It's A Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

It is always fun when friends visit. :)

 Mike and I on our way to go shopping.... without girls!

Such A Sweet Talk

I had such a sweet talk with My Anna. 
For those who have followed this blog the last 5 years.... I have mentioned numerous times how difficult Christmas is for Miss Anna.
She was moved more than two times at Christmas time.  Of course, the most memorable time was the time she came home to us! She was so worried that Santa wouldn't know where she lived!
Of course, that was NOT the time to say, "There is No Santa"..... :)  We let her go and visit Santa and tell him her new address.
Tonight, we had a PREPARATORY talk about what to expect the next few days.
She is doing WONDERFUL!  We talked about the past and some of the reasons Christmas might be hard for her. 
She said, "Mama You know me too well!" :)

We snuggled and talked about the future.
One thing she said was that she did not realize how many times she had been moved at Christmas. Now that she is older, we can discuss these things! I LOVE the teenage years!

So, as we talked and snuggled, we discussed ways to keep ourselves  comfortable, including alone time, and visiting time. 
I LOVE my Anna! She is a wonderful girl!
As we were talking about that feeling of being moved, I reassured her once again, as I have done for 9 years, "You Ain't Going ANYWHERE!" 
And we snuggled some more. :)
I think THIS CHRISTMAS is going to be her BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! :)

OH! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!

YOU BETTER NOT POUT! YOU BETTER NOT CRY, I'M TELLING YOU WHY.....

UNCLE BOB IS COMING TO TOWN! :)

Can't wait to see him! :)

Do You Go Into Your Child's World?

One of the best ways to understand a child, is to go into their world of imagination and experience and look at things from their perspective. 
If we don't see things how they perceive or view them, we will have difficulty trying to draw them out into a more accurate picture of reality.  Once you have gone into THEIR WORLD, YOU CAN PULL THEM OUT INTO A MORE HEALTHY PLACE....  A place of Innocence and Imagination!
It happens slowly for many children who are very, very hurt. 
Connecting with them can be as simple as studying what their favorite subject is and then doing something together.  It could be taking them to the dog pound to pet and walk dogs, because they are worried about the "dogs" who have no owners.
This might give you a clue about something else they are too afraid to tell you about; being worried about children who have no parents. 
After a light hearted time of walking dogs or petting them over asking about how they got there, you can then take opportunity on the way home, or while eating ice cream or going for a walk to transfer those feelings to caring about humans, and how many children do not have parents. 

"I am so glad that you are a part of family now!  I am so glad you don't have to be alone anymore!"

And then, you can help them pray for the children that we are all haunted by; left behind in orphanages and alone.

I remember working so hard to try and get into Anna's world.  She had imaginary friends, "Holly and Sister Nothing."  I remember one of the first times it happened, she had been home just weeks and we were in the van.  She didn't like the radio station so we turned it off.  I have learned that Anna MUCH PREFERS calm and quiet to busy noise, and that is ok. 
But I decided to turn it into a game for her. 
"Well, what do you want to listen to?  And I pretended to turn the radio on and started singing. 
She wanted it turned down, so I told her to turn it down.  She caught on, and turned my volume down, then up then down.... and then she switched channels.  We had so much fun being silly and switching channels and volume, I think I even tried my hand at Spanish.  She let her guarded little heart down and her childhood innocence and joy popped out. 
That defining time gave me hope that there was a little child in there wanting to pop out and be vulnerable once again!

Don't forget in all the craziness of parenting children who have trauma backgrounds to remember,they are children, and children love to imagine and play.  If they have forgotten how, or never learned, one of the best things you can do is teach them to play.

But when you teach them, gently introduce parameters. "Oh sweetie, we only speak nicely to our dollies.  We wouldn't want anybody to say something like that to us! So we shouldn't say it to our dollie. " 
(Watching and listening is vital to catch windows into their little hearts, but do not let their hearts go unchecked)
If they are pretending, do not allow them to pretend to be a bad guy. "Good guys only! You live in a good guy zone!" 
Don't allow them to pretend to shoot a person EVER, and NEVER EVER in a video game!
"We only pretend to shoot at targets like tin cans."
If they are playing with blocks and only know how to throw them, teach them to build, stack, make a truck, make a house... "What would you like your house to look like?" 
The children may only throw them because they don't know what to do with them!
FINGER PAINTS are GREAT for kids to use eyes and hands and design things. If you mess up, you just smear it over and start again!
We have parented all of our children in this way.

One thing that has brought  me such joy over the years has been watching my children play. 
Each of our girls had to learn how to play and use their imaginations.  We started with games like Anna and I did, and then gave them dollies and blocks.   We kept their toys basic and simple, and made sure they would cause them to have to use their imaginations. 
I remember Anna had no idea how to take care of a baby doll. :(  She carried it by the foot and looked at me like "What do I do with this?" 
That was my opportunity to play with her and teach her to play.
"What is your baby's name?"  "Oh, I think she is hungry, can you feed her?"  "Watch her head, she is very tender and tiny!"  "I think she might be cold!" "Your baby is crying, you need to go and pick her up, we mustn't let babies cry!"
And then we would PLAY together.  She picked up on playing pretty quickly.
Our newest daughter Alli, who came home at 11, also did not know how to play.  Her sisters and I were able to draw her into a world of imaginary play and that healing play has been vital for her.
She was finally allowed to be a little girl.  She didn't know who she was when she came. She was lost in a sea of grief, tragedy and confusion.
When she first came home, she was talking about vampires and music groups. 
She had been told she was too old for the very first Easter Egg Hunt she had ever seen and was not allowed to participate. 
(Something she remembered when we gave her a doll that was not a barbie doll)
We made SURE she had an Easter Egg Hunt, and let her know that even Mom likes finding Easter Eggs.

She makes everybody laugh with her play now. She is VERY GOOD at creating and being in the "Olden Days", her favorite period of time.  
"Hey, let's pretend we are sisters and that we home school and we live in the country!"  LOL
But then, she adds, and everybody has to do school by oil lamp, or wear long dresses and get the eggs. She and Sarah have made paper monies and they buy and sell at a market they created on the front porch. 
All of them make movies now, and write scripts for them.  Sarah has been working on a HUGE mystery from when her friends come over. They all have clues with ribbons tied around them for a big interactive game.
It is so important for our children, who have missed much of childhood to have the opportunity to BE CHILDREN before they enter the next stage of life. 
It is a vital part of healing. 
If the idea of Playing with your child exhausts you.... think of it as cheap therapy. :)  Eventually, once they learn to play, you can be more of an observer, and they wind up playing with each other.  And then you get to joyously sit back and watch the magic of childhood.

This is one of Mike's favorite scenes from Martian Child.

It's Vacation Time!

Everybody was so excited to start vacation!  Last night it began with a Christmas Party for our church youth.  The girls had a great time.  Today, Alli slept in!  Everybody else was up and working on various projects or playing games.
Alli wasted no time starting a new project once she was up.

 Today, Alli was a dear heart and entertained a dear friend's little grand daughter for a few hours while they had their car worked on.  I was checking on her through the screen when they were outside on the porch. She was being so attentive and sweet;  entertaining little Kiera. 

Anna started the first snow flake today to send to Sandy Hook Elementary.

 Sarah tried her leg on for the first time today. She isn't quite ready, but SOON! :)  She and Erika watched a VERY OLD version of "Little Women".... I still think the best one ever done was the one from the 1990's with Susan Sarandon. 

And today I cleaned out my personal drawers! This has been a much needed thing to do for a very long time!  AND.... it didn't take that long.  I was able to donate some things to "Goodwill". 

We received a very precious letter today from our dear friend Chris Jacobsen who is no longer about to travel to bible study.  That was the highlight of my day. :)

Tonight, Erika and Daddy have a special night out.... I think the others will work on snow flakes.

I have been given a book recommendation for reading that is now on my list.
My friend said it is a MUST READ....
"Creature of the Word" the Jesus Centered Church.... by Matt Chandler.
More Snow Flakes:

If you would like to join in and send Snow Flakes to Sandy Hook Elementary School, send them here:
Here is a LINK to the details.

Carthage Flower Shop
107 N Saint Mary St, Carthage, Texas 75633

Michael Ryan's Post on CNN

 Editor's note: Michael Ryan is an assignment producer who works on the CNN.com homepage.
Here is a LINK to the post that I printed out below.
"I am not an expert on Asperger's syndrome. But I am an expert on me, and I have Asperger's.

And attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. And a bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Having all three disorders together is not unusual, my doctor says.

Like you, I get angry sometimes. And, like you, I would never think of channeling that emotion into violence.

There is no direct connection between violence and autism. None. I don't break things. I don't hit my dogs. I keep a small Tupperware container in the house to catch insects so I can transport them safely outside before my cats or wife see them. I don't disparage hunters, but I could never kill another creature. I just don't have it in me.

For the most part, I am just like you, just a bit quirky. All right, a lot quirky.

I am pedantic. I usually have no expression on my face or in my speech. I cannot look you in the eye. (I've learned to look people in the mouth or nose.) I cannot have a conversation of more than a few words with you, but I can lecture you ad nauseam on U.S. atomic bomb tests, the Cleveland Browns, beagles, Japanese society.

When you speak to me and I look away intently, I am parsing your words and running through scenarios based on your request or statement in an effort to understand you. Please bear with me.

Because I still have a deathly fear of offending someone or talking about something way off-topic, I often hold my hand over my mouth in meetings to keep from speaking. Being called on to speak is sheer terror.

And those are just some of my oddities. Your child/partner/co-worker with Asperger's has some similar peculiarities. That's why kids with Asperger's get bullied.

I was lucky. I didn't get bullied in school because I wasn't diagnosed and therefore not labeled. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 50. And when the doctors asked what course of action I wanted, I said none. I had made it that far, so I'd like to continue working it out on my own.

In fact, until today, most of my co-workers and friends didn't know I had Asperger's. So "Aspies" can grow up to have families and be productive and contributing members of society.

I cannot say this will get you through life, and some of my advice may be wrong for you. But here's what helped me:

Find a "mentor." Targeting someone to pattern my social behavior after changed my life. He was a co-worker and friend who was outgoing, popular and genuinely nice. I mimicked him for years to learn how to approach people and how to act appropriately. I'm not there yet, but I'm not an outcast. I don't think he ever knew. Thanks, Scott.

Become athletic. Yes, I know you're uncoordinated, but you can teach yourself coordination. I spent years throwing a ball against the garage, developing a throwing motion, building the ability to catch a ball and, eventually, hitting that ball. By the fifth grade, I was playing third base in schoolyard pickup games -- and I was no longer picked last. My self-esteem skyrocketed, and the tough kids accepted me.

Write. Take all those thoughts in your head and put them down on paper or a computer screen. Reread them a day, a week, a year later. Show them to someone you trust. I'll bet he or she thinks a lot of the same things. Accept your peculiarities and take advantage of those you can: the ability to focus, above-average intelligence.

Live. Be brave; get out there a bit. Take your obsessive gardening hobby and use it to socialize by checking out a gardening club or volunteer to help spruce up the neighborhood. Learn a bit of self-control, but go ahead and make mistakes. Apologize and have a laugh. "Neurotypical" people can be quite forgiving, given the chance. Bullies are more socially flawed than you are.

If you're a parent of a child with Asperger's, let your child experiment. That's how we all learn. He or she is likely quite intelligent. Let your child know you're pleased when he or she has spoken up to say "Yes, please" or "Thank you" when the situation called for it. We can be quite trying, so please be patient."
Michael Ryan

Snow Flake Drive For Sandy Hook Elementary School

Here is a LINK to the details.

Carthage Flower Shop
107 N Saint Mary St, Carthage, Texas 75633

The Carthage Flower Shop is asking families to make a special snow flake and decorate it however you like....glitter, etc.  Sign the back of your snow flake or send an encouraging message.

Have it to them no later than  January 7th, 2013.  All the snow flakes are going to be sent to Sandy Hook Elementary School for the opening back up of the school.

Christmas In Our Little Town

 Our little town has an annual tree lighting and parade each year.  The pictures are dark, but we had a great time.

 The town's big tree.

 The Mayor, reading a story to all the children.

 The Pavillion at the park

REJECTION, BULLYING and the VICTIM FACTOR

Once again, I would like to cite this artice, as I did in my previous post.

There is an elephant sitting in the living room and I think it needs to be discussed.
(for my foreign readers, an elephant in the living room means there is something obvious that is being avoided. Everybody knows it is there, but they don't talk about it.)

In the adoption community, there is rejection.  EVERY SINGLE CHILD who spent time in an orphanage or foster care or was abandoned at a hospital or was left on a street corner, HAS BEEN REJECTED.  EVERY. SINGLE. ONE!
Then, there are the children who are behind, WAY behind because of neglect and abuse. They are emotionally shattered when they arrive and fall further and further behind in trying to adjust to a new culture, new family, new rules, new foods and new friends. 
Do we think they don't feel that?

The stress on them is a HUGE factor.  Many are grieving and mourning loss and trying to make sense of what has happened to them, much of which makes no sense, outside of an eternal purpose.

All the while, the family they have come into, wonders why they are not thankful, why they are not happy and why they are so sullen...
And the "bullying" begins at home.

As parents of children born to us and children who have come to us at older ages through the gift of adoption, ALL of our children at one time or another have either experienced bullying or been the bully. 
I can say for sure we have had more of our fair share of bullying, and that should NOT be the "typical childhood" experience, which by the way, carries on into adulthood for those who have special needs.
Why?  Those childhood bullies grow up, and they continue to bully, and they pass their bullying on to the next generation.  Shockingly, I have witnessed it.

As parents, we need to MAKE SURE...EVERY SINGLE EFFORT if we see our child being aggressive to put a stop to it at it's very root.  If that means humbling a proud child who thinks they are the cat's meow, or can walk on water,  it must be done lovingly and gently, but it must not be ignored. 

For the child who is being bullied, I have strong opinions on this.  (go figure) :)
Bullying should not be tolerated, yet it is an epidemic in the schools.  One of the reasons we pulled out of the system was because we could NOT get the school to help in any fashion regarding bullying.
They REFUSED to tell the children to stop.  FLAT OUT REFUSED... and then a teacher joined in.
I thought it wasn't so, and was devastated for my son when I found out it was.  I listened to him and investigated and trusted his heart.  IT WAS TRUE.   AND WE LEFT.  He HAD to be protected.
There is NOTHING WRONG with protecting a tender heart that is very wounded.
I know we did the right thing, as today, my son who was so terribly sad, is a happy, married man, father, and teacher. 
He had the confidence to go right back into that system and work.  Bless His Heart :)

For children who have been the victims of rejection, neglect and abuse, it is a fine dance we dance to affirm that they were mistreated, but not allow them to accept a victim mentality.
Even with Miss Alli, who went through so much, and two failed adoptions, while we do not agree with disruption, she has had to face the truth; that her behaviors played a part in her loss.
That is a LOT for an 11 or 12 year old to deal with, but with loving support and guidance, TRUTH heals!
The other major factor in helping our children to lead healthy and productive lives despite a difficult past, is the TRUE CONCEPT OF FORGIVENESS.
If they do not forgive those who have hurt them.  They will not move from the past in a healthy manner.  
We have had many conversations with our daughters about this very issue.  If God, who is perfect, lovingly forgives us our sin, who are we to refuse to forgive?   If we refuse forgiveness, it is a form of pride and selfishness that MUST be rooted out.
We HAVE to call it what it is. 
Also, lacking forgiveness leads to one of the most difficult things to deal with of all.  Bitterness.
Bitterness eats at the soul and eventually, like a bad vine, chokes out the person you once were and were intended to be.  It causes so much pain and unnecessary evil.
DO NOT ALLOW BITTERNESS TO OVER TAKE YOU.

We can feel bad for the folks who have had a difficult life, but frankly it only continues if you feed the beast of self pity and discontent.    And that my friends is sin.
You were once an orphan, but you are an orphan no more.  You were once abused, but Praise God, you are abused no more. You were once neglected, but you are cherished!
And then..... BE THE PARENT who CHERISHES, LAVISHES LOVE, HOLDS YOUR CHILD IN HIGH REGARD, and BE THE PARENT TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH.

Slow and steady, bit by bit and stretch them to EMOTIONAL and SPIRITUAL HEALTH!

Children who have been abused and neglected CAN FLOURISH!  They do NOT need to become statistics, they need to DEFY statistics!
Parents play a HUGE ROLE IN THIS!  We ALSO are their example.  DON'T  TAKE ON THAT VICTIM  mentality yourself when things are hard!  You are teaching your children to do the same.
Our children need us to lead!  Sometimes they are blind and need us to gently and tenderly guide them to the waters of life. 

John 6:20-22...

20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said:

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.

21 c“Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied.

d“Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.

22 “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! 23 Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven;...

What a gift we can give to our children to teach them that they don't have to be a victim. They do not have to be defined by their past.  They do not have to remain less than.
CHALLENGE your children to TRY HARD! CHALLENGE THEM TO WORK HARDER!
CHALLENGE THEM TO BE HONEST AND FORGIVE THEMSELVES AND THOSE WHO HAVE HURT THEM and CHALLENGE THEM TO LOOK FORWARD TO A WONDERFUL FUTURE!

Thoughts About Connecticut

I am thankful for this article.
It has been bothering me all weekend that people are accusing mental illness, to blame for this young man's actions.
There was a woman who wrote that she was "Adam Lanza's Mother"..
It is going viral all over the internet.  While I feel sad for her, HER situation is NOT the situation of Adam Lanza, or his mother, from what anybody has said, including close relatives.

I kind of feel like every person with a mental disorder, or illness has been made suspect as the next possible mass murderer and that is just not fair.
Mental illness has run through both sides of our families, and VERY SERIOUS mental illness that is incapacitating.  Yet, our relatives were not mass murderers being held back from taking out a school room full of children! 
And then I read THIS article! And it was very balanced. :)

There were no indications that Adam Lanza acted out of a mental illness.  I did read that he was a "Goth"...I looked up "goth" and it was all about death and gore and violence.  I would more likely try to associate his behavior to that, than to having Asperger's Syndrome.
Yet, I haven't heard anything about that.... except for one small mention. Why?  Probably because we are a lot more comfortable with accusing "mental illness" as the culprit, than just plain evil.

We live in a society that doesn't like to believe that evil exists, so we rename it as "mental illness".
I know people, who are adults with "Asperger's Syndrome" and my heart feels for them right now.
They are sweet and gentle people.

While I do understand that early childhood trauma can wreak havoc on a child, that certainly does NOT mean a child will grow up to harm others.

EVIL DOES EXIST.  And outside of Christ and TRUE HEALING, anything is possible. 
Evil does not need TRAUMA to rear it's ugly head.  Evil only needs a willing participant who loves darkness, and we live in a very dark world. 
As far as mental illness, YES, there needs to be improvement. But frankly, there is no such thing as a magic pill that makes mental illness go away. It is a very complicated field, that is in it's infancy.

The solution is Christ.

A Sense of Happiness and Joy

There is this excited sense of Joy around here lately, and I am thoroughly enjoying it!  We have been listening to Christmas music, having fun decorating and watching Christmas movies.

The girls are winding down the school semester  and getting ready for Christmas and New Year's Break. 
We are all looking forward to holiday baking, shopping, playing, helping daddy in the shoppe, worshiping our Savior, celebrating His birth,  and many other things involving friends and family. :)

Of course Alli and Sarah have been working extra hard to find play time, and they have incorporated it into chores.
Cleaning the chicken coop was a time for dress up and bringing in eggs was a time for bartering. :)
Alli dressed up in a costume and found a scarf.  I told her she looked Authentically Russian!
And then she had some canned Herring to prove it. :)

Some of My Favorite People

 Charlie in all his Charlieness....

 Marcus and Will spinning the dreidel..... Can't wait to learn about this fun game. :) Hint Hint.....

Olivia just looking Olivia like.  Anna says Olivia is cute no matter what... smiling, crying..... :)
And of course the unseen Ivy, who is behind the camera! :)

Gluten Free-Nightshade Free Chex Mix

We love to have Chex mix during the holidays, but this year, after going night-shade free that was going to be rather difficult, as Worstershire sauce contains night shades. :(

So I have been experimenting for a few weeks. :)

I just used the side of the Worstershire bottle to see what they use.  Some of the ingredients I can't use because they contain night shades, but I added one to make up for the taste.

So here is what I came up with:

4 TLB black strap molasses
1/4 cup of rice vinegar
2 tsp salt (I used one because salt is a problem for me)
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp white pepper
3 TLB butter
1/2 box rice chex
1/2 box corn chex
(or just rice chex alone)
Melt butter in microwave safe dish.
Mix all ingredients except chex into large Microwave safe bowl.
Stirring well
Add chex and coat evenly!

You can cook them in the oven on a cookie sheet or in the microwave.
In the oven, the temp should be 325 and stir every 15 minutes until crispy
In the microwave,  1 min. 30 seconds, take out and stir and then repeat
about 4 times.
(it will be cruncy)

WHY!!!!

I WANT TO KNOW WHY!!!!

WHAT A TRAGEDY!  IT MAKES NO SENSE!  IT IS EVIL!  WHY WOULD A YOUNG MAN GO INTO A SCHOOL AND EXECUTE 20 CHILDREN? WHY?
WHY WOULD HE EXECUTE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER?
WHAT COULD HAPPEN IN 24 SHORT YEARS TO BRING SOMEBODY TO THIS?
WHERE WAS HIS CONSCIENCE?  WHERE WAS HIS HEART? COMPASSION?
IT TAKES TIME TO SHOOT THAT MANY PEOPLE! 
OH LORD, WHAT HAVE WE COME TO?
JOHN 3:19-20
19And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. 20For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.

My heart goes out those moms and dads who have lost their babies,  to the children who have lost parents, and to the husbands and wives who have lost spouses.  What a terrible TERRIBLE tragedy!

A friend posted this quote on facebook.
"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world." (Fred Rogers)

I miss Mr. Rogers.

A Peek At The Past

This was the first picture we ever saw of Erika. Papa Dima sent it to us so we could show Sarah what her friend looked like. She missed her so much.  After they saw this picture, both girls wre jumping up and down, "Let's Adopt her! Let's adopt her!"  
So we did.  :)

The girls and I were reminiscing about when Erika and Sarah first met in the airport.  Erika was shocked that Sarah couldn't speak Russian and Sarah INSISTED "I never talked like that!" LOL
We had such a great adoption experience in Ukraine, even with all the stresses that come with  International Adoption.  We were going through some of Erika's life book and I thought I'd share some of the pictures. :)
This page has a picture we found on the internet. It is the earliest picture we have of her. She was around 6.
The people at the bottom are from our church. They went to visit her before we were able to get there!  On the right, Papa Dima is getting a hug.  The bottom left, I am getting her ready to break out of the orphanage....They strip them down right in front of everybody. :(
These pictures were taken during our 10 day wait.  Her first bath.... she enjoyed it once we convinced her she wasn't going to be in trouble for taking off her braces.   She also got hold of the camera and took loads of pictures of herself. :)
These were some pictures of our trip.  The van driver stopped and purchased these lovely pastries to celebrate Erika leaving the Orphanage..... We taught her to say, "Let's blow this joint!" And she yelled it! LOL
These were taken during our travels home. I think we were all up about 26 hours straight.  She did sleep on the last leg of our trip between Atlanta and Dallas.
Here is our happy airport welcome! The girls wasted no time playing. The picture (3rd down on the left) is where Sarah insisted that she had never talked like Erika.  The top middle picture was when they first saw each other.
The middle picture of us.... yeah, we were EXHAUSTED and waiting in Atlanta for a final flight home. Erika took that one. :) 
These are just pictures after we came home of Erika settling in to her new environment.  The picture on the bottom right was Erika's first popsicle. :)

More random pictures.  The one in the middle was published in our agency's magazine. But they are no longer in existence. :(
These were of Erika's first boating experience. We had a family reunion in Oklahoma.  The top left picture, she is in the left innertube.  4 days after this picture was taken, Erika had her feet amputated.
She likes to see this picture so she can remember her feet. :)
In this video, she had no idea what she was saying.... Every time we said "Cheese" she would break out into the song we were teaching her. LOL

Special Day

Happy TWELVE -TWELVE-TWELVE!
This will not happen again in our lifetime!  Let's make it a great day! :)

Using Fear To Control

My mama bear fur was ruffled tonight.  It has been ruffled before when I have heard similar stories from my girls. 
Many of you who have adopted children from Orphanages in Eastern Europe know the routine that our children have endured.
Instead of a bedtime story and a kiss goodnight, like many children get, they were treated, terrified with HORROR MOVIES, THREATS, AND MONSTERS.

Yes, even in the baby house.... they were forced to watch scary movies. In the baby house they were told monsters would come and get them if they talked, and then the workers would terrify them. Both Erika and Sarah remember weeping and crying in terror as they were tormented by workers who were supposed to care for them.

Tonight, it was time for Alli to shut the chicken coop door.  She forgot to do it, and as we were all getting ready for bed, she remembered. She insisted that Erika go with her, to which I said, no. Erika is already ready for bed... You go ahead and do it. 
I got a flat out "NO! I WILL NOT!" 
Now this has not happened in a LONG time, and I was a little taken back! 
So my response was not as eloquent as I would have liked. :)  I said, "Ummmm YES you WILL!"
That was probably not the best way to respond.  But as I explained to her later.... "You tie my hands to change my mind when you speak in a disrespectful way!"

She did go out and I promised to watch her from the porch.  But before she went, she said, "Mama, I'm scared!" 
I reassured her I would watch. (I was already ready for bed or I would have gone with her)
So she ran and did her job.  GOOD GIRL!
When she came back, I gave her a hug and told her I love her.  And then, I said, "I didn't know you were afraid of the dark."
She said,  "I'm not!"
"I'm afraid of the movies I've seen!"  "They happened in the dark!"
"What movies?"
"Please mama, I don't want to say!"

So we snuggled.... and I told her I was sorry. I didn't know she was afraid.  I had no idea.
Another layer of onion was peeled back for more healing!

We had a discussion about what transpired and then she came to our room to snuggle before bedtime. Both daddy and I prayed with her and then I said, "Sweetie, I'd really like to know about those movies."  She had mentioned watching bad movies before, but never any details.

She told us a few of the movies they were FORCED to watch before bedtime.  They were told murderers could come to their room and get them. 

WHY, WHY , WHY do these people, whoever they are, think this is a way to treat children?
Alli was between 7 and 9 when she was introduced to this, AFTER all the trauma she endured in her home. :(  I understand that they do this in order to keep the children in bed and full of fear. :(
It is LUDICROUS!

We prayed together once again after her descriptions of the movies she was forced to watch, and asked the Lord to take those memories from her. :(

I am so thankful that tonight happened.  Once again, FEAR was the driving force behind the behavior.  I was reminded of this!  It has been quite a while since I have gotten a NO! :)
She trusted us with her fears, and told us about them, and that is HUGE!

Our sweetie went to bed and is sleeping peacefully, while I am awake, bearing her burden.

Sometimes I have readers from Eastern Europe. I pray, if any of them work with children in an orphanage, that they would think about how damaging horror movies are to children, and consider reading them a comforting bedtime story instead.

The Message

This was the message on the refrigerator this a.m. :)

Love my girl.  :)

Grand Child Number 11

He is a boy! :)  Can't wait to meet him. :)

Nine Years Today!

Anna woke up this a.m. and said, "Today it has been 9 years since I came home!"
She LOVES being in her family. :)  We reminisced about some of her memories and snuggled off an on all day. :)  Anna LOVES to snuggle. :)
She is so precious.  Tonight we took one simple picture for our day.

From 5 to 14, Our Anna has been a joy for us.  She is the first daughter who came home, and her prayers for a sister were answered in Sarah..... and then Erika, and finally Alli. 
I am so proud of her. 
Before she went to bed she said, "I'm yours forever!"
OH YES SHE IS! :)