I Think They Can Be Declared Healthy....PLUS

The last of the fevers are gone! Yea! We made it through the weekend and even had school today!

PLUS:

I have to say, we have had some real strides made in the Alli -Attachment, Adjustment department. :)
After learning that it is A-OK to call on mama and daddy to care for you when you are sick, and hearing from Sarah, that parents LOVE YOU...... she has just been melting. :)

But one of the biggies that happened today had to do with free time-lunch time.  Many times, she would get out of sorts if somebody picked a black and white show, like Andy Griffith or The Beverly Hillbillies to watch.... (sometimes at lunch I let them watch an episode)  Alli would not even attempt to watch something in black and white, and would retreat to her room to pout. 
But today was very different. It was raining and too cold to go outside, AND because she was getting over the flu, I didn't want her to go out.  Sarah asked to watch an Andy Griffith episode and I said yes.
Alli instantly didn't like it.  So we looked right at each other and I said, "You do know that you do not have to watch it. You can play in your room, do an art project, sit with mama, or many other things....you are NOT required to do what Sarah does, and it is OK to do something else.  She paused..... and went straight for the art cabinet and happily pulled out an art project.
YEA!
I was so proud of her! 
This afternoon after school, all 4 of them were playing spy girls. Oh my, the outfits were something else.  She quickly told daddy she was a spy so he shouldn't tell anybody where she was..... it was really cute.
He looked at me and said, "I think she likes being a kid!" LOL
I think he is right. :)

Osama Bin Laden

Big News:  He is reported to be dead.....

And now, it just begins.

I am not thrilled to see cheering.... it gives me the creeps, just like I got the creeps when I saw people cheering when the Twin Towers fell.  They just happened to be on the other side.

I can never celebrate eternal tragedy. While I am not a friend to Mr. Osama.....and I do understand he is a terrorist..... and is responsible for despicable acts....  I don't want to lower myself to those who celebrate the demise of another. 

I am glad he is gone...but somehow, I don't know that it will make much of a difference in the world.
My gut says, it may make things worse.  UGH
Just thinking out loud.

The Benfits of the FLU

It appears the Flu is paying a visit to our house.  It came upon us suddenly, as we were on our way home from a shoe shopping event.  I call it an event, because to buy shoes for 4 little girls all at the same time IS an event! :)

Alli complained that she had a head ache on the way home, and Sarah said, "I'm feeling kinda dizzy".... I started to feel dizzy too, not sure if it is sympathy flu, but there was a fever accompanying it. :)

When I took Alli's temp.... she was at 101. So, we started on fluids and I made sure she didn't have a stiff neck, just a simple head ache.  She seemed to be just fine with mild symptoms like Sarah when she went to bed.... and then, at 4:00 a.m. I woke up.... it was like an inner voice telling me, "Go Check Alli"..... I flew out of bed, and there was Alli wide awake laying on her bed. As soon as our eyes met she said, "Mama, I feel sick!"
I asked her, sweetie, "Why didn't you wake me?"  She said, "I didn't want to bother you." Poor baby....
Sarah was sleeping soundly with no fever symptoms.

So I took Alli's temp at she was at 103 plus.... so Mike and I both got to work and got her into a tepid bath to bring down her temp. She was a trooper! When she couldn't stand it anymore, we counted to 100, and then she got out and we wrapped her up to keep her from shivering.... she drank her fluids, orange juice with x tra vitamin C, and I gave her some fever reducer..... and then she drank about 3 glasses of water and then she ate a banana.....
And then..... I  told her that when our babies are sick, we usually take them to our room so we can watch them very carefully..."Would that be ok?"  She said yes....
So we placed her between us and snuggled in... by now it was 5:00 and her temp was around 99.
She had this sweet smile on her face when she fell asleep. It was a look of satisfaction, even though she was sick.
We all decided that it would be best to stay home from services today, so we wouldn't be "carrier monkeys" to whatever it is we have.....
The other girls piled in our room and we shared the story about what happened in the middle of the night.   Alli said, "I just prayed that God would help me, and HE woke up Mommy! "I didn't want to wake her. "

Then Sarah, in her best Valley Girl voice said, "Of course you should call Mommy and Daddy! They are like, Parents! That is what parents are for! They love you and take care of you! Hello! LOL

Take 2

 We all laughed at Sarah's antics..... She tried to recreate it for us, but the natural one this a.m.  was the best. :)

Alli just seemed so content this a.m. giving out lots of hugs and I love yous. :)
I hope everybody feels MUCH better tomorrow! We are still hovering between 99 and 100.

Congratulations To Prince William and Kate

They are now, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
 When we woke this a.m., I told the girlies, "A REAL Prince and Princess are getting married!"
They FLEW out of bed to go and see...For that, I owe William and Kate  and big thank you. :)
I thought the wedding was lovely, and the symbolism lovely.... the hymns picked were some of my favorite.
But THIS song, a simple song, kept pouring through my mind in watching all the festivities.



We are here, in this life,  for just a fleeting moment in comparison  with  eternity. We  are son's and daughter's of the most High.... and the Bride of Christ is being Prepared for the biggest  wedding feast in Eternity.  We should not be caught off guard... we need to have our wedding clothes on, and be prepared for the bridegroom to come.....

The Hottest Dinner Ever!

I decided to make Buffalo Chicken Wings tonight for dinner. It smelled so good.... and then..... This happened:

I guess I better stick with BBQ sauce next time.   I actually liked it. :)

Another Alli Update

Yesterday was such a great day.... and really we have had a great few weeks.  I think yesterday though, was a high light as I was seeing a very relaxed, very happy Alli, just enjoying life.
Last night, Mike and I talked and we were both prepared today for a possible regression because yesterday was sooo good. :)
But, when Alli woke this a.m., she was happy and ran into daddy's arms. We had a great morning, and a little while ago she called her other family.  It was a good call and she told them all about their antics playing Ancient Egypt.... they watched The Mummy Returns  a few weeks ago about the explorers that find the lost tomb of somebody.... and all the events that follow.... it is an action adventure type movie that is not serious, but a little scary mixed with humor.
The girls have been playing explorer ever since. :)

I loved how she was excited to tell all their adventures. When she hung up, I was walking into the kitchen and she ran into my arms and said, "I love being a kid mommy!"  :)  "I love you!"
I have this sense, that she is really realizing that she is finally home.
And she happily went back to doing her school work.

I am thinking that we have reached a new level of attachment.... for all of us.
She is just adorable. :)

David Wilkerson Killed in Car Crash | Liveblog | Christianity Today

David Wilkerson Killed in Car Crash | Liveblog | Christianity Today

I was shocked to wake up to this news.  David Wilkerson had a large impact on my life.  Our church used to have exchange services with Teen Challenge in East L.A.  I will never forget the powerful testimonies of the young people, and some older people, who were transformed by the Power of The Lord Jesus Christ.
His ministry will go on.... as it is The Lord's.  Well done good and faithful servant.


This was David Wilkerson's Last post from Yesterday:

To believe when all means fail is exceedingly pleasing to God and is most acceptable. Jesus said to Thomas, “You have believed because you have seen, but blessed are those that do believe and have not seen” (John 20:29).
Blessed are those who believe when there is no evidence of an answer to prayer—who trust beyond hope when all means have failed.
Someone has come to the place of hopelessness—the end of hope—the end of all means. A loved one is facing death and doctors give no hope. Death seems inevitable. Hope is gone. The miracle prayed for is not happening.
That is when Satan’s hordes come to attack your mind with fear, anger, overwhelming questions: “Where is your God now? You prayed until you had no tears left. You fasted. You stood on promises. You trusted.”
Blasphemous thoughts will be injected into your mind: “Prayer failed. Faith failed. Don’t quit on God—just do not trust him anymore. It doesn’t pay!”
Even questioning God’s existence will be injected into your mind. These have been the devices of Satan for centuries. Some of the godliest men and women who ever lived were under such demonic attacks.
To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”
Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail—his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word. There is no other hope in this world.
 

Sister Let Me Be Your Servant

"Sister Let Me Be Your Servant, let me be as Christ to you! Pray that I will have the grace to let you be my servant too!"

Sarah has been having pain in her stump area.  She told us on Saturday night that it was hurting a little.
I asked, "How long has it been hurting?"  4 days! FOUR DAYS!  Sarah hates to slow down and she knows pain means no dancing, climbing fences, running... pretty much all her favorite things to do.

I talked with Scottish Rite Hospital on Monday and she has an appt. for May 9th. That was the soonest they could get her in.  She was doing better, yesterday and danced her heart out.  Then, this a.m. same thing.
And then, when we went to start school. SEVERE Pain.
It appears the bone is growing and doing damage inside her leg.  It is now swollen and painful. My poor Sarah. :(
So, she is out of her leg, and on ice and advil.  The prosthetist said that he suspects her bone is causing tissue damage.... sounds painful to me.

It is hard to remember sometimes that Sarah has any special need or handicap.... but she does.
And, it slows her down..... but somehow, I am not sorry she is being slowed down a little.... these times can be great times for spiritual reflection, even if you are a kid. :)
So, now I need to think of some things to keep her busy.  This is going to be a long haul process, most likely needing surgery to correct it.
I just love my Sarah.

And, guess who stepped up to the plate to compassionately help her sister in need! She brought her water, coffee and milk, gave her hugs, and brought her a pillow for her leg..... way to go Alli! :)

 Anna and Alli prepared Sarah's bed, and then Anna lovingly, carried her to her room.
We all want our Sarah to Dance again.... but in a way.... Everybody IS Dancing! :)

How Role Play Helps

This A.M. as we were getting into our morning. Alli and Sarah wanted to dance in their new Ballet Suits.
Alli was soooo excited!  She also had this perfect plan in her head as to how everything was going to work.  Daddy was going to dance with Sarah and the music was going to be a certain way. She had it all worked out.....
and then her dancing world came crashing down.....
It wasn't as she had planned.
Daddy did a few twirls and then announced that he had to get to work.  The music was not the exact song she had wanted and then Anna wanted to read instead of take daddy's place....... her plans that were only in her mind,  as she had not shared them, were ruined, and she just couldn't handle that. Her window of tolerance was not open very far, and she went into dysregulation. It started with sitting on the floor.... then in the rocking chair. She went back into the distant stare.

We ignored for a few minutes and she went into her room. Sarah continued to dance, and she must have heard us tell her "great job Sarah"..... because she came back from her room to sit in the rocking chair.
That is when I made my move.
"Remember our talk in the van yesterday?"  yes
We switched places. Me in the rocking chair, her in my lap.
I asked her, "Are you sad that your plans didn't work out?"  Yes.

And then I said, what do you think would work to help SOME of your plans work?
She said she didn't know.
So, we did ROLE PLAY.....
"You like to act, right?"  Yes.... "Well, you get to act!  "
I asked Sarah to help, and our little actress readily agreed. :)

So Sarah put on the song and started dancing. I asked Alli, "now what can you do to change the song in a nice way?"  She didn't know.
So I told her to say to Sarah, "Sarah, this song is really hard for me to dance to, do you mind if we change it to another one?"
She did, with expression and all!  And then Sarah said, "Oh, ok!"
And they went and picked a different song.

The next step was a little harder for her to see.  Anna was in the mood to read. Alli wanted her to dance.
So I used the book I got in the mail yesterday that she knows I'm excited about reading.
I pretended to be interested in reading my book and Sarah was Alli.  We let Alli see how it isn't bad to want somebody to dance, but you cannot control what other people want to do.....My invitation for her to read my book helped her to see that it is ok to like to do different things, and it doesn't mean you don't love the other person.

Anna and Sarah had to learn this when they were little and Sarah was first home.
I distinctly remember Sarah weeping because Anna wanted her to play dollies and she wanted to ride her bike and she was afraid to tell Anna she wanted to ride her bike because then she thought Anna would think she didn't like her... and the drama went on.... LOL  They were both 6. :)


Well, Miss Alli learned a valuable lesson this a.m. and she bounced right out of her mood into a joyful attitude. She apologized and then put into practice her newly learned tool..... When she did, and Sarah said yes, to change the song, she ran to me with a big smile!  I said, "Aren't those the most powerful words!!!!"  You tried so hard to MAKE things happen and you tried to use your anger and it didn't work.... But your kind words worked like magic! :)
She was thrilled.

And here is a picture of my two little dancers. :)

Using Humor To Diffuse

I am a strong believer in using humor as a tool to diffuse a situation. :)
We had a FABULOUS day to my surprise yesterday. I fully expected some fall out from the Holiday weekend, and there was none!
It just waited for today.  I guess it was an act of mercy so mama could get rested from the weekend, and over the shock of the letter I got from the IRS requesting a bunch of information about our adoptions.
We need receipts that date back to 2005. UGH
(that is a whole different blog post) LOL

Today started out fine, and ended FANTASTIC.... it was the inbetween that I will post about tonight.

We were having a rather uneventful day, when Guess the dog started barking at a cat.  Anna went out to calm him, and Alli went out to tell Anna dogs should be allowed to bark as much as they want.
Anna tried to explain that it isn't good for dogs to bark all the time, and Alli would have none of it. She went into defense mode, even though Anna was being very kind in her responses..... Alli stormed out of the house and was "pouting".

After a few minutes I approached her and asked a question to which I got no response. Nothing, NADA.... I was being IGNORED.
So, I said very gently, "Alli, it is not ok to ignore Mama." Do you know what Ignore means?  I got the shoulder shrug.....
I brought her into the house after a little coaxing and we settled into the rocking chair.  Honestly, I didn't know what to do, as her reaction didn't make sense to me at that point.
So, after rocking a few minutes and her withdrawing into herself, I announced.... "I have no idea what to do except pray." SO I prayed out loud that God would give me wisdom.  I prayed for Alli and then, I was silent for a few minutes. We just rocked. I could feel that she was melting into me.... just in silence.
The next thing I knew, I was trying to think of a way to break the ice..... Her jaw was clenched and she looked distant and angry.   So I put my finger to her lips and spread them open and said,  "hmmm I wonder if she bites?"  She suddenly opened her mouth and pretended she was going to bite,  and then she smiled at me, making eye contact.
"You silly girl!"  She said, "Silly mama!"
And then the conversation began.... within a few moments she was diffused and breathing with me.
After that, she was ready to get back to a normal day as if nothing had happened.

About an hour later, I took her with me to the  post office... and we stopped at Sonic to get a 1/2 price drink. I figured she could talk to me then.
BOY DID SHE!
We talked about what a special time it is to be alone with mama where you can share ANYTHING!

I then asked her what goes on in her heart when she is so distant....
She shared a LOT....about her previous families and how they dealt with her anger.  She then said,  "I'm not really angry..." "I don't know what it is... but I just escape."
I think she is correct. She gets HURT when somebody other than me tries to correct her and her withdrawl is a defense mechanism.
She was actually worried once again about being loved.
Poor kid.  I told her we were going to work on facial expression and tone of voice. This is a real problem sometimes, especially for kids who come from Eastern Europe.... tone of voice sounds rude many times, yet it is unintended.
We found this to be true when we were in Ukraine:  Listening to others converse in Russian made us think everybody was mad at each other, when they weren't.
We had to work alot with Erika on Tone of voice, and now we will need to work with Alli.
She divulged that she got in trouble a LOT in her first home for the same behavior.

So I said to her..... It seems to me that punishing you will not really help. But giving you new ideas on how to deal with different situations will! She agreed heartily.
So we agreed over a Sonic coke, that we would work harder to communicate.
And when we got home, she apologized.  She also decided that it is right that guess not bark too much.

The rest of the evening was stellar. :)  She was even worried if I was ok having to dig up all those receipts for the IRS! LOL
I told her the best thing she could do for me tonight, was go to bed QUIETLY!
And she did. LOL

Dancing Girlies

Sweet Words and Bedtime Stories

"Next to God, I love you and daddy most!"....... :)
 Alli.

Last night, we started a new bedtime story.  " Robinson Crusoe. "

We Made It Through Easter Weekend! Yea!

I wrote earlier about Anniversaries here...
We had a great weekend.  Mike and I had a long talk about how to make the weekend MEMORABLE, but not over the top, not losing focus on the PURPOSE for the weekend;the resurrection of Jesus Christ !

We decided the best thing to do was keep busy!  So, on Good Friday we finished watching Jesus of Nazareth, and did some more art and painting.  We also went to the art store and purchased Alli's new Life Book.  She got to pick it out with stickers that she loved, all at 50 percent off! Yea!
We went out to an economical  lunch at Taco Bueno and then headed home. She decided to sort the life book sticker box, and that took her a few hours! Then, our regular Friday Night Pizza night was taken up with Ben Hur....
On Saturday, we went and purchased hay for the goats and feed.  We talked about Easter Baskets and Easter Egg Hunts, and Miss Alli picked out her basket.  She was Soooo excited!
 We surprised the girls with a trip to see "African Cats", which, by the way, was FABULOUS!
Everybody had a great time, and the girls dressed up with French Braided Hair. :)  So cute!
We all went to bed, and then in the a.m. it was time to get ready for Church.....but not before checking out the Easter Baskets. :)  She was sooooo excited... as were the other girlies. :)
And then we were off to church, all sugared up. :)
During Church, she whispered, "Are we really going to have an egg hunt?" Yes dear, we are.... but right now, we are at worship.... LOL  She and Erika snuggled up during the sermon.
As SOON as church was over, she was ready to go. I told her, no, we need to wait a little. Her window of tolerance was definitely lowered by now.... So I told her just a few minutes so mommy can talk, and then we'll go.
She waited and wound up having fun talking with a few new friends.
When we got home, I went and hid the eggs and the girlies changed clothes. Then, I worked on dinner while Daddy went out and took pictures.   Oh My, she was like a bull getting ready for a rodeo.... as soon as the door opened she was OFF and Running!  LOL
They were entertained with finding eggs for quite some time.... and then lunch was ready.
It was a wonderful day. She had sooooo much fun, until bedtime. 
She didn't want to go to bed. But it was TIME!
I told her that to disobey, there is no option.
So we headed to the rocking chair and within, a few minutes, she had apologized and was off to bed.
I am soooo PROUD of her!
And now, I'm going to go collapse......
Happy Resurrection Day everybody! :)

Bryan's Easter Treat

Easter Egg Hunting and Dad's Gift

 Sarah, where are your shoes???????

 Looking in the tall grass.

 Get it before the Goat gets it!

Comparing treasures

After the girls looked at their gifts this a.m.   Daddy showed his off...... I gave him "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader DVD".
Now, the girls were VERY excited about that and Sarah asked, "When are we gonna see it!!!!!"
Daddy said, "hmmmm how about Christmas Eve?"
And this was the look on her face:

LOL! :)  She said, "Are you kidding me!"  
Time shall tell! :)

HE IS RISEN!

Happy Resurrection Day!!!!

Our Twins

Alli and Sarah are both 11.  Tonight, when we went to see The African Cats, they wore their hair the same. :)  They are so close to the exact same size, they looked like twins from behind. :)
Here they are thanking Daddy for a GREAT NIGHT at the Movies! :)

As he will say: "I am one blessed Daddy!" :)

Going to See African Cats

We are taking the girlies to see this movie tonight. We sold a goat today and it covered the expense.
I think I might be even more excited than they are. :)
Review to follow....... :)

Ok.... just got back.  It was VERY well done, and simply amazing.  I give it a Fantastic!

Anniversaries

I have posted about this before, somewhere down there over the last few years. :)  But the Silent Anniversary Clock has come to visit. 
Many of you know that Holidays can be triggers for bad memories.  One thing that helps with this is keeping the children busy creating NEW memories.  Each new Holiday brings an old trauma back up to the surface, and we get to know what happened in our sweeties past,  which helps us understand them better and better.
One of the benefits of adopting older children is they can talk. :)  They can share what is on their hearts and even though they may not know why they are afraid or why they are upset, as they talk through things, all of the sudden everything fits together.

Easter Week is here and our sweetie was excited about it. She still is, but yesterday, we saw her starting to shut down a little bit.... she started talking about her first family. All of the sudden all these memories were raw and there. 
She had asked last week about an Easter Egg hunt. "Are we going to have one? Can I hunt for them?"
Yes, and yes!  Then she was quiet about it all week.  As the week has gone by, she became more anxious about it... and then yesterday:  "I didn't get to, because they said I was too old."
Ahhh.....
Now it is no crime to tell somebody they are too old for something... it may seem perfectly reasonable, UNLESS that somebody has a trauma background and may be MUCH younger than their given age.
In our sweetie's case, this is what we believe is true.
OR, it is something they KNEW to look forward to and then it was taken away because it wasn't something celebrated... each family is different.
We don't believe in Santa Clause, but when Anna came, she was VERY worried about Santa not knowing where she lived. I wasn't about to tell her there is no Santa!  That would have been a terrible thing to do. Instead, we took her to see Santa and made sure he knew where she lived; even sent a letter.  It was what she NEEDED at that time.  There is plenty of time for things to change into a more regular celebration as we CREATE new memories!

Alli is still nervous if the Easter Egg Hunt is really going to happen. She was too old last year. What will be different this year?
I told her that I am going to race her for eggs, because I want candy too! "Don't you think Mama's deserve some of that candy!"  She looked shocked! LOL

Yesterday, we took a special trip to the store to pick out her "empty" Easter basket. This will help to ease the anxiety of not knowing if it will really happen, really.  She picked out a very nice basket.
So now she KNOWS there is one, and just that simple gesture, has caused her great relief.

Today we are keeping busy with activity, and scrap booking....and tonight we will do more activity to keep her engaged....
(distracted with purpose) :)
We rearranged our pretty eggs into a more suitable jar....and so far, this a.m., it seems that she is happy and relaxed once again...now that she knows there is going to be that basket. :)

We are also CREATING NEW MEMORIES for her to grasp, so that next year, she will say, "Oh yes! I remember doing that!"

Sister Love

Alli and Erika watching Ben Hur....