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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Blending

No, this isn't about "blending things", but about blending families. Actually, blending the same family, but we are all spread out! We are spread out in age, situation, circumstance, and even in the churches we attend.

When we adopted our Anna, 3 out of 4 of our children were married. Our youngest son Marcus had moved home in order to save money for his upcoming marriage too. So Marcus is the only one of the 4 oldest kids who was living at home when we had a little girl in the house.

I remember him talking about cringing under the blankets early in the morning when he would hear her little foot steps headed for his room to wake him up. MAUCUS! (she couldn't pronounce her R's yet... and she was so funny. "Caful, I bwuise wike a gwape!" (that one was my favowite)

Pretty soon, Marcus married and moved out and then Sarah came, and then Erika came and then there were the surgeries, and more surgeries, and more surgeries, and locations changed and before we knew it, the girls were getting bigger and we had 4 grandchildren, 2 foster grand children, and it goes on and on and on!

I have more gray hairs than I can count now, and more lost socks.....

I have unending guilt about not spending enough time with the older kids and grand kids and being a good gramma. Yet, I'm still a mama, and can't get away very often.

Yesterday we were housebound all day because Erika's legs were sore and she couldn't walk. Today she is fine, but I wouldn't dare chance taking her out anywhere as when ever pain strikes, that is it, and I would have to carry her to the car. :)

So, trying to blend everybody together as brothers and sisters is no small feat.
I get the feeling, in reality, we are raising 2 separate families and that is how it is.

I think everybody cares very much for each other, but they are not all the same ages.
It is more like having uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews instead of brothers and sisters.

I know the guys are close and I know the girls are close, and it may be that they won't be as close with each other because they don't have the same life experiences together. They just share the same parents. And even then maybe not... the guys got the younger version of what the girls have. :)

I wonder if this is just part of having a large family.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Isn't it fun?!?

Oakie Grandfather

Melissa E. said...

Yes, I understand what you are saying. Steve's parents just adopted three girls (7,8,9) and it is funny to think of them as sisters to him. Not because we are not accepting of adoption. Of course we are! but even though we can think of the girls as daughters of his parents, it is hard to train ourselves to think of them as sisters--or even sisters in law. Maybe that will come in time?

Anyway, They are the ages of our girls, kind of, so in our minds it's easier to think of them as cousins of our kids even though they are their aunts.

You are right though, that happens in big families too. Except that usually big families don't have the age gap that a family like yours has. (although I am 18 years older than my biological baby brother and he was only three when I got married)

What kinds of things do you do that you feel are beneficial to your attempts to "blend"?

Mike and Christie said...

Melissa, that is great! :)

Does Steve's mom have a blog?

I am trying to come up with some stuff for family blending. Do you have any ideas?

While all the older daughter's in law were here last week, WE all went out to dinner, but the grand kids and little kids stayed home.

2 years ago for Father's day, a bunch of us took the train to the zoo and blended. That was pretty fun.

I'm thinking maybe a bbq lake picnic or something like that.
We have picked July 15 as our annual kid day, so I wonder if we should let the older kids in on that one, and all try to do something on or around that date.

Even if it is just 2 x's a year together and then off and on with various ones through out the year would be great.

Does Steve's mom have any ideas?

Mike and Christie said...

Ed, I know you have been there done that... any ideas?

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