Thanksgiving Weekend part 4

This is dedicated to Baby Charlie....who is 16 months old now.

  We were so happy to see busy little boy hands today.  We adore our little grandsons.
We have 2 more grandsons on the East Coast that we were very much missing today.  We look forward to seeing them in the future.

We hope you all had a Wonderful Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Weekend Part 3

Timothy and Emily and Joey and Christopher came over along with Marcus and Ivy and William and Charlie....and it was a boy filled evening!

Here is the Gingerbread house the boys made.

Charlie was too young to make gingerbread houses.

 The boys really concentrated for about 5 minutes. :)

Thanksgiving Weekend Part 2

The Making of the Gingerbread House

This year the kit was a little more sophisticated

 The girlies are becoming really great at decorating!

 Erika did the front door

 Anna busy at work with the sides

 Sarah doing the back door

Anna wanted the house to look "alive"

 Putting on the finishing touches

 The Finished Product

It sure does look good!  We'll see how long it lasts! :)

The grandsons have not come over yet. I think "Black Friday" is still in full swing. :)

Thanks Giving Weekend 2010 Part 1

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble.

So Why Am I Happy?

This was a note Anna wrote to me while I was on an important phone call.  She had this urgent look on her face and looked oh so worried!
She patiently sat while I finished my call, and could RE-READ her note.
Savannah is her Barbie Doll.  She asked this a.m. if she could color her hair and I said yes.
She didn't like the color so she washed it out and thought it was all out, but it wasn't, thus, when she lined her dolls up on the couch, food coloring wound up on the couch.
She did her best to clean it up.

I can hardly notice it.... and I'm glad we didn't go for the "White Linen" look.  :)

But, now to why I am happy.  My sweet girl came to me with a HUGE problem, knowing there was the possibility of me getting upset with food coloring on the couch, and she told the truth. She didn't wait for me to see it. She didn't wait for me to ask. She was proactive and honest.

THAT, made me GLAD that it happened and very happy that she has made such progress!
and on a side note: Her spelling is improving! LOL

Isn't her face just precious! His too, but.... you know what I mean. :)

Great Job Anna!

God's Heart Created Adoption

I was thinking ALOT lately about the subject of Adoption. :)   As I was driving alone to think and clear my mind, the thought came to me, "We are ALL adopted", as believers in Christ.  We ALL have sonship, we are "joint heirs" through Jesus Christ.   GOD KNOWS and CREATED adoption!  And, GOD does NOT disrupt us.  He will not abandon us. He will NOT leave us as orphans!   

And how do WE feel?  Many times, we feel unworthy, we return to our trespasses and sin, we fail, we cry, we fight, we accuse, we act like we have Reactive Attachment Disorder, against God!  Yet, God faithfully loves us; He completely loves us, he does not waver, he does not budge, he does not REACT to our Reactions..... He waits, patiently and kindly and His kindness brings us to repentence, yet again and again. 

As an adoptive parent, I can look to God, and how kind and patient He is with me, and in turn, understand and know how I am to be with my children.  I can also, as an adoptee,  know how unworthy I feel.  I can know that  lowliness, and rejection.    I can know that I am secure in Christ.
I can know that He Holds me in His hands and will NEVER leave me or forsake me.

Oh, that I can reflect that truth to my children.  

Well It Isn't Happening

We just got word.  We will not be moving forward for THIS child.  We are sad, but rest in the Lord.

LOVE

It is so good to have the scripture wash over my heart.  This morning, our devotions were so fitting.
As we prepare for what is to happen in our family, it was so fitting to have this devotion be the one assigned for this day.  It always amazes me how God's perfection is woven into our simplest details of daily life.

Here is what we read today:  We are using the New Living Translation for our daily devotions.

1 If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth but didn't love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal.

 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything about everything, but didn't love others, what good would I be? And if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, without love I would be no good to anybody. 

 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6 It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8 Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear. 9 Now we know only a little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little! 10 But when the end comes, these special gifts will all disappear. 11 It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.

 13 There are three things that will endure -- faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love.

Verses 4 through 7 were especially concentrated on today, as we prepare for new territory.

It is so true that LOVE is a selfless act, a choice, a decision, a VERB.  God is the perfect description of Love.  We do not deserve his love, yet, He loves us.

We can do nothing to earn this type of love.  Love is a perfect gift, wrapped up in grace and mercy and clothed in joyful and pure thought and intent.  LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Smells

I have written about smells in earlier posts,  (there are 2 separate posts linked)

But the other day, I was once again surprised. I had used an Oil of Olay face wipe that I found sitting in my cabinet.  I haven't used those since we were in Ukraine 4 and a half years ago.  Erika came in to give me a hug and guess what she said! "Wow, that reminds me of how you smelled in Ukraine!"

Once again,  I am reminded that smells can trigger memories good or bad.....

If I were to go to adopt in Ukraine again,  I wouldn't wear my favorite perfume, because if that perfume were to cause a "negative" trigger, I would never be able to wear it again at home.  So, I'm glad the Oil of Olay isn't one of my favorite things. LOL
Now, this did not bring back a negative memory for her, just an association; but in some kids, it COULD have, and could have sent them into a downward spiral without explanation.  I'd be wondering what happened, and the whole time, what had happened was nothing but a "fragrance or smell" of  what was before.

I don't know why I'm typing this, but it might help somebody out there in preparation, or somebody who is already home.

I was surprised myself that when we returned to Ukraine, the smell in the orphanage caused me to nearly panic, and I felt like I had to throw up.  AND, we were JUST visiting!  I had to purposefully in my mind force myself not to react to how I was feeling inside.
It makes me wonder how it is for our children?  Do they feel the same way when they smell something familiar that reminds them of their orphanage life?

I remember talking with somebody a long time ago who had brought home two sons.  They were older boys who remembered their parents alcoholism.  When the boys saw that their new parents had wine in the house, they reacted very strongly. In fact one of the boys said a few choice words and said that his new mother would be just like his old mother.
Unfortunately, they were unwilling to remove the wine from their home to help their son transition.
The smell of it made him extremely angry.  What would have been the loving thing to do?
I think it would have been to show him that he was safe, they could have removed the wine.

That is why I say, don't wear your favorite fragrance.... it may cause a problem later on.  In fact, it might be a good idea, if you do wear perfume, to wear a very uncommon brand.
Just thinking out loud.  :)

Comic Relief part 3

We started watching Jesus of Nazareth for the Easter Holiday. It is a wonderful depiction of the Story of Christ.

Well, Jesus was born and it was time to take him to the temple for Circumcision and to be named, as a sign of the Covenant between God and man.

The girls were watching the scene and Sarah asked, "What are they doing?"
Anna said, "They are circumcising him."
Sarah asked "what is that?"

and then Erika said,
"It's when they trim their belly button!"

And it was all settled. :)


Joseph was a carpenter. Erika says, "that means he made carpets" :)

Sarah said, "Wow, that man plays a really good God". (speaking of Robert Powell) :)

Tonight I was making dinner for the family. It was time to serve, so I sent Anna out with Daddy's dinner and dinner for our employee.

She came back in and said, "Daddy is off running an errand."

I said, "Oh dear. I wish he had told me he was going, I would have saved his dinner."

In her finest accent she said, "Don't we all wish that of our men!" LOL

I couldn't stop laughing last night when

Sarah came weeping.....

"I'm so mad at ERIKA!"

I said, "Why, what happened?"

She was sobbing...."She says she needs her PRIVACY!"

So I asked, "Where is she?"

"In the Bathroom!" boo-hoo!

Well, don't you think it is normal to want privacy in the bathroom?


"She never wanted privacy before? Now she does, EVER SINCE SHE GOT BREASTS!"

"Now she doesn't want me in the bathroom with her!"

"I wish sisters didn't get breasts until they were 30 !!!!! "

I just love Sarah. :-)

So fast forward to today:
Erika and I went out for our mommy daughter date


We got back from the store and I had my super secret stash of Boston baked beans. The girls saw them and had their hands out.....

I said "You don't want these, they are BEANS!"

They still had their hands out and I said,
"Are you sure you want these? They are magic breast growing beans!" LOL

Sarah said, "I'll take 2!"
Anna said, "Give me the big ones!"


Hmmmm. :)

Today Anna said, "Mom, I know how Sarah can get over her fear of dancing in public and how I can get over my fear of public speaking!

"How Anna?"

Adopt 14 children! It would be public speaking just to ask for the bread to be passed! And Sarah would be dancing in front of all those people!

She is a smart kid. :)

The girlies are diagramming sentences.

The sentence was: Gorillas and Chimpanzees are apes.

She got it wrong, having "girlies as the subject", so I re read the sentence to her.

Her reply:

"Oh, I thought it said, "Girlies ARE chimpanzees and apes." LOL

Anna was 5 and her brother was tickling her. She couldn't pronounce her r's very well so she said, "Be Cafull, I bwuise like a gwape!"

Another time when Sarah had surgery she called the nurse button. A man answered and she said, "Who is this? I'm trying to call a girl nurse!
She didn't want to tell the man she had to go to the bathroom.

We studied the reformation recently and watched a video on Martin Luther. I quizzed the girls a couple of days later... "who was Martin Luther?"
Sarah said, "I know, I know!" He was a German, A German...... A GERMAN SHEPHERD! :)

When Anna was 5 she was taking a bath and she pointed to her chest. "I think these are going to be my breasteese.

Sarah saw her old prosthetist that she had when she was 5. He was walking down the hall and stopped her and said, "Hey Sarah, do you remember me?
She studied his face and said, yes, I think I do, but you look different. He said, "it is probably my beard!" She said, "No, you are old now."

Sarah was looking on the Calendar and noticed it is "Ash Wednesday". She asked what it was. After the explanation about what Lent is, and people "give up" certain things during this season and focus on Easter.... she said,
"I know, I'll give up school!

Today we were starting Language Arts. We were having our oral lesson and I asked "How do you look up a word in the Dictionary"?
Sarah piped up, "That's easy! You just open it up! It is full of words! :-)

The other day, Gramma sent them each a Valentine's Day Card and it was signed....
"God Loves You",
Love, Gramma and Grampa

(Erika has overheard gramma now and then say, we are all god or I am god)
Erika looked at that and said, "If Gramma thinks she is god, then why didn't she just sign it "I Love You".

You know you live in the Country when your daughter sees the price of a new skirt and says,"Gee mom! You could buy a goat for that!" :)

When Sarah was 6 she was watching "My Fair Lady" . She loved the movie. It amazes me how much she catches onto for such a young girl. (the other 2 girls lost interest and went to play in their room, Dad was asleep, and I was sort of napping, so she was watching it alone.) Well, we were at the part of the movie where the man sings "I'm Getting Married In the Morning". It is a LONG song and dance routine. After his zillionth verse about "getting married in the morning", "get me to the church on time"........

Sarah blurted out,"FOR PETES SAKE, GET TO THE CHURCH AND GET MARRIED ALREADY!" GOSH!

Cracked me up. :)

here is part one      here is part two

More Comic Relief con't.

 While we're waiting on information regarding adoption I posted this.
So here is part 2. :)

When Anna was 5, her daddy was using a pocket knife at the table. He wasn't being as safe with it as she thought he should so she said, "Don't do that daddy!" He said, "Why?"  She said, "Because you'll teach me to do it!". :)

When Sarah was 5, we were trying to explain to her why she was coming to our house. We asked her if she knew what adoption was... She said, "I think it means your sick!"

When Sarah was 6, she was getting very brown from the sun.  She woke up sobbing.  I went in and got her to rock her. When I asked, "why are you crying?"  Her reply shocked me.

She said, "I think I'm going to turn into a black woman when I grow up!"
I was a little puzzled. (she was actually afraid of black people at this point but is no longer)

So I asked, "Why do you think that?"
She said, "Well just LOOK at me! I getting darker and darker every day, AND you have never seen my REAL mother!"

So I told her, "Well, there is CERTAINLY NOTHING wrong with being a black woman, if you were to turn into one, AND, we would love you forever just the same!....
She seemed to calm down, and when she stopped doing the hiccup cry and I was about to put her back to bed,
I asked "Is there anything else on your mind?"
She said, YES!
"I'm afraid when I grow up my husband won't let me get a hamburger!"
So I said, "Well that is a very simple problem to solve!
When you grow up, before you marry, ask your future husband if he minds if you get hamburgers.... if he says yes, "don't marry him" and find somebody who will!"

She got this huge smile and gave me a big kiss and then went fast asleep.

Sarah had surgery on her leg.  In the middle of the night she was awake and having some pain.
I told her she could press the button and call her nurse and they would help her.
She pressed the button and the nurse came onto the intercom, "May I help you?"
Sarah said, "Yes! I think my leg is trying to get a head ache!"
To which I heard giggling on the intercom and then, "Ok sweetie, we'll be right there!"

Erika had outgrown her legs and her new legs were not ready. Sarah had surgery on her arm and her leg and was wearing two casts.  They both had appointments at Scottish Rite Hospital, and we only had 1 wheel chair. So Sarah was sitting on Erika's lap for the ride through the hospital.
This little kid pointed at the girls and said, "Look Mommy!"
(typically nobody notices anything around there, since most of the patients are there for similar reasons)
Sarah said rather drolly, "Wow, we're even weird for here!"  LOL

We were in a store around the same time, and with all the lifting I was having to do, I guess I was limping because my back hurt.  So, as were were walking down an aisle, I noticed this man following us.  He finally got brave and with a serious face said, "Was it an accident?"  At first I was confused and then I realized, I'm limping, Erika is in a wheel chair with no feet, Sarah has a cast on her arm and her leg and Anna is in good shape.....  I was trying to think what to say, so with a smile I just blurted out the first thing I could think of, "Oh no.. it wasn't an accident, we are like this on purpose!"
The look was priceless.....

We were in Target and this man got to staring at us. I thought he was going to follow us through that whole store.  As we entered the clothing area, we slowed down and his pace kept up..... he was looking at us from behind not watching where he was going and took out an entire rack of clothes!   Erika found that to be quite humorous.

When the boys were little I had to carry Tim a lot. (Our son has CP)
This was before the "pay at the pump convenience", so I would have to take all the kids in with me to pay for gas.  So, I was carrying Tim.  The gas station lady said,  "I think it is terrible you making your mama carry you like that!"  Our son said, "I'm crippled and I can't walk!"  The lady turned a shade of red.  Then, our little Joey who was about 3 said, "dat my brudder, he has a TERRIBLE PALSY!"
and he shook when he said Terrible!  It was so cute. :)

When our oldest son was 3,  I served him some Pea soup.  He asked what it was and I told him it was Pea soup.  He didn't want it.  He said, NO PEA SOUP mama!  I finally got him to taste it and he ate two bowls full.  After that, he said, "That was GREAT! Can we have butt soup tomorrow?"
That really freaked me out..... like I would serve him Pee! yikes!

Why is it that boys always think about guns?  When our son Marcus was little he was looking at my legs very seriously.  I asked him, "what are you thinking?"  He said, "I think your legs look like rifles!"

When Tim was 3, he was mad because I wouldn't let him do something. He sat in the middle of the floor with his arms folded and said, "I'm just gonna close my eyes so you can't see me!"

When Chuck was 5, he got a pet turtle.  It sort of stayed on our patio and in our kitchen.  I kept smelling something wierd and couldn't figure it out. I finally picked up that turtle and it was dead! Ick!
We had a little funeral for him and Chuck dictated a story in his turtles honor....
"Alex the Break Dancing Turtle".... he went on to dictate how Alex could break dance and spin on his shell...... gee I wonder what happened to Alex???

Joseph got 2 hamsters for his 5th birthday.  He brought them in with the cage one day and said, "Look mom, they do tricks!"  He moved the cage and both little furr balls flopped over.  They were doing summersaults all right, they were both deceased. UGH

When the boys were 8, 9, 10 and 12 we were having our family prayer for dinner.   Joseph, our 9 year old thanked the Lord that He and our 8 year old made it up onto the school roof and back down safely, to which everybody's eyes opened and I noticed Marcus giving Joseph the stare of "what is WRONG with you!!!!"  LOL

When Chuck was 3 he was playing in the front yard. He came in so excited! In his hand was a STIFF DEAD CROW!  He said, "Look Mommy! He's sleeping!"
Oh How we washed those little hands!

When Chuck was 2, I was pregnant with Tim.  I was showing him the book "A Child is Born".
Each page has a picture of the baby in the womb showing the development of the baby.  We looked at this book many times so he could see what was happening in mommy's tummy and why it was getting so big.  I showed him the last page, which is a baby being held up on his mommy's tummy with the umbilical cord still attached..... I asked, "So what do you think?"  He looked at the picture and said, "WOW! What a Weenie!" talking about the umbilical cord!
I couldn't stop laughing.

When Anna first came home, Marcus gave her all his old stuffed animals to play with.  She of course, had to decide if they were girls or boys.  She would sniff each one and say, "This is a girl, this is a girl, this is a girl."  She got to Marcus's favorite Teddy Bear that he used to keep in his back pack for Scout Campouts..... She took one sniff of that bear and said, "This one is a boy!" LOL

When Erika came out of her body cast they put her in a large bath. She heard the therapist on the other side of the door. He said, "I want to come in and see how she is doing!"  She protested loudly, "You may NOT come in and see my womanhood!"
I could hear him laughing, and he sent in an assistant. :)

Happy National Adoption Day

Today, our two grandsons became Official!  Joseph Enoch Minich and Christopher Timothy Minich are just adorable little guys!  Words cannot express our joy!  Congratulations to ALL!

Sarah's Scottish Rite Appt

Yesterday Sarah and I went to see the Hand Doctor.  It was a really good visit.
I had never met Dr. Ezaki.  She operated on both of Sarah's hands when she first came to the United States from Ukraine, but was with another family. 

Dr. Ezaki had obviously done her homework about the adoption disruption and re adoption, so when she came in, it was clear in her mind what Sarah's family situation was.  She was so kind and affirming.

I was so very impressed with her.  She  asked some questions I had never even thought about. Does she need any special accommodations for school. Can she write as fast as other children?  Can she type?

She was just as impressed with how well Sarah was doing.  She also asked about her lower leg (not prosthetic) because she has restrictive band syndrome and there is  a large band down there, or was.
She was just great!

Then, she asked Sarah about her little floppy finger.  She explained to her that she has a little concern that it is loose like it is, and took a great amount of time to explain that it can be relocated to a safer location. (down into the bottom part of the finger by removing the bands and pushing it down to make it secure)  She was a little concerned Sarah could catch it on something and cause damage.

Sarah said, "You mean operate on it?"  Yes, it would be a surgery and she explained it.  Sarah was so funny.  She said, "I'll have to think about that." "Besides, my friends like to play with it, and I sorta like it!"
I love it that Sarah is so comfortable in her own body and finds it to be just fine!
She is open to the idea of reshaping it, and we will let her be that guide.  I believe that her body is HERS to decide if it needs altering.  :)

So, she talked a little bit about the appointment with Daddy this a.m. and re explained in her own words what the doctor suggested.  Daddy asked, "What do you think?"  She replied, "I'm still thinking about it. "

Good for her!  I like it that she is not impulsive in her decisions.  That way when she does decide, it will be her decision and she will not have regrets.

Grace Based Parenting

This is a term that is thrown around quite abit as I read.  I was so happy to see Sally Clarkson write about it today.  AND it is just a part one! :)