His Mercy

"His Mercies Are New Every Morning"

A Thought

In this life we can not always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.." :) Mother Teresa

Prayer Quote

“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis

Faith

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)

Friday, November 23, 2012

A Black Friday Funny

Well.... It was funny for Erika and me. :)

I took the girls shopping this a.m. to look for a new ornament and get a few little things.  To our surprise, at 7:30 a.m. we encountered NO CROWDS!  It was just a really fun time.

Soooo, we were getting ready to check out at Hobby Lobby, but they each had to check out separately, as they didn't want each other to see what they were buying.  Erika was still making up her mind on her ornament, which was close to the front door where I could see the car.
Anna and Sarah headed out to the car to put packages away and then were going to come back in.  We have this code you can type in to unlock the car and trunk, which they did.
 While I was still in the store watching Erika pick out an ornament, I saw they were finished and so I decided to use my key pad to pop the trunk open as a joke. 
They were both a little surprised and Anna shut the trunk.    So I popped it again.  I saw her perplexed look and she shut it again while Sarah was watching.
I popped it again and they both cleaned the leaves out of the trunk and shut it again. Then Anna got into the car to wait and Sarah came in and said,
"Mama, there is something wrong with the trunk! It keeps opening!" 
"Oh really?"
"Yes, Anna is staying out there to watch our stuff!"
So I popped it again. :)
Anna patiently got out and shut it.  I waited for her to get back in and couldn't help myself.....
We were ready to leave. 
I did it again.... :) 
I couldn't believe how patient she was.

We all got out to the car.  She said, "Mama, I don't think we can go over to the mall because of the trunk, but if you want to, I'll wait in the car and watch the trunk."  What a sweet heart. :)
Then I felt kind of guilty and Erika could barely hold her laughter.

And then, I told them... it was me the whole time. 
I owed her a salad BIG TIME! :)  What a great sport!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving Day

 Gluten free relish tray.  Have you ever tried Roasted Okra?  It is wonderful and crispy!
 Yes you may! :)
 A very tired, but very happy Daddy. :)  He worked until 4:00 a.m. so he could have the day off.


 Watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade
 Getting ready to make Stuffed Mushrooms


 Love my kitchen helper

 Fresh Pecans and Roasted Cashews

 Russian Tea Cakes
 Cranberry sauce that used to be shaped like the can. :)
 White Wine
 Stuffed Mushrooms are done and were delicious!
 Garlic Mashed Potatoes
 Olive Salad
 Green Salad
 Gluten Free dinner rolls (home made)

 A very cute Natalia..... who turned 2 today!

 Potluck style
 Cheese cake and Pumpkin pie
 WheelbarrowRides....
 Tomorrow some of our older kids will be visiting. :)  

We had a lot of fun and enjoyed time with our friends, the Voronenkos. 
And poor ole' Uncle Bob couldn't make it.... He is sick in bed. :(  
GET BETTER UNCLE BOB!



HAPPY THANKSGIVING


Once Again... We are having Brisket, so our little friends can relax! :)
(This picture was taken a couple of years ago when I went out to choose a turkey to eat) LOL

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Trauma and Holidays

I have written about our children's internal clock, and how Holidays can wreak havoc on a child who has suffered much in life.
We are not strangers to Trauma, or Anniversaries.   Those anniversaries are usually not positive!  They bring back memories and our children suffer so.

Over the years, I have found that preparing our children for the holidays ahead of time, helps with the impact of the Anniversary.

Two of our daughters LOVE Holidays and Birthdays!  One of our daughter's likes the holiday time, but has so many hurtful memories.  And then one of our daughters would prefer that Holidays didn't exist.   It is a stressful time for her.

We have done our best to rewrite memories that are good and her memories of good times at Holidays are there.  But what is also there is rejection, pain and the memories of long ago.

Unfortunately, her birthday comes right at the SAME TIME!  She likes her birthday but doesn't like to make a big deal of it. 

There are positive things that can come out of the holidays.  It is a great opportunity to help our children to work through that old trauma!    While it may not be exactly how we would view holidays, they are a perfect time to work on some tough things. :)

So today we had some extra rocking chair time for a couple of girls. 
We talked about what to expect and came up with some positives! 

Now, In the middle of this rocking chair time I was baking like a crazy woman, trying to figure out a new recipe and one of our girls was telling me she wanted a new room mate! LOL
One minute she was playing peacefully and the next she was full of angst.
The room mate request signaled to me a need for a rocking chair experience. 
THAT is when we as parents drop EVERYTHING and focus. It was time to put the baking aside for somebody WAY more important that a perfect pie.

But poor Alli was just so sad that she will not be able to see her other brother and sister.  She was mournfully blaming herself.... "It is all my fault because I had a bad attitude".  :(
And then I had to carefully work through THAT minefield and tell her NO! It was NOT ALL your fault... HOWEVER, you DID have behaviors that were not appropriate. 
But parents normally don't send their kids away like that.  THAT is NOT your fault!
She went on to say, "I had NO IDEA they would do that!" 
I told her I'm GLAD you had NO idea! Because it isn't normal!
"You had those same behaviors when you came here, and we worked through them, right?"
She smiled and said tearfully, "Thank you for keeping me mommy!"
That broke my heart. :(

I pray that some day when her siblings are older, that they will be able to reconnect.  But for now, that is just not possible.

I reassured her at the same time that I believe she is where she belongs.  She agreed and said something very profound.... "Mama, I don't think I could have healed if I hadn't come here."
And then I got the biggest hug ever... and a big smile....
It was a sweet time. :)

I hugged our other girl and rocked her after that.  And we talked all about the plans for the weekend.  She managed some sweet snuggles, I love you's and smiles. :)

I took one of our girls out and talked about what the plans were for the weekend.  We also joked that when she was older, she just might spend Holidays camping or on a cruise! LOL  She loved that idea.

It is really important for us to accept our children where they are.  There is no moral dilemma with being stressed by Holidays.
We have a huge family, and it can be stressful for one of our daughters in particular. At the same time, she really does enjoy the time, just in smaller bites. :)
She LOVES her little nephews and nieces and and can be found entertaining them.
And then.... she'll slip off to read or write.... and that is OK!

Do not let relatives pass judgment on your children.  Encourage your children to be polite and kind, but don't force them to be fake.
Things are much more peaceful that way.

Everybody is tucked in and the last of the baking is going on......
Praying for those of you who's children suffer during the Holidays.

Cheese Cake Step By Step

The recipe for this is here:

 This is the Pecan crust.  I put it in the spring form pan first.

Next, I beat the eggs until very yellow and frothy.
Now I add creme cheese one package at a time and blend until smoothe.
Add all the other ingredients except whipping creme
This is when whipping creme is added, but you only stir just until it is well blended.    NOTE: I omitted the heavy whipping creme this time to see If I can have a denser cheesecake.
 Somebody is waiting for a beater to lick. :)

 Now I spoon the mixture onto the pecan mixture in the pan.






 Place in middle rack of 350 degree preheated oven.  Place a pan of water under the cheesecake.
This is what it looks like when it first comes out of the oven.  It will settle down and cool and then you have to make it get cold! 
I'll take a picture of it tomorrow before we eat it. :)
HERE IT IS! :)

It was wonderful..... I tweaked the recipe and it turned out great...I'll change the recipe to reflect my tweaking. :)

Servanthood

"Sister let me be your servant, let me be as Christ to you. Pray that I will have the grace to let you be my servant too."

I love catching the girls taking joy in serving each other. 
Anna traded chores with Erika because it is harder for Erika to do this certain chore. 
Alli washed Erika's hair for her..... and when Sarah came in the house with mud on her foot, (somebody didn't wear their shoes outside) all over Anna's newly cleaned floor, Alli jumped into action and cleaned her sister's foot off.

Teaching Children Discernment

It is a LOT EASIER to just tell our children what they can read instead of teaching them discernment.
In the short term, we have no worries and our children are protected from books that we would deem unsuitable.

However, in the LONG TERM, this does NOT teach our children to be "self discerning" or teach them "self discipline".  Not allowing them to have these teachable moments can cripple them later.
 The girls go to the local library on a regular basis and read up a storm.  Anna and Sarah read ALL THE TIME.   I have MANY, MANY good books here, and they read them too, but it is just fun to go and check out books at the Library.

As the girls have gotten older, they have developed certain reading tastes and if I notice they are gravitating towards just one thing, I might make suggestions to try something new.  They are always willing! 

We have had many conversations about discerning reading material and what to do if you find a book that is not suitable.

A good litmus test of a book is the quality of the writing, combined with the content of the book.  Is the book uplifting?  Is the book teaching any kind of value?  ANY KIND?  Or is it just mind candy?

Of course the books I like for them to read show true values in life, honesty, integrity, and have a wonderful life solution.  There are also mysteries that are fun, and good always wins over evil.


THAT SAID:  We had an experience that I would like to share.   Sarah brought a book over to show me that looked like it was from a series she had read before, but a different title.  I didn't look at it very carefully and she didn't either, but she checked it out.

She loves mysteries and Nancy Drew type books.  So she was excited to start this book. 
She began to read it and didn't say much about it.  Daddy got up this a.m. and saw it on the table and began to read a little in it.   He asked, "Mom, have you read this?" 
I was busy cooking breakfast and said, "No, what is it?"

He began to read a most horrific scene of a child being dragged to a basement where there was blood, BY HIS PARENTS, who had his teeth ripped out so they could purchase more gin!  REALLY?
This is a CHILDREN'S BOOK??? This was in the CHILDREN'S section of the library!

We asked Sarah if she had seen that and she said she had.  Did you think that is something to keep reading?  She said she didn't think so, but was curious.  She was hoping for a better part and there would be a rescue, but nothing had happened. 

We went to the middle and back of the book and found even more awful things.  By then, I was feeling very badly for her because she didn't know.  And honestly, I didn't know there could be such DARKNESS out there targeted at children.
I guess I must be naive in thinking adults intend for children to read life giving, healthy books that teach virtue and goodness and love for each other.

This book was totally empty of anything like that.

Together we looked up the author to find only 1 paragraph available.  She was "fascinated with Macrabe since seeing a ghost as a child and ever since has been fascinated"..... She lives in a haunted house in Kent England where she displays a dismembered hand on her mantle.
YIKES!
BTW- her picture is lovely, so "normal" looking.

So then, as we researched a little more, we asked Sarah, "do you want to fill your mind with writings from this person?  Do you think this would be a good idea?   Of course her answer was no, and that she had no idea! 
Poor girl!  I apologized to her too because I had no idea either!

But we all learned something!  Don't judge a book by it's cover! 


The name of the book was "The Black Book of Secrets"....by F.E. Higgins.

I am thankful for my girls hearts that want what is good. I am thankful that they also love to read and do NOT want to read trash.  And I am thankful that they are learning to discern.


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Why Am I Thankful?

OH MY!  Just let me tell you why!!!!
I am thankful, SO VERY THANKFUL, for each of the hard times and difficult situations I faced as a child, a young person, a young adult and a young mother.  Things didn't make any sense.... and I had to trust the Lord, that He was good, and that HE knew! 

HE DID KNOW!  He was using the very best way, to prepare me for the LIFE He had chosen for me.

Had I not been through some of the things I went through as a kid, I wouldn't have been able to relate to my girls or my boys as well. 
Had I not had struggles, I wouldn't have been able to understand another's struggles.

Had our son not been born with severe disabilities, I would not have been as open to "severe disabilities" when we brought the girls home.

Had I not suffered extreme rejection, I wouldn't have understood how it felt to be so  rejected.

Had I not struggled in learning, I wouldn't have been able to understand how frustrating it is to not be able to understand.

Had I not received the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE of a Savior.... I would not have understood unconditional love.

I am SO VERY THANKFUL for my life.  I am so full of joy right now.  The JOY of the LORD is my strength.

I am a mom to 8 children, 11 grand children, and a FANTASTIC husband.  I am blessed beyond measure. 
In the dark times of my life, I was being blessed without measure but I couldn't see it.  I didn't understand it was for my good!
Now I do.....and I am overwhelmed with gratefulness! 
To the Only One... Our God and Father be glory and honor and praise!

Random fun pics of the day..... Girlies are officially on Vacation! YEA!
Let the Baking Begin!
  Alli trying to figure out how to get the package open.  This recipe should be interesting......
She said, "Is this 1/4 of a cup?  She had measured 1 1/4 cup. :)  Glad we caught it!
 Sarah creating something very mysterious!
 Erika  just looking very pretty as usual. :)  Our brisket is thawing...... :)
Anna, finishing up her writing for the evening. :)

Monday, November 19, 2012

Special Needs Kids and Reading for Enjoyment : The Importance of Crawling!

This is partially about me. I am a little trepidatious to write it....

When I was a child, I am embarrassed to say, I LOATHED reading.  I had such trouble comprehending. I was a "good reader", meaning ORALLY, I could read perfectly. I just couldn't process what I had read. Consequently, trying to do chapter questions in a history book, or in a chapter book was torture, all through school. 

It would take me hours to do homework, and many times, I would just flat out get a bad grade after studying so very hard. 
I would spend hours weeping over math. My parents could not help as they did not have strong educations and were not encouraged to finish school.
My mother went to the 10th grade and my father went to the 6th grade.
In spite of their lacking in education, which was not uncommon for that time period, they did accomplished, paying bills, raising a family and working hard even though there were many hardships.
We moved a lot, so we never had a "history" for teachers to follow and help. 
I went to numerous schools, many times in the middle of the year.  I went to 3 different 6th grades and numerous other schools in other grades. 
I was a good oral learner and I was good at writing papers.  Book work however, or math were my down fall.
I used to go to the library because everybody said reading "Little Women" or "Little House on the Prarie" were books I'd enjoy!  I would check them out and couldn't get past the first page.
In 6th grade I was still reading  Dr. Seuss's  "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish" or "Green Eggs and Ham". 
I would check books out all the time, because that is what you are supposed to do. But I never read them.  I would just turn them back in.

My mom used to tell the story of how I never crawled as a baby.  She said  I rolled or scooted, but never crawled.
I am also left handed.
VERY LEFT HANDED! :)
There were these home movies of me as a baby taking my spoon in my left hand, my mother putting it into my right hand, and me putting it back into my left hand, getting frustrated when she tried to repeat the process.

By all accounts today, I would have been considered having learning differences and I am sure would have been placed in a special class in today's system. 

What happened to me later, after not finishing college because I just wasn't smart enough.... or so I thought, was nothing short of an accidental miracle. :)

I was 18 and newly married, my husband was a HUGE reader. I could never understand why book stores existed, but he loved them.  We would go to the mall and he would go into those awful places and READ and EXPLORE! I just didn't get it.  I would wander around looking at all the titles and be soooo ready to leave! 

When our first son was born, I was 20.  I began  to read things about children, and I was interested enough that I could understand what I was reading. 
I was also looking at cook books a lot....Like I said,  I could READ, I just had a hard time with comprehension.

When our son started crawling, I would crawl around with him.  We would have the funnest time having crawl races and playing peekaboo all over the house!  I think I crawled at least an hour or two a day!
Then came the next son, and the next and the next.....
I loved playing with my boys.  I was 24 when our 4th son was born.  I had been crawling for 4 years on a regular basis!
Somewhere during that time, I started reading the news paper, and then, magazines, and then everything I could get my hands on; especially my bible.

An entire world of books and reading began to open up!   I didn't quite understand what had happened, but I was so happy to be able to be like everybody else who enjoyed a good book!

Then, I came across an article in the news paper. It was all about the effects crawling had on reading.
A study had been done. Adults who had not crawled as babies were encouraged to crawl 15 or 20 minutes a day and they showed improvement in reading skills. 

Suddenly, I realized what had happened.  I cured myself unintentionally! LOL   All those years of crawling helped my brain develop the pathways that allowed my left and right brain to communicate better and I could READ! I could COMPREHEND!  I also found out, I was not dumb. 
I used to overhear things like, "She is not as smart as her sister", or "You are like me!"

So, I made up for lost time, and being a good oral learner and now a good reader helped me gain knowledge that I didn't have before.
 By 1991  I was working in the school system in the special ed department. My heart went out to those kids who were sitting there struggling just like I used to do.
I mentioned to somebody the crawling thing and was brushed off as having no right to an opinion; after all, I didn't have a PHD.  I could VERY CLEARLY see that what was being used for these students was not ever going to work unless they got to the root of the problem.
Of course I understand that not every reason for reading problems is the same.... but exercising the brain cannot hurt!
We had dyslexia, (which I think fits me, but I am not officially diagnosed) and brain damage due to a stroke at 16 days old.
The schools were saying that our second son could not learn.  He had AMBITION.... and I felt so for him. 
I also watched as teachers berated the children who struggled, didn't treat them with respect and made fun of them in the lunch room.  I listened as parents would walk out of an IEP and then the teachers would mock them.  IT WAS AWFUL!
(THIS IS NOT a broad brushed swipe against teachers... it was a real experience that I had in the particular school district we were in. I am sure there are wonderful teachers out there.)

It became very apparent that we were going to have to pull out of the schools if some of our boys were going to learn.
It was a scary decision, but I understood how I learned and it wasn't through pressure and constant remedial reading classes!
Thus began our life style change.  Everybody was home and some were very wounded from the school experience, just like I had been.

I began to tell the guys, you are smart! You can learn! Of COURSE YOU CAN LEARN! If I can, you can!
We went back to the very basics with two of them, and started all over again; because if your foundation is shaky, it WILL fail!  May as well get the foundation FIXED before you try to build upon it!

ANY LEARNING A CHILD DOES IS  MOVING FORWARD and should be celebrated no matter how small!
The results were:  Our boys learned! They not only learned to read, but went on to get advanced degrees in College!  Even our son who was written off as "retarded" and "handicapped", worked diligently to study and learn. Once he got the learning bug, he studied from the time he got up until he went to bed at night.....with JOY.  He was so thankful he could learn! 
He now works in the public school system.  He was teaching special ed but now runs the testing center at his school.

Fast forward once again to the girls!   (this is long because I have had a long life!) LOL

Each of them has had their own learning difficulties, due to early neglect, alcohol/drug exposure, brain trauma, and INTERNATIONAL adoption.... Having to learn a new language is HARD. In one case, she had to learn TWO new languages in a short time and had forgotten her first language. :(
I cannot imagine the frustration!   Well, I can. :)

Each of the girls has learned to enjoy reading to a degree.  Anna and Sarah LOVE TO READ. They devour books continually.  They are well known at the local library! :)
Erika reads well, but prefers to knit.  Erika was unable to crawl because of her disabilities.  I have been looking into brain exercises that would accomplish the same effects as crawling.  We need to implement them into our schedule!

Miss Alli could not read hardly at all when she first came home.  She was also very aware of being "behind".  Trying to convince her to go back to the beginning was a task, but we did it. :)
And it has payed off! 
She too, like I did as a child,  would go to the library, check out books and not read them.  Not any more!
She is now reading for pleasure! YEA!  Just this a.m she was telling me all about the story she was reading and how much she was liking it.  Her questions were so cute.... I could see her imagination opening up and a whole new world is open to her now.  The wonders of traveling into a book and experiencing a whole different reality.... dragons and woods and princesses. :)

I am so thankful that the Lord gave me the experiences I had as a child and young adult.   He knew I would need this knowledge in order to make a difference in my children's lives.  :)

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Double Crusted Pecan Praline CheeseCake

I created a recipe for Pecan Praline Cheesecake.  But I tweaked it a little.....
I doubled the recipe and placed 1/2 the pecan mixture on the bottom and the other 1/2 on the top.
It had to be cooked longer.... 1 hour and 10 minutes.
This is when I took it from the oven.  It will settle back down as it cools.   Can't wait to try it at the pot luck tonight......
Right now I am having to rush the cooling in the freezer.  Yikes!