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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Reality

I had to take Erika to the Doctor today as her right leg was giving her trouble. She was having so much pain we couldn't get her legs on the other day. I found the "spot" that was giving her trouble, and then made the appointment. Today, some reality set in.
She isn't going to be able to be as active as she wants to be. Not without paying a price anyway. We probably didn't NEED the appointment. She she just needed to rest because of so much activity last week.
When we do alot, she pays the price in pain. I had to turn down a really nice invitation to go to the Arboretum this week because I knew she wouldn't be able to walk that much without more issues.

This brings me back to memories with our Tim. I think we might be needing to invest in a wheel chair. I hate that. I don't know why, other than it seems like a "failure" to me. A failure on my part to fix the problem to the point she doesn't need one. But the truth is, she most likely DOES need one, at least part of the time. When we go places, shopping etc. She probably would do best to have a wheelchair.

Why am I so bothered by that? I don't really know. Maybe because it seems like "giving up?" It says, "I'm not like everybody else."

Well, the truth is: She isn't like everybody else. She is a HARD worker, but she is limited by her condition. And mama needs to "deal with it." :)

My beautiful, energetic, delightful daughter cannot do all she likes, and cannot keep up. She has special needs for rest and she can't over do it.

Lessons, lessons and more lessons.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

I feel for her and for you. Whatever is needed, you will get through that together. I just love the way you discuss things with those girls - realistically but with grace and hope and determination.

I know it's not the same but occasionally I still run into "reality" with my son who has an autism disorder. He is 9 and I keep thinking he is making strides, "fitting in" a bit more with others his age, then there is a bit of sting when we sort of get slapped with it again. This is forever. This is real. This isn't going away.

But who he is - just like who Sarah is - is beautiful and unique and, yes, hard too. Prayers for her as you decide what is best, and blessings on your dear family.

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