and I, we made the decision FOR the forseeable future.... that this relative will not be able to come to  our home.   We will not be bringing the girls to their home.  We will make calls and be kind, but I cannot take this chance again.  It has happened before with our other girls, and we have been very guarded as to not cause our girls undue injury to their hearts.

I am saddened that Mike's mom and dad are no longer alive to be grand parents to our girls. :( 
But, we have the local nursing home and Miss Joy brings all of us Joy every week when we see her for Church. :)

Today, started out hard, with our sweetie once again feeling sad and totally vulnerable, convinced this family was not going to work, even though she is quite happy. Poor kid. :(

This afternoon, after praying and talking and just letting her talk it out, and her listening to me talk too, we are doing much better.

I was also able to use this a little for our good. I say a "little" because I'm still upset.  But we did talk to our girls about how to respond when people say stupid things.  We can take them and own them, or we can reject them as dumb comments that have no value or meaning.  It is like letting rude comments fall on deaf ears.
It is time for Miss Alli to take her stance on this and say "I AM A MINICH!"  And this may catapult her into having more ability to do just that! 

WE ARE TEAM MINICH~!

An Update on Perspectives

I posted yesterday about family friends who's 7 year old daughter has a brain tumor. They just found out yesterday evening, she had an emergency procedure done last night, and then tomorrow, they will have surgery to try and remove the tumor. 
Please pray for this precious family.  Here is the latest update.   They will know tomorrow if the tumor is benign or cancerous.  I cannot imagine.

It is a large brain tumor, approx 5cm x 5.6cm x 7cm . . . it has flattened Andrea's cerebellum into the shape of a pancake, and there is a build-up of intracranial pressure. The doctors believe it is likely a Juvenile Pilocytic Astrocytoma (JPA) tumor.

 

 

THINGS NOT TO SAY!!!!

We had a visit today from a relative.  It is always difficult for me with this particular relative, even though I enjoyed our visit.  Except for one thing!

She had not met Alli yet, and what is the first thing she says?  "Well, if you decide you don't like it here, you can just come home with me!"  UGH!  BIG FAT UGH!!!!!!

I very quickly intervened and said, "But you are here to stay sweetie!"  I then told, very NICELY I might add,  my relative, please don't do that again.  She said, "I was only kidding..."  I think I should have been firmer.

Well, we have had a couple of stellar days, and her "only kidding" had an effect on Alli. It SCARED her.   She didn't say anything at all.  She even said, "I thought she was nice."
And then, I could sense nervousness on her part.
She was starting to get dysregulated.  I could clearly see things were not the same as they had been all day.

"Alli, how did you feel about what X said?"  She instantly said, "Mama, that was scary!"  I got out my mama necklace from under my shirt and said, "You are here to stay. I'm your mama, you are NOT going anywhere! Ok?" 

She was relieved. And  I am so glad to clarify that with her. 

If you are reading this blog and don't think it was a big deal.... please let me assure you it WAS.  To say something like that to a child who has been moved around like Alli is downright STUPID.
It would be like asking an Iraqi war veteran who suffers from PTSD, if they would like to go back, remind them of the combat and then tell them "let's go!  hahahaha.  Not too funny.

To brush it off like it was nothing, without trying to understand, well, that is par for the course. :( Other than that, we had a good visit.

Perspectives

With all the election hoopalla going on and the discussions on candidates, with all the news on the Middle East to ponder, with all the silly little things we obsess about, like paper or plastic, saving a few pennies with coupons, what laundry soap to use or if we should save more..... NONE of it matters when reality hits home.

Today, our friends' are pondering what really matters....
This a.m. they were talking about the year, politics etc.
Tonight, their little 7 year old girl is in the hospital, diagnosed with a brain tumor.
Today, some things probably seemed important.
Tonight, IMPORTANCE has taken on new meaning.

Please join me in praying for Little Andrea and her family.  More will be known tomorrow.

A Reminder for Me!

THINK TRAUMA!  THINK FEAR!  THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!
there. I feel better. :)

We had a WONDERFUL time visiting family, playing, relaxing and having a carefree schedule.  However, it is all coming to an end, until next time.

Why oh WHY did I not think that it would effect Alli?  She made it through the holidays so well...yet, there was this little under the surface feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on.  And then....BOOM!
Yep! It was a BOOM, because I-ME- Muwa- wasn't paying attention, and didn't address it properly.
And she fell apart. :(

Sometimes our kids are so fragile, it is like a Humpty-Dumpty situation.  Thankfully all the pieces CAN be put together again.  And they come together quickly, especially when mom has her head on straight.

Last night DURING Family worship, Alli spilled some milk on the coffee table.  The milk wasn't an issue at all.  It was what happened afterwards....
Daddy asked her very nicely to clean it up so it wouldn't get all over. She was embarrassed about the spill, and brought in 1/2 a paper towel sheet to clean it up.  It was not NEAR enough, so he asked her to get more. She complied but was angry.  And then she was spreading it on the surface of the table instead of really letting it absorb.
The more he tried to help, the angrier she got, and then she said something snotty.  I tried to intervene and help her, but it was too late, and at that point she was combative. 


Instead of taking a breath and THINKING.... I walked right into the bee hive, and then I became the bee.  UGH
I tried to make her clean the table with my grouchiness.... it didn't work....
After several minutes,  and me gaining my head, I apologized for losing my temper. Then we went together into my room away from everybody else. 
We were quiet for a few minutes and then I tried to talk with her. She was in full PTSD mode.  I could see FEAR all over her face. It was then I realized, everything is over, and it is anniversary time once again.  She was moved before at this time.  Disruption wreaks such pain and havoc on our children. :(
Even if it is better, than staying where a child was, it doesn't mean that the sting of rejection isn't there.  Logically everybody may know this, but emotionally it really does suck dirt.

Instantly I asked her to listen carefully and look into my eyes.  Are you afraid you are leaving?  She burst into tears. "YES!"  "I'm afraid you don't love me!"
She sobbed for a while and said how sorry she was for how she acted.

So we snuggled and I showed her my mama necklace. "I'm your mama... You are NOT going ANYWHERE!  I do not love you because you are pretty, or because you are funny or smart, even though you are all of those things. I LOVE YOU because I CHOOSE to love you! And that is that!"
I love your fiestiness.... I love your tenderness.  I love you!
That means, I am committed to you and you can plan on getting married and I will be there!

To that she said, "I am not getting married mama!" "Can I just plan on living with you forever?" :)
So there we were looking at each other and I said, "We really need to stop meeting like this!" LOL
After that she went back into the living room and apologized to each of her sisters and her daddy. And I did too. And then we continued our evening..... whew! LOL

I want to work really hard this year on helping HER recognize when those feelings start to come, to be able to let us know so we can address it before it blows up.
I have several ideas on this that I will blog about once I see if they work. :)
I also want to work harder to remember that we have much ahead of us in healing, and I need to be THINKING before I speak. 
And Daddy, well daddy is just the best daddy.  He talked with her once again this a.m. and reassured her of his love for her.

Today was a  FABULOUS DAY!  

They Are Gone :(

We had a wonderful visit, and we will see them again....but they are GONE! :(
Truman said, "Ya-Ya". :)

When Generations Collide

I am an older mom.  I was 40 when Anna was born.  That is not out of the ordinary in our society today, but it WAS out of the ordinary when I was a child; or maybe my world was just very small.

I was a young mom for our first set of kids, having 4 boys by the time I was 24. They were all grown and out of the house by the time I was 45.  (right about the time Anna came)

So, this a.m. Anna requests oatmeal and an egg for breakfast.  She had a magazine in her hand and said, "I want to live a longer life!"
I served her breakfast to her and found the article she was reading....It was out of the AARP magazine! ROFL! 
Maybe I should actually READ that magazine too! LOL

When Anna And I Went To The Dentist

This is what was going on at home! :)

The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards

 Jonathan Edwards was a Puritan Minister and Missionary who lived during the 1700's.  His List of Resolutions is amazing. I have read them many times.  I have taken some of these into my own life and made them my own resolutions too.  I hope they bless you today. :)

CM

 

                       Jonathan Edwards’ Resolution

                                 The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards (1722-1723)
Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God’s help, I do humbly entreat him by his grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ’s sake.

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God’s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad’s of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.
2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the aforementioned things.
3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.
4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.
5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.
6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.
7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.
8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.
9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.
10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.
11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances don’t hinder.
12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.
13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.
14. Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.
15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger to irrational beings.
16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.
17. Resolved, that I will live so as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.
18. Resolved, to live so at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.
19. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.
20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.
21. Resolved, never to do anything, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him.
22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power; might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.
23. Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God’s glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution.
24. Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it.
25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.
26. Resolved, to cast away such things, as I find do abate my assurance.
27. Resolved, never willfully to omit anything, except the omission be for the glory of God; and frequently to examine my omissions.
28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.
29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it; nor that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.
30. Resolved, to strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion, and to a higher exercise of grace, than I was the week before.
31. Resolved, never to say anything at all against anybody, but when it is
perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this Resolution.
32. Resolved, to be strictly and firmly faithful to my trust, that that in Prov. 20:6, “A faithful man who can find?” may not be partly fulfilled in me.
33. Resolved, always to do what I can towards making, maintaining, establishing and preserving peace, when it can be without over-balancing detriment in other respects. Dec.26, 1722.
34. Resolved, in narration’s never to speak anything but the pure and simple verity.
35. Resolved, whenever I so much question whether I have done my duty, as that my quiet and calm is thereby disturbed, to set it down, and also how the question was resolved. Dec. 18, 1722.
36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it. Dec. 19, 1722.
37. Resolved, to inquire every night, as I am going to bed, wherein I have been negligent, what sin I have committed, and wherein I have denied myself: also at the end of every week, month and year. Dec.22 and 26, 1722.
38. Resolved, never to speak anything that is ridiculous, sportive, or matter of laughter on the Lord’s day. Sabbath evening, Dec. 23, 1722.
39. Resolved, never to do anything that I so much question the lawfulness of, as that I intend, at the same time, to consider and examine afterwards, whether it be lawful or no; except I as much question the lawfulness of the omission.
40. Resolved, to inquire every night, before I go to bed, whether I have acted in the best way I possibly could, with respect to eating and drinking. Jan. 7, 1723.
41. Resolved, to ask myself at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly in any respect have done better. Jan. 11, 1723.
42. Resolved, frequently to renew the dedication of myself to God, which was made at my baptism; which I solemnly renewed, when I was received into the communion of the church; and which I have solemnly re-made this twelfth day of January, 1722-23.
43. Resolved, never henceforward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God’s, agreeable to what is to be found in Saturday, January 12. Jan.12, 1723.
44- Resolved, that no other end but religion, shall have any influence at all on any of my actions; and that no action shall be, in the least circumstance, any otherwise than the religious end will carry it. Jan.12, 1723.
45. Resolved, never to allow any pleasure or grief, joy or sorrow, nor any affection at all, nor any degree of affection, nor any circumstance relating to it, but what helps religion. Jan.12 and 13.1723.
46. Resolved, never to allow the least measure of any fretting uneasiness at my father or mother. Resolved to suffer no effects of it, so much as in the least alteration of speech, or motion of my eve: and to be especially careful of it, with respect to any of our family.
47. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peace able, contented, easy, compassionate, generous, humble, meek, modest, submissive, obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable, even, patient, moderate, forgiving, sincere temper; and to do at all times what such a temper would lead me to. Examine strictly every week, whether I have done so. Sabbath morning. May 5,1723.
48. Resolved, constantly, with the utmost niceness and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ or no; that when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of. May 26, 1723.
49. Resolved, that this never shall be, if I can help it.
50. Resolved, I will act so as I think I shall judge would have been best, and most prudent, when I come into the future world. July 5, 1723.
51. Resolved, that I will act so, in every respect, as I think I shall wish I had done, if I should at last be damned. July 8, 1723.
52. I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age. July 8, 1723.
53. Resolved, to improve every opportunity, when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind, to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ, to trust and confide in him, and consecrate myself wholly to him; that from this I may have assurance of my safety, knowing that I confide in my Redeemer. July 8, 1723.
54. Whenever I hear anything spoken in conversation of any person, if I think it would be praiseworthy in me, Resolved to endeavor to imitate it. July 8, 1723.
55. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to act as I can think I should do, if I had already seen the happiness of heaven, and hell torments. July 8, 1723.
56. Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.
57. Resolved, when I fear misfortunes and adversities, to examine whether ~ have done my duty, and resolve to do it; and let it be just as providence orders it, I will as far as I can, be concerned about nothing but my duty and my sin. June 9, and July 13 1723.
58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity. May27, and July 13, 1723.
59. Resolved, when I am most conscious of provocations to ill nature and anger, that I will strive most to feel and act good-naturedly; yea, at such times, to manifest good nature, though I think that in other respects it would be disadvantageous, and so as would be imprudent at other times. May 12, July ii, and July 13.
60. Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination. July 4, and 13, 1723.
61. Resolved, that I will not give way to that listlessness which I find unbends and relaxes my mind from being fully and fixedly set on religion, whatever excuse I may have for it-that what my listlessness inclines me to do, is best to be done, etc. May 21, and July 13, 1723.
62. Resolved, never to do anything but duty; and then according to Eph. 6:6-8, do it willingly and cheerfully as unto the Lord, and not to man; “knowing that whatever good thing any man doth, the same shall he receive of the Lord.” June 25 and July 13, 1723.
63. On the supposition, that there never was to be but one individual in the world, at any one time, who was properly a complete Christian, in all respects of a right stamp, having Christianity always shining in its true luster, and appearing excellent and lovely, from whatever part and under whatever character viewed: Resolved, to act just as I would do, if I strove with all my might to be that one, who should live in my time. Jan.14′ and July ’3′ 1723.
64. Resolved, when I find those “groanings which cannot be uttered” (Rom. 8:26), of which the Apostle speaks, and those “breakings of soul for the longing it hath,” of which the Psalmist speaks, Psalm 119:20, that I will promote them to the utmost of my power, and that I will not be wear’, of earnestly endeavoring to vent my desires, nor of the repetitions of such earnestness. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
65. Resolved, very much to exercise myself in this all my life long, viz. with the greatest openness I am capable of, to declare my ways to God, and lay open my soul to him: all my sins, temptations, difficulties, sorrows, fears, hopes, desires, and every thing, and every circumstance; according to Dr. Manton’s 27th Sermon on Psalm 119. July 26, and Aug.10 1723.
66. Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.
67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what good I have got by them, and what I might have got by them.
68. Resolved, to confess frankly to myself all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
69. Resolved, always to do that, which I shall wish I had done when I see others do it. Aug. 11, 1723.
70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak.
Aug. 17, 1723

NEW YEAR'S EVE

What a DAY!  Joe, Becca, Sam and Truman came over for the day. Our friend Kathi came over also, and then Joe and Becca's friends came over with Ella and Thomas.  We had fun babysitting while they all went out to dinner.    
Becca also did hair today. I love how she did the girls' hair.  Thanks Becca!

 When all the kids around are Aunts, this is the only hat available. :)

 THOMAS

 SAM AND ELLA IN THE WHEEL BARROW

 TRUMAN REACHING FOR THE ROCK TO PUT BACK IN HIS MOUTH.

YA YA AND SAM TRYING TO DO PIRATE FACES.  AYE!

TRUMAN IS ALMOST AS BIG AS ALLI!

And now, we get cleaned up and watch a movie. :)

A HUGE thank you To Anna for all the help with the babies. :)

The Hutch

We took down the Christmas things today and put them back in the attic. I am SO THANKFUL for all my girls who helped me get it all done in record time!  They went upstairs in the attic to "clean" and "play house", and I played house down stairs. :)

I gave this Hutch to my daughter Em's a few years ago, and now she no longer has room for it. So we brought it home. I sure did miss it!   So it is happily back in the dining room and the dishes are all nestled back where they belong. :) 

So nice to begin the New Year Cleaning Phase! :)

And of course, Erika has asked if she can inherit this.  

As This Year Comes To A Close....

I have so very much to be thankful for.  I am thankful for my hard working husband. I am thankful for all 8 of our children, 4 daughter's in law, 10 grand children (one in the oven still) and all of our friends and family who have loved on us and supported us this year.

I am thankful to the Lord for His Mercy and Grace in our lives. What an amazing ride we have been on this year.  We have had excitement and heartbreak, joy and sadness,  triumph and tragedy....  and HE has been with us through it all.

We dearly miss Grampa and Gramma and Uncle Jim.  Holidays are so different without them. :(  But we know that they would be very happy that we are carrying on our lives here as we should. 
We have met new friends and reunited with old ones.  

The joy and richness of life has been palpable.  I love it that there has been change in my heart for the better, and that Miss Alli was able to get deep into my hidden closet of hurts, draw them out and cause me to have to face them.  Thank you Alli! :)

I have much more to face about myself in the coming years, I am sure.

One of the highlights this week was talking to My Dabba; my other mom.  She is 91 and doing OH SO WELL! We are so far apart, but when we talk, it is if we were always talking all along.  She is so dear and special to me.  We easily express our love for each other.  I owe her so very much.

I am Thankful for our church body, where we have only been for 2 1/2 years.  It was a hard decision to change, but it was the right decision.  Our pastor, Justin Wheeler is a fantastic teacher and I have learned so much from him.

I am thankful for those of you in the adoption community that have encouraged us, written comments on the blog and called or written private letters.  THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!

As we come upon  2012, we face the unknown, as does everybody!  2011 has not been an easy year, but it has been  a RICH year; not in money but in LOVE.

I honestly cannot believe it is almost 2012!  Miss Alli has been home almost 10 months!  She has a birthday coming up in February, on the same day as Mike. :) 

The Lord will give us the grace to go through whatever life throws at us this year.  I am thankful to be a small part of the Body of Christ. 

May the Lord Bless You and Keep You and give you a Peaceful, Happy and Prosperous New Year!

And Remember Love NEVER Fails! Never EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER give up! Never EVER, EVER, EVER! :)   Perfect LOVE Casts out all fear!  True Love is Unconditional, or it is not love, it is something else.  Life is pain.... anybody who says different is selling something! :)  KIDS CAN AND DO HEAL FROM TRAUMA! Don't forget to forgive, as you have been forgiven MUCH!
                                                                   Happy New Year! 
Love,
Christie M

Something I Adore

I ADORE that our boys love each other so much.  I ADORE that our girls love each other so much, and that our Daughter's In Law love each other so much.  These are the things that make a MaMa happy. :)

Our sons are all visiting together (minus Chuck in NM) and loving each other's company.  Chuck and Jodie would love to be here too.
It reminds me of them when the guys were young.  They were like a pack.  And that is what the girls are like too. A giant pack. :)
The sibling relationship is the longest lasting relationship you will ever have; even longer than the relationship with your parents. It is so important to foster those relationships in our children. 

Becca told me that as soon as Sam and Will saw each other, they were off and playing.  Cousins.... so precious.

This is all any mama would ever want for Christmas. :)

Sam and Truman

I got to babysit yesterday for a little while when Becca took the girls out to Starbucks, and to go roller skating. :)
Sam and Truman are so precious.  Sam is amazingly smart! He beat me at Blokus on his first try! Then he asked to play Solitaire on the computer, and he knows how! He is FOUR! LOL

 Somehow, this doesn't fit. LOL

 It is fun to get into EVERYTHING! LOL

 Sam and the famous "Dabba Dimple".....   (Dabba is my other mom. Several of the kids and grand kids have her dimple.)

 Playing Pinball.

 Playing solitaire.

New Year's Resolutions 2012

This year has been a whirlwind of activity.  I did really good on some of my new year's resolutions from last year.  I kept my promise that I will not use paper plates, and we haven't.  :)  I am still gluten free and have learned to cook even more gluten free recipes that are delicious and healthy.

I have had some big fat failures:  Working more in the business, writing and staying away from coke.

I see resolutions as a good thing. If you have nothing to strive towards, you won't strive. :)

So I'm starting my list. I hope to achieve all of it, with the help of the Lord.

My number one resolution after : To spend more time in bible study, reflection and prayer,
is to help out more with the business.
To get the taxes filed early.
To transfer all our mail from the P.O. box to the regular address.
To write and COMPLETE my writing project.
To spend LESS time on social media, and more time being productive.

To exercise at least 3 times a week.
To get at LEAST ONE LOAD OF LAUNDRY COMPLETED each and every day. (that includes folded and put away)  That means, no more rewashing the load I forgot to get out of the washer the night before.
To PLAN and STICK TO a SERIOUS budget. 
To write letters to prisoners.
To join in active ministry with orphans.
To start and continue an adoption support group.
To be a better teacher.
Learning more chords on the banjo.
that's the begining....


What are some of yours?

What Success Really Looks Like

This can apply to most anything: Careers, Marriages,Educational pursuits... but it really made me think about "Older Child Adoption" and what a comlexity it is to raise our children. :)  I often say, 3 steps forward 2 steps back.  This line is much more accurate. LOL

This is what it looks like to raise a child who is all over the place in emotional maturity, intellect, physical ability and sensory issues.  It is what it is like to try and understand what emotional level a child can be at, in any given moment. :)  It is what it is like to raise a child who has had trauma.
Complicated?  Oh Yea!  The neat thing though, is that we grow ourselves! We change ourselves, if we are brave enough to see that WE NEED TO CHANGE TOO!
There is HUGE blessing in  raising children, and HUGE blessing in raising children who have been thoroughly touched by trauma.  The big fat squiggly line part, is where many people feel they cannot go on, and disruption occurs.  Keeping one's eye on the end of that arrow, can help those struggling to see that it WILL get better.  Trauma blindsides us sometimes.  We think we are headed straight and then, we go through a roller coaster.  But coming out the other side of that is MORE HEALING, in depth healing that can only be had through the struggle. 
So look at the end of the arrow! It is still headed to  success!  Which means something different for each individual family.  But happy, healthy, thriving adults in the future, who are secure and compassionate, forgiving and forgiven, trusting, full of grace and mercy, and striving to reach a newer personal goal, is what I have in mind. :)
Wishing everybody a TRULY Happy and Healing New Year! :)

Guess Who's Going to the Dentist???

Yep.... It is Miss Anna's Turn! :)  So she is getting in some last minute sugar.

 And then, she'll make peace with her teeth. :)

We Had Eggs...

:)