Anna and Alli spent time with friends too, and we are thankful for those friends who came and picked them up for visits and swimming.
Daddy also took them on a shopping trip!
Here are a few pictures of camp this year:
The Minich Family Blog: Every Family Has A Story...Welcome To Ours
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Back From Camp
We are back! It was wonderful seeing old friends and making new friends. As always, camp was so fun!
Anna and Alli spent time with friends too, and we are thankful for those friends who came and picked them up for visits and swimming.
Daddy also took them on a shopping trip!
Here are a few pictures of camp this year:
Oh my! We had a wonderful time. : ) Glad to be back home!
Anna and Alli spent time with friends too, and we are thankful for those friends who came and picked them up for visits and swimming.
Daddy also took them on a shopping trip!
Here are a few pictures of camp this year:
Saturday, June 22, 2013
The Perfect Wisdom Of Our God
"Oh Grant Me Wisdom From Above! To Pray for Peace and Cling to Love! And teach me Humbly to recieve the sun and rain of your Sovreignty! Each strand of sorrow has a place, within this tapestry of grace. So through the trials I choose to say, Your perfect will in your perfect way! Amen!
Friday, June 21, 2013
Nurturing - Unconditional - Love
What is love anyway? Why do we love? How do we show our love to our children who have come from very difficult circumstances? And how do we explain the unexplainable? The "We love you. You are our daughter (or son), even though you were a stranger and not born to us." "We love you just as if you were!" "There is no difference!" "We love you just because you are YOU!" :)
How do you explain that? How do you live it? Is it superficial or based upon some obligatory code?
Or is it something much deeper?
In English, we only have one word for love. LOVE. But there are many different kinds of love. There is friendly, compassionate, passionate, romantic, and then the kind of love where you give up your life for another. That kind of love is called Agape. It is perfect.
1st Corinthians, which I have mentioned many times on my blog describes this kind of love in chapter 13:4: 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Certainly, nobody on this side of heaven loves "perfectly". But we have been given the best example of love, the perfect representation of true LOVE, in Christ Jesus.
The other part of this scripture, the beginning part suggests that we can "DO" things, that seeminly would be "loving", without love!
1 Corinthians chapter 13 : 1-3If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing. I like the foot note here because it gives a good sense of what the meaning is: One can do something for the "bragging rights".....
The other part of this scripture, the beginning part suggests that we can "DO" things, that seeminly would be "loving", without love!
1 Corinthians chapter 13 : 1-3If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing. I like the foot note here because it gives a good sense of what the meaning is: One can do something for the "bragging rights".....
What motivates those in the adoption community to adopt? Many different reasons of course! Because not all people are the same! Scripture is clear in many places: You can be doing a seemingly "right" thing, for all of the wrong reasons.
At the same time, God can take a mess and turn it into a miracle! :) He is in the habit of doing just that!
The only person that can truly answer the questions above are those who have chosen to adopt. And nobody should ever judge another person's motive. But all of us should be introspective!
Some may find themselves overwhelmed with the unexpected. Some may have read and read and read, but once the adoption has taken place, realize there are many tools that they need that they just do not have.
And you know what? None of these scenarios are bad. They are all real!
But what you do with the knowledge that things are harder than you thought, or that the situation is much different than you expected, or finding yourself struggling to love, can bring about clear, honest, self-discovery.
Don't like what you see?
Ask the Lord for help!
Love is a GIFT from the Lord, as is peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control! These are all gifts, or "fruits" that God gives to us.
One thing is for sure. Adoption will stretch you. It will cause you to grow! But it might tear you up and spit you out a bit, causing you to rethink all of your motives, beliefs, ideas, and even your ability to parent!
Adoption cannot be entered into lightly. It cannot be seen as a 5 year, 10 year or 18 year commitment. It is a lifetime commitment to love another person.
Love is a choice. Nurturing love is a dedicated laying down of your own life, dying to self, for another; not grudginly, but with great compassion. And honestly, I believe that is the kind of love we must have for our children.
If you do all things "right".... all the right therapies, all the right education, giving of gifts, parties, material things, but don't work on the real relationship, it is like that clanging symbol. It falls flat. There is no substance.
Our children don't need stuffmart. They don't need parties and cars.... They need US. They need our unconditional, permanent, real, genuine love.
They need our nurturing hand that reaches their heart and says, "Yes! You are loved!" "You are cherished!"
Oh people! They need to feel "cherished"!
And we need to speak this to them often! Yes, even our teens!
And especially, ESPECIALLY when they make mistakes. This love must be given and flow freely from our hearts, even when they reject it; especially when they reject it. And as our kids process the things that have happened to them, they will go through times of analysis... "Why do you love me?" "Why did you adopt me?"
These times are great opportunities to build deeper relationship and nurture further. Our older children, need our loving arms, our gentle touch, our soothing, comforting voice of acceptance and genuine love. Many of them have deep shame, or are so fragile, they can only love many times on the "surface". The deep committed love of a family scares them to death, because of past hurts. Some of these hurts will take a life time to make sense of. We can do our children a huge favor by not adding to their trauma in our own selfishness.
Love cannot, must not, be conditional! "I love you if you respond how I want you to!" "I love you when you are grateful!" "I love you because you love me and do as I say." Other than that.... forget it!
This is NOT love. And I am so very thankful that we have clarity in scripture that reveals to us what real love looks like.
As parents to teenagers who have had serious trauma backgrounds, such joy is brought into our hearts as we continue to see them flourish!
Those little hearts have opened up, and each day they open more.
Trust that is based upon truth, and a knowledge that we will not give up, ever, has driven them to new heights of genuine reciprocal love and an understanding and meaning to their own lives. There is purpose! There is hope in the future! Yes things were hard! Yes there was rejection! But there is the other side of that. Faith, hope and LOVE!
True love, never gives up. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever!
True love hopes. True love faithfully keeps the doors of communication open and is always willing to forgive. True love does not hold grudges; there is no room or time for them.
True love rejoices when our children are doing well, even if they were not doing well before. True love finds a way to nurture at every given opportunity!
If you are thinking about adopting; know that it will cost you everything. EVERYTHING; but you will lose nothing. Once you walk through the door, do not look back! You will gain everything if you walk the path of Love :)
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Stories and Truth
Today, I shared a story with the girls. It was just a made up one off the top of my head to prove a point.
There was a little girl named "Rumplestilskin". (I know, not too creative) She lived in a small village and loved to go for walks. The problem is, she was 4' 10" and had one foot that was a size 8 and the other a size 12. She always had to buy 2 pairs of shoes just so they would fit!
When she walked through town you could hear "clomp CLOMP", "clomp CLOMP".....
She walked out of town and found a beautiful mulberry tree. The Mulberries were freshly ripe and she was excited to see them! You see! She had been told that if you eat freshly ripened mulberries, something magical can happen!
She ate the berries and began to feel a tingling from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet! And then, her feet started to tingle! She closed her eyes in great excitement!
When she opened them, there were 2 beautiful size 12 feet!
So, when she walked in town from then on.... you could only hear, "CLOMP CLOMP!" "CLOMP CLOMP!"
The End.....
Now, after my story was complete, I asked each of my girls to retell my story and everybody else would listen.
Each girl retold the story, and guess what? Even though each one told the truth, and each one came up with the same story, not one of the stories was exactly as I told it! Not one!
She did have the right name, though pronounced a little differently. She did wind up being 4'10" with 2 different sized feet, and she did eat berries, but not everybody told it the same. Some had 1 berry and others said just mulberries.
Everybody said something happened, but not in the same way, and each person said her feet were the same size in the end.
The point I was trying to get across to my girls is that we all share things and we want them to be told as accurate as possible, but even if we are careful, we won't get everything perfectly. Intent of the heart to be truthful is what matters.
Even in Scripture, if you look into the gospels, the stories in each one may be told slightly different according to what each Gospel writer remembered. Just because the accounts are slighly varied, that does not make the scripture untrue! The Dead were Raised! The 5,000 were still fed! The lame still walked! The blind were given sight! Christ came and died, and was buried and He resurrected on the 3rd day!
There is harmony in the Gospels! There is harmony in Scripture!
We can have that harmony in our home when we need to recall something and each person is asked to remember what happened! Each story will have a slightly different perspective, but they will all be true.
(unlike the story I told to make the point) :)
My story went something like this:
There was a little girl named "Rumplestilskin". (I know, not too creative) She lived in a small village and loved to go for walks. The problem is, she was 4' 10" and had one foot that was a size 8 and the other a size 12. She always had to buy 2 pairs of shoes just so they would fit!
When she walked through town you could hear "clomp CLOMP", "clomp CLOMP".....
She walked out of town and found a beautiful mulberry tree. The Mulberries were freshly ripe and she was excited to see them! You see! She had been told that if you eat freshly ripened mulberries, something magical can happen!
She ate the berries and began to feel a tingling from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet! And then, her feet started to tingle! She closed her eyes in great excitement!
When she opened them, there were 2 beautiful size 12 feet!
So, when she walked in town from then on.... you could only hear, "CLOMP CLOMP!" "CLOMP CLOMP!"
The End.....
Now, after my story was complete, I asked each of my girls to retell my story and everybody else would listen.
Each girl retold the story, and guess what? Even though each one told the truth, and each one came up with the same story, not one of the stories was exactly as I told it! Not one!
She did have the right name, though pronounced a little differently. She did wind up being 4'10" with 2 different sized feet, and she did eat berries, but not everybody told it the same. Some had 1 berry and others said just mulberries.
Everybody said something happened, but not in the same way, and each person said her feet were the same size in the end.
The point I was trying to get across to my girls is that we all share things and we want them to be told as accurate as possible, but even if we are careful, we won't get everything perfectly. Intent of the heart to be truthful is what matters.
Even in Scripture, if you look into the gospels, the stories in each one may be told slightly different according to what each Gospel writer remembered. Just because the accounts are slighly varied, that does not make the scripture untrue! The Dead were Raised! The 5,000 were still fed! The lame still walked! The blind were given sight! Christ came and died, and was buried and He resurrected on the 3rd day!
There is harmony in the Gospels! There is harmony in Scripture!
We can have that harmony in our home when we need to recall something and each person is asked to remember what happened! Each story will have a slightly different perspective, but they will all be true.
(unlike the story I told to make the point) :)
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Erika's Gift FINALLY Arrived!
This has been a long, drawn out birthday for Miss Erika! :)
Her birthday was on Father's day, and we had a blast over the long weekend going to Galveston Beach.
But her main birthday gift had not arrived on time!
We decided to make her cake yesterday, but because she requested a "Chocolate Coffee Cheesecake" we cooked it yesterday and ate it today!
So here is the saga of the birthday gift! :)
I was taking a nap....
Her birthday was on Father's day, and we had a blast over the long weekend going to Galveston Beach.
But her main birthday gift had not arrived on time!
We decided to make her cake yesterday, but because she requested a "Chocolate Coffee Cheesecake" we cooked it yesterday and ate it today!
So here is the saga of the birthday gift! :)
I was taking a nap....
And it turned out to be an auto part! :) LOL
OOPS!
So yesterday, we made her cake and let it cool overnight! She wanted a Chocolate Coffee Cheese Cake which turned out rather wonderful by the way. :)
FIFTEEN CANDLES!
And then today.... ANOTHER package arrived.... I thought the box looked rather large... but hey.... we couldn't tell who it was from: SO she opened it:
Putting On Love/ Putting on Christ
You cannot fake love; not real, genuine love.
The Scripture calls us to put on love. There are more passages than I can quote or write here, that say the very same things. There are many passages that describe love. And yet, for some reason, love is not the first thing that happens in our hearts when we are offended or hurt.
I am guilty of not loving my neighbor as I should. Sometimes, difficult people come into our lives and it is very hard to put ourselves aside and just love them. It isn't natural to us.
But God....
Why is that? Why is it when we are offended, we are not overcome with love naturally?
I think it is because the Love that we are called to as Christians is not natural!
Scripture says in 1 Corinthians chapter 13:4-6:
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
There are times when I find myself struggling especially when trying to deal with a difficult situation.
I desire greatly, to operate in this kind of love! But this kind of love requires that I be surrendered over to Christ in all things!
Love causes us to give our life away! Not carelessly with no reason. But very intentionally; even when it doesn't make sense.
And when we do, oh the freeing, release we experience in the Lord. All that matters is Him.
I don't have to perform, look perfect, or worry about what others think. It only matters what God thinks. :) He already knows I am not perfect! He knows it very well. Yet, He loves me with the kind of love in which He wants me to love others!
A long time ago, I did not understand the Love that God had for me. I saw him more as a rule giver, who angrily lashed out at those who didn't instantly obey His commands.
However, I learned eventually, that I would never be able, in this lifetime to be perfect, and God already knew that. :) And He loves me in my frailty. He loves me in my imperfectness. He loves me in my feeble attempts to please Him. And the Love that I have been shown is just the beginning of my understanding of God's love.
Who can fathom it?
And as I surrender my life over to him, again and again, as Paul said, "dying daily"..... I have found a treasure that is worth seeking. I have found a life that is worth living. I have found a Savior in whom I delight.
And Oh, how He loves us.
Does that mean he does not allow trial or suffering to come into our lives? No. But He is there, each step of the way to walk us through every rough spot.
And we learn.
God, who spoke the world into existence, yet came to earth, incarnate, as a baby, that we might be saved from our sin, LOVED us and LOVES us.
And at the time that Christ died for ALL of the sins of the world, I had not even been born yet. Yet he died for MY sin and your sin, and all the sin that has not even been committed yet.
Yes, He bore ALL sin, all at one time, in his body on the cross. And I am so thankful.
Yes, the world we live in is fallen. It is imperfect due to the effects of sin. There is suffering and hardship. But God.....
And yes, I want to Love like He loves. I can only confess my short comings and ask Him to fill me with His spirit that I might love more.
I want HIS love. I want to live in Christ. I want my children to experience Godly, Unconditional, Love!
It is a healing balm to our wounded soul. And it leads to truth and light.
The Scripture calls us to put on love. There are more passages than I can quote or write here, that say the very same things. There are many passages that describe love. And yet, for some reason, love is not the first thing that happens in our hearts when we are offended or hurt.
I am guilty of not loving my neighbor as I should. Sometimes, difficult people come into our lives and it is very hard to put ourselves aside and just love them. It isn't natural to us.
But God....
Why is that? Why is it when we are offended, we are not overcome with love naturally?
I think it is because the Love that we are called to as Christians is not natural!
Scripture says in 1 Corinthians chapter 13:4-6:
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
There are times when I find myself struggling especially when trying to deal with a difficult situation.
I desire greatly, to operate in this kind of love! But this kind of love requires that I be surrendered over to Christ in all things!
Love causes us to give our life away! Not carelessly with no reason. But very intentionally; even when it doesn't make sense.
And when we do, oh the freeing, release we experience in the Lord. All that matters is Him.
I don't have to perform, look perfect, or worry about what others think. It only matters what God thinks. :) He already knows I am not perfect! He knows it very well. Yet, He loves me with the kind of love in which He wants me to love others!
A long time ago, I did not understand the Love that God had for me. I saw him more as a rule giver, who angrily lashed out at those who didn't instantly obey His commands.
However, I learned eventually, that I would never be able, in this lifetime to be perfect, and God already knew that. :) And He loves me in my frailty. He loves me in my imperfectness. He loves me in my feeble attempts to please Him. And the Love that I have been shown is just the beginning of my understanding of God's love.
Who can fathom it?
And as I surrender my life over to him, again and again, as Paul said, "dying daily"..... I have found a treasure that is worth seeking. I have found a life that is worth living. I have found a Savior in whom I delight.
And Oh, how He loves us.
Does that mean he does not allow trial or suffering to come into our lives? No. But He is there, each step of the way to walk us through every rough spot.
And we learn.
God, who spoke the world into existence, yet came to earth, incarnate, as a baby, that we might be saved from our sin, LOVED us and LOVES us.
And at the time that Christ died for ALL of the sins of the world, I had not even been born yet. Yet he died for MY sin and your sin, and all the sin that has not even been committed yet.
Yes, He bore ALL sin, all at one time, in his body on the cross. And I am so thankful.
Yes, the world we live in is fallen. It is imperfect due to the effects of sin. There is suffering and hardship. But God.....
And yes, I want to Love like He loves. I can only confess my short comings and ask Him to fill me with His spirit that I might love more.
I want HIS love. I want to live in Christ. I want my children to experience Godly, Unconditional, Love!
It is a healing balm to our wounded soul. And it leads to truth and light.
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