Leaving to Visit Dad

I will be leaving first thing in the A.M. to go and spend some time with Dad. I want to be there, even if he doesn't know I'm there. Please pray for travel safety. Mike is going to stay behind with the girls.
Dad's blog site is here.

The Multifaceted World of Adoption

I have been wanting to blog about this all week. But, what happens? I type, then I delete, then I type, then I delete, then I think about it a little more, then I type and delete yet again.

Why?
Because the Word Adoption means so very many things to so many different people.
Adoption Awareness Month is November.
So here we are in November, and the word "Adoption" can bring to mind joy in the hearts of some, and heart break in the minds of others. It can also bring about the idea of "Oh yea, I gotta go clean that highway we adopted last year. " It may make others thinking of all the cats and dogs in the animal shelters waiting to be executed, and they can only get out of certain death, if they are "adopted". It may bring to the forefront of other's minds that adoption may be their only alternative for children, as they have run out of all other options, and their nursery is still empty.

I have friends who hear the word adoption and it truly brings about feelings of anger and resentment in them, because they were on the other side of the adoption paradigm. They were the birth parent, forced to give up that baby, against their will. Or, there was an abortion in the past, where they didn't choose adoption, and the thought haunts them. Life was ended, and that baby could be 10 or 20 or even 30. So during this month, of "adoption awareness", they may be feeling it as a giant finger pointing at them, "Failure Awareness". And it is a terribly painful.

For the child adopted.... the other side is loss. They have to deal with the loss of the birth parent. "WHY did she give me Up? Didn't she want me? Why me? What is wrong with me?
During a rather poignant conversation couple of years ago, Erika said, "My parents took one look at me when I was born and said, I was ugly, and left me."

Oh how my heart broke at that statement. I don't know that they thought she was ugly, but they certainly thought she was handicapped, and they abandoned her. Ugly no. Different, life changing, yes. They did not step up to the challenge, and they abandoned her to the state at the hospital.

The same for Sarah. but Sarah got a bonus in life. She was able to be adopted once, and then thoroughly rejected. Not just rejected for her personality but rejected for her very existence.
She was not touched physically, for months. Not touched emotionally, at all. Oh that breaks my heart to this day.

For Anna, not the same. She remembers her mother. She loved her mother. But there were numerous removals and her mother had addiction problems that would cause any person to think, "How can a baby survive all that?"
Besides the drugs, and alcohol, there was the severe neglect; the mixed messages. "I'm your mother, but I don't care to meet your needs." So Anna was subjected to the worst kind of abuse. Neglect, and exposure to things a child should never see, at the hands of her own mother. Then, at 2, foster home after foster home.....
Want to know how to screw up a kid majorly by the time they are 5? The recipe is above.

So for our girls, adoption is a coin with 2 sides. The side of loss, and the side of great gain.
I say that, not to puff ourselves up, because I KNOW we could not do this without the help and direction of our Lord Jesus Christ. We would fail miserably on our own. But in HIS DIVINE WILL, we walk, daily, broken before him, asking for direction, and taking our hearts to him to heal.
"Lord, only you can heal our broken children." "Only you can take these hearts of stone and turn them to hearts of flesh."

So here is Ma and Pa Kettle..... raised 4 strapping healthy young men.... and pretty happy empty nesters. The LORD knocked us on the head and said, "Hello! You have 2 empty bedrooms! Life isn't for you! You have enough space! You're burnin' daylight!

He opened our eyes to the impossible possibilities of these wonderful, beautiful little girls, who were all "Humpty Dumpies" in their own right, and asked us to aide in putting them back together again.
Has it been easy? No.
Has it been worth it? YES, a big Hearty Yes, over and over and over again!

Life worth living is never easy. Living true life is dangerous, daring, exciting, and you don't even have to leave your home to do it. LOL
The dangers are exposing your own selfishness, and having to face your own closet of skeletons and secret sins. The first one to go is pride. Then, those old grudges or hurts that you hung onto like badges of honor. You see, you cannot help another person to heal, if you are broken yourself!
And just when you thought things were ok, out pops another thing the Lord wants to work on.
It is an amazing life.

So now, we get to the positive side of adoption. After facing the loss blows that life gives.... we look to the future with great anticipation. We look at it together, as a family... a FAMILY!
A true family that God has brought together, AND is recognized by the Law of this land as one in the same with a child who was born of our flesh. On the birth certificate, it does not say, "born to unknown parents". It no longer says Orphan. On that birth certificate it has my name and my husbands name, and it states that OUR daughter was born in the actual place she was born, on the actual date, and our names are written there, just as if we had been there ourselves.
The LAW recognizes adoption and a new start. It erases what cannot be erased from the heart, but the intent is good. To give a new life, a new identity, a fresh start.

And now, there is the adoption I have not mentioned yet. It is the adoption of us by our Lord. We are adopted Son's and Daughter's of the most high God, wherein, we can call out to him and call Him, "abba, father".... or "daddy"; a most intimate term between a child and their father.
He calls us and welcomes us.... though we were poor, and naked and thirsty and hungry and blind, he has clothed us, fed us, given us life giving water, so we will thirst no more, and opened our eyes so we can see.
Though we mourn our past, we rejoice in our new and changed lives where we are given in the Spirit, "Love,Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control." And when we screw up, he is there to pick us up, forgive us and set us right back on the right path. His mercy and love cover us. He who sent HIS only begotten SON, so that We would have life, and life everlasting, the creator, the Father God, is the very one who has reached down and touched us. We were dead, just as many of our children were emotionally dead. Yet, now we live. Just as many of our children have been given a new life.

So, adoption effects us all. It is for all. It isn't about trees and dogs or highways. It is about life, NEW LIFE, REDEEMED LIFE.

Oh I am forever thankful that the Lord woke us up and let us know, he wasn't finished with us quite yet. We have much he wants to do in our lives. In Christ, there is no such thing as retirement.
For the mother who terminated her rights, for the baby or child who was removed from a parent, for the woman or man who longs to hold a baby in their arms, and for the adoptive parent who pours themselves out into the life of another, we are all offered Adoption.
And we are all brother's and sister's in Christ.

Dress Up

The girlies love to play dress up..
When I went to Walmart today, they were having a 75% off sale on all those Halloween Costumes. I saw some princess costumes that were pretty cool, and the price was just right!
Sarah's costume was 1.75, and Anna and Erika's was 6.50. Not too bad for Princess Dresses!

Mr. Kittie Winkle The Hunter!

He caught his first Mouse! Yea!
The picture isn't very good, because it is dark outside and the flash was too bright.
His mouse in in the right bottom of the picture, waiting to be played with a little longer before his untimely demise.
Soooo glad, he will not be entering my house!

Ukrainian Adoption Halted Due To H1N1

From: Kyiv, Adoptions [mailto:KyivAdoptions@state.gov]
Sent: Thursday, November 05, 2009 7:11 AM
To: KYIV, CONS ADOPT
Subject: Adoption Public Notice on H1N1 in Ukraine, November 5, 2009

Dear Members of the American Adoption Community:
On November 3, 2009, Ukraine’s central adoption authority, the State Department for Adoption and Protection of the Rights of the Child (SDAPRC)informed the U.S. Embassy in Kyiv that it was suspending the issuances of referrals for both Ukrainian and foreign adoptive parents to visit Ukrainian orphanages due to the increased incidence of H1N1 in Ukraine. According to this notice, no prospective adoptive parents (either Ukrainian or from other countries) will be allowed to visit orphanages to meet their prospective adoptive children beginning November 3, 2009, until the measures taken by the Ukrainian Government are lifted. These measures include a cancellation of large public gatherings and suspension of school and university classes, but do not include travel restrictions. The SDAPRC will keep all pre-scheduled appointments and the adoptive families will still be able to choose children from the database, but these families will not be able to visit children and start the adoption process in the regions. Alternatively, foreign families may cancel their appointments at SDAPRC (they do not need to do anything special to cancel these appointments) and their appointments will be re-scheduled as soon as the Ukrainian government's temporary measures are ended.

As of the posting of this notice, it is unclear how long this suspension will remain in effect, but according to the SDAPRC it may last from three to six weeks, unless the Ukrainian government decides to end the H1N1 measures sooner.

According to the SDAPRC, several foreign families with the referrals issued on November 2, 2009, were already denied access to the orphanages.

The SDAPRC was required to enact this suspension in accordance with the Decree Number 3813 issued by the Ukrainian Minister for Family, Youth and Sports Yuriy Pavlenko, dated October 30, 2009. This decree was issued based on the Resolution of the Cabinet of Ministers of Ukraine Number 1152, dated October 30, 2009.

We will continue to monitor the situation and will post updates as they become available.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any additional questions.

Sincerely,
Adoption Unit/Immigrant Visa Section
Consular Section
American Embassy
Kyiv, Ukraine
Tel: 38-044-4904422
Fax: 38-044-490-4570
Kyivadoptions@state.gov
http://kyiv.usembassy.gov/amcit_adoptions_eng.html
In accordance with E.O. 12958 this message is not classified.

Yep! So Here is Erika In Her Own Room

Everybody's is asleep but her. :)
LOL!

The Grand Girls

Here they are in their Halloween Finest....
There were no trick or treaters in their area, so they swung on by because Gramma always has something good to eat!

Update on Groceries

Well, I feel defeated. I really did TRY to keep the bills down, but with medicine purchased this month, and 3 girls sick, so buying more homeopathic meds, our bills were 1,0005.00

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I really tried too. dang.

Our food bill was actually down.
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm being unrealistic. 2 of us have special dietary needs that are expensive, and I also feed a lot of extra people every month.

Well, we try again this month. :)

Reading and Such

There is reading:And then there is, "Ahhh, reading". :)
I took the girls to the library today. It had been a while . Last time I had to go with lists, because they still had the flu. Yesterday, our regular library day was cancelled because the Library was closed, so today was the day....

After that we went and purchased 3 money jars so they can collect loose change and save it.
I like money jars, because you can see the money and it is fun to collect and try to fill it up over time. While we were at Target, apparently a man thought we were an amusing bunch of beautiful women to behold because he was staring at us and literally knocked down an entire rack of clothing~ ! LOL
I told the girls not to stare at him, as I'm sure he was embarrassed and we moved right along.
I probably should have helped to offer pick the clothing up, but frankly, I just wanted to get outta there.
Then, for no apparent reason, Erika fell down, in the store. She was holding onto the basket, but said she forgot to walk, and I was walking. LOL So, she is on the side of my body with the very sore rotator cuff problem. I tried to grab her on her way down and then I was in extreme pain. I slowly let her down to the ground and then I was grabbing my shoulder, while we all stood there an laughed. This very nice lady helped her back up.

So, after we regrouped, we decided to head for a taco. Anna suggested we make room in the restaurant by her standing on a table and announcing she had the swine flu! That really didn't seem such a great idea, and there were tables available. LOL It sure got a laugh out of Sarah imagining the entire place clearing out with Anna standing on a table oinking. :/

We then had one of those conversations about staring and self consciousness. Sarah is very self conscious right now. She doesn't like looks, and it is something she will have to deal with all her life. Logically she knows that people don't mean harm and those who do are ignorant. But it is still hard.
I was able to tell her about her Uncle, who struggled with kids staring at him, after his hand was blown off, and how he couldn't leave the hospital until he could find humor in hand jokes.

It is something to work on. Erika went through this last year. I remember our son going through it too.
I guess it is Sarah's turn. I just hate to see the kids hurt, but that is part of life.
I did tell ALL of them on the way home.
"Do not let an ignorant or rude person waste ONE MINUTE of your life, or effect what you do!"
Life is just to precious to give another person control like that.

We Have Done the Unthinkable!

We gave Erika her own room.





All 3 girlies have shared the same room for 3 and a half years, since Erika came home from Ukraine.
It has worked very well.

But something has happened. Erika, being the oldest by 5 months 1 week and 1 day, has decided that listening to Hank the Cow Dog CD's to go to sleep is not her thing anymore. The closet light is no longer necessary, and it keeps her awake. But Sarah still needs the closet light for comfort, and Anna and Sarah LOVE Hank.

She has not demanded anything, but gently asked a few months ago, to which I said, I would pray about it.

So the time came. She quietly started moving her things into the guest room to make it her own.

Anna and Sarah realized what she was doing before I could sit them down and talk about it, and the tears started to flow. They were so sad she was moving down the hall. Anna said, "Doesn't she like us anymore?" Sarah said,"I pinky promised not to get mad if she takes too much blanket!"

No dears, she is growing up, just like you!
So I explained the plan.

IF we could knock a wall down between the 2 rooms and make one GIANT room we would. I would also cut out the ceiling into the attic to make a fabulous loft that looked down on their room, as we have a full attic... but that isn't practical right now.

So for 6 months, Erika has her own room. In May, it will be Anna's turn, and Erika will move back in with Sarah, and then 6 months later, it will be Sarah's turn, (to which Sarah said, NEVER! Please don't make me have my own room) LOL

So our experiment has begun in ernest. They are fixing their new homes up, and Anna came in to announce that Erika was listening to "Christian Rock". LOL

I think this will give them the best of both worlds, both learning to share and learning to live in their own room. Except Sarah of course.