What Is A Mom?

"My mom", "My other mom", "My third mom", "My first foster mom" "My last foster mom"......"My Russian Mom", "You are my favorite mom".....

 LOL.... yes, these are normal in our house.

(I looked up images on google for a mom picture and this was the first one that showed up)
So it is official... I look like a mom! LOL

Sometimes when we are having fun conversations, talk about other things that have happened come up.  Using our square cheese grater reminds Alli of Russia, and preparing a meal with her Russian mom. When Anna goes clothing shopping she is reminded of foster care. Sometimes candy will remind her of a particular foster mom, and eating cereal off of the floor will remind her of another one.

The truth is, they have all had other moms! I am 6th in a line of moms for Anna.  5th or 6th  in a line of moms for Alli, if I were to include her respite care providers.
So what IS a mom, and how do our kids establish who we are in their lives?
Of course everybody has a birth mom. That is the person who cared enough to give you life.  Maybe they couldn't care for you, or didn't want to.  Maybe they were too afraid, or were told things that caused them to not keep you. Or maybe they couldn't care for you due to substance abuse.
 These are the realities of the birth mom. 

Foster moms come into the lives of our children when they are placed into state care.  Some are committed to loving a child that will not be staying with them forever.  Others not so much. There  are many reasons people foster kids, and I would like to believe that they are all good, but reality is, they aren't.  I am so thankful for the committed foster parents out there who truly want what is best for the children in their care. 

And finally, there is the adoptive mom.  She is the one who is the last stop.  She is the final mom; or not.  Sometimes there is more than one adoptive mom before our children are finally settled. This has happened twice in our home with our girls.  One has had two adoptive moms, and the other has had three!

 The final adoptive mom  is the one who is safe enough for our children to take their hurts to, after all that rejection.   She sees the good, the bad and the ugly... but she also gets to see the success, the love and  the growth.
She gets to see the end result as she commits her life, laying it down for another!  And it is great reward! She is the one who gets to help her child sort through the tangled mess that trauma can bring, and delights when she sees a light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

And guess what?  Our children know that we are their final mom.
They know because they slowly but surely learn to trust us. They know because we prove it to them day in and day out... loving them tenderly, coming along side them, leading and guiding them from fear, to love.

There is no time for the final mom  to feel sorry for herself, if things have been hard.  There is no time to blame others. There is no time to blame the child who has suffered.  There is no room for anger towards any other mom. There is no room for unforgiveness.  These things must be dealt with personally, and continuously given over to the Lord to bear. We as moms, cannot bear those burdens. We were not designed to.
When we take them on, it causes us spiritual harm and we cannot parent as we should.There is only room for love. It is not our place to worry about what God has not given us.  He has given us our children.  They are to be our focus.
In reading 1st John 4:18-21, he says,
"18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Moms, this is how we need to walk.  In love, not fear.  Perfect Love casts out fear. :)  Isn't that awesome!  When our perspective is in line with Christ; we do not fear.  We do not fear for our child's future. We do not fear for tomorrow.
 Christ is there to walk with us all along the way!  The circumstances may not change; life is not perfect, and as long as we are in this imperfect world, there will be trials. 
But how we view those trials can cause us to live out our lives in peace and love, or chaos and anger.

I choose love.
How about you?

Insight

I have been praying about a problem that I have faced over the last week.  It actually didn't show up this past week, it just came to a head in my heart.  It has nothing to do with my children, or their trauma.  It has everything to do with the adoption community and hostilities that exist between those who judge others intentions, and even question the integrity and honesty of their blogging.

It had been on the back burner simmering for a long, long time. 
Last night, I took some advice from "The Connected Child" book regarding getting rid of our own baggage.
I decided to write a blog post about how I felt.... I worked on it for a few days and then I deleted it.
I gave it to the Lord, where it belonged in the first place!  He is my defender. He KNOWS.  And that is enough!  Wow was that ever freeing!

In my prayer, I realized I was letting people's opinions, whom I have never even met, have power in my life!  That is just wrong! What a strange world we live in, where we know people from all over the world! But do we really know them?  No! We don't.
My sin.  My wrong.

Realizing that there is still a bit of "fear" in my life was eye opening.  I need to rearrange some priorities.  My eyes were being distracted from my Lord, and paying attention to circumstances around me; circumstances that I cannot control. 

I want to be surrounded by those who really "get" the Christian walk.  They "get" the sacrifice that God wants from us; a life surrendered completely to His will.  This is my desire and it effects all areas of my life.  Christianity cannot and must not be "compartmentalized".    It can't be.  If Christ is in us, we are His! Our ways must be His.  And I am so thankful for those who are wonderful examples of walking with Christ in the midst of difficult circumstances. 
God does not take our trials away. He walks us through them! And the perspective on that trial changes greatly when we know the truth; that God is in control. Period.
  

Romans 12: 1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers,^[a] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.^{[b] 2} Do not be conformed to this world,^[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.^[d
His Perfect Will.... Oh how I love basking in Him, In his love. I thank him for pointing, ever so gently that I was needing to get my eyes on Him.  "Don't look to the left or the right. You follow Me!"

The Footprint

There are so many things that happen in life when you are not in the adoption community.....
When your babies are born, they take their footprints in the hospital for a cute little keepsake of their birth.
I don't have any footprints of my four girls....
That is until today!

We were studying fingerprints in science, and Miss Alli decided her footprint was also necessary!
I will cherish it always, just like those little tiny footprints of the boys.... because it is hers. :)
And I love her.

"Oh There You Are Peter!"

I don't know if any of you have seen the movie "Hook"....but in it, Peter Pan grows up and gets older. One of the lost boys doesn't recognize him until he examines him closely and then says, "Oh there you are Peter!" (under all those wrinkles)

I have been raising kids for 34 plus years.  I looked quite different to my boys than I look to my girls.
This morning after our devotional, they got curious.... "What did you look like 20-30 years ago?"

And then I was subjected to this!

They were trying to smoothe out my wrinkles to see what I might have looked like to the guys. LOL
And this is what it looked like to me!

I just tell them that inside, I am the same! :)
And.... I have EARNED every wrinkle and gray hair!

SUFFERING

Tonight, we were studying in First Peter. 
"There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

I was thinking about Trials..... The New Testament speaks about trials all throughout  the various books.  James says

² Dear brothers and sisters,^[a] when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

It is a tricky subject talking about trials with our kids.  Many of them have been through some pretty Extreme trials! 
What do we DO with Arthrogryposis, feet being amputated, restrictive band syndrome, child abuse, abandonment, foster care, orphanages, dying rooms and Much More???

How do we reconcile  that we serve a Loving God, who Also Allows for such things?
We know God is capable of intervention, yet sometimes he allows trauma!

I don't want to write a "trite" answer to this. 

But what I Do know, is that the Lord is close to those who suffer.

I remember when Erika first began to speak English, she remembered a lot about the laying room she was in.  I wrote things down, because I knew she wouldn't always remember.
She told me that she was visited by the Lord.  He comforted her. I believe her account completely!

I don't pretend to understand suffering, though I have suffered in this life too.  I think most have.
But I do know that God has a purpose in suffering, and it is for our good. That makes some mad, and makes them run from God.  But it should make us run to God.
In light of eternity... this life is a momentary, fleeting time.  It is but a "breath". I wrote this post called "My Window" last year.<----linked


All I know is that there is great joy in serving Christ.  Life makes sense in Christ.  Trauma makes sense in Christ. Suffering makes sense in Christ, because knowing Christ has eternal benefit.

I think about Alex Krutov who suffered greatly in his early life; most of his life, as he is only 33. :)
He said, "My mother dumped me in a garbage can when I was two days old."  "I was rescued from that garbage can by somebody." 

I can ask God, "Why did you let me get dumped in that garbage can....OR I can thank Him for sending somebody to get me out of the garbage can."
He chose the latter.

I pray that we can see suffering in this life as a momentary affliction that brings about gold in our lives and causes us to run to Christ.... the author and finisher of our faith.

Heather's Daily Reflections

If you have not signed up for these, you really should!  They are sent to you free in your email each morning for a thoughtful thing to wake up to.  I have always found them to be so refreshing!

I am going to post the last few to give you an idea of what they are like.....

Life is a series of appointments, not accidents. Each interaction we have with our spouse or child is an appointment set in advance by God. How are you going to conduct these Divine meetings today?    Heather Forbes There is no room for fear in relationships. To apply this concept to parenting, compare these two approaches: (1) 'Suzy, I'm taking these toys out of your room until you get your homework done. Not until then will you get them back.' OR (2) 'Suzy, I think you're having a hard time keeping focused with all these toys in your room. Why don't you come sit with me while I'm paying my bills--they're kinda like my homework--and that way, we can help each other stay focused?' The first example places all the blame on the child. The parent uses "things" to create motivation within her child. The parent is threatening and controlling. This fear gets transferred to the child and makes the relationship between parent and child based in fear, not love. The second example accepts the child in her development and understands that she has not learned to remain focused (this is still a problem for many 'grown' ups). This second example is a response to give assistance, not a reaction to make the child do her task. Nothing was taken away, only given (love and understanding). This response also recognizes that motivation comes from an internal state of calm, not from external fear-based rewards. Heather Forbes Fear inside us is revealed in what we do and in the way we do it. Heather Forbes When looking closer to what it means to be responsible for our children, we need to examine the word 'responsible.' The root word of responsible is response. One of Webster's definitions for response is, 'a verse, sentence, phrase, or word said or sung by the choir or congregation in reply to the officiant in a religious service.' Today, ask yourself if you are singing hymns in response to your child's behaviors or are you reacting as a protestor from the picket line? Heather Forbes You can sign up for these at www.beyondconsequences.com and when they run out.... sign up again!  I believe there are 100 of them.  :)

Healing From Old Baggage

All of us come into life, naked and crying for comfort.  Some receive that comfort, some don't.  From the moment of conception, our lives are full of experiences both negative and positive. 
I have written extensively on this blog about attachment, bonding, the neglect of orphans and their physical and emotional needs. 

A couple of years ago I wrote this post <--- (linked) about "Any Unpacked Bags"....

Today, I'd like to cover more detail on this, and why it is of PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE to deal with our OWN healing in order to help our children.  I also want to offer hope for those who did not have a "stellar" or "nurturing" childhood, but felt the sting of dysfunction, due to neglect, abuse, divorce, alcoholism, death, or any other trauma that can wreak havoc on an individual.  There is hope for healing and having happy, secure attachments with your children and other healthy relationships!

 The Tender Heart's Support group has been studying Karyn Purvis's Book, "The Connected Child". We finished chapter 12 last night in Support Group.  It was the last chapter.

She mentioned in the chapter that many times parents who bring children in for therapy, are needy themselves.  An AAI test is given to analyze where the parent is coming from.

Here is an excerpt from her book that you might find very helpful! :)

When answering questions about your own parents you tend to:
( If your attachment style is secure)
Answer honestly and truthfully.
express appreciation and value for close relationships and bonds
be comfortable discussing interpersonal connections
give specific, clear examples that illustrate your observations about the past
have a balanced perspective on the good and the bad, talking about the failures of your parents as well as the good things, without dwelling on either

express thoughts using speech that is coherent, with the past distinguished from the present.
have coherent recollections of your childhood, with a clear time line
display a sense of humor and forgiveness for the past.

(If your attachment style is insecure)

give short, vague, or dismissive answers, or give excessively long and rambling responses, you can't seem to stop

make broad generalities about the past but can't give specific, clear examples that illustrate the points,
give misleading or incomplete responses
use black or white terms idealizing your parents or denigrating them
minimize or block out negative experiences
actively hang on to grudges, anger, and resentments
have confusing or contradictory details in your stories about them
have incoherent thoughts or speech
confuse the past with the present.

Securely attached adults are better negogiators in close relationships. Only a secure mother can say, "Tell me what hurts, sweetheart," and listen attentively and respectfully to the answer.
When an adult is avoiding her own history, entangled in her past or disorganized about her losses, she can't accurately assess and respond to a harmed child's reality.  Only a secure mother can find the heart of the highest risk child.
...........
If you did not have safe, nurturing or warm relations with your family as a child, odds are, your own style is insecure, HOWEVER, be reasurred that you can still achieve a secure attachment style IF you are willing to face up to your own difficult past.

To do this, you will need to visit the past with ferocious HONESTY and be willing to explore and examine it head on. You can come clean about the past in a variety of ways including:

Keeping a journal about your feelings and history
drawing pictures about your feelings and history
talking to a counselor, therapist or clergy member
writing a story about it
taking walks and talking to a friend about it
writing a letter to the person, then tearing it up and burning it.
Accept what happened to you in the past was not ideal, yet at the same time recognize the individuals who hurt you probably did the best they could with the tools they had. Accept the people who hurt you were laboring under thier own demons.
Be willing to come to terms with the past and release it, have a sense of humor about it, and then go forward FREELY in the present."
excerpt taken from Karyn Purvis' Book The Connected Child chapter 12
.....................................................................

Nobody has had a perfect childhood, some less perfect than others and some downright awful.
But  Karyn is right.  If we don't deal with our own issues, it will be VERY HARD to deal with our children's.  Those buttons we say are pushed....... yep... unresolved issues in ourselves.

If you find yourself  over reacting in a negative way, when your child acts out, it might be a good idea to think long and hard about why certain buttons are such a trigger for you.  Deal with the trigger and the button disappears! :)

One of the exercises we did last night was using 5 adjectives to describe the relationship with our parents before the age of 12.
Then, write an explanation relating to each adjective.

The final question was:  "What happened when you were upset?" 
(what was your mother's or father's reaction when you were upset)
Those answers can be very telling in how we respond when our own children are upset.

This is not a chapter about blaming parents or it's all your mother's fault type malarky.  But it is REAL that the toes of the past step on the heels of the present.
If you can CLEARLY analyze your experiences, it is very helpful in understanding yourself and why you may react to your children.
Our children NEED us to be at our best, prepared to help THEM deal with THEIR trauma!
Attaching and bonding is so important. Don't let your past hold them back by getting in the way of their healing and future!

I will be taking a group through this book again starting pretty soon.  (hopefully next week)
I really do suggest reading chapter 12, and then going through the entire book with chapter 12 in mind..... and then really going through chapter 12. :)

Our regular support group will be starting Beyond Consequences Logic and Control Volume 2.

Join The 2013 Ultimate Blog Party

I joined.... there are several different categories to enter.  If you have a blog.... come join the party! :)

My introduction:  I write about all sorts of things.  Adoption, trauma, normal family stuff, funnies, and personal thoughts about Christianity.  We are a BCLC family, and I invite you to have a cup of coffee, sit back and explore. :)
I have posted quite a bit over the last several years.
 
I joined the Special Needs Category,<---( linked )  though I think I fit into a few. :)

Adoption Is NOT A Contest!

I was getting ready to write this and Erika came up and said, "Mama, do you just think of posts to write and write them?" 
I told her, "When I have something on my heart, I write it."
She replied, "You should really just do your book because I really DO want to go to Disney World!" LOL

But, I DO have something on my mind.

Over the last week, there have been two very public families that have announced that they are either planning to adopt, or that they have already adopted and are thrilled with their child.  One family plans to adopt internationally, the other adopted through the foster care system and has been advocating for the adoption of Children through the foster care system. 

The negativity within the adoption community has been rather unreal!  Who's side are we on? Do we want children to find forever families? 
Why do we call into question these families? 

Here is a quote from Nia Vardala's blog:
" Nine months later through their various connections, we were "matched" with our daughter. Working with a private lawyer, our adoption was finalized within a year.
And yes, she is perfect. She is a toddler, under the age of five, and to say she's adapted well would be a huge understatement. The experience of transitioning this child was astonishing and well, just too personal to go into now. We kept it quiet for almost a year to protect her privacy and give her time to adjust.
Last November as the holidays approached, my husband and I thought about the 129,000 kids waiting for a family and decided to announce our daughter's adoption to raise awareness of National Adoption Month.
This is why I'm writing about this now. Maybe there are other people out there who want to adopt a child through FosAdopt."

It sounds to me like they understood this child's needs and kept her protected for a YEAR!
She has also written a book <---Link  about their experience in order to help others navigate through the foster care system.  I have not read it... but I want to!

It seems that the negativity may be coming from those who are struggling with difficulties, and their view of a successful adoption, is that the people are clueless or don't know that their child really MUST BE emotionally disturbed.....

Umm.  Where is the joy for a child finding a home?  Where is the joy that THIS child is doing WELL?
Where is the joy that a very well known person is advocating for children to find MUCH NEEDED FAMILIES???

I have a friend who has adopted from Foster Care and their little girl has been a sweet blessing from DAY ONE!  They are excellent parents, educated themselves, and their daughter is flourishing!

I know of other families where it hasn't gone so well. :(    But that isn't the point.
Why are we assuming that because something is going well, it can't be real?

All four of our girls are flourishing at home.  I don't think it is luck. And I seriously doubt it is "luck" with this other family.    Maybe they adopted an easy child?  Maybe they educated themselves and this child is flourishing BECAUSE of that!
Why do we judge and make assumptions about somebody we don't even know???

And the quote that really got me, and the reason I wrote this post in the first place was the headline... "Adoptive Parents wish NV would shut her big fat Greek mouth!"  How rude can that be?

That is very bothersome.
I don't want her to shut her mouth. I want her to shout her experience from the house tops!

For the other public family, I think if they are open enough to adopt, they will most likely be open enough to educate themselves too, and then make a decision.  Public families can grow and learn, just like us.
I pray that their adoption brings about growth within them and within the child that God has chosen for them. :)

For all of us in the adoption community, let's be kind, and SUPPORT each other! Let's give these families credit for stepping outside of their comfort zone to follow a calling to be parents!
If somebody is doing WELL, BE HAPPY FOR THEM!  If they aren't, offer support and prayers. 
FOR ALL OF US..... A little HUMOR goes a LONG WAY and let's not take ourselves so seriously that we think we are the only ones who know anything.

Jealousy and Strife have no place in adoption.

Encouraging Teen Girls....

Oh my these girls are growing up!  It doesn't seem like long ago they were so little, playing with dolls and making mud pies.

Next year, 3 of them will be in 9th grade!  Where has the time gone?

I really do love this age.  You can talk about so many things at such a deep level.  Sometimes they WANT to talk, and sometimes they don't. :)  Sometimes they prefer to write things down and have you write a reply back.  Whatever it takes, I want to make sure they know that they can tell me anything, anytime, always and forever!

Today, after our morning devotions, I asked the girls to write down 5 things that are GOOD about themselves.  "Reflect for a few minutes and just jot down those 5 things."  At first a couple of them were rather uncomfortable.  And then every body succeeded to write 5 things down.  All were thoughtful. :)
Tomorrow, I will have them write 5 things that are good about a sister. Sometimes when you write your thoughts  down and think about them, the good in somebody else is much easier to see. We will do this for a few more days until we cover all the sisters, and then we are going to share the lists. 

I want them to be confident young ladies. I want them to see the best in each other. I want them to have confidence to stand against bullies. )
I have so much to share with them. :) 
Loving this mama thing. :)

So What IS Adoption

I wrote this post in November of 2011, but changed the date to move it forward.

I have written several posts on adoption over the years including Thoughts About Adoption and The Importance of Adoption and Special Needs.
Today I'd like to share some more thoughts regarding adoption.  Is it possible to have any more?  Yes. :)

I have read several articles lately about adopting children from terrible places.  Many of those children have been literally RESCUED from a life of despair and misery.  2 of our own daughters were in these awful places, and are now home with us.

There is a sentiment that I think needs to be clarified.  Some find it offensive for somebody to "rescue" a child.  They will say this is no reason to adopt.
Others will say that you are only adding to your family in a different way and if you are adopting for any other reason, you shouldn't.

These are sticky subjects, but I'd like to share my own feelings on the subject.
While I agree that if you are only doing something out of a guilt driven obligation,  then please re evaluate what you are doing.
On the other side of that "rescue operation" is an entire life of commitment, and it goes beyond 18 years of age!
In fact, if your commitment to ANY child, biological or adopted is 18 years,  please reconsider whether you should adopt OR give birth!

 So what exactly IS adoption?
Adoption is to take another child who is NOT born from your body, into your family and GIVE THEM YOUR NAME, YOUR INHERITANCE, YOUR LOVE  and YOUR LIFE.....JUST as if they had been BORN TO YOU on that very day!
On the birth certificate, YOUR name is there! It is as if you gave birth to that child! Period.
Your child is GRAFTED INTO your family as a part of a  living,  VINE.  They will bear fruit and thrive in the family. They ARE EQUAL in value just as a child from your body.  There IS NO DIFFERENCE and SHOULD BE NO DIFFERENCE!

If you cannot see an adopted child in that light, then please reconsider why you want to adopt.

As far as being "rescued".  I can honestly say that YES, our children, especially those who adopt children from some of the most despairing places are PLUCKED out and RESCUED!  Had they not been adopted, they would be in mental institutions, tied to beds, drugged, and starved and even worse, NEVER LOVED.  :(   THAT IS REALITY.
So when you see pictures of my sweet girls, or others who blog about their children.... THEY WERE RESCUED.  But that was NOT our focus, nor IS it.
We have never felt our girls owed us anything  for bringing them home. Just because a child is brought out of dire circumstances does not give them any obligation towards the family that brings them in.  They are hurt and traumatized.
  
WE as PARENTS have EVERY obligation given to us to MAKE our ADOPTIONS WORK and to KEEP OUR COMMITMENTS that we have made to LOVE and CHERISH our children.  In TIME, our children respond to our LOVE and their LOVE for us is truly cherished.

For the couple who is only wanting to add to the family in a different way than childbirth....
KNOW what you are doing!  There is nothing wrong with wanting a family, and adopting children if you want a family.  But there are no blank slate children, and adoption is the other side of the coin of great loss. Understand that the children you bring home have had a LIFE before you! They will not appreciate you disrupting the life they know, and it IS a trauma for them!  Understand that they are not there to fulfill YOUR dream of being a parent. They didn't ask to be an orphan and they didn't ask for YOU to adopt them!  DEVOTE yourselves to them and LOVE them unconditionally no matter what.  If you cannot accept the possibility of  a child having  mental health issues , physical issues, learning disabilities, or behavior problems..... please reconsider why you want to adopt. Many parents have biological children with all of the issues mentioned above and they successfully raise their families.

So many potential parents MISS OUT on the BLESSING  because of the fear of a special needs child.  They walk away or decline a referral because that referral does not match their dream of a family.  NO CHILD can meet the unrealistic dream that some have, nor SHOULD they be obligated to.  I have often looked in the mirror and asked myself, "Why would my child want ME to be their mother?" "Does my reflection give a child acceptance? Is my demeanor loving?" (I am not talking about beauty)  Frown in the mirror, smile in the mirror, show a loving face in the mirror and an angry face in the mirror. Our children sense and see what is in our hearts.

God does not give us children to make our lives smooth. He does not give us children to make us look good.  Many of us are surprised by the struggle parenthood brings, but parenthood is God's design. HE designed  for us to relate through family. And HE is the perfect example of what we as parents should be; ever patient, ever kind, long suffering, full of mercy and grace, justice and holiness. And we CANNOT do that on our own. We need the Lord and the Holy Spirit to indwell us each and every moment of every day.

God has given us a love to share.  He has given us a love for our children before they were our children.  Our love for  the beautiful picture of adoption is rooted in the fact that GOD adopted and RESCUED US! We were the poor and naked and distraught and cast out, and we didn't even know it.  Yet, he dragged us out of our fog into His marvelous light.

  All my little fruitful vines. :)

Photo Listing

I just added a widget that is not quite working yet. :)  I have to be authorized first. (I am glad they are being careful)  But when it works, it will show listings of Children within the U.S. Foster Care System that are available for adoption!

There are MANY children here, that need homes.  You can click on the photos and read about the children.  I want to add that in the U.S., there is a LOT of information about emotional needs, educational needs etc.  I read those and take note, but also know that things can wind up in a child's report based upon opinion. 
In foreign countries, they don't really write any of this stuff into a record.  So, everybody is surprised when a child comes home with emotional needs that were beyond what they were prepared for.

ALL CHILDREN who enter foster care, or an orphanage are there due to abuse, neglect or both.  ALL of them will have emotional scars and needs that go beyond the typical experience of a child born into a family that is loved and nurtured from day one.

But that DOES NOT MEAN that a child cannot heal, succeed, or FLOURISH!  We have 4 daughters from 4 VERY DIFFERENT backgrounds, all with their own stories and histories.

For those of you who were just entering the process for Russia, which is now closed down, please consider a child that is already here, already speaks English and is also waiting for a home with Parents like you!

Let me also mention the benefits of adopting older children AND especially SIBLING GROUPS.
Older children are wonderful.  Yes, they have had a life before you... but one of the benefits is that they are old enough to TALK about it, or tell you about it!  If you are older, like us, an older child would fit in perfectly. :) 
Older Children  WANT a mother and a father just like babies do.  They long to be cherished like any other person would.  

They deserve a permanent, loving, home too!
If you know of a waiting child in foster care, you can click HERE to add them to the list.
There is a lot of unnecessary FEAR that drives people away from the foster care system in America.
There is no question that changes need to be made to make things easier and less confusing, and to clear up who is available for adoption and who isn't.
Until a child has been CLEARED.... YOU CANNOT count on that child being your child.
All court documents must be correct, and nothing left undone.

Our three girls, adopted here in the United States (one foster care, two private through disruption)
had to go through a VERY thorough paperwork process and it takes TIME.  Anna was with us 10 months before her adoption was finalized, Sarah 6 and Alli  just 3. It depends upon the State in which you adopt and how backed up the system is.

Also, there are many groups for support within the Foster Care System. We still get invited to groups in Oklahoma where Anna is from. :)  Take classes and USE the tools given to educate yourself on the joys and challenges of adoption.

So, as soon as this widget is approved, please consider each child and pray for them and for their future parent, who could very well be YOU! :)

April Fool's Fun

April Fool's day was pretty fun around here. :)
I asked Erika to cut my hair for Spring/Summer.  It was layered and I wanted it to return to all one length. 
When Erika got ready to trim my hair, Miss Alli was very interested in what we were doing. We told her that Erika was going to trim 1 inch.....
And Alli saw THIS:

After the first cut you should have seen her face! LOL
She said, "Mama, that is NO INCH!"    SHE IS CUTTING A LOT MORE! She resorted to showing it to me and taking the picture above; and I said, "Yea, April Fools! You can't trick me! :)
She got out a ruler and measured 12 inches!  MAMA! I can't believe it! I was joking with her:  Where'd you get that hair??  That couldn't be mine!

In the end, we broke the news to her:  APRIL FOOLS! and told her I  had asked Erika to trim my hair. 
She said that was the best April Fools Ever! :)

HAPPY MONDAY! TIME FOR SOME SPRING CHANGES!

Besides teaching school and vacuuming my bedroom floor, I am going to try once again to tackle THIS SEWING MACHINE!

What is WRONG with me?  I have never mastered sewing, because of being  "Domestically Challenged!"  There is a  love hate relationship with my sewing machine and it was turned  over to the girls a couple of years ago, then Alli came  home and it needed to be put away for a while. 
We have now gotten it back out.  AND.... the fabric store was having a huge pattern sale.  We found patterns for a dollar!  GOOD ONES!

When we got home, Mike said, "Why don't you make your own patterns?"  He forgot.... I have not learned how.  BUT.... there is always YOU TUBE, and this very nice lady at the fabric store who knew that I obviously had NO CLUE what I was doing.   She gave me her phone number. LOL

We HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING regarding clothing for the girls.  I am frustrated with what is available in the stores, the expensive prices and then the "picky factor". 

Between all of us, I bet we can come up with a few cute outfits for summer.  Simple shorts and tops.  Of course I still remember the last one hour pattern I tried to sew took me FOUR hours and then I collapsed in a pile of (amusing to other's) tears.

So I'm ready to try again.  Between Erika and You tube.... I might learn a new trick. :)

HE IS RISEN INDEED!

I wrote about my thoughts about what happened INBETWEEN Christ's death and resurrection here.
TODAY, I am THRILLED to write about the RESURRECTION!

I can't imagine how confused and hurt I would have been long ago, during that DARK time between the Death of Christ and His Resurrection.

But JOY DID COME in the morning.  Jesus Christ, AS HE SAID HE WOULD, was RISEN from the DEAD.... Not just his Spirit.... His ENTIRE PHYSICAL body! He AROSE!
God RAISED HIM.  He CONQUERED DEATH AND SIN.... and REDEEMED US.

The RESURRECTION, the BODILY resurrection is VERY IMPORTANT , NECESSARY to Christianity!
The FACT that Jesus was the Christ, the HOLY ONE, EQUAL to GOD..."I and my Father are ONE"....
That HE WAS SINLESS, and therefore the FINAL AND COMPLETE sacrifice for sin.... is the Gospel in a nutshell. 
We SINNED, GOD REDEEMED.  WE GET WHAT WE DO NOT DESERVE, because of CHRIST!

The Disciples.... What happened to them? They were scared and scattered.  Oh, they did come together again.  Jesus Christ appeared to them, ate with them and visited with them for a time.
He commissioned them.  And EACH ONE OF THEM... WENT TO THEIR DEATH PROCLAIMING JESUS CHRIST AS KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
IF IT WERE NOT TRUE, why would those scared men, not have just gone back to normal life? Why did they go from RUNNING, to willing to DIE for the CAUSE of CHRIST?

Jesus Christ can NOT be a "good teacher" or a "good prophet" if what he said was not true!
He was either GOD, the SAVIOR, or a LIAR....

You cannot say somebody who is not honest is a "good teacher". 

I believe He was the Savior, the Messiah, and I KNOW this to be true, because He has changed my life inside and out!
The disciples OBVIOUSLY knew it was true, as they went to their deaths declaring it so.
The Apostle Paul, who wrote a good amount of the New Testament KNEW it was true, when he was confronted by Christ. "Saul, why are you persecuting me?"
Saul was KILLING CHRISTIANS! After his encounter with Jesus Christ, He became a follower of Jesus and also became a Martyr, eventually.

Jesus IS REAL. He is RISEN.. AND He is coming again!

What About Them???

It has been 4 years since we last visited Ukraine.  I remember the little boy sitting with the lady in blue the most.
I remembered him when we went to get Erika 2 years before. He was so sweet.  When we came back, he remembered us, and He remembered Erika.
He sat next to me and carefully went through each page of the photo album we brought, carefully looking at Erika and smiling. 
And then, the tears began to flow.  His little tears captured my heart and will forever be there.
There was NOTHING I could do for this little one, other than to comfort him for the moment.
He was a "social orphan". He was not available for adoption, but he was STUCK, just like many of the children are.
I do not know what he was thinking. Was he thinking "I miss My Mama?"  Or was he crying tears of Joy for Erika.  I don't know. I just know they were sincere.

And then, there was little Igor.  He is the little boy in the Blue, who also captured my heart.  He has the same type of cerebral Palsy as our Timothy, (spastic diplegia) and he LOOKED SO MUCH LIKE OUR SON did at that age.
Of course this little boy was suffering being in the orphanage. He sounded so cute speaking with his little Russian voice.... But he was saying with a cute smile, "I want to grab your glasses and break them!"  He tried a few times to do just that.... But we smiled and redirected him. 
Poor Igor.  I FEAR for where he is today.  He is no longer a baby in the baby house. Is he one of the Lost Boys in Ukraine who is to rot forever in a mental institution for the crime of being born different?
I pray that somebody was able to bring Igor home. He desperately needed a family, as ALL these children did!
When I think about them, I pray for them.

I do not know ANYBODY who has gone overseas to adopt , who has not been affected deeply, by the  little ones left behind.
Their little eyes will always be with  you. They are in your dreams.  They are living human beings with no hope, no future....
BUT GOD.....

I pray that wherever they are.... they HEAR the Gospel.  I pray that those in their own country will reach out to them and bring them comfort and love.

And I pray for their future families, that they will LOVE THEM with an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that they so deserve!

So What About The Disciples??

Jesus was arrested from the Garden of Gethsemane, where Judas betrayed him with a Kiss.  There were about 1,000 soldiers who came to arrest ONE UNARMED MAN!

THE DISCIPLES FLED!  Yes, even Peter, who said he would DIE for Christ; the same guy who cut off the soldiers ear and Christ had to put it back and heal it..... FLED....

He followed close by and people recognized him.  He denied he ever knew Christ in no uncertain terms, even CURSING at the ones to exposed him!

Then the cock crowed.... and he was reminded of what Christ had told him.  He wept bitterly.

The LORD, the MASTER lay COLD AND DEAD in a borrowed tomb, provided by Joseph of Aramathia.

There must have been so much confusion!  There were so many things that happened: The dead raised, the blind were given sight, the deaf had their hearing restored, the crippled walked, lives were changed, RADICALLY!  There was NOTHING quiet about Jesus.  He was  a RADICAL CHANGER OF LIFE and all who came in contact with him knew it!

He had the words of Eternal life, yet there He lay, in a tomb.  He was beaten beyond recognition, his beard ripped out, he was exposed as a common criminal, nailed to a wooden cross and left to suffocate in agony.
YET even in that state...... He forgave.  He forgave those who sneered and jeered at him and those who hated him, despised him; He loved.

The Physical PUNISHMENT was not even the worst part.  He who KNEW NO SIN, BECAME SIN FOR US.  He didn't just die for present day or past day sin. He died for the sin of ALL mankind, taking it ALL upon himself ALL AT ONE TIME, including MY sin, YOUR sin, and our future sin.
The burden is unfathomable to even try to grasp.  Every SIN on him was layed..... EVERY.
Every murder, rape, lie, theft, sexual sin, perversion, thought.... HE BORE.

The disciples were HIDING!  They were scared, terrified.... The shepherd had been struck, and the sheep had scattered....

I contemplate what I would have thought had I been there at that time.  Would I have fled?  Would I have been inconsolable? Confused?  Angry?  Frightened?

I am sure all of those things. 

They scattered and hid..... I wonder if they were making plans to head back to their homes and resume their previous lives? 

Today I ponder what it was like to be alive during that time; the time  when Christ was dead.

A Tender Teaching Moment With Alli

Today, Good Friday, we didn't have school, we didn't have soccer, and we tried our best to stay home and reflect on what today means.  We made Easter Eggs for Sunday, and listened to music reflecting on the death and Resurrection of our Lord. 
And inbetween those moments, was a tender teaching moment.

You see, even though it is a time to reflect, we still needed to get our chores done, and prepare for the Holiday.
Miss Alli, has been getting over poison ivy all week.  She is much better, but I went ahead and tried a different ointment to see if we could speed the process.  (BTW-SEA SALT works AMAZINGLY WELL on any plant dermatitis)
It was time for her to do the dishes, and she wasn't budging.  She told me she was "dizzy" from the smell of the ointment, which was quite mild.
She told me this as she stood in the kitchen balancing on one foot with her other leg bent under her like a stork....It is her favorite position to sort of "rest or stand" in . Oh how I wish I had a picture of her standing there on one foot claiming to be dizzy. :)  I actually find that position quite comfortable too. LOL
I do not like it when a child makes excuses.  I simply said, "I'm sorry, but it is time for dishes so we can get on with the day."
She stood there.  I could see she was digging in.  Oh how I didn't want this.

I cheerfully said,"when  you are finished with the dishes, we are going to decorate eggs!"
She said, "I'm not really interested!"
Hmmm.  I found her VERY interested last year.

So I began the egg dye preparation.  And cheerfully, we put on music and some of the girls came in to start dying the eggs, without Miss Alli.
I told her cheerfully, "If you change your mind, and get the dishes done, you can join in!"
And I let it go.

I threw up some prayers for her and for me, because inside I really wanted to FORCE things.
Instead, I felt the Lord wanting me to wait.  "Wait, be patient!"

She turned around and began to do the dishes. She finished them and then came over and said, "Mama, I know I really don't deserve to do the Easter Eggs, but I would really like to!"
I gave her a hug and said, " We'll, let's get some eggs dyed!"  "Here is your design wax, and here are the colors."
She had little tears and she asked, "Mama, Why did I do that? Why Am I so STUBBORN!"
You see, Miss Alli doesn't like it when she disobeys. She really doesn't.  But sometimes, her old nature pops out; sometimes mine does too.
I was so encouraged to hear her ask such a contemplative, revealing, question about herself.

I said, "For the very reason we are Celebrating Good Friday, and Easter Sunday.  We are hopelessly lost in Sin. We rebel. We don't do what we know to be the right thing to do!  And even, when we are believer's we can fall back into sin.  We will not achieve perfection until we are in Heaven.  Until then, we are ALL flawed; me too. "

"God doesn't give us what we deserve. He gives us mercy and grace.  And just think..... Christ bore ALL of our sin on that cross so very long ago. He payed the price."

I think that was a very real lesson for our sweetie today.  I love it when the Gospel comes alive in those teaching moments.
She sincerely apologized, and the rest of our day has been one of celebration. She has had plenty of opportunity to obey things I have asked of her, and she has done it joyfully. :)
God is so patient with us.

She posed for a picture: )

Good Friday Thoughts

Good Friday is a very important day on the Christian's Calendar.  It is the day Christ, our Lord was crucified, SACRIFICED for our sin.
He was perfect. We are sinful.
He LOVED us, even when we hated Him.

Scripture says in Romans 8:15, For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”


It has never been more clear to me in my life, what this verse means, than it has  in the last nine years, since we have experienced Adoption first hand.  This verse has come to life.  "We are not slaves and we have no reason to fall back into fear.  We are SONS of the most high God.  And Son's call their father Daddy.  DADDY!


There was a HEAVY and HIGH price payed to ransom me from sin.  The death of a first born son. The death of the Creator-God who was WITH HIM from the very beginning.  He was eternally existent, yet came to DIE the death of a common criminal  to ransom mankind.

WOW...JUST WOW!


And because of His sacrifice, I am free. I am NOT a slave to sin. My girls are not SLAVES to SIN OR FEAR, but they can find HEALING at the cross of  Christ.

We have done nothing to deserve this.  It was offered freely.  Why?  Because God LOVED the World, and chose to show it in this way.  He proved His love for his own creation by redeeming us.

There is no reason for fear. With our girls, sometimes they forget !
Sometimes they step back into fear, forgetting they are part of family now.  We do the same in the family of God.  Sometimes we forget. 

God is wonderful in reminding us through His word, through others and through the Spirit..... REMEMBER who you are! I have called you!
Yes, we have been called out of darkness into His marvelous light!

So while today is about His DEATH and SUFFERING..... and it must have been unimaginable for the Holy Lamb of God to BECOME SIN for us.  He who Knew NO SIN... became sin. :(

We already know the rest of the story.  Sunday is coming..... and the GRAVE COULD NOT HOLD HIM!  

But for today and tomorrow, we contemplate the gravity of our sin, and WHO died for us, and why.

The Power of the Cross...

The gospel is powerful. 

Oh, to see the dawn
Of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

CHORUS:
This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath-
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev'ry bitter thought,
Ev'ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the vict'ry cry.

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.

FINAL CHORUS:
This, the pow'r of the cross:
Son of God-slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross. 

Getting ready for Easter.

Zoo Trip 2013

We went to the zoo with "The Adorables" today.  It was so fun!  What a beautiful day. It wasn't too hot, or too cold or too sunny or too cloudy! :)  It was perfect!

I love our zoo. :)

 Today was Will's 6th Birthday!

 You are never too old for the carousel!

 Charlie was just a bundle of excitement!

 Little Lady and her Papa. :)

 Oh the magic of seeing animals.

 This picture is one of my favorites.  He was driving for all he was worth! :)

 And Easter Egg Baby. :)

 Getting a closer view of the Mongoose.

 Marcus sat on this turtle when he was a little boy with his brothers. :)

 Camel Ride.

One last ride. :)

SO HOW DO YOU KNOW????

How do you know you are a " BCLC FAMILY"???

You hear one daughter say to another...... "My Window of Tolerance is TOTALLY SHUT!"
LOL:)

HE IS FAITHFUL

Alli, "Mama, you are a good mama! I love you but I just don't have the words to tell you how I feel."
Mama- "that was pretty good Alli! ":)

Teaching Little Ones To WHISPER....

I wrote a post <---link: a couple of days ago about giving tools for behavior to our little ones.

Today, I wanted to write a post about teaching little ones to Whisper! 

Is it possible to teach little ones to whisper?  YES! IT IS! And it comes in VERY HANDY, especially when you have a "babbling baby" or toddler. It was a fun experience to see them catch on! :)

When babies are in the 7-10 month stage and beyond, they don't just make cooing noises, but start to really babble and practice sounds.  MAMAMAMAMAMA... DADADADADA, BABABABABA!
They can get loud and not know that they are being disruptive..... especially in a church situation.

If you enjoy keeping your little one in church with you, practice teaching your little one to happily babble in "whisper!"

When the boys were little, I used to sit them on my lap each day and when they would say, "Ma Ma Ma.."  I would repeat "ma, ma, ma" in a whisper voice.  They would repeat, I would repeat and then, magically, they would whisper.

We would practice it each day..... and guess what?  If we were in a situation where they needed to be quiet, I would whisper to them and they would whisper back!

We tried it in church and it worked! :)
It is really precious seeing them barely mouth the things they needed to say with a very quiet voice. :)

I loved that time with my boys. :)  Teaching them was a happy experience. :)

Memorizing!

I wrote this post<--- (link) about new books we were starting.
They have turned out to be really good books.


We still use our mom dad and me books regularly, but the smaller books are for encouraging verses.
Today, I was thirlled to see Miss Alli sitting and memorizing her verses that she has been given.

"I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength"
"Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."
"Whatever good anyone does, he will receive back from the Lord."

and many more......

She is MEMORIZING! :)
And so are the other girls!

I am thrilled, beyond measure. :)

SPIDER MAN

Isn't he the cutest Spiderman EVER?? :)
This is our 3 year old grandson Charlie.  You can read about many of his adventures along with his brother Will and baby sister Olivia over on Ivy's blog.

This picture brought back a memory of our family when I was much younger.  Our oldest son was just 3, just like Charlie.  He too was fascinated with Spider Man, but he didn't have that fanstastic fancy shirt! LOL
He settled for capes with clothespins for Super Man, and Spidey just had to flow from his imagination.
One day, it was time for his nap.  He REALLY didn't want a nap; what three year old does!
I had put the baby down, and the other baby down and it was time for him. 
Sometimes I wish I had let him stay up just to spend extra time with him.... But he really DID need his naps.
I was walking over to scoop him up to put him to bed and he did that famous hand motion..... "HA! You're in a web!"
I could have done two things.  I could have seen his reluctance as disobedience, because he really was trying to get out of taking a nap.  Or I could buy into his playful moment, enter his world, and capture his heart.
I chose the latter. 
Pretending I was stuck in his web was actually quite fun.  He laughed with sheer glee at the sight of mommy on the floor, stuck under his powerful web. 
And after a few minutes, I broke free and he obediently went to his nap, very satisfied that he was a real Spider man for just a moment, and his web action had finally worked. :)

I'm very excited to be spending the day with the Adorables on Thursday! :)

THIS AND THAT

 I got a message asking if Miss Erika was ok after her fall at church yesterday!
I replied, "SHE FELL?"  Stinker doesn't like me to know so I won't worry.....
So this was her face when I asked about her fall.  "WHO TOLD YOU? JACK?" LOL

 Mr. Jack is so sweet.  She said he took good care of her. :)  And she was thankful. :)

This was our fruit haul from Sprouts!  :)

Giving Younger Children Tools for Behavior

I usually write about older children.  However, I spoke last night at a meeting with young parents who have both biological and adopted children, all quite young. It was just a delight to be with some awesome parents and their children!  Some of the parents in this group, I personally watched grow up from children to adults and now parents! :)

When talking for just one hour, it is impossible to share all you want to! There just isn't time to get past introducing concepts. 

So I wanted to share some detail in this post.

There were some wonderful questions.
Not spanking children does not mean not disciplining, just like spanking children does not necessarily mean they are being disciplined.
There are children who are regularly spanked who are also not disciplined.  (Of course, this was not true with the group I spoke with last night.)
Once again, I would like to repeat:  Discipline is not equal to punishment.
TRUE DISCIPLINE is going to be instructive. 

When dealing with young children, there is SO MUCH for them to learn about life. 
We can tell them what they have done wrong, and actually FORGET how to tell them what or HOW to do something right!

Instruction is so important at this age.  If we say John, "Don't hit your brother!"  But we forget to tell John what to do if his brother is really bothering him, we have only made him frustrated.
If we need to talk to John about hitting, we can then give him tools and ideas of what to do and equip him for the next time he is bothered by his brother.
This EMPOWERS him to be in control of himself and impulsivity  will be overtaken by thoughtful, planned behavior.

Let's go back to this scenario and consider a parent who uses spanking as a teaching tool.
John hit his brother.  He isn't supposed to. You have told him over and over not to.
So, John is in trouble.
You sit him down, tell him what he did wrong, and then spank him for the wrong.
He repents and is restored to relationship.

Let's try another way:
John hit his brother. You take him to the rocker, or sit him by you on the couch.  Give him a hug and tell him, "You must be very upset to have hit your brother!"  Let him tell you about it.  Listen carefully.  (even if you already know or saw what happened)

When he has calmed himself, you can talk about what happened according to John.  Then,
you can offer sympathy. I know that must have frustrated you when your brother broke your lego set apart. I know how long you worked on it.
He will feel your acceptance of his frustration. 
BUT THEN.... go a step further.
John, it isn't right to hit your brother. 
What do you think you could have done instead?
(He may not know!)  Accept that.
Offer some ideas.  Maybe you could come and get mom, and I can help?
OR  Maybe you can be sure to keep your lego creations away from your brother because he doesn't really know any better yet. He's only 3.
OR, next time brother gets into your legos, find a toy he likes and trade with him.
If you feel like you are going to hit your brother, put your hands in your pockets and come and see mama. I'll help you!
(Teaching the baby is another post) :)

EQUIP John with some ideas on how to handle his frustration.
When you see something coming up and you see John about to get frustrated again, you can simply say, "John, remember our talk!"   "Use your tools!" 
And then watch......
You will be surprised how much John REALLY learned.  It may take him some more practice, but he will be able to control himself because of his new found tools.  When he does well, give him a "HIGH FIVE"  or a "GREAT JOB JOHN!"

When John has been given the tools he needs to succeed, behaviors that you are trying to help him stop, will cease! And then new ones  will crop up. :) 
Thus is the life of a parent! :)

Another Scenario was about if it is EVER proper to swat a little one.
I would say no.  At the same time, I can understand how if a toddler were running towards the street, it might be a knee jerk reaction to rescue them and then a swat on the bottom.
HOWEVER,
Let's go back over this scenario.
If you are used to speaking in a louder volume to your toddler... "Suzy NO!"  "SUZY, I told you NO!"
Instead of using a gentle and quiet voice.... Suzy will learn to tune your voice out because that is how she is always spoken to, or spoken to often.
When she runs to the street and you say, "SUZY NO!"  She isn't going to understand the alarm in your voice, because she hears it regularly.
HOWEVER.... if you are in the HABIT of a tender, quiet voice, and she learns to trust and obey you through relationship;  when she then runs towards the street and you say "SUZY! NO!"
She'll be shocked and stop!
She will have heard the difference in your voice and it will get her attention!
It is then time for INSTRUCTION.... explaining to a toddler about the dangers of the street can be hard, but it can be done!  Explaining they could get VERY HURT... and you would be very sad, can be a good way to deter them.  But nothing deters them better than a close, watchful, eye and quick intervention,  because toddlers are just DANGEROUS little creatures! :)

*****It was mentioned that a foster family would yell and scream at kids and carry out long, enduring punishments because they couldn't "spank".****
I would like to cover this topic in my next post. :)
Stay tuned!

THE NOTE

Thank you Sarah! :)